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TOP CONTRIBUTOR: Dropkick Brody (19)

141 Entries

LAST UPDATE: 03/20/06

ATTENTION: If you see a definition that you think needs improvement, just submit it as a normal term with the word "Addition" at the definition line along with the original word. i.e. "Poop Canoe - Addition"

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Definition: Sign of retardation, shows writer's inability to hold down the shift key. Usually used sarcastically following something that includes an exclamation mark.
"Hillary Clinton is G0DZILLA!!11!!1!!"
By: Zippies Drainage

Is It 2?
Definition: Standard response to anything mathematical.
By: Dead Robot

Definition: A joke based on GAB Po' Folks Auctions wherein the joker is offering up cash for some commodity.  This has become a running joke anytime someone talks about something that could be bought or sold, especially on the black market.
"GABber #1: My dog died. Gabber #2: $20"
By: The Rockin' Donkey

30-minute rule
Definition: If someone gives you a ride, and they say "the thirty-minute rule is in effect", if your trip takes longer than thirty minutes, you have to give them oral sex. (Originally by: Kake)
By: Niles

Definition: The typical answer to every question on GAB. Usually when the question involves numbers. It is a reference to
The Hitchhiker's Guide To the Galaxy where the answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything is 42.
By: Napkin


Definition: Just. Don't. Do. It.  No what I mean? LOL OMG ELEVENTYONE!!!!@#%WER
By: Chickens

Abe Vigoda
Definition: The patron saint of GABbers.
By: Whistler P. McManus

Definition: (uh-rung'-re) adj.  - Combination of the words "Aroused" and "Hungry".   
"Those cherries on your breasts are making me aroungry Bob!"
By: No_Key_Bandit

Definition: While I am unsure of it's origins, it's a pretty standard GAB insult.
By: Dropkick

Definition: v. The practice of automatically clicking a post because the poster is a long-standing member of the board, regardless of humor or content of the post.
By: Feckoff


bark at the hole
Definition: Abbreviated version of an expression used by a Gabber's 90-year-old grandmother who told him he could:
"Kiss my ass, and bark at the hole, and if a turd falls out, you can swallow it whole."
By: Bankey

Definition: A large furry gay man, most likely interested in inserting his entire fist into another bears rectum. (See: "Declan")
By: Oliver Chest

Beef Curtains
Definition: 1. (see beef flaps) the more HGN-friendly version
By: Phuc

Beef Flaps
Definition: A promiscuous woman's Labia Minora or Majora that has been stretched to ginormous proportions due to overuse. (See: "Trae")
By: Oliver Chest

Bitch Tits
Definition: (See: Doobs) Comes from Fight Club, where Bob had Bitch Tits.
By: Hammerhead

Definition: 1. The poster uses this to acknowledge that someone will kill him for what he said.  2. The poster uses this to show that he already knows he is an idiot, so he'll just go ahead and finish himself off.
By: Straw

Definition: Dead Robot's stock entry in CapCons, because 90% of the CapCons are stupid.
By: Livewire

Blue-Footed Boobie
Definition: A small unfunny bird.  Likes to build its nest from discarded schticks.
By: Jay

Definition: The alpha and omega of AWESOME.
By: Chi-Chi Felipe

Boob Droolers
Definition: those who insisted on using the acronym SUYT to the point of over use every time a new female joined the community.  Coined when Trae actually did SUHT and started the boob revolution.
By: Trae

Boob Revolution
Definition: What was started when Trae actually did SUHT.
By: Trae

first incarnation of the current Phla-isms.   Non traditional, often not understood postings.
By: Trae

Brad Nails
Definition: This makes no sense whatsoever.  Really.  It's a palindril.
By: Chickens

Definition: v. To post in an old thread, in order to put it back on the front page of GAB.
"Who's the twatwaffle who bumped Squeamish's invisible thread again?"
By: Mailman

Definition: Music made by 80's metal bands such as Slaughter, Winger, Whitesnake and Def Leppard
By: The Rockin' Donkey


