He’s a cheap date. Err coach. Apparently he wasn’t joking when he said he doesn’t pay attention to the money he earns. Unlike some of the hot shot coaches around the country making multi-millions — the Sabans, Tressels, Stoops, Meyers of the world, Joe Pa is content just scraping by. The Patriot-News reports that Paterno’s making just over $500,000 in salary this year — $512,664 to be exact.

While that number seems small for a big-name coach, and it is, Paterno could be pulling more from sponsorship deals, and/or media work. Still, it isn’t exactly a whole lot. Recently the Pac-10 football coach salaries were revealed. At its base level, Joe Pa would be 9th in salary out of the 10 coaches. That’s pretty low. I’m guessing his assistants and coordinators, who also carry most of the actual coaching load, get paid a good amount. So in case you were wondering why Paterno hasn’t been fired, aside from his reputation and legacy at Penn St., it’s probably because he’s not costing them a whole lot anyway. I guess we’re bringing new meaning to the term “figurehead.”

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The ubiquitous SpinMax, who also happens to be the biggest Oklahoma fan in the world this week, emails in with this great story. Not to be outdone by Chris Henry, Heat guard Smush Parker got involved in an altercation with a valet parker this week.

Yomaira McKenzie, 41, said Parker ‘’lost it'’ Tuesday morning when he was asked to pay the $12 valet parking charge he allegedly owed at a condo building at 355 Biscayne Blvd. McKenzie is an assistant manager at Standard Valet, which services the building.

According to a Miami police incident report, Parker, 26, claimed he had paid the fee in advance a night earlier. He said he did not have any available cash to pay Tuesday.

Tension apparently escalated when Parker, denied his keys until he settled the debt, allegedly pushed a valet podium and grabbed McKenzie’s arm in an attempt to get his keys, according to the incident report.

As someone who never carries more than $20 in their wallet at any given moment, I feel for Smush. But come on, is that really a reasonable way to react to the inability to pay a fee, even if you had paid it the previous night? Violence is not the answer to all life’s problems, Smush. On the bright side, at least he didn’t go to the “don’t you know who I am?” card.

(photo from Flickr)

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Is Tony Kornheiser leaving Monday Night Football next year? [Deadspin]

Boris Becker broke up with his chick over text message [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

Who designs these crappy Olympics mascot logos? [100% Injury Rate]

Ahhh! Jennifer Love Hewitt is engaged! Noooo! [Dlisted]

Remembering old bowl game names before corporate sponsors [The Big Picture]

Already beginning the NBA MVP debate (podcast) [The Basketball Jones]

Who would you cast for the Barry Bonds movie [Steroid Nation]

Erin Andrews happy to be Playboy’s sexiest sportscaster [SI Extra Mustard]

What self-help books the athletes are reading [Ghosts of Wayne Fontes]

Just what we need, more Britney Spears progeny in the world [TMZ]

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We all know how volatile Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa can be at times. Usually he’s a pretty sharp fellow, on edge, defending his players and team. But when he was arrested for a DUI during spring training, he appeared completely helpless. Tony was hammered worse than a pledge at big sis night. Check out the following video of his DUI arrest that was recently released (around the one minute mark he struggles walking the line, then around the two minute mark is his attempt at the alphabet). Must see:

Now, as justice would have it, is a DUI bust in my future? Heck no. I’ll steer clear of that. At least if there is a bust, I’ll get the alphabet straight. Video via Ballhype.

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Former college football coach and current analyst Lou Holtz was a guest on Mike and Mike in the Morning on ESPN Tuesday. Erik Kuselias, who was filling in for Greeny, was ranting about all the college football coaches that resigned were fired the past few weeks. As Kuselias said, and I agree, some of the coaches probably didn’t deserve to be replaced because they did a pretty good job. When Holtz was asked specifically about Arkansas getting rid of Houston Nutt, he answered with a broad generalization:

Kuselias: What do you think about the expectations at a place like Arkansas versus what they’re getting from a coach like Houston Nutt?

Holtz: Well the coaching profession has changed in this respect. It’s no longer just the sportswriters you deal with — you get the internet. The thing about the internet, they can put any rumors there, don’t have to sign the correct name, don’t have to hold an element of truth, not held accountable for. Consequently, there’s just a bunch of things that goes against you.

You know, as hard as it is to be a college football coach, it’s becoming increasingly more difficult to be a blogger. You got analysts and prominent media members out there bashing you left and right, creating a constant struggle. They can make blanket statements, don’t have to suffer backlash, don’t have to cite any specific examples, and not get held accountable for them. Until now.

