A Gay Viewers Guide to the 2005 College Football Season

In less than two weeks, the 2005 College Football season will begin. Regular readers of BoiFromTroy will probably roll their eyes as this blog turns its attentions away from being gay gay gay and GOP GOP GOP and becomes more and more about the gridiron?although some might figure that is a good thing.

From my experience, it is easier to find a gay man to go to a meeting of the local Republican club than it is to get one who will go to a Football game. Four years ago, I actually threw away tickets to the USC-Oregon State game because no one was willing to go with me. It was misting that day, after all.

While other blogs and the mainstream media will break down the season into X?s and O?s, and will tell you that the key games this year involve Texas-Ohio State (September 10), Tennesee-Florida (September 17), USC-Oregon (September 24), I have something even better in store?the Gay Guide to College Football. The guidelines are simple: Who are the sport?s best looking players and when are you most likely to see them play on national TV? (All times Eastern)

ncstmarcusstone.jpgSeptember 4: North Carolina State vs. Virginia Tech (7:15 PM, ESPN2)

While most of the nation will tune in on Labor Day Sunday to find out if the Hokies? Marcus Vick is as good as his brother, you?re watching for another Marcus?the Wolfpack?s Marcus Stone. The 6?4?, 220 lb. redshirt Sophomore from Harrisburg, PA is just one of many NC State QBs who could be featured here?and going against VaTech?s defense, it?s possible Stone could be spending a lot of time on his backside to start the season. Oh, and Marcus can spread those legs!

September 10: Notre Dame at Michigan (Noon, ABC).

If you live on the West Coast, there is one good reason to wake up early on this Saturday morning?Brady Quinn. And since the game is in Ann Arbor, you won?t have to worry about NBC?s atrocious college football coverage. The Notre Dame quarterback should have a bad day by all estimations, against the #4 Wolverines?even though Michigan has struggled against the Irish in recent years, Quinn will have to rely on his offensive line more than he relies on an eyebrow waxer if he hopes to pull out the Dubya for the Fighting Irish.

And if all else fails, maybe Wannabeleader will appear in the stands with an ?M? painted on his chest.

briancrum.jpgSeptember 17: Tennessee at Florida (8 PM, probably on CBS).

In 2004, the Volunteers had to outscore their opponents to win games?and had a classic matchup with the Gators. While most of the nation will tune in again for the theatrics or for an early glimpse at whether Urban Meyer?s offense can out-gun an SEC foe, you are watching for the totally ripped linebacker Brian Crum. Woof. If he can penetrate the Vols line, I?ll give even money he?ll be on top of Eric Ainge all evening long.

Thanks to Every Day Should be Saturday for the recommendation.

mattmoore.jpgSeptember 24: Arizona State at Oregon State (10 PM, TBS).

In the good old days this would have been the Pac Ten game of the week?a nightcap for the College Football Saturday on a remote cable hangout. Well, it still is. But you can go to bed having sweet dreams of Beaver quarterback Matt Moore. The former UCLA Bruin tired of competing with golden boy Drew Olson and packed up for Corvallis. Just, um, try not to count sheep if the game gets out of hand. The Sun Devils are supposed to be good this year, while OSU is ?rebuilding? yet again.

weatherfordrixandlee.jpgOctober 1: Syracuse at Florida State (Time and TV TBA).

While for the purposes of watching a good Florida State game, I would normally recommend catching them against Miami on Labor Day, the purpose here is more obvious. Nothing against the starting Seminole QB Xavier Lee (pictured, right)?but we want to see backup Drew Weatherford (left) in action. While neither is as dreamy as Chris Rix (center), who graduated last year, Weatherford?s got the homecoming king good looks…and a body to boot!

danekrogstad.jpgOctober 8: Arizona at Southern Cal (Time and TV TBA, Probably Fox Sports Net).

Of course you knew the Trojans would be on this viewers? guide, but pay no attention to Matt Leinart tossing the ball to Dwayne Jarrett, Patrick Turner and Steve Smith. You want to watch as Reggie Bush and Lendale White carry the ball?because that is when Arizona Wildcat Dane Krogstad linebacker will make or break his team?s day. Dane moves to the position fresh this year, as a former tight end?so I guess you could say he is versatile.

dallassartz42.jpgOctober 15: Southern Cal at Notre Dame (2:30 PM, NBC).

Mute your TV and listen to the radio broadcast of the nation?s greatest intersectional rivalry, live from South Bend this year. Take your eyes off Brady Quinn when the Irish have the ball, though, because today, you?re looking out for the Trojans? #42?the 6?5? middle linebacker Dallas Sartz.

Unfortunately both he and Quinn will be wearing jerseys this Saturday, so you?ll have to stick with BoiFromTroy for the eye candy?and watch the television to find out whether the Men of Troy can keep the shillelagh in So Cal?or more likely, whether the Irish can do any better than losing by 31 points for a fourth year in a row!

brodiecroyle.jpgOctober 22: Tennessee at Alabama (Time and TV TBA, probably CBS)

If you didn?t develop a crush on one of Tennessee?s talented quarterbacks watching the Vols tackle Florida, turn your attentions to the Tide?s QB who makes us queasy, Brodie Croyle.