Definition: Caption Contest. A thread consisting of a picture, followed by attempts made by GABbers to find a fitting, but funny, caption. Usually started by Chi-Chi, usually attracts a plethora of n00bs.
"Please change the front page capcon, it has been up for too long"
By: Mailman

Definition: n. boobage; female mammary glands; knockers; magumbos; bodacious tatas; mommybags. In other words, breasts.
By: Phuc

"Chickens is dead?"
Definition: A callback to a prank Chickens played on GAB where he posted as his wife, claiming that he had been killed in a freak car accident.
By: The Rockin' Donkey

Definition: n. the happy smiley face next to the post that you click when another GABber's post makes you chuckle, laugh, or shoot milk out your nose.
By: Erika (updated)

Clickie Whore
Definition: n.  One who will do anything for a clickie, including but not limited to the following: groveling, pleading, taking cheap shots, plagiarizing, hazing n00bs, stroking old GABbers' egos, using clichés, creating false identities, performing embarrassing acts and showing of tits.
By: Lamburger

Definition: A relatively harmless but utterly clueless noob who worked for a gas station somewhere below the Mason Dixon line.  He was chased off in a short time, but an embittered former Gabber assumed his identity and launched script attacks on the board, throwing it into a state of general chaos.  That is, more chaos than usual.  The impostor Clovis (a.k.a Clovis-clone) was banned and/or lost interest. (After this, Livewire wrote a poem about these events, found here)
By: Livewire

Definition: He did... something. I'm not sure what. This needs a better entry. After a private feud, he left to make HOB.
By: Napkin

Comedy. Gold
Definition: Description of something SO side-achingly, can't get a breath funny, it deserves gold status.
By: Dropkick Brody

Computer Stew a.k.a "Stew"
Definition: n. A ZUG spin-off. A daily 5-minute Web show that ran for more than 300 episodes, breaking new ground and pushing the envelope. Was eventually killed by a short-sighted corporation that couldn't see its own impending dotcom doom.
By: Phuc

Definition: Acceptable, but not really.
"(n00b's name here) has a perfectly cromulent opinion regarding the direction of ZUG."
By: Phuc

Definition: n. Genital decomposition disorder (GDD). Something one usually wishes to infect another with upon receiving a Maha.
By: Duuuuh


dead baby jokes
Definition: Another GAB staple. If done right can be very funny (see Ollie's funniest post).
By: Dropkick Brody

Definition: Always italicised, it can precede pretty much any word to turn it into a GABesque phrase.
"Delicious dead babies"
By: Dropkick Brody

Donkey Call
Definition: Anonymous telephone call in which the caller screams "DONKEY" at the top of his/her lungs when the recipient picks up the phone. Alternatively, a telephone call from The Rockin' Donkey.
By: The Rockin' Donkey

Definition: Dude Boobs
By: newwave

Definition: n: something gays put inside of their butt holes. (Actually refers to an incident with Trixxie which has since been removed from here).
By: Chi-Chi Felipe

Definition: The act of being a douchebag.
"Ford's incessant douchebaggery began to annoy even the most jaded of GABbers."
By: Phuc

Definition: n. an irritating and moronic person, especially one who deserves to be kicked in the balls.
By: Erika


Definition: GAB suicide. If you're happy then say so, these little buggers just attract and prolong the bashings.
":-) =-O :-$ :-\ :-( :-* :-! :'( ;-) >:o :-[ :-X :-P 8-) O:-) :-D etc..."
By: Dropkick Brody

Definition: Originating from a quote by Eddie, the ship's computer in chapter 19 of  The Hitchhiker's Guide To the Galaxy, where he says "It'll all end in tears, I know it!"  It is meant as a prediction that a thread topic will result in hurt feelings, mass hysteria, or a sniper in a clock tower. (Originally by: Dead Robot)
By: Straw

Definition: Ever.  Often used for added emphasis, and occasionally used sarcastically.
"Funniest.  Thread.  EVAR!"

