SUNDAY AM: I heard Tom Cruise did Lions For Lambs for "virtually nothing" to help kick-start his revival of United Artists. Without that, the R-rated movie starring Cruise, Meryl Streep and Robert Redford, who also directed, never would have gotten off the ground. Maybe that would have been kinder. Because even with a very moderate budget of $35 million, the political polemic was killed by moviegoers and reviewers alike this weekend, opening to a paltry $6.5 million from 2,215 theaters with an anemic per screen average as well. Even with only a 92-minute running time, the pic even fell far short of the studio's rock-bottom expectations of $8 million. 

Jerry Seinfeld's Bee Movie was the weekend's big winner since the PG toon continues to attract both young and old alike. Saturday kiddie matinees made the big difference, and the DreamWorks Animation holdover distributed wide by Paramount raked in $26 million from 3,944 venues ($6.2 mil Friday and $11.3 mil on Saturday) for a fat new cume of $72.2 mil. Note that it is very rare for a film to jump to the No. 1 spot after opening at No. 2 its first week in release. (2005's The Wedding Crashers and 2003's Elf both did it.)

In second place, R-rated American Gangster continues to heavily draw adult and urban audiences its 2nd weekend out, making $24.2 million (down 44%) from 3,059 dates for a hefty new cume of $80.6 mil. The Imagine/Universal biopic starring Oscar-nodded Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe and directed by Ridley Scott, looks to have the same legs as Academy Award winner The Departed. Could Best Picture also be in American Gangster's future?

Taking the 3rd spot, Warner's Vince Vaughn laugher Fred Claus tried to market itself as Elf 2. But it wasn't as funny nor as sweet, and potential audiences sensed that. I'm told tracking showed that even though kids wanted to see the PG pic, their parents weren't sure it was suitable for children. And it does seem kinda early for a Christmas-themed release. Studios varied wildly on the Fred Claus wide debut, with Warner's claiming it made $20 mil from 3,603 plays, others saying $19.2M, still more estimating $18.2M, and a few maintaining only $17.7M.  We'll know for sure on Monday.

UA/MGM's Lions For Lambs placed 4th. But the question Hollywood is asking today is what sank the movie: its star Tom Cruise or its controversial Iraq War subject matter? Judging from the exit polling, I'd have to say the latter, because the attendance for this film split straight down political lines already sharply drawn in this country. It was stronger on both coasts than in the middle of the country, and it played better in Blue states than Red states, and it appealed to older, more upscale, and educated audiences. United Artists noted that Lions For Lambs "performed much better" than other anti-war themed movies In The Valley Of Elah and Rendition but that's not saying much -- all focused on the war and flopped at the box office. The film got some of the worst reviews ever for a prestige project like this -- only 27% positive according to Rotten Tomatoes, and Redford's direction was roundly criticized as was the talky script that played like a stage production. If it weren't for the marketing campaign claiming it was presenting both sides, the pic might have tanked even worse. As for Cruise's career as a movie star, I believe the real test of his appeal will come the next time he stars in an action thriller, his speciality. If that pic tanks, then even Tom will know he's toast.

The only other newcomer to the Top 10 was P2 which is the first release by the recently created production and distribution entity Summit Entertainment. It gave this Christmas Eve-themed thriller a soft launch because the R-rated pic was made and financed before Summit's cash infusion via Merrill Lynch and its transition from a leading foreign sales company that took equity in select films. Placing only 9th, Summit said P2 debuted with $2.2 mil from 2,131 runs (that number of theaters showed exhibition's willingness to embrace a new distributor). The small take was expected, but Summit's only exposure is a limited P&A spend because international sales more than covered the film's budget.

The rest of the Top 10 were familiar titles: 1. Bee Movie [wkd $26M], (cume $72.1M); 2. American Gangster [wkd $24.2M], (cume $80.6M); 3. Fred Claus [wkd [$19.2M], (cume $19.2M); 4. Lions For Lambs [wkd $6.5M], (cume $6.5M); 5. Dan In Real Life [wkd $5.8M], (cume $30.6M); 6. Saw IV [wkd $5M], (cume $58M); 7. The Game Plan [wkd $2.4M], (cume $85.4M); 8. P2 [wkd $2.2M], (cume $2.2M); 9. 30 Days Of Night [wkd $2.1M], (cume $37.3M); 10. Martian Child [wkd $1.7M], (cume $6M).

As for this weekend's other debuts, Miramax's R-rated No Country For Old Men from the Coen Brothers starring Tommy Lee Jones and Javier Bardem had the best per screen average -- $17,219 on Saturday -- of all the films in release. It opened with $1.2 mil from just 28 theaters -- an incredible feat. And Sony's PG newcomer Saawariya debuted in 85 venues and took in $600K.

This was the first "down" weekend after 1 "up" weekend following 6 "down" weekends compared to last year.

NOTE: For the first time, I have opened my weekly box office reports to comments. Monitored comments. Please confine your remarks to the movies at hand, especially when it involves your general political comments. This is a film, not a political, forum.

