KJP'S MEDIUM RARE RAW REPORT #24
Date: 4/3/95 Taping date: 4/3/95 Site: Mid-Hudson Civic Center,
Pughkeepsie, NY. Hosts: The Rev. Vince McMahon (well, how else do
you explain that collar? Rogue anthropologists?) and James E.
The usual collection of still shots from the recent PPV:
Bam Bam vs. LT and friends. Taylor demonstrates that it is indeed
possible to learn how to wrestle in two months' time, and actually be
somewhat convincing. Oh, and he won, too.
Diesel vs. Michaels. Rough night for the HB Kid. Loses two girls and
a shot at the title in the space of a couple of hours.
Owen/Yoko. I think it's safe to say continuity won't be this team's
strong suit. What a way for Owen to finally get gold, but at least a
wrong has been righted.
-- titles --
Regarding the return of Yoko, Cornette says, "WE [my emphasis] had to
keep it a secret." So the King of Harts is now in the Cornette stable?
Well, we've got no time to speculate, because it's time for our first
match, which is, well, they haven't gotten around to telling us yet.
Okay, out comes Bob "Spark(y) Plugg" Holly, fine, and while they're
still playing his music, he parts the ropes to allow entry to the 1-2-3
Kid. So it's a tag match, then? No, Cornette says it's a singles
match. So it's between Holly and the Kid, sort of like those
Jeanetty/Kid matches? Oops, nope, here comes a heel...
Bob "Spark(y) Plugg" Holly (w/1-2-3 Kid) vs. Hakushi (w/Shinja)
Vince relates that rather forgotten scene of Hakushi attacking Bret
Hart after the latter had received an award from the Japanese media.
"But it was not Bret Hart who said 'I Quit' last night." Of course, by
many accounts, it wasn't Backlund who said it, either, but that's mere
Lockup, and after a bunch of dancing around Holly scores first contact
with a shoulder block, then some more dancing ending in Holly pulling
up short and surprising Hakushi with a midsection boot. Whip, dance,
dropkick, dropkick, and #15 is a few carlengths ahead after the first
lap. Next lockup, Hakushi gets the shoulder block, more dancing, but
before Hakushi can remember what comes next, Holly hits him with a hip
toss. Hakushi is one of Japan's finest athletes, you know. The referee
briefly admonishes Holly for hurting his opponent so. Hakushi's back
is a bit out of kilter, but a quick somersault makes that right. Lockup
#3, and Holly decides to try working on Hakushi's left arm. Hakushi,
with a terribly annoying response, uses his free hand to squeeze
Holly's cheeks together. Anyone NOT have a grandmother who did that?
Holly is so put off by this he retreats to his favorite spot, the
corner. The referee backs Hakushi off two steps, just the distance
Hakushi needed to execute a lightning-fast swivel kick! Hakushi with
the six-inch, well, three-inch cross-corner whip, and Hakushi thinks
that looked like so much fun he wants to try it himself. Holly alertly
clears the way; otherwise someone could get hurt! Cut to the new tag
champs, strolling up the aisle and having a conversation. In what
language, I wonder. Holly jumps off the top rope and misses Hakushi by
a solid three feet. But the big question on everyone's lips as we go
to break: Is Yokozuna really growing a beard??
-- ad break --
Hakushi is being tactically sound; if you're going to have Holly in the
corner, make sure he's not facing you. Hakushi seems to be working on
Holly's left arm, and doing it in the slowest, most annoying way
possible. The Kid suggests a little offense might be in order, so
Holly nails Hakushi in the gut with his good arm a couple of times.
Then it's back to work for Hakushi. As for a progress report on our
interlopers, Owen is yelling at the cameraman for shooting him on his
bad side, and the cameraman protests that Owen doesn't *have* a good
side. Yoko, meanwhile, is sharing his appraisal of Bay-area sushi bars
with Shinja. Hakushi moves on to a snapmare, then a knee drop from a
hand stand. Show off. Cover for 2. And they go into resthold mode,
so it's time to fire up the auxiliary backup match: Owen comes at the
Kid with a clothesline, but misses and gets nailed with a spinning
kick. Then the Kid hits a chop that looks like it hit right at Owen's
throat. Meanwhile, our official combatants, realizing they're being
upstaged, get it back in gear. Holly throws off Hakushi, who gets up
and retaliates with a clothesline. Not to be left out, Yokozuna
waddles into action. Inside, Hakushi sets up Holly on the top
turnbuckle. Incredibly, Yokozuna manages to sneak up on the Kid, and
then he steps on him. Hakushi has Holly all set up, and executes...
the Renoplex! Riggins should be honored to have such a famed superstar
use his maneuver so ineffectively. Holly tries again with the leap
from the top, and again jumps way too far, though at least this time he
manages to just catch Hakushi in the throat. Both combatants arise and
perform the "I-block-your-punch-you-don't-block-mine"; Holly, as the
face, gets the better of it, of course. Hakushi misses a clothesline,
and Holly, taking his cue from the Kid again, hits Hakushi with a
couple of throat chops of his own. Whip, back body drop, cover for 2.