By: Whistler P. McManus


Definition: n. A male human who shows characteristics of a human female. Usually preceded by about 50 columns of a lack of text.
"Gotta tell ya, I love the new curtains my huge-breasted wife put up over the weekend." Other GABber: "Fag."
By: Phuc

Definition: To twist the topic of a thread around to homosexuality or homosexuals, or the homosexual viewpoint.
"Damn it, Declan, we're only ten posts into this thread and already you've fagjacked it!"
By: Whistler P. McManus

Definition: Onomatopoeia referring to the average male GABber's frequent masturbatory activity.
"I shot a baby in the face - fapfapfapfapfapfap"
By: Mailman

Fat Daughter
Definition: To call bullshit or express disbelief, especially if suspicious of a prank.  Based on the infamous capcon of Chris Garret's fictional obese daughter.
By: PuggyD

Definition: The answer to every computer-related question asked on GAB. (
A program used to erase the contents of a computer hard drive).
By: Mailman

Definition: Meh. Bah. Yiddish interjection used to express disdain that borders on apathy.
"Nu? You hear our Irving is seeing a shicksa?"

By: Phuc

Definition: An archaic and obsolete member of the flute family.  Once used for signaling troops in battle, it is, in the present day, relegated to use by historic music buffs and other sorts of dorks. Practitioners of the fife are often accused of being "fags," due to the phallic nature of the object.
By: Whistler P. McManus

Definition: Usually the first post made after an article. However, the second and third post can also be this if GABbers are particularly slow. It is treated as spam on many message boards.
By: Dropkick Brody and Roofie Raccoon

Definition: A now archaic GABber insult based on a swearbot substitution for "fucktard."
By: Whistler

For ChiChi
Definition: Best. Kake-haunting thread. Evar. A thread about something that had already been posted that Kake asked us to let die. We did no such thing.
By: Dropkick Brody

Ford (Prefect)
Definition: A popular former Gabber known for being opinionated and confrontational.  His legend persists due to the unfounded rumor that he was banned.
"Ford was banned?"
By: Livewire

Definition: n. A swearbot euphemism for "fuck."
By: Napkin

Definition: A winning combo of the words fat and ugly. (Also fucking and ugly)
By: Dropkick Brody and Millie


Definition: v. a way to fill the boring gap between 9 am and 5 pm without having to get anything done.
By: Chi-Chi Felipe

GABboston a.k.a. ZUG's Ten Year Anniversary
Definition: A big party. But it's not "GABboston". "
It's the ZUG anniversary. GAB is a part of ZUG, merely a section. ZUG has been around for ten years and has encompassed many mediums and shit."
By: Phuc

Definition: a get together where members of the community actually meet each other at a pre-determined location.  Usually involves intoxication, flashing of body parts, webcamming and some sort of group activity which prompts a call to the local police department.  
Slogan: "What happens at GAB - - - , stays at GAB - - - " i.e. GABlanta, GABboston, GABhouston, GABassee
By: Trae

Gab Suggestion Box
Definition: hahahahaha etc. (see "recycle bin")
By: Chickens

Gentle Snowflake
Definition: The preferred GAB euphemism for a window licking 'tard. (Originally by: Fratberry)
By: Whistler P. McManus

"Go eat a bowl of dick"
Definition: Hammerhead used this a lot. It's pretty self explanatory. Well, would you ask someone you LIKED to eat a bowl of dick? It was originally used by Manny Fever.
By: Dropkick Brody

Definition: A hideous, ill-conceived monster from beyond the moon, bent on consuming friends and enemies alike. Possessing little care for English syntax and few goals beyond gorging, it is often lonely.
By: Mr. Glass (What?)