SUNDAY AM: Universal's American Gangster was a real monster at the domestic box office this weekend, gunning down all the competition for $46.3 million in gross receipts at 3,054 theaters. The Imagine production filled with Oscar winners & nominees -- written by Steven Zaillian, directed by Ridley Scott and starring Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe -- raked in $16 million Friday and $17.8 million Saturday (up 11%). That makes this biopic drama the 2nd biggest R-rated motion picture opening in history for a movie that's more than 2 1/2-hours long (behind Troy's $46.8M but ahead of Gladiator's $34.8M). It's also Denzel's and Russell's career best opening ever, and the second biggest drama in history to open in November (behind Eight Mile's $51.2M but ahead of Jarhead's $27.7M).

"This is as great as I could possibly have dreamed," a studio source told me. Indeed, there were huge sighs of relief around Universal which had been trying bigtime all week to lower expectations for American Gangster's debut for a myriad reasons. Not the least of which was the sudden appearance of a pirated copy on the Internet, plus a fall slump with many R-rated dramas failing to gain traction. But American Gangster was the highest grossing film of Fall 2007 (ahead of Saw IV's $31.7M), its large gross generated by an audience that was more than 50% over 30 years old. But this weekend ends all that with the biggest anticipated box office from Friday through Sunday since 2007's record-breaking summer. Busy like a bee -- specifically Jerry Seinfeld's PG-rated Bee Movie which opened a big No. 2 this weekend. My sources say the DreamWorks Animation toon distributed by Paramount took in around $10.2 million Friday from 3,928 venues but then really buzzed during Saturday kiddie matinees to take in $17 million (up a whopping 66% that day). This animated pic aimed at a four-quadrant audience enjoyed a honey of a $39.1 million weekend. Still, with a running time of only 90 minutes, Bee Movie was able to squeeze in many more showings than American Gangster which clocks in at 2 hours 38 minutes.

Both big hits had very different marketing strategies. The team behind American Gangster started way back at the very beginning of the summer with only one trailer (tagged to Ocean's Thirteen) and then staying with just that ad until only two weeks ago. This was a major departure for the studio. But a single clip especially resonated -- bad guy Denzel showing what a good son he is by buying his mother a house. "This most talked-about scene was one of many powerful  suggestions of the complexity of the film," a Universal insider told me. The team behind the movie also wanted to draw on all the similarities to last year's Oscar-winner The Departed, which also centered on cops and gangsters, also starred marquee actors and had a famous director, also earned an R rating, and also received stellar reviews (80% positive for American Gangster on Rotten Tomatoes). The Departed not only opened to $26.7 million from almost the same number of theaters but went on to earn $132+M domestically and $289+M worldwide. Icing on American Gangster's cake was when hip hop impresario JayZ personally created an album inspired by it. And its plot about a Harlem crime boss, plus young African American actors in supporting roles, appealed to urban audiences. Moviegoers were ethnically diverse with 44% Caucasians and 36% African Americans.

In contrast, Jerry Seinfeld, who voiced and co-wrote and produced, went anywhere and everywhere promoting his new movie almost to the point of overexposure. (Jerry got busted for his arrogant appearance on Larry King who's part of the pic; the viral video was all over the Internet Friday.)  He also did anything and everything to market it, including pitch MickeyD. As a result, the Bee Movie is that rare toon trying to cash in on both the kid market (with animation) and the adult market (with Seinfeld fans). "There's nothing traditionally family about Jerry's position in the marketplace," an exec told me tonight. So, despite so-so reviews (55% positive) and no records set, Bee Movie did B+ biz. I've learned the pic proved strongest with moviegoers under 25, especially young families and young parents. It skewed slightly more female than male. Across the board, the biggest draw was its type of movie, animation. And the No. 2 reason was Seinfeld himself. "Jerry was so intrinsically linked to the movie," a Paramount insider told me today.

The only other newcomer at the box office was New Line's Martian Child starring John Cusack in what barely qualified as a Lifetime TV movie instead of in 2,020 big screen theaters. It's yet another flop for Bob Shaye's company, coming in only 6th with $1.1 million Friday and dropping to 7th after Saturday's paltry $1.5 million for what was a disastrous $3.5 mil weekend.

The rest of the top 10 were familiar titles. Here's the chart:

1. 1. American Gangster  $16M Fri, $17.8M Sat, [wkd $46.3M], (cume $46.3M)
2. 2. Bee Movie  $10.2M Fri, $17M Sat, [wkd $39.1M], (cume $39.1M)
3. 3. Saw IV  $3.6M Fri, $4.4M Sat, [wkd $10.6M], (cume $50.6M)
4. 4. Dan In Real Life  $2.6M Fri, $3.6M Sat [wkd $8.1M], (cume $22.9M)
5. 5. 30 Days Of Night  $1.2M Fri, $1.6M Sat, [wkd $4M], (cume $34.2M)
6. 6. The Game Plan  $1.0M Fri, $1.9M Sat, [wkd $3.8M], (cume $81.9M)
7. 7. Martian Child  $1.1M Fri, $1.5M Sat, [wkd $3.6M], (cume $3.6M)
8. 8. Michael Clayton  $853K Fri, $1.3M Sat, [wkd $2.9M], (cume $33.2M)
9. 9. Why Did I Get Married?  $751K Fri, $1.3M Sat, [wkd $2.7M], (cume $51.2M)
10. 10. Gone Baby Gone  $687K Fri, $1M Sat, [wkd $2.3M], (cume $14.8M)

SUNDAY AM: It was an R-rated film festival at the box office this weekend. But did moviegoers respond to the new crop of adult-themed pics, many of which have Oscar buzz? Well, mostly no. The exception was Sony's Halloween-timed 30 Days Of Night which opened with $16 million from 2,855 theaters and logged a modest hit for Sam Raimi's Ghost House productions. The something-evil-lurks-in-Alaska theme didn't have to resort to torture porn to scare (though there's plenty of vampire gore).