Dropkick for 2. Clothesline. Holly, having so much success with the
N-S line, decides to mix it up with an E-W line of attack. Yokozuna
begs to differ. A quick clip, and Holly's face finds mat. Holly
conveniently rolls over, and it is only left for Hakushi to perform,
literally, a back drop, to serve as a cover for the three-count. The
tag champs take a hike, and the Kid looks much more angry with himself
-- promotional considerations --
Jim Ross, NOT Todd Pettengill, with your Wrestlemania report. Small
favors, and all that. Main event. Salt 'N Pepa enter. Million Dollar
Team enters. LT's All-Stars enter. Let's see, did we forget anyone?
Oh, the participants! Bam Bam enters with a critical review of Salt 'N
Pepa's lyrics. Taylor finally shows up, and pulls off the upset. Later
on, Bam Bam doesn't know where he stands with the Corporation, but he's
not retiring, and he can still say the WWF Slogan, which prompts Ross
to call Bigelow a "great athlete". Will they stop teasing us and get
on with the face turn already? Hart/Backlund. Big surprise, guest
referee Rowdy Roddy Piper. Big surprise to whom? The fans? Ross?
Hart and Backlund? McMahon? Tunney? Piper? Hart tries out the
figure-four, then later reverses the CFCW. Piper "says he heard... 'I
Quit'", sort of implying Ross did not. Undertaker/Bundy, refereed by
an out-of-work (for the moment) AL ump. Urn, urn, who's got the urn?
'Taker's got the urn. No, Bearer's got the urn. No, Kama's got the
urn, and quickly scores an urn-ed run, though now we know who Callas's
next victim will be. Kama, does the name "Mr. Hughes" mean anything to
you? Ross rather discretely plugs the inevitable replay, and closes
And it's over to McMahon, in interview formation, all set for...
Diesel. Oh, yes, Ross forgot to mention he retained his belt. McMahon
enthusiastically greets his meal ticket. It's a new WWF generation,
you know. But McMahon quickly gets to the point. What about Shawn
Michaels' request for a rematch? Oh, we forgot to mention Michaels
requested a rematch. Diesel replies that *he'd* be the one requesting
the rematch, if it hadn't been for Sid. Oh, we forgot to mention how
Sid cost Michaels the match. There were a bunch of if's and but's in
the match, and probably a number of and's and or's, too, but grammar
aside, Diesel says Shawn deserves a rematch. McMahon patiently waits
for Diesel to say Shawn will actually *get* a rematch, but finds Diesel
is just staring into space, so he tries a different angle, bringing up
Diesel and Shawn's onetime friendship, and asking if that hadn't
weighed on Diesel's mind during the match. I'd half-expected Diesel to
dismiss that with a "no, why do you ask?", but instead Diesel goes
along with this line of thought, then up and admits he does owe Shawn a
debt of gratitude after all! What the heck? Diesel steers away from
that line of thought by adding that Michaels will, in fact, get his
rematch, then Diesel steers into uncharted waters by giving Michaels a
stern warning: "Sid... is not your friend." And the crowd goes bored.
In summary, Diesel's "friendly" advice to Shawn: on the night of the
rematch, don't bring your American Express card.
Cornette jumps in to actually give us some warning about the matches to
come: Allied Powers (Lex/DBS) vs. Well Dunn, and Blayze vs. Nakano.
Hmm, three name matches in a night, this could be the start of a nice
trend, even if it means so much more work for me...
-- ad break --
Slight pause while we indulge in one of Vince's little fantasies:
high-brow socialites discussing the WWF as if it were opera, or
somesuch. Well, if you gotta dream, dream big, I suppose...
Allied Powers (w/TWO flagbearers) vs. Well Dunn (w/Whippleman)
And two flagbearers ought to be just enough to keep Harvey in check,
too. But alas, they leave the scene, and NATO must rely on the
incompetence of their opposition as their best hope for victory.
For example, Dunn quickly gains the upper hand on Davey Boy, then runs
straight into a military press slam. Well says, hey, that looks like
fun, and rushes right up to Luger to have the same done to him. Davey
Boy clotheslines Dunn. Luger clotheslines Well, out of the ring. Wait
a minute, is this wrestling or H-O-R-S-E? "Whip into the corner, side
suplex, clothesline, dropkick, nothing but net." Smith with the
headbutt on Dunn, then, seeing that Luger is now outside the ring,
Smith promptly tags him back in. Double-team clothesline, cover for 2.