GVG "Girl Virgins of Gab"
Definition: A group of young, still impressionable girls that have been left dateless, broken hearted and sadly, also with fully intact hymens. Often lusted after by the men of Gab (and some women), you do not have to be female to a GVG. If male, but gay you may also join. All members carry V-Cards, or Virgin Cards.
By: This High Priestess of Stewie


Hargrave, Jeff
Definition: John's evil twin brother, the true power behind GAB. (Actually derived from a newspaper article that wrote John's name incorrectly as Jeff).
By: Chickens

"Hello dear, are you new?"
Definition: Originated by Daggy, a phrase meant to blow the whistle on a n00b. Hilarity ensues.
By: default_user

Hilarity ensues!
Definition: when something really funny can or will happen.  Sometimes used in a sarcastic manner. Most of the time, hilarity does not ensue for at least one person.
By: Trae

Definition: The House of Bugs. A similar web site to ZUG, with some exceptions. While there seems to be a sort of rivalry, many users have accounts on both ZUG and HOB. "Take it to HOB"
  is used primarily to try to dissuade political threads. HOB was started by codeslave after a private feud with Hargrave.
By: Whistler P. McManus

Definition: Coined by Trae, it's basically a fat or ugly person (who you usually wouldn't touch with a ten foot barge pole) who you fooled around with when you were desperate/drunk.
By: Dropkick Brody


"I'd hit that"
Definition I would like to have carnal relations with that. Used primarily for shock value.
"Look, a dead baby! I'd hit that."
By: Dropkick Brody

"I Like Cheese"
Definition: Generic response to any controversial topic.
By: The Rockin' Donkey

Definition: v. 1) to create and post as a secret alias on GAB. Susie McMuffin was merely an instance of Chris Garrett imping, much to the dismay the the male GABbers. 2) to hack into another GABber's account and falsely post as them. "Bob Johnson is a master at imping, as he has successfully impersonated both Trae and Jeff."
By: Erika

Definition: Like, when you have this sort of, like, thing between what you EXPECT is gonna happen and, like what then actually DOES happen an' shit.
By: Phuc

"It's a trap!"
Definition: Based on the quote by Admiral Ackbar in Return of the Jedi.  Can be used to warn you when someone is trying to lure you in.  If intended for a noob, may also be accompanied by this link (
By: Straw

"I've seen bigger"
Definition: Generic response to ANY post regarding the size of anything. Stems from it's first use here.
By: Dropkick Brody


Jeff Hargrave
Definition: (see "John Hargrave")
By: Napkin

John Hargrave
Definition: (see "Jeff Hargrave")
By: Napkin


"Killed the funny"
Definition: A more or less accurate description of someone or something that is making GAB less funny than it used to be.
By: Professor Nutbutter


Leet (or L337)
Definition: Impossibly stupid AOL speak meaning elite. It makes the baby Jesus cry when someone writes it.
By: Dropkick Brody

Definition: A site to which we send users who don't seem right for Gab, yet are just smart enough not to fall for Tubgirl. The website features three elderly gentlemen involved in a sort of
ménage à trois.
By: Livewire

Less than three
Definition: Comes from the phrase "I <3 you", which means, I  "less than three" (<3) you.
By: LunchBoxxx

Definition: v. to read GAB in order to get a feel for it, and avoid getting hazed, berated, and otherwise hated when you begin to post.
By: Erika

Definition: 1. n. someone who reads GAB and gives out clickies, but does not post. 
2. n. Someone who is not yet a noob. (see "lurk")
By: Erika and Mailman


Maha (from the old rating system, now obsolete)
Definition: Named after the infamous Maharishi, whose command of teh funny was about as great as GW Bush's command of second-grade English, the Maha is a way of expressing that a post on the message board is either unfunny or boring. It is to click the unhappy face next to a post, indicating one's dislike of the post's content. Generally considered rude because it leaves the user with fewer funny points which as we all know can be cashed in for valuable prizes.
By: Phuc and Livewire

Makes the Baby Jesus Cry
Definition: Something that is so sad that the Baby Jesus would actually shed a tear. 
"When Trae doesn't show her breasts to the Gabbers it makes the Baby Jesus cry"
By: Aimless

Meat Curtains
Definition: (See: "Beef Flaps")
By: Oliver Chest

Definition: An expression of indifference. 
"Holy shit!  That is one huge ______ !"  "Meh, I've seen bigger."
By: Whistler P. McManus