But two R-rated newcomers really disappointed at the box office. New Line's heavy-handed political thriller Rendition starring Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal flatlined into only 9th place, opening to $4 million from 2,362 runs. This flop shows again that message movies aren't resonating with audiences this year. Not even making it into the Top 10 was DreamWorks / Paramount's drug addiction drama Things We Lost In The Fire despite starring Oscar-winners Halle Berry and Benicio Del Toro. Good thing it cost only $16 mil and had a very modest ad campaign. In 15th place, the pic made just $1.6 million from a limited run of 1,142 venues with a lousy per screen average.  "I think there were just too many R-rated dramas in the marketplace," a DreamWorks source told me. "I think all suffered because of it." 

Miramax's Gone Baby Gone fared better. Hollywood was especially curious to see how the R-rated crime drama directed by Ben Affleck would fare since he's had a tough time as an actor at the box office in recent years. But the film got great reviews, and audiences made it the #6 movie with $5.6 million this weekend from 1,713 theaters.

Little wonder that, with all these serious and even downer films at the megaplex, audiences wanted lighter fare. Lionsgate's PG-13 holdover Why Did I get Married from the fertile mind of Tyler Perry was the 2nd place movie down only 43%. It earned $12.2 million this weekend in 2,034 venues with a new cume is $38.9 mil. And the 3rd spot went to Disney's family fare The Game Plan which, even starting its 4th weekend in release, took in $8.1 million from 3,301 dates, down only 26.4%. The Rock's new cume is $69.2 mil. Still another holdover, Warner's well reviewed Michael Clayton starring George Clooney hung in (only down -34%) for No. 4, making $6.8 mil from 2,585 plays. But its cume is still an anemic $21.6 mil. Fox Atomic's PG-13 sports spoof The Comebacks was the surprise 5th place movie, showing that audiences are starved for even a medocre comedy even if it'll play better on DVD. This inexpensive pic opened with $6 mil from 2,812 runs.

For the 7th spot, Sony's $11 mil Cannes pickup of Mark Cuban's 2929 Productions' We Own The Night dropped 49% from its opening to eke out $5.5 mil from 2,362 dates for a new cume of $19.7 mil. In 8th place, Disney re-release of Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas in 3-D squeezed out another $5.1 mil from just 564 venues. In 69% of the theaters it played in it was either the #1 or #2 gtrossing film. But the studio also offered a sneak preview of its offbeat comedy Dan In Real Life with Steve Carell which opens this coming Friday. In 10th place, DreamWorks / Paramount's disappointing The Heartbreak Kid eked out another $3.9 mil from 2,782 runs for a new cume of $32.1 mil starting its 3rd weekend in release.

As for other newcomers, Freestyle's Sarah Landon And The Paranormal Hour made $500K from 1,115 dates. And Rocky Mountain's The Ten Commandments earned $475K from 830 plays. 

 

MONDAY AM: George Clooney's Michael Clayton only placed 4th after Sunday.

SUNDAY AM: Everyone knew Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married would do well at the box office this weekend. But certainly not $21.5 million, well enough to double the gross receipts of Triple-A List star George Clooney's adult legal drama Michael Clayton. How abundantly clear that Clooney's domestic popularity as an actor isn't what the media or Hollywood thinks it is. After all, his Warner movie is one of the best reviewed this early fall (90% on Rotten Tomatoes). But except for his ensemble movies -- the franchise Ocean's 11, 12 & 13 or A Perfect Storm or Batman & Robin-- not one George Clooney-starring movie has ever opened big at the domestic box office despite plenty of hype. But he keeps getting hired as the top salaried star of pics especially at Warner because he's considered a big name. Such is the decision making of Hollywood.

Producer-director-writer-actor Perry's appeal to African American audiences went from solid to spectacular as the Lionsgate adaptation of his stage play was the No. 1 U.S. movie with the best per screen average ($4,550 Saturday) in its 2,011 theaters. Perry is now one of Hollywood's most reliable box office brands, again able to tap into a deep reservoir of comedic mayhem and melodrama that his moviegoers love seeing. This weekend, he was critic-proof, with reviewers generally rejecting his PG-13 film.

Disney's family fare, The Game Plan started the weekend in 4th place. But The Rock in his 3rd weekend in release overheated Saturday matinees and overtook both Clooney and Phoenix and Wahlberg. The Game Plan's weekend gross was $11.5 million from 3,128 venues, bringing its cume to $59.4 million.

My box office analysts expected Warner's R-rated Michael Clayton, which expanded into 2,511 theaters this weekend, to be the No. 1 film. Instead, this full-frills studio movie with its expensive ad campaign was only #3 (and even #4, according to some studio estimates) after making $11 million from 2,511 runs. 