Off the ropes, and Dunn prefers to fall over himself rather than take
an actual shoulderblock from Lex. Lex tries going at it from the side,
and has just as much success as Holly did, though Well is somewhat less
effective than Yokozuna. However, Luger gets himself mentally fixated
on punishing the interferer, and doesn't even see that savant kick
coming from his actual legal opponent. Dunn runs over and tags in Davey
Boy, and while the referee has to explain to the Bulldog for the
hundredth time, it doesn't count unless it's your *partner* who tags
you, Well Dunn execute an aggravated version of the Bossman Sit.
tomps, referee walks up, Dunn was just leaving, and Well covers for 2.
Well with some headblows (he should know that just isn't very
effective on Lex!) and another cover for 2. Well sets up Luger for a
flying cross body block entrance from Dunn... two more. Dunn sends
Luger for the ride, but even Luger can't pass up the present of a face
to plant in the mat. What, a race to tag already? Tag... and tag! Dunn
declines to allow Smith the privilege of being a Flat Afire, so he has
to take it all out on Well: boot, whip, clothesline, whip, back body
drop, whip, powerslam. Now Dunn decides it would be a good time to
enter and make the save. Luger steps in and tells Dunn to run along
and practice his Flair Flops, because it's time for the finisher.
Smith with a sort-of head spike, then tag to Luger. Smith secures a
bearhug on Well, and Luger slaps his forearm. I take it the metal
plate doesn't work unless he does that. Luger bounces off one rope, then
the other, and >clang!< nails Davey Boy right in the back of the head.
Oops, sorry, just wishful thinking. No, instead it is Timothy Well who
takes the full force of the blow, and the three-count is a formality.
It's posedown time, but lucky us, we only have to suffer an
-- ad break --
And the stars line up to just gush over about what a great time they
had at WM XI. And I wondered why I didn't watch the Oscars.
Bull Nakano vs. Alundra Blayze for the WWF Women's Title
McMahon asks those around him if any of them had seen his Cornette, he
was just here a minute ago, but he turned around for a moment and he
was gone. A few moments later, Cornette re-appears with news of next
week's main event: Kid/Holly/Bret vs. Owen/Yoko/Hakushi.
Blayze, meanwhile, is paying no attention whatsoever to anything
relevant, and Nakano does what she has to do, that is, attack. Bull
spikes Alundra's head matward, twice, then takes a seat on a top
turnbuckle. Blayze, spotting an opportunity for some floor exercise,
turns a cartwheel, grabs Bull's head with her feet, then tosses her
matward. Alundra with a whip, but Bull with the clothesline. Out of
the corner, Bull with a hair toss, with such force that Blayze does an
extra 180-spin upon hitting the mat. In case some in the audience
missed that, Bull repeats the move on the other side. Bull with a
stationary clothesline, and the leg drop o' doom. But she's not that
HH guy, so Blayze kicks out at 2. Bull now applies an odd-looking
submission move, a sort of highly-aggravated leg split, with Bull's
full weight on one of the legs for good measure. While Vince and Jim
discuss a possible double dinner date with these two, Alundra manages
to drag it over to the rope. Nakano decides now would be a good time
to see if the reverse chinlock is any more effective if the applier is
sitting on the top turnbuckle. The referee, however, does not take
much of a liking to experimentation of this sort, and so Nakano turns
it into a leggy variation on a bulldog. Nakano tries to follow with
another face spike, but Blayze instead turns a somersault, then uses
Bull's hair to good effect in executing three of head spikes of her own
(which Vince calls "clotheslines", for some reason), and a crescent
kick! Dropkick from the second rope, dropkick from the second rope.
Cover for 2. Alundra Blayze attempts a sunset flip... countered by the
Friar Ferguson Sit. Blayze manages to kick out at two, though, and so
Bull gets to display another exotic submission hold: a standing
figure-four! But wait, that's not all, with her free arm, Bull grabs
Alundra's shirt and pulls her front half up, leaving Blayze suspended
in what Cornette calls "a cross between a bow-and-arrow, a Boston Crab,
and a single-leg figure-four leglock". Whatever it is, I'd like to see
one of the male members of the WWF try it! Cornette defies Jim Ross to
properly call it, while McMahon indulges in a little stab at Piper for
his semi-phantom "I Quit" ruling. The hair pull was a bit too messy
for the referee's liking, though, so the hold had to break. No matter,
Nakano with a piledriver. Cover for 2. Again Nakano takes a seat on
the top turnbuckle, and this time Blayze just dropkicks her off. Well,
maybe not "just", as Alundra climbs topside and jumps on top of the now
floor-bound Bull. They re-enter, and Blayze attempt at a head scissors
goes rather seriously awry, though exactly how was not clear from the
camera angle, anyway another 2-count for Bull. Slam. Another trip to
the top, and, this time standing on the top turnbuckle, Nakano with a
leg drop. Now *that* is what you call a leg drop o' doom. And yet
Blayze kicks out again. An attempt at some sort of bearhug by Nakano
gets turned into a sunset flip that does get Nakano over, but only a
2-count. The attempt at a "Double Feature" does little but get in the
way. Bull misses a clothesline, instead, Blayze gets a German
suplex... for 2. And another... for 2. Blayze, looking wounded, tries
to climb the ropes, but is knocked to the floor before she gets
anywhere. Nakano follows that up with a dive between the ropes. Not
at any target in particular, mind you, just between the ropes and onto
the floor. Blayze takes the opportunity to hit yet another German
suplex, but Cornette, with his sharp eye for detail, notes that they
aren't in the ring, so Blayze is unlikely to score the pinfall that
way. Alundra with a whip, but gets reversed right into the stairs.
