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 PLATFORM: XBOX
JUST ANOTHER WANKSTA
amn the haters, I like 50 Cent. Sure, he’s not as “lyrical” as the Internet’s underground nerd-rap icons, but I’ll take his louche, lazy charm and mean wit over some liberal arts major thesaurus abuser any day of the week. Plus, arguing with the sleek, air-conditioned beats of “In Da Club” and “Stunt 101” is like trying to tell Mount Rushmore it’s not impressive – they’re just awesome and huge, and that’s a fact. Sure, he’s pretty much got nothing to say, but he makes nothing sound cool. If only his game were as flawless. Sometimes, nothing is just nothing. All style and no substance can only go so far, and developer Genuine Games has failed to deliver a game that is able to stand on its own two feet. For casual or non-fans of 50 Cent, there’s no element of this game that you haven’t played in better form dozens of times before. It’s essentially a mix of third-person gunners like Max Payne or Dead to Rights – each level consists of little more than running down corridors and rooms, shooting down every enemy in sight, and then going through the door or passage to the next section. Compounding the problem is the fact that the basic combat just isn’t very fun. Whether the aim assist is on or off, targeting is wretched; your reticle moves so terribly slowly that it’s almost impossible to keep a bead on the surprisingly swift and canny enemies. If your level designs are nothing more than 3D versions of Hogan’s Alley, you better make damn sure that the actual shooting is enjoyable to the player. Bulletproof doesn’t, and fails as a result. However, if you think of this as a soundtrack and video collection with a bonus game attached to it, it’s not a bad buy for fans. There are a ton of great tracks by all the members of G-Unit and over a dozen music videos. It’s really impressive. Whether you can stand playing the game long enough to unlock them all, well, that’s another question altogether  

ANDREW REINER   5

All forthcoming releases need to adopt Bulletproof’s concept of stealing wallets to unlock bonus material. Sack a quarterback in Madden. Steal his wallet. Slay a dragon in Final Fantasy. Swipe its Visa. As strange of a sensation as it is to plunge your hands into the blood-soaked pockets of your attackers, this game gives you good reason to loot everyone that raises a gun against you. The cash that you acquire can be used to purchase an incredibly generous amount of bonus tracks and videos from both 50 Cent and G-Unit. The bad news is that you actually have to play this bottom-of-the-barrel shooter to get them. Sluggish gunplay coupled with level designs that are assuredly in the running for the most generic of this generation make you want to sell this game to a friend for 50 cents within minutes of picking up the controller.

6
CONCEPT:
A banal shoot ‘em up starring the world’s most popular rapper
GRAPHICS:
While the environments are bland, the character models and cutscenes are well done
SOUND:
A treasure trove for fans, featuring big hits by 50 and the whole of G-Unit, plus a wealth of new exclusive tracks and beats by Sha Money XL
PLAYABILITY:
The Max Payne control scheme goes horribly awry with Bulletproof’s poor targeting and camera
ENTERTAINMENT:
Unless you live for everything 50 Cent does, this game will prove unsatisfying
REPLAY:
Low
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