Official OWW Tri-branded WWE Draft Coverage has BEGUN!
Vince McMahon started by reading a statement in a very somber voice saying we would hear unscripted comments by people from his past to celebrate Mr. McMahon Appreciation Night.
All three announce teams are set up at ringside. They explain that the night will be made up of various interpromotional matches; the winner of each match will be able to pick a member of the losers brand to be drafted. Interesting.
First match: WWE Champion John Cena (RAW) vs. World Champion Edge (SD!) - John Cena tried to FU Edge through the announce table but Edge slipped out and jumped in the ring just in time causing Cena to be counted out. Edge wins. The computer randomly chose The Great Khali to be drafted to SmackDown!… which caught Edge off guard because Khali is now a potential challenger for his World Heavyweight title!
They showed a short video package talking about Vince McMahon getting started in the wrestling business. It was mostly stuff they made for the McMahon DVD a few years back. I suspect we’ll see a couple more pieces like this before the end of the night.
Jesse “The Body” Ventura gave his unscripted comments about Vince Mcmahon; he wouldn’t call him “Mr.” but instead called him simply “McMahon” like the old days. Jesse called McMahon a dictator and added that all dictators eventually fall.
Second match: C.M. Punk (ECW) vs. Carlito Cool (RAW) - C.M. Punk survived the back-stabber and nailed Carlito with the GTS (Go-To-Sleep). Punk wins. The computer randomly chose The Boogeyman to be drafted to ECW. Punk seemed excited but Joey Styles was afraid of the Boogeyman!
Next up they showed unscripted comments by Snoop Dog about Vince McMahon but who the hell really cares what Snoop Dog has to say about wrestling? Boy they were really scraping the bottom of the barrell weren’t they.
The next Mr. McMahon video package featured some of the dastardly things that Mr. McMahon has done over the years including the Bret Hart screwjob and using his famous catch phrase “You’re Fired!”
Mick Foley was up next. He came out to the stage to talk about the open WWE championship match at Vengeance and said he was a three time former WWE champion and he’s a member of the RAW roster. Foley said if he survives the draft tonight then he will be apart of the open WWE championship match at Vengeance in two weeks. Mick Foley talked about the Kiss My Ass Club and wondered if Vince McMahon had any real friends. Mick read a list of names such as Hulk Hogan, Triple H, Eric Bischoff, The Rock, Shawn Michaels, Trish Stratus, Ted Turner, all of whom declined to take part in Vince McMahon Appreciation night. Foley basically said he doesn’t blame them and the fans agreed whole-heartedly.
Third Match: Umaga (RAW) vs. Balls Mahoney (ECW) - Umaga won in less than a minute with the Samoan Spike. The computer randomly chose King Booker (presumably with Sharmell) to be drafted to RAW.
Jackass star (and I use that term loosely) Steve-O gave his comments on Vince McMahon, thanking him for all the entertainment and saying YOU ARE THE MAN!
Fourth Match: Chris Benoit (SD!) vs. Bobby Lashley (ECW) - Bobby Lashley defeated Chris Benoit. The computer randomly selected (ironically) Chris Benoit to be drafted to the ECW brand. Lashley and Benoit shook hands in the spirit for competition. JBL and Michael Cole were irate that SD! was getting screwed over in the draft. I hope this means SmackDown! will end up with Triple H on their roster by the end of the night.
Donald Trump was the next to give his unscripted comments about Vince McMahon. He basically said it was foolish for Vince to give himself an Appreciation Night.
The recently fired Ashley Massaro gave her comments live via sattelite and thanked Mr. McMahon for creating the WWE Diva Search. Ashley showed footage of Vince McMahon forcing Trish Stratus to disrobe and bark like a dog. Ashley then gave Mr. McMahon a gift in the form of Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young coming out in front of the live crowd and disrobbing and dropping to their hands and knees and barking like a dog. The WWE has hit an all-time low!
Next up in the parade of unscripted commentary were WWE Hall of Famers Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka and The Iron Sheik. God bless them both but I have no idea what either of them said about Vince McMahon.
Fifth Match: United States Champion Montel Vontavious Porter (SD!) vs. Intercontinental Champion Santino Marella (RAW) - MVP managed to score the victory and finally it looked like SD! was going to score some new talent. The computer randomly selected Torrie Wilson to be drafted to SmackDown! — Damn SmackDown! is totally getting screwed.. The most embarassing part about it is that Michael Cole & JBL thought that getting Torrie made up for losing King Booker, Boogeyman and Chris Benoit.. What a bunch of idiots!
Perhaps the highlight of the show was Bret “The Hitman” Hart’s unscripted comments about Vince McMahon.. It was a quick segment and he said the best way he can think of to show his appreciation to Vince McMahon would be with one of these (holds up his fist) accross the head! Yes!!!