Neck and neck with it was the R-rated We Own The Night, which Sony at Cannes paid a bargain $11 million for the domestic rights from Mark Cuban's 2929 Productions. This thriller starring Joaquin Phoenix and Mark Wahlberg finished #4 with $11 mil from 2,362 plays. Reviews of the pic were mixed, and awareness so-so despite a sharp ad campaign. I'm told 51% of the audience was male, and 58% were under 30.

After a disappointing debut last weekend, DreamWorks / Paramount's The Heartbreak Kid managed 5th place. The Ben Stiller starrer eked out $7.4 million this weekend from 3,233 dates, down 47%. Its new cume is $26 mill.

In only 6th place, Universal's PG-13 Elizabeth: The Golden Age opened amid media attention and Oscar buzz since Cate Blanchett is one of Hollywood's most celebrated actresses now. The costume drama's opening box office of $6.1 million from 2,001 dates was lower than the studio would have liked but similar to Pride And Prejudice. It attracted an older audience with 2/3 over age 35.

As for the rest of the Top 10, Universal's war thriller The Kingdom with Jamie Foxx placed 7th, entering its 3rd weekend in release taking in $4.5 million from 2,836 theaters for a new cume of $39.9 mil. At No. 8 was Sony / Revolution's Across The Universe, directed by Julie Taymor and featuring The Beatles hit songs (since Sony controls that music catalogue). Thanks to teenage girls seeing the romantic pic, it started its 5th week in release squeezing out another $4 million from just 954 venues for a new cume of $12.9 mil. Resident Evil 3 from Sony / Screen Gems snagged the 9th spot starting its 4th week in release. With a new cume of $48 mil, the sci-fi pic scraped together $2.6 million from 2,249 dates. Fox/Walden's underperforming kiddie fantasy holdover The Seeker climbed up to No. 10 after Saturday matinees to take in $2.1 million from 3,173 theaters for a new cume of only $7.1 million.

Among newscomers, Yari Film Group's The Final Season made $665K from 1,011 runs, Sony Picture Classics' Sleuth took in $50K from 9 dates, and MGM's Lars And The Real Girl ended the weekend with $85K in 7 theaters in 7 venues.

Competition is finally heating up at the megaplex again after the September/October movie box office is way down compared to last year's. (I blame all the sports on TV right now.) This weekend, five movies -- newcomers, holdovers, some going wide -- will compete for gross receipts. Let's look first at what's opening. Sony at the Cannes Film Festival paid $11 million for the domestic rights to We Own The Night (from Mark Cuban's 2929 Productions) and is hoping for at least a $12 million debut this weekend. I hear the tracking for the Joaquin Phoenix and Mark Wahlberg starrer in 2,362 theaters still isn't good, despite a crackling though muted ad campaign and the tempting pairing of those two terrific actors. But reviews of the pic (62% among the Cream Of The Crop critics on Rotten Tomatoes) are only mixed. So it'll probably end up No. 3. Instead, awareness is very high for Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married from Lionsgate opening in 2,011 dates. His films do reliably well so my box office gurus expect this pic to be No. 2. Universal's Elizabeth: The Golden Age is getting a lot of media attention and Oscar buzz but only opening in 1,951 venues. If those are in urban areas and college towns, then its per screen average should be very high. If not...

My analysts forsee Warner's very adult legal drama Michael Clayton, which expands into 2,511 theaters this weekend, as the No. 1 film. If not, then George Clooney's popularity as an actor isn't what the media or Hollywood thinks it is. After all, the movie is one of the best reviewed this early fall: 90% on Rotten Tomatoes. But consider -- except for his ensemble franchise Ocean's 11, 12 & 13 or the similarly ensemble A Perfect Storm, I can't name one George Clooney movie that opened big at the box office. (But you don't hear Warner execs vowing to stop making him the star of their pics...)

Disney's family fare The Game Plan should continue strong thanks to Saturday matinees. And DreamWorks / Paramount's The Heartbreak Kid remake will continue to fall apart.

As for the future, tracking is on overload with so many pics coming up. Looking big: Imagine / Universal's American Gangster (Nov 2nd), Jerry Seinfeld's Bee Movie (Nov 2nd) for DreamWorks / Paramount, and Lionsgate's Saw IV (Oct 26th). 

How wonderful to see that Les Moonves' despicable CBS reality show Kid Nation is looking like a flop. After a strong premiere when it had no competition, the revolting series is getting its ass whupped -- losing 1 share point each week since its debut. This advertiser-rejected series that gave rise to allegations of child abuse and injuries never should have made and, more importantly, never should have aired.