Vince gets anxious about a potential countout, but notably, the referee
is not counting. Scoop and a slam, how about topside once more, sure
why not. Nakano with a very impressive looking moonsault of... the mat.
Blayze with her fourth German suplex of the match, and on this one, the
count reaches three.
Herb, if you're listening, TELL me that match wasn't ****+.
-- ad b
Whoa! Someone new has decided to enter the WWF women's division, and
is announcing this decision RIGHT NOW. Cornette isn't even sure the
interloper is a woman. Whoever it is (I'm thinking GLOW-castoff), she
puts rather a hurting to our new WWF women's champion.
-- ad break --
The Event. The Spectacle. The Really Annoying Kid From Full House.
The Drama. The Glory. The Match. And, just so they can call it
"Encore PLUS", the Hot Rod. How much would *you* pay?
-- promotional considerations --
Men Off the Mission vs. Ben Jordan and Tony Roy
Cornette says MOM have "seen the light", which McMahon accepts for what
it is, a segue into an upcoming announcement by "Bowtie" Bob Backlund,
as I guess we're going to be asked to call him now. And from there
it's on to this strange little House Giveaway they hadn't gotten around
to mentioning yet. Since MOM wasted little time in getting the pin,
and no longer feel compelled to waste time with any rap (small favors
again), we can go right on to a shot of the house that is up for grabs,
somewhere near Orlando at a place called Hunter's Creek. Of course, if
you are lucky enough to win this house, you'll of course be grateful
enough to give the WWF a personal endorsement and all that, right? Oh,
and BTW, that's the next PPV, "In Your House", May 14. Off-season? What
Four matches, only one squash, and an interview, and we've still got
time to kill. Well, let's call on Shawn Michaels to fill things out,
-- ad break --
And out they come, Shawn and Sid, looking none the worse for wear, or
defeat. It's the day after, and does McMahon still respect Michaels?
How do you feel, McMahon asks, just making conversation. Michaels,
does not say, "Fine". His back is screaming, he says. Have you tried a
Nuprin, maybe, Shawn? He feels steamrollered. "Diesel-powered?"
Michaels finds Vince a bit less than funny, and not for the first time.
But now Shawn starts wandering into that fuzzy little plane Diesel did
earlier, admitting that, he, too, was weighed down by thoughts of his
onetime friendship with Diesel. What is it with the sudden memory
retentions around here? This is the WWF, for crying out loud! Shawn
mentions a bit unnecessarily that he accepts Diesel's offer of a
rematch, and further, ups the ante by promising a rematch if/when he
does win the belt at said rematch. Awfully sporting of him.
Well now, continues McMahon, that's all well and good, but now, what
about this seven-foot guy you brought along here. Any chance of you
taking Big Daddy Cool's advice on that matter? "I can live my life
just fine without a bodyguard, thank you." The smile begins to fade
from Sid's face. "I don't need a bodyguard, and I certainly don't need
a bodyguard to [hurt the ref and blow the match]." So Michaels asks
Sid, please understand, the day of the rematch, feel free to take the
evening off. Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Michaels, that answer is
incorrect! While Sid goes through the motions of revealing what the
correct answer is, while Vince tries to step in and make a little
peace, and while Cornette cowers in a distant corner, all in all this
would be a pretty lousy time to have to take an
-- ad break --
Michaels is out. This has Sid's footprints all over it, and his foot,
too. Suddenly, Diesel rushes up from behind and starts laying into
Sid!! Sid finds himself quickly on the outside looking in, but none
the worse for wear. "You won't believe what happened!!" shouts McMahon.
You won't find out what happened, either, not until next week, anyway,
though I sure you could hazard a reasonable guess.
Yowza!! I expected something significant to happen tonight, but a
Shawn Michaels face turn was *not* exactly high on my list. And the
ironic thing is, Bam Bam is still waiting for the all clear on his face
turn. Some guys just have priority clearance on these things, I