Contest
Max Hardcore and Ange Venus are, as you well know, America's Sweethearts ... and a reason to love again after the tragic events of November 1963. Don't they deserve a better title for their movie than the one the Warren Commission gave them?
Sure they do. And since this is the final WWFRD of the year and because we always listen to a little Dan Fogelberg when watching Max's movies, please rename this film with the Bard of Maine in mind and see what runs through your instrument, just like Cloudcarrier did with last week's jubilant and strenuous winning effort.
· See the real title (jerkoffzoone.com)
Previously: WWFRD Archive
Year in Review
In 2007, Fleshbot's Central Porn Processing Plant handled everything from big budget epics like "Upload" to smaller, more personal films like the Amy Fisher Sex Tape. We laughed at comedies like "Spunk'd" , lifted up our (hearts) to lighthearted romps like "Babysitters", and then watched (them) get broken with "The Skin Trade". The year also saw us journeying to sordid warehouses and the beaches of Ibiza to bring you the finest snatches of Porn's Multistained Tapestry. And you finally commented!
Join us after the gap as America's Beloved Porn Journalist Gram Ponante takes us through this year's Dirty Dozen ... in no particular order.
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7:33 PM ON FRI DEC 28 2007
BY GRAM PONANTE
11,203 views,
Video
It's a little known fact that in some Southern states, "barely legal" does not just mean that a young woman who reaches her 18th birthday is now free to have consensual sexual relations—she's
required to. In fact, she retains that "barely" status until she consummates her womanhood, preferably with a poolboy, scuba instructor or a "stepfather" who is a minimum of three years older than she is. Only at that point does she become fully compliant with all local statues and, more importantly, eligible to appear in at least half a dozen new DVD series. Don't believe us? Look it up!
more »
5:35 PM ON FRI DEC 28 2007
BY DASHIELL BENNETT
16,461 views,
1 comment
Latest by undershaker: I found your nameIn a dvd jacket& in that jacket a letterWere the words of a belleWho'd been led awayLeft for frigidBut somehow she survived itShe can come thru me
Oh I am I amI amAnastasia
AnastasiaAnastasiaAnastasia more »
Hardcore
DCypher reports: In a plot twist that strains credulity, Wicked director Jonathan Morgan's brand new "Next" stars Kaylani as a woman who has everything she wants in life except a man she can snuggle up with at night debating the finer points of politics and practicing sex positions like the Rusty Trombone, the Emperor's Hernia, and the Lazy Cloud Makes Golden Rain with. So what's a girl to do?
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Sex Blogs
The malls are crawling this week with disappointed people returning gifts that were the wrong size, the wrong shape, or just plain wrong. Too bad they can't exchange presents with the busy elves in today's roundup of the best sex writing on the web. Not sure what do give the guy whose girlfriend doesn't put out? Blowjobs make nice stocking stuffers, and they come in all sizes! Perhaps your panties will bring a smile to some poor sap, or a simple surrender of your body may be just what your master wanted. And just because Christmas is over doesn't mean that Santa still isn't keeping busy: he was recently spotted dropping a few Franklins for the working girls.
Gather up your receipts and wrap it up with Jefferson after the jump.
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3:02 PM ON FRI DEC 28 2007
BY FLESHBOT
4,516 views,
Hardcore
If we were sentimental types, we'd use this space to wax rhapsodic about how many times we've gotten off to videos by Titan's Bruce Cam over the years, and how his productions have always been among the better-made wank flicks out there, and how the gay porn landscape is going to be a little less interesting now that he's decided to make "Breakers" the last adult movie of his career. But we're not sentimental—all we really care about is whether a movie is hot enough to tell you about, and "Breakers" is a pretty freakin' hot movie. In fact, we could, uh, wax over a lot of things about it, like the top notch cast (a bunch of our favorites along with hot newcomers like heavy hung Dillon Buck and dreamy newbie Jackson Wild) and Cam's signature lush photography and the fact that 16:9 anamorphic widescreen really does make a difference. But wouldn't you rather see for yourself?