1. No 'Kid Nation' Screeners For CBS Board
2. Advertisers Are Rejecting CBS 'Kid Nation'
3. A Mogul With No Conscience 

Hollywood has no institutional memory. One of the reasons that the vast majority of its execs aren’t in therapy, and should be, is because they don’t want to talk about the past even if it’s prologue. They’re purposefully amnesiac. Otherwise, they’d have to confront the lunatic decisions they make over and over again (since repeating the same behavior and expecting different results is one definition of insanity). Which is why I want to revisit Summer 2007 whose $4.18 billion worth of threequels and blockbusters smashed the May 1st through Labor Day domestic box office gross record. (Not adjusted for inflation or ticket prices, however, which is why Hollywood stats have as many asterisks these days as does baseball.) It’s not that Hollywood denizens started doing everything right. It’s more like they just started doing less things wrong. The product is still terrible. The process is still tainted. The system is still broken. Feed it with praise and its players will never engage in the introspection necessary to ask, “What the hell are we doing even playing this rotten game?” So let me review what Hollywood learned during its summer vacation:

Don’t make threequels with cast and director intact: So the first Spider-Man and Pirates Of The Caribbean and Rush Hour were humongous hits. And the sequels made even more moolah than the originals primarily because original stars Tobey Maguire, Johnny Depp and Chris Tucker were on board as well as repeat helmers Sam Raimi, Gore Verbinski and, yes, even Brett Ratner. The consistency certainly helped make the pics into profitable franchises in the first place. But by the time the threequels rolled around, the budgets became as bloated as the talent's salaries. Chris Tucker shook down New Line for a new pay record on Rush Hour 3, while Brett Ratner brought the studio to its knees when he went wildly overbudget. And both Spidey 3 and Pirates 3 broke the $300 mil cost barrier not counting marketing costs. Then again, directors Raimi and Verbinski respectively were allowed to do pretty much anything they wanted, even making absurdly ass-numbingly long pics, because the studios were so desperate to keep the franchises going. No one wants to get off the gravy train, but if the fourquels are ever going to see the light of day, hire hungrier helmers whom the studios can more easily bludgeon into obedience and/or hotter younger stars to freshen the franchises.

Don’t make expensive comedies: The whole point of greenlighting laughers is supposed to be because they’re cheap. They’re the K-Mart of motion pictures, not the Neiman Marcus (aka Needless Mark-Up). Judd Apatow’s Knocked Up cost only $30 mil. His Superbad was only $20 mil. Constrast that to Evan Almighty’s $210 mil. If a comedy has to rely on CGI for humor instead of spittakes and pratfalls, don’t make that script.

Don’t go after the religious market: There’s no surer guarantee of box office disaster than to make a movie aimed at appealing to The Passion Of The Christ audience. Look, that pic evolved from Mel Gibson’s deeply felt religious beliefs – not from a pitch meeting. Universal moguls dragged out every trick in the Christian playbook to Hail Mary make and market Evan Almighty's tired Noah’s Ark retelling. But the Passion crowd wants stories based on the New Testament. Heathen Hollywood didn’t comprehend that.

Don’t forget that the toys are more important than the toons: Granted, summer kiddie matinees are one of Hollywood’s most profitable traditions. But Sony still lost $50 mil on its underperforming Surf’s Up animated pic this summer. Then again, Pixar films have lost their magic and each keeps earning less than the previous one. At least last summer’s Cars was a merchandising bonanza. Not so with this summer’s Ratatouille because even Disney can't market a kitchen rat. I still don’t understand why Remy wasn’t transformed into Lucy Lapin or Gary Grenouille.

Don’t expect niche audience pics to gross over $200 mil: One of the reasons so many tentpoles did so well this summer is that they appealed simultaneously to several generations of moviegoers. Of course, wide demos went to see Spidey 3 and Pirates 3 and Shrek The Third. But also Transformers whose toys and toons were first introduced back in 1984. So not only did today’s tykes, tweens and teens want to see the bots battle, but so did guys in their 20s and 30s and 40s for whom nostalgia was the big draw.

Don’t bank on stale mythologies: Just as 300 breathed new life into tiresome toga tales, so did Pirates of the Caribbean provide a fresh take on what long hair, eye makeup and nice jewelry can do for a guy at sea. This summer’s handful of original pics helped reinvent the anti-hero, whether robots or Seth Rogan or EPA head Russ Cargill. Of course, I keep waiting in vain for comic book films to flop, but then I don’t do geek.

Don’t think the public wants torture porn: Gore icon Eli Roth is blaming piracy and critics for his Hostel Part II’s lousy box office, warning that the R-rated horror film is in serious jeopardy. But he got it all wrong even before the summer started when he wished in interviews that "hopefully we'll get to a point where there are absolutely no restrictions on any kind of violence in movies”. Horror flicks are alive and well as long as they don’t venture into torture porn hell. Problem is, Hollywood filmmakers are such an inbred bunch that they make films more for each other than for the audience so they always want to push the boundaries set by their rivals. In the case of torture porn, don’t. It’s icky.

Don’t believe in summer counterprogramming: The chances were nil that an adult-oriented downer movie like A Mighty Heart could do well, especially when sexy star Angelina Jolie dresses down and dons a horrible wig, if the alternatives at the megaplex are super robots, super heroes and super sperm. Talk about idiocy. Release those small, important, politically-themed Oscar hopeful films in the fall.

Don’t make chick flicks that even chicks won’t go to see: When I saw the ads for Evening and Georgia Rule and No Reservations and Lucky You, I gagged. Hey, I love a good romance,. But don’t stretch credulity and cast a real-life glamour gal like Catherine Zeta-Jones as a working single mother with boyfriend problems.

