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totsdcover.jpg (46678 bytes) CECIL'S LATEST MASTERPIECE, TRIUMPH OF THE STRAIGHT DOPE, HITS THE STREETS!

The struggle against ignorance isn't getting any easier. And the payments on Cecil's Mercedes aren't getting any smaller. So make room on your bookshelf for the Master's newest collection, Triumph of the Straight Dope--volume 5  in the Straight Dope Cyclopedia of Human Knowledge. Triumph speaks for itself, but since that's going to make for a pretty short books page, we offer the following FAQ:

Q. So what's in Triumph of the Straight Dope?

A. Choice columns from Cecil's vast backlog. Try these on for size:

Q. Can I order Triumph of the Straight Dope online?

A. But of course! We invite you to visit Cecil's House o' Values, where we use state-of-the-art technology to transfer money from your pocket to ours, where it'll probably do a lot more good. Plus we've got plenty of other high-quality Straight Dope products available:

Cover of The Straight Dope

The Straight Dope, by Cecil Adams. Edited and with an introduction by Ed Zotti. Illustrated by Slug Signorino. Published by Chicago Review Press 1984. 301 pages plus index. ISBN 0-914091-54-9

Does the Vatican really have the world's largest pornography collection? What are the nine Eskimo words for snow? Why do men have nipples? What does the 'H' stand for in Jesus H. Christ? Why do pigeons bob their heads? Why does lint collect in your navel? If all one billion Chinese got up on chairs and jumped off at the same time, would the earth be thrown out of its orbit?

The Straight Dope was also published by Ballantine Books as a mass-market paperback in 1986. 398 pages plus index. ISBN 0-345-33315-2


Cover of More of the Straight Dope

More of the Straight Dope, by Cecil Adams. Edited and with an introduction by Ed Zotti. Illustrated by Slug Signorino. Published by Ballantine Books 1988. 482 pages plus index. ISBN 0-345-35145-2. CURRENTLY OUT OF PRINT. SOME USED COPIES MAY BE AVAILABLE THROUGH AMAZON.

How did they get Mr. Ed to talk? Did brontosauri really have a second brain in their behinds? What is a mojo, anyway? Is it true Thanksgiving was invented by the editor of Harper's Bazaar? Why do your fingers and toes wrinkle in the bathtub? Is it true turkeys are so dumb they will look up at the sky when it rains and drown?


Cover of Return of the Straight Dope

Return of the Straight Dope, by Cecil Adams. Edited and with an introduction by Ed Zotti. Illustrated by Slug Signorino. Published by Ballantine Books 1994. 418 pages plus index. ISBN 0-345-38111-4

How can they have interstate highways in Hawaii? How do astronauts go to the bathroom in space? Is there a place called Podunk? Can people really hear radio broadcasts through their teeth? What does Queen Elizabeth carry in that purse? Who decided we have to put up yellow ribbons every time there's a war? What was Barney Rubble's job? So how DO porcupines mate?

 

 

The Straight Dope Tells All, by Cecil Adams. Edited and with an introduction by Ed Zotti. Illustrated by Slug Signorino. Published by Ballantine Books 1998. 258 pages plus index. ISBN 0-345-42007-1

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? Who invented the happy face? Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? If Teflon is a nonsticky substance, how did they get it to stick to the pan? Is the Great Cabal secretly implanting microchips in our brains? Do flourescent lights cause cataracts? What do Scotsmen wear under those kilts? Can some people extinguish street lamps by force of their bodily emanations? Is the U.S. government really hiding alien spaceships?

(Pending insertion of an actual illustration, just figure the cover looks the same as the books above, only it's a teal color.)


Cover of Know It All

Know It All: The Fun Stuff You Never Learned in School, by Ed Zotti. Illustrated by Randy Verougstraete. Published by Ballantine Books 1993. 211 pages plus index. ISBN 0-345-36232-2

Ed Zotti is of course Cecil's feeble but well-meaning assistant. Know It All is a kid's version of the Straight Dope. It covers many of the questions found in Cecil's books but is written in terms even Ed can understand. Also, frankly, this is the PG version, so you can give it to Aunt Minnie without worrying that she's going to report you to the police.

 

 

 

 


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