Sixth Match: Gene Snitsky (ECW) vs. Mike “The Miz” Mizanin (SD!) - Snitsky quickly won the match but kept beating the crap out of The Miz after the match until the referee reversed the decision and gave SmackDown! the next draft pick. The computer randomly selected “The Masterpiece” Chris Masters to be drafted to SmackDown!..
The legendary Bobby “The Brain” Heenan said Vince McMahon has put more people to work in professional wrestling but he’s also put more people out of work too. Bobby Heenan made mostly pro-Vince comments.
The next big surprise was a live appearance by WWE Hall of Famer and cancer survivor Rowdy Roddy Piper. He introduced a video package featuring many of Vince McMahon’s most embarassing moments such as the DX pranks, Shane McMahon purchasing WCW, the Stone Cold Steve Austin feud, and of course the head-shaving incident at WrestleMania 23.
Millionaire Mark Cuban… who cares what frickin’ Mark Cuban has to say about wrestling…
Seventh Match: Candice Michelle (RAW) vs. Kristal Marshall (SmackDown!) - Candice Michelle wins so RAW gets the next draft choice. The computer randomly selected ECW World champion Bobby Lashley to be drafted to RAW. Jonathan Coachman came out and said that since Lashley was drafted, he was going to be stripped of the ECW World title. That makes absolutely no sense; Cena and Batista were both drafted as champions two years ago and kept their titles. Lashley surrendered the title but said he was still a champion and he was going to prove it on OWW.
Bob Costas gave his bitter comments about Vince McMahon not hiring him to work for the WWE after Mean Gene Okerland left the company. Costas talked about kicking Vince’s butt when he interviewed him on his show.
Eighth Match: Batista (SmackDown!) vs. Jeff Hardy (RAW) vs. Elijah Burke (ECW) - Batista won giving SmackDown! its fourth draft pick. The computer randomly chose “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair to be drafted to SmackDown!.. Batista loved it!
“Captain” Lou Albano said he’s known Vince McMahon since he was a kid and he’s still a punk!
“The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes was the next surprise; Rhodes said that Vince McMahon’s vision was to build the biggest empire in the sports entertainment industry. He said that it didn’t matter how many families McMahon put out of work along the way to building his legacy. Dusty added that you don’t have to love him, like him, or agree with his psychology, you gotta respect Vince McMahon! True.
Mean Gene Okerland talked about Vince McMahon firing him but it’s okay because he got a pretty good job with WCW.
Ninth Match: 15-Man Battle Royal for the final two draft choices featuring five men from each brand - Team SmackDown!: Mark Henry, Matt Hardy, Chavo Guerrero, William Regal and Chris Masters.. Team ECW: Kevin Thorn, Matt Striker, Marcus Cor Von, Tommy Dreamer and The Sandman.. Team RAW: Randy Orton, Johnny Nitro, Kenny Dykstra, Viscera, and Eugene Dinsmore.. |=|=|=| Striker eliminated. Sandman eliminted. Regal eliminated. Guerrero eliminated. Dreamer eliminated. Thorn eliminated. Viscera eliminated (by Mark Henry). Dykstra eliminated. Eugene eliminated, Cor Von eliminated. Nitro eliminated. Masters eliminated. Henry eliminated. Hardy eliminated. Orton win!
RAW (as if they needed it) receives the final two draft picks. The computer randomly selected Gene Snitsky to be drafted to RAW. The computer randomly selected the final draft of the evening, Mr. Kennedy has been drafted to Monday Night RAW!!!!!!!!
Stone Cold Steve Austin gave his entertaining comments about his enemy Vince McMahon, remembering some of the pain and suffering that he has inflicted upon McMahon over the years and then went on a verbal tirade, most of which had to be bleeped out.
They announced John Cena vs. Mick Foley vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Randy Orton vs. King Booker from the WWE Championship this Sunday at Vengeance. In addition to that, Edge vs. Batista for the World Heavyweight title in their final conflict.
Vince McMahon made his way to the ring with a distant expression on his face. He stood there looking around for a while and then said “thank you” into the microphone and dropped the microphone and wandered backstage where all of his employees were staring at him and then exited through the door. Vince McMahon walked out to his limosine, stopping several times, and hesitating before opening the door to the limo. Vince McMahon opened the door and stepped inside and suddenly the limosine blew up in a big ball of flames!!! OH MY GOD THEY KILLED VINNIE….. YOU BASTARDS!!!!
The Great Khali drafted to SmackDown!
The Boogeyman drafted to ECW
King Booker drafted to RAW
Chris Benoit drafted to ECW
Torrie Wilson drafted to SmackDown!
Chris Masters drafted to SmackDown!
Bobby Lashley drafted to RAW (and also stripped of the ECW World title)
Ric Flair drafted to SmackDown!
Gene Snitsky drafted to RAW
Mr. Kennedy drafted to RAW.
Thank you for joining us for LIVE Coverage of the WWE Draft.