Don’t make movies starring Lindsay Lohan: This summer provided proof her act has worn thin. Moviegoers gave an "F" to Lindsay Lohan's horror flick I Know Who Killed Me. And 70-year-old Jane Fonda beat the 20-year-old head-to-head at the box office while starring in the same movie when exit polls showed 53% of the audience for Georgia Rule went to see Jane Fonda (even though she was channeling her father Henry), and only 34% went to see Lindsay Lohan (whose price quote sank by half after this summer).

Don’t make commercial movies with Nicole Kidman: When John Cusack can open a horror film (1408), and Nicole can’t (The Invasion), this actress has officially become box office poison. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Nicole should be paying film companies to hire her, not the other way around. I don’t care if she can act: she’s the female equivalent of Sean Penn. Let her finance her own films from now on.

Don’t think you can skate with a lousy trailer: Ads will always be the bedrock of a movie’s marketing campaign, and they’ve never been more important because of all the competition and clutter. Rush Hour 3 and I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry would have been stillborn had it not been for summer trailers funnier than the pics themselves. Stardust and Balls of Fury had terrible trailers and were flops at the box office.

Don’t forget that Judd Apatow is officially now a mogul: More bowing and scraping to him is therefore called for. And a bigger bonus than the $1 mil Universal forked over. I hear Amy Pascal is serious about having Sony buy him his own country.

Don’t expect the international box office to save Hollywood summers forever: Yeah, French and Russian TV sucks worse than NBC. But one of these days, and probably sooner rather than later, entertainment choices in Bolivia and Bahrain will become as myriad as those in the U.S., and foreigners will find better ways to amuse themselves than sitting through American crap like Daddy Day Camp.

At least advertisers are showing they have a conscience, even if Les Moonves continues to demonstrate he doesn't. Advertising Age surveyed CBS' top 10 advertisers and found that half won't support the controversial reality show. Procter & Gamble, General Motors, Ford Motor, Verizon Communications, Pepsi-Cola and Anheuser-Busch all should be rewarded for taking a pass on the series that begins September 19th. (Pfizer and Johnson & Johnson declined to comment, AT&T and GlaxoSmithKline didn't return calls, and National Amusements owns the network.) "Kid Nation is just not in our brand strategy at this point," a GM spokesman told the trade. But when Advertising Age tried to list which advertisers were supporting the program, media buyers refused to name them. Can you spell s-h-a-m-e, boys and girls?

Finke/LA Weekly: A Mogul With No Conscience 

I'm told that The Hollywood Reporter's newly named editor Elizabeth Guider misled Merv Griffin's people. They were told by her on Friday that Ray Richmond's claims about the TV legend's personal life had been removed from the paper's website and blog. But she did not inform them until 24 hours later that she restored the commentary almost immediately. Guider's email sent to them today said she made her decision after deciding the piece was not "malicious, mendacious or unfair-minded". Griffin's people have canceled a planned tribute ad Monday in THR. I understand that The Hollywood Reporter's publisher John Kilcullen was away when this controversy erupted. The troubled trade plagued by staff defections and other turmoil has received a multitude of Industry complaints about its decision to run Friday's article. It appeared on the day of the funeral mass for Griffin. See my previous:

1. H'wood Reporter Removes Then Restores Richmond's Merv Piece On Blog & Website
2. Why'd The Hollywood Reporter Do That?

My report last night, Is This Russell's New Line Replacement?, is spot on: I can confirm that Chris Carlisle, exec V-P of marketing at Fox Broadcasting Co since 2004, is taking Russell Schwartz's New Line job and the title of President of Marketing. This is a very bold move by New Line, so I'll be fascinated to see how it works. (A savvy reader reminds me that years ago New Line hired another Fox network and 20th Century Fox movie marketing exec, Chris Pula.) Carlisle has shown himself to be an out-of-the-box thinker on the cutting edge of TV-type promotion. A one-time FX marketing exec, Carlisle got to Fox and famously launched Fox's TV medical drama House by distributing free DVDs of the pilot through Entertainment Weekly and People magazines. Most recently, he helped Fox make its commercial breaks more entertaining (since Nielsen's ad ratings data are taken seriously by advertisers) with animated clips about a taxi driver known as "Oleg". Then, in May, Fox Broadcasting morphed its marketing department into an in-house ad agency called Fox Infinity with Carlisle in charge. The idea was to enable Fox to produce original promotional content more quickly and uniformly for the network, new media initiatives, other divisions of News Corp. and even Fox's media clients. Well, now Carlisle is New Line bound: for what he'll be up against, see my previous: Another Reason Why Bob Shaye Is A Prick.)

The rumor mill is claiming that Chris Carlisle, exec V-P of marketing at Fox Broadcasting Co since 2004, has been offered Russell Schwartz's New Line marketing job. (See my previous: Another Reason Why Bob Shaye Is A Prick.) Fox insiders say that's what everyone there is being told and that Carlisle will be leaving in a week or two to assume the title of New Line's President of Marketing. I'm trying to confirm.

Here's the 411: A one-time FX marketing exec, Carlisle got to Fox and famously launched Fox's TV medical drama House by distributing free DVDs of the pilot through Entertainment Weekly and People magazines. Most recently, he helped Fox began thinking about ways to make its commercial breaks more entertaining when the network realized that Nielsen's commercial-ratings data were going to be taken seriously by advertisers. The idea was for Fox to begin running short animated clips about a taxi driver known as "Oleg" who offered up chat during ad breaks.