I understand the point Lou was trying to make, but he said it with such contempt that the message got lost amidst the general attack on the internet. Had he said that the internet has allowed passionate fans to prominently voice their opinions, contributing to the overall feeling of impatience towards coaches, I would’ve probably agreed. But the way he said it makes him out to be a crotchety old man who’s too good to use a “damn computer.” Maybe avoiding generalizations of that nature is advised in the future. And it’s comments like these that help explain why Holtz is out of the coaching profession.

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There’s been a bit of a discussion going on in the comments following the post suggesting UCLA still has a shot at the Rose Bowl after beating Oregon, despite completing just four passes in the game. The discussion raises a larger issue beyond strictly UCLA football: is it ever OK to root against your team? I have mixed feelings on this subject, considering I’ve only been lukewarm to the idea of UCLA’s football team the last few seasons. I think there are two cases when it’s OK for a fan to root against their team.

If it helps the team in the long run to lose in the immediate, short term, then I think it’s OK to root against your team. Losing could help a team in the long run in two cases — if it helps a poor executive or coach get fired, or if it helps them gain a higher spot in a draft. Lions fans felt this way about Matt Millen, Jets fans once upon a time with Rich Kotite, UCLA fans with Lavin and Dorrell. Last year Celtics fans were rooting for losses so they could get Greg Oden or Kevin Durant in the lottery.  The second circumstance is if your team’s season is already lost, and by losing, you’re screwing over your biggest rival. For instance, if you’re a Red Sox fan and the team is 60-101 heading into the last day of the season, and losing gives the Blue Jays one more win to pass the Yankees for first place keeping New York out of the playoffs, you have to be rooting against your team, right?

There are some cases where natural sensibility outweighs irrational fervor as a fan. Those are the two circumstances, as crappy as a feeling as it is, when I think it’s OK to root against your team. Or am I completely misguided because fans are fanatics, with only one purpose — to cheer for a team no matter what? Your thoughts are welcome.

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Now that the whole A-Rod contract is kind of sorted out, and there’s nothing new on the Miggy front, I guess Johan Santana would be the top chip on the trading block. He’s a free agent at the end of the season, which puts new GM Bill Smith in the toughest of spots. Does he trade Johan now, during the season, or not at all?

You’re likely to get more for him now than you would during the season because the team that acquires him will have a full season of Santana starts, rather than a half-season. But letting Santana goes is the same thing as flushing the season down the drain. Trading him at the deadline would net you a lot in return because he could easily put any contender over the edge, and even mean win a World Series win for the right team. But trading him at the deadline also means you’re giving up on the second half of the season, which could be a mistake, given what the Rockies showed us this year.

I think I would hang onto Johan as long as possible if I’m Minnesota. With Francisco Liriano coming back this year, the Twins have the potential to be a contender. If Liriano’s anywhere near his form of two years ago, you’re talking about winning 50-55 ballgames that he and Johan start. Adding in Matt Garza, Boof Bonser, and maybe Kevin Slowey to the mix, you’re dealing with a pretty good staff. Sure they lost Hunter and their offense took a step back last year, but it won’t take many runs to win games with those pitchers on the hill.

I’ll say this much for Minnesota: trading Johan now isn’t the end of the world. It would only mean the end of playoff contention for the Twins for the next three to four years. Hunter’s gone, Johan soon to follow, and Nathan shortly thereafter. Maybe Minnesota only has the money to keep Mauer. They have a new ballpark opening soon, but what will be playing in it? The future does not look bright for the Twins. Keep Santana this year — it’s now or never.

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Wow Tony, it’s getting tough to keep up with you. Last year there were rumors of you dating Jessica Simpson, but you put those to rest. Next it was Carrie Underwood. Most recently, it was hottie Sophia Bush. Then there was the whole Britney Spears incident. And now back with Chestica? At least that’s what In Touch Weekly is saying:

It was the day after Thanksgiving – but Jessica Simpson’s family was more than happy to hold off their dinner so she could return home with her new boyfriend, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo.

The couple showed up at Jessica’s grandparents new home in Waco, Texas, on November 23 (a day late, since Tony had a game to play on Thanksgiving) and received a “hero’s welcome” from Joe and Tina Simpson and Jessica’s grandparents, according to an onlooker. While Tony has denied reports that he and Jessica are dating, insiders say the pair are definitely involved – and they’re getting more serious.

Tony, you’re quickly establishing yourself as the Derek Jeter of the NFL. But hey man, whatever works, you know? Brady’s nailing a super model and setting records, Romo’s kicking ass and working Jessica. Hmm, maybe that’s just what Eli is missing …

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