Definition: The name of the protagonist of a parody written by Demo Monkey. Based on the infamous Chris Garrett.
By: Lager Trout


n00b, newb, nube, newbie, noob, etc.
Definition: n. a person who has just began to post on GAB. Bad spelling, poor grammar, and a general lack of coherency and wit are typical characteristics. UsUaLLY spelZ l1k3 this lol!.
By: Erika

Definition: To make something wicked sweet, like a GABtionary.
By: Chi-Chi Felipe

Definition: (See "Maha")
By: Livewire

NSFW (Not Safe For Work)
Definition: Acronym used next to a link, informing the reader that the link leads to offensive material, such as porn or a portrait of Janet Reno. The acronym is sometimes replaced by the symbol >O<.
By: Mailman


Definition: Phrase that communicates absolute disbelief at the previous poster's comment.  Made infamous by our beloved Dead Robot.
By: Chickens

Orbs of Hilarity
Definition = The smiley faces that appear next to each post and indicate its funny rating. The orbs of hilarity have replaced the "pee tubes" in September 2005, with the version 5.0 of GAB.
By: Mailman

Definition: The happy face rating button.  Named after Evil Otto, the bouncing happy face in the video game Berzerk, whose job is to come and kill you if you stay in a room too long. (See "clickie")
By: Livewire


Parody Thread
Definition:  n. The instance of using the words in a thread to make a duplicate thread about a different subject. (eg "Parody Thread" and "Parroty Thread")
By: Trae

Pee Tube
Definition: The rectangle between the smiley face and the sad face that has sections of it turn yellow in response to clickies that are given. "Peeing" in someone's "tube" refers to giving them clickies. (Editor's Note: Replaced by the Orbs of Hilarity as of September 2005)
By: Napkin

Definition: The coolest fucking thing on the entire planet.
By: Oliver Chest

Definition: Plural for "penis."
By: Everyone's Grudge

Phla Talk
Definition:In a confusing aspect speak, if grammatical, dictionary and the references are used, which are not understandable from humans of the ears.
By: Phuc

Definition: What to talk about when all other topics have been exhausted.
By: Napkin

Poop Canoe
Definition: A gift, usually given to an ex- or soon to be ex-lover. It is made by holding a log of one's own excrement horizontally in one hand and using the index finger of the other hand to carve a trench lengthwise into the upper side of the excrement.  The carving should be done in the presence of the recipient.  Upon completion, it should be presented with an exclamation of "Poop Canoe!" (Originally
by the late Manhattan Fever, aka Manny)
By: Whistler P. McManus

Pram it Up
Definition: To take the humor out of a thread or to change the overall tone of the thread so that it is much stupider than it was before. "Thanks for bringing your Carrot Top quotes into my thread. Now you done gone and Prammed it all up!"
By: Phuc

Definition: Usually the end of a plan.
Originally refers to the South Park episode "Gnomes" where the underpants gnomes explain their corporate plan: 1) Steal underwear. 2) ?  3) Profit!
1. Drug the Girl. 2. Put her in your trunk. 3. Profit!
By: Dropkick Brody (Addition by Roofie Racoon)


Definition: Queer Team Alpha. GAB's gang of dykes and fairies, known for their superpowers.
By: Whistler P. McManus


"release a slave"
"release the doves"

Definition: To take a shit.
By: BIG and Trae

Ruining GAB
Definition: Expression which signifies that something is unfunny and frequent enough to cause a substantial decline in GAB's entertainment value.
By: ClintMcPants


Sassy Goat
Definition: (see: "Brad Nails")
By: Chickens

Definition: adj. being totally full of shit.
By: Trae

Second Post
Definition: Coveted spot in a thread, due to it's ability to garner all teh clicks.
By: Dropkick Brody

Server Error
Definition: A regular GAB occurrence. However, it wouldn't be GAB without it. Also the source of many a 'going down' joke.
By: Dropkick Brody

SFW (Safe For Work)
Definition: Acronym used next to a link, informing the reader that the link leads to nothing graphically offensive. The acronym SFW is sometimes replaced by the symbol >*<.
By: Mailman