Then, in May, Fox Broadcasting reportedly reorganized its marketing department and morphed it into an in-house ad agency called Fox Infinity with Carlisle in charge. The idea was to enable Fox to produce original promotional content more quickly and uniformly for the network, new media initiatives, other divisions of News Corp. and even Fox's media clients.

It may just be my opinion, but doesn't this out-of-the-box Fox gig sound way more exciting than the traditional New Line job?

Another Reason Why Bob Shaye Is A Prick 

(Refresh for latest...) Publisher John Kilcullen kept saying for months and months he was looking for a "star" to be the next editor of The Hollywood Reporter. He even delusionally told job candidates he wanted someone "along the lines of Ken Auletta". No, he wasn't joking. But it does seem like a joke that he's now hired Elizabeth Guider, an unimpressive choice who sources tell me was passed over and demoted at Variety. In short, this looks to be far less of a get and more like an also-ran. But Kilcullen inexplicably needed to hire not one but two high-priced executive search firms to choose an editor who was right under his nose. Guider's selection also continues the increasing "Variety-zation" of THR starting with parent company Nielsen Business Media's hiring of Variety publishing bigwig Gerry Byrne as a consultant and Variety veterans Eric Mika as senior V-P and publishing director and Rose Einstein in the role of V-P and associate publisher. Of course, what's especially amusing about Guider's selection is that she used to trash THR at every public opportunity while at Variety. One source recalls a 2000 USC entertainment industry confab composed of showbiz journalism panelists from the Los Angeles Times and trades, including Guider. "Everyone was surprised by the verbal grenades and utter contempt she had for The Hollywood Reporter. And it is all on camera. Good thing the trades don't do TV ads," an eyewitness said. Another insider tells me, "Elizabeth over the years was particularly outspoken in her competitive feelings about THR. So this really is the loyal general switching armies."

Among the 40 or so candidates for editor on Kilcullen's original list were ex-THR editor Alex Ben Block, New York Times Hollywood correspondent Sharon Waxman, NYT movie editor turned Hollywood correspondent Michael Cieply, THR freelancer Stephen Galloway, Los Angeles Times business writer Claudia Eller, LA Times ex-senior Calendar editor Lennie LaGuire who appeared to be the leading candidate but obviously wasn't (thus deepening the mystery of what she'll do after she's done consulting to the paper). But Kilcullen made it clear to everyone inside the business who called him suggesting names that he was looking for a softball editor, someone who wouldn't ruffle advertisers' feathers.

Of course, Guider is not without her defenders who say she's liked and respected. "At least she's a mature woman who really knows the business, so I can't argue with her selection," one insider told me. "She's a good journalist and a good human being." But others make the point that she's a journalism lightweight despite her many years of experience. In any case, her profile at Variety, while once high, had been lowered recently. She was long loyal to Peter Bart (he liked to call her by the nickname "Guido" while staffers called her "Blanche", after Blanche DuBois, because of her Southern accent.) Yet Bart passed her over for Tim Gray for Variety's top editor job. She was also moved off the important in-the-line-of-fire job of Executive Editor to the amorphous out-of-the-line-of-fire position of Editor At Large. Sources tell me it was Guider's expertise in the international arena, especially overseas TV markets, that was the reason for her selection today. "THR wants to be the international paper," an insider told me. Indeed the PR announcement said she was hired to lead strategic editorial direction globally.

But this is more of the same of what I and everyone else have come to expect from the trades who ferociously guard their insularity and rarely allow new blood to infiltrate. "It's basically the same five people at the top. All they do is migrate from one trade to another and back again!," one trade veteran remarked. Which is why sources tell me Guider's hiring is the unseen handiwork of Gerry Byrne (photo right), who retired as group vice president of Variety and Daily Variety after 11 years in that post and is now a so-called senior adviser to Nielsen, THR's owner. "He's the secret power with no official title calling the shots," an insider described. I'm told it was Byrne who helped engineer THR's hiring of Mika (from London), and Einstein, and now Guider.

One thing is certain: she takes on THR at one of its lowest ebbs. See my previous:

1. The Hollywood Reporter vs Variety, Part 2
2. H'Wood Reporter Seeks 'Big Name' Editor
3. H'Wood Reporter Editor Cynthia Littleton Jumps To Variety; Anne Thompson Also
4. Newest Bloodbath At Hollywood Reporter + Here's Why Howard Burns Got Burned
5. New Hollywood Reporter Publisher

This isn't exactly a surprise because Disney had been moving towards this since 2004 and even earlier when Joe Roth ran the movie division. But Disney CEO Bob Iger today issues a dramatic apology and promise to Congress about depicting smoking in Disney-breanded movies. Here's what's interesting: my pal Julia Boorstin at CNBC's Media Money blog reports that Disney made this news public not in Hollywood, but on the national stage. Iger declared his company's new commitment in a letter to U.S. Rep. Ed Markey (D-Mass), who last month held a congressional hearing on smoking in the media and asked media companies to join the anti-smoking effort. This became a hot button issue this year when the AMA urged the MPAA to give movies with smoking an "R" rating. Now the MPAA says it considers all smoking (not just underage puffing), and especially pervasive and glamorized smoking, in its rating system. Here's the studio's corporate announcement today nonetheless:

The Walt Disney Company today made a commitment to U.S. Representative Edward J. Markey (D-MA), Chairman of the House Telecommunications and the Internet Subcommittee, that it will discourage depictions of cigarette smoking in its films and will place an anti-smoking PSA on DVD’s of any future film that does depict smoking.  Further, Disney will work with theater owners to encourage the exhibition of an anti-smoking PSA before the theatrical exhibition of any such film.