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3:01 PM ON FRI DEC 28 2007
BY FLESHBOT
2,673 views,
Hello, Nena Ristic. We were going to question exactly what made you so special to merit your very own calendar, but then we realized that we have a whole twelve months to study your qualifications in closer detail. Silly of us to even doubt you in the first place, wasn't it? (areaticino.com)
Someday, you too will be having sex with robots—at least according to "Love And Sex With Robots" author David Levy. But as he reminds us in this interview, it might not turn out to be all it's cracked up to be: "If someone has great sex with their robot, they will want the sex with their human partners to be great as well, which could lead to disappointment." Don't say you weren't warned. (andiamnotlying.com)
Interview
The tagline on Zoli Suicide's MySpace page describes her as a "nude model extraordinaire", but that's only part of what makes her so special—though we have to admit, she does make a pretty damn good nude model too. After the jump, join us for a Q&A; in which we get to hear all about Zoli's life as a Suicide Girl, what chicks need to do to impress her, her plans for Charlize Theron ... and yes, get to see some more naked pictures of her too. (Hey, just because we're trying to get to know her a little better doesn't mean we can't be a little superficial. And somehow, we don't think she minds.)
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New York
FROM
GRIDSKIPPER.COM:
Our house videossifier Richard Blakeley is a nice boy, really. He just has certain ... urges. If you're ready to learn a few things and are perfectly OK with a second shower today, then by all means, read on.
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Even with the subtitles, we're having a hard time figuring out why exactly Penelope Cruz and her sister start making out with each other at around the four minute and twenty second mark in the video for their brother's new single. (Unless they're trying to tell us that dubbing porn films into Spanish for a living is the sort of thing that automatically leads to incest ... but you'll have to sit through the other four minutes and nineteen seconds of the video to figure that out for yourself.)
Another day, another person complaining that the media player they bought as a Christmas present for their kid was filled with porn when it came out of the box. How come we always have to supply our own smut every time we buy a new iPod? Life is so unfair. (ap.google.com)
Psst, Berke: SInce you're apparently reading comments on gay porn review sites and have grown your chest hair out for your latest scene at Sean Cody in response, can we make a suggestion in case you happen to be reading this too? Next time, you should totally try sucking some dick or taking it in the ass yourself. Seriously, all the cool kids are doing it. (queerclick.com; more @ Sean Cody)
We're not surprised that Sophie Howard, Michelle Marsh, and the ubiquitous Lucy Pinder have earned their respective months in the UK's Hottest Babes 2008 calendar; we are surprised that all of them are keeping their boobs under wraps for it. Let's hope this doesn't mean we're in for a return to modesty next year—with all the progress we've made over the last twelve months, it would be a shame to start regressing at this point. (dailypoa.com)
Hardcore
We don't know why Hustler chose to send us "All American Fuck Fest" during Christmas week, but it certainly provided the hoary comfort, in porn terms, that mainstream Christmastime programming like "Die Hard", "It's A Wonderful Life", and "Oceans 11" give us on these cold nog-soaked nights.
See what we mean after the gap. (And that guy at Eve Laurence's parts? Not American. But whatever.)
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11:19 AM ON FRI DEC 28 2007
BY GRAM PONANTE
9,462 views,
5 comments
Latest by jonnobot: Management cannot be held responsible for dropped quotation marks.
Also, void where prohibited. more »
Of course, we couldn't let the end of the year pass without one last look at sex education methods in the Japanese school system these days. If we had classroom exercises like this, we might have actually paid attention in hygiene class in high school. (pornhost.com, via yourdirtymind.com)
We're a little bummed that such an obvious and relatively uninteresting candidate as Nicolette Sheridan stands a very real chance of supplying the last celebrity nip slip of 2007. Then again, there's three days left 'til the end of the year, so maybe there's hope that Scarlett Johansson might still snag the title after all. (We can dream, can't we?) (egotastic.com)
DVD
If you're still in a Christmasy mood and hoping for a big present wrapped in a small package, here's the Blatino porn version of "ten lords a-leaping": Viper and his ten inches of Puerto Rican meat in Pitbull Production's "Lord of Da Pinga." Viper's smooth and tatted torso (not to mention his thick and veiny third leg) should be familiar to fans of Latino Fan Club and Big City productions; "Lord of Da Pinga" marks one of his first starring vehicles at Pitbull, where he wears out poor lil' Jazz and "provides his huge pinga for Onyx's sucking pleasure" Make sure you slo-mo the threeway with Carmello in the weight room, which gives a whole new definition to "working out". In fact, it may even leave you sore 'til next Christmas.
· Pitbull Productions' "Lord of Da Pinga" (trailer and ordering info @ thugmart.com)
Previously: DVD: Pitbull Productions' "Steel Curtain", DVDs: "Papi Got Flava" and "Packin' Papi"
10:30 AM ON FRI DEC 28 2007
BY ROD MCCOLLUM
541 views,
Fleshbot