Definition: Follows a successful series of faps. (see "fap")
By: Phuc

Definition: v. To give one-orb.  " little league everyone gets a trophy. Soccer-Mom type logic so nobody gets hurt feelings."
By: No_Key_Bandit

Sofa King Wee Todd Did
Definition: Sound it out. If you still don't get it then you are definitely sofa king wee todd did.
By: Dropkick Brody

So long to Red Dye #2
Definition: a phrase started by Dead Robot in response to... well, we don't know just yet, but he used it a hell of a lot.
By: Trae

Definition: A sexy cutlery used by Neep.
By: Chance

Stage 5
Definition: A joke which is long... long past it's sell by date. Doesn't even garner pity clicks.
By: Dropkick Brody

Definition: A man found in Boston by repeatedly shouting his name out bus windows at random males.
By: Whistler P. McManus

Stevens, Jay
Definition: Creator of The Least Effective Search Engine Ever. Actually, Jay took over coding ZUG, after codeslave left.
By: Professor Nutbutter

Definition: "Shut the Fuck Up" - n00bs and retards are often encouraged to do so. Often use in conjunction with SUYT if the offending party is female, as in "SUYT or STFU."
By: Whistler P. McManus

The Store (or "ZUG Store")
Definition: An attempt at gaining revenue and spreading brand identity. Failed miserably due to lack of commitment on the part of the proprietor and primary artist, and leaving the keys with the kid with the rusty zipper and yellow sneakers.
By: Phuc

Definition: 1) starts with S... 2) down the block, not across the street 3) use a razor play the wrist violin.
By: UnderWhere?

Definition: The Engrish version of "SUPPRISE!" (Comes from this joke)
By: Lloyd

Definition: A way of welcoming a new female to the gab population, à la "Show Us Your Tits". Works most of the time.
By: Professor Nutbutter


Definition: A deliberate misspelling of "the", which has grown from the constant accidental misspelling of said word.
By: Napkin and Sombrero

Definition: An ignorant way of pronouncing Touché, in hopes that some pretentious douchebag will correct you on it.
By: Sombrero

Tuna Can Penis
Definition: a penis that is two inches long but 6 inches in circumference
By: Trixxie

Definition: A great weapon in today's war on nubes. It is a lovely photograph of a beautiful Japanese woman, who is resting in a bathtub. She is, in fact, nude. However, her vagina is pixilated out, you perverts. She has on a yellow mask, so as to conceal her face, and a pair of white rubber knee high shoe thingies. Oh, and she's also shooting projectile diarrhea about three feet into the air, onto her face.
By: Napkin

Definition: The post-Zug10 insult of choice.
By: Whistler


No entries yet.


Definition: GAB's most successful band to date. They are touring in South America through the summer of 2007.
By: Piquantrax


Wheel of Ipecac
Definition: (we-ul uv ip-i'-kak) n. 1. Everyone's favorite computer game show!  Hosted by John Hargrave and Jay Stevens.  Sadly, only two episodes aired before its demise. (Episode 1 here)
By: No_Key_Bandit

Definition: the act of whoring for orbs of hilarity, usually by posting clichéd responses and flirting. Similar to the "old-age" practice of "clickie whoring"
By: Erika

Definition: pet name for someone who really loves to love a lot.  A LOT.
By: Trae 

Definition: The sound of a joke doing MACH-5 over one's head. Standard reply to someone who obviously did not get the joke.
By: Mailman


Definition: X is for X, motherfuckers!

By: Mr. Sir


No entries yet.


Definition: Invented by Squeamish.  A word inserted into a thread that theoretically makes the thread easy to recall via search.  For example, if a single mother claims her babydaddy will stick around forever, the word 'zanzibar' in the thread will make it easy to find six months later when the babydaddy skips town.  Zanzibaring a thread has become less effective due to the number of single mothers and the fact that the search engine is useless.
By: Professor Nutbutter


Definition: n. The World's Only Comedy Site.
By: Briham

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