In a letter sent to Representative Markey today, Disney President and CEO Robert A. Iger said, “The Walt Disney Company shares your concern regarding deaths due to cigarette smoking. We discourage depictions of cigarette smoking in Disney, Touchstone and Miramax films.  In particular, we expect that depictions of cigarette smoking in future Disney branded films will be non-existent. In response to your suggestion, our Company will place an anti-smoking PSA on DVD's of any future film that does depict cigarette smoking.”

“Disney’s decision to take a stand against smoking is groundbreaking and I commend CEO Bob Iger for this important commitment.  Now it’s time for other media companies to similarly kick the habit and follow Disney’s lead,” said Representative Markey.

According to the American Lung Association, cigarette smoking has been identified as the most important source of preventable morbidity and premature mortality worldwide. Smoking-related diseases claim an estimated 438,000 American lives each year and approximately 90 percent of smokers begin smoking before the age of 21.

So publicity stunts for The Simpsons Movie have begun (just as I told you they would back in March). Over the weekend, 7-Eleven Inc. turned a dozen stores into Kwik-E-Marts, the fictional convenience stores of The Simpsons fame. AP called it "the latest example of marketers making life imitate art". Its reverse product placement: instead of just putting products prominently in a movie or TV show, fake goods move from the screen to reality. Other recent examples of this include Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, which spun out of the Harry Potter books and movies, and Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. restaurants, which opened after the movie Forrest Gump. Most of the 6,000-plus 7-Elevens in North America will sell items that until now existed only on The Simpsons show: Buzz Cola, KrustyO's cereal and Squishees, the slushy drink knockoff of Slurpees. It's all part of a campaign to hype the July 27th release of the big-screen debut for the long-running toon, which lampoons 7-Eleven for selling unhealthy snacks and being manned by immigrants. 7-Eleven is bearing all the publicity stunt costs, which executives of the retail chain put at somewhere in the single millions. 7-Eleven managed to keep the locations of the revamped stores quiet until early Sunday morning. That's when the exteriors of 11 U.S. stores and one in Canada were flocked in industrial foam and given new signs to replicate the animated look of Kwik-E-Marts: NYC; Chicago; Dallas; Denver; Burbank; Los Angeles; Henderson, Nev.; Orlando; Mountain View, Calif.; Seattle; and Bladensburg, Md. But customers won't find Duff beer, the brand chugged by Homer Simpson. The movie will be rated PG-13, and selling a Simpson-themed beer "didn't seem to fit," 7-Eleven said.

The summer box office is about to overheat with so many movies racing into theaters, so the studios understandably have a bad case of pre-release flopsweat. Warner's Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix (July 11th) just came onto tracking "huge" which isn't surprising since the next book comes out around the same time. Harry is no longer a cute little tween. He's now an edgy rebellious teen. (This tracking mitigates the talk I've been hearing: that the film had trade screenings in Kansas City, Memphis and New Orleans and reportedly "was considered boring and lacking in magic by teens, who felt that it didn't advance the story or characters. They said it was shorter but felt longer," a source at a rival studio told me.) My sentiment is don't bet against the Harry Potter movies, ever. They're a cut above.

I'm told DreamWorks' Transformers (July 3rd), which was tracking "gigantic" last week, is still "as big as Harry" now. (But not in the Spidey or Pirates stratosphere -- yet.) And its merchandise crap is the hottest in Hollywood. (So maybe Spielberg was right to keep the robots under wraps as long as humanly possible.) My box office gurus keep trying to get their arms around an opening number, but it's next to impossible what with the Paramount pic's debut on a Tuesday. Its roll-out over the Fourth Of July week is also going to wreak havoc with the 3-day number from Friday to Sunday used to compare box office. But from the tracking, this robot pic isn't going to need to break records for PR spin.

Disney's Ratatouille (June 29th) is "usual Pixar big." My analysts forsee a $60 million opening weekend, which would put it on a par with Cars. But here's the difference between these toons: Cars was a merchandising bonanza while Ratatouille won't be. (What parents want to see their kid embrace a plush toy Remy?) I still think that sophisticated film critics are enjoying this movie better than parents and  children will. It's got an unpronounceable title, it's set in Paris (people hate the French), and it's about gourmet cooking (not accessible to America's heartland unless the Food Network has changed that).

Fox's Live Free Or Die Hard (June 27th) continues to track "good but not great." I find this a surprise considering the incredibly well-done ad campaign with special effects that seem to defy gravity. But it's been eons since the last sequel. Expect an opening in the $30+ millions.

After Dark's torture porn Captivity (July 13th) is tracking a big zero even with its Friday The 13th opening which is traditionally favored by horror pics. Hopefully, it'll meet an even worse fate than Lionsgate's torture porn Hostel II.