Like another Alabaman, he?s got that Southern charm and down-home good looks that makes us want to scream, ?Roll Tide!? before taking a roll in the hay.

NC_MattBaker.jpgOctober 29: North Carolina at Miami (Time and TV TBA).

Last year, the Tarheels of North Carolina upended the Hurricanes. Most people will be watching to see if they can do it again?this time as they visit the Orange Bowl.

You?re watching for Sr. Tarheel QB Matt Baker.


ErikAinge.jpgNovember 5: Tennessee at Notre Dame (2:30 PM, NBC)

Thanks to Notre Dame?s exclusive contract with NBC, you?ll be certain to be able to catch the Volunteers as they travel to South Bend this year?no matter where you live. You?re tuning in for a battle of quarterbacks?though again, this time it does not involve the Irish?s dreamy Brady Quinn.

No, you want to see Sophomore QB Eric Ainge, who last year was part of a QB tandem that led the Vols all the way to the Cotton Bowl?which used to be a big deal when I was Ainge?s age.

chrisleak.jpgNovember 12: South Carolina at Florida (Time and TV TBA, probably on CBS)

This is a big game for the rest of the College Football fans because former Florida Coach Steve Spurrier returns to the Swamp as coach of the Gamecocks. You?re tuning in to watch Gator QB Chris Leak, who by now has learned Urban Meyer?s spread offense, as he lights up the South Carolina defense?providing the Cocks are unable to penetrate Florida?s O-Line.

November 19: Oklahoma at Texas Tech (Time and TV TBA).

john-saldi.jpgThe Red Raiders finish up their season against the returning Big XII Champion Oklahoma Sooners. While the excitement for most will come from the Red Raiders Run and Gun, Root ?Em Shoot ?Em offense, the other side of the ball is where you?ll find hottie Outside Linebacker John Saldi, who will try to contain 2004 Heisman Trophy finalist Adrian Peterson of the Sooners. When the Red Raiders have the ball, look for WR Danny Amendola, who we hear has the girls swooning all over.

jaxsonappel.jpgNovember 25: Texas at Texas A&M (12:00 PM, ABC)

You?ve slept off the turkey long enough to find out if Texas can sneak in to the Big XII Championship game and, god forbid, another Rose Bowl.

Actually, you don?t care about that. You just want to see Aggie Safety Jaxson Appel intercept a few errant Vince Young passes?and lord knows he?ll have plenty of chances because, well, Vince is not known for his passing accuracy.

Appel could become a folk hero among Aggiues if he managed to knock off the Horns with an INT or two this year.

spencerhavner.jpgDecember 4: UCLA at USC (4:30 PM, ABC)

The nation?s greatest inner-city rivalry means you get to double-dip with a trio of hot, hot hot linebackers! In the first half, check out UCLA linebacker and Butkis award candidate Spencer Havner.

Butt. Kiss. Heh?

Although the Bruins put a scare into the Trojans last year, hopefully by the second half, USC will be playing freshmen linebacker Brian Cushing.



16 Responses to “A Gay Viewers Guide to the 2005 College Football Season”

  1. Val Says:

    Great rundown!

    I’m a Tennessee fan who hates Alabama, but even I have a crush on Brodie Croyle.

  2. Andrew K Says:

    That’s the worst picture of Jaxson Appel I’ve seen. He’s way better looking than that.

    Also, I recommend you take a look at Louisville QB, Brian Brohm. Louisville is a very legit team in a bad conference, and Brian’s got a mug to make Matt Damon jealous.


  3. Donald Says:

    I can not wait for football season. My partner is not a big football fan but he tries bless his heart. The comments he makes during the game are really funny some time. His favorite part of the game is in the beginning when they show everyones close up photo and then the occasional hot male cheer leader on the side. But after putting up with me of 21 years he is kind of used to it.

    We are Penn State!!!

  4. aka frank Says:

    you forgot Auburn’s Brandon Cox…


  5. Heath Says:

    This is good damn research.

  6. Heath Says:

    This is good damn research.

  7. PHDinNYC4Dems Says:

    Great pics. Here’s a raging liberal gay man in evil new york city who loves college football. On no…may your world not implode. Have fun when the crazy extremist republicans make it illegal for guys to have pictures of hot shirtless guys on their websites. Go GOP!!!

  8. Josh Says:

    This is good damn research—but I still don’t know why anyone would want to go to a Republican club. What do they do there, read the stock ticker together? Plot senseless invasions? Pray to Jesus?


  9. NYC Aesthete Says:

    All my straight friends get a kick out of watching this gay NYC boy go crazy for college football (and basketball for that matter). Being a Louisville fan, I have a lot to go crazy for! Go Cards!

  10. Cockfan Says:

    Thanks for pointing those guys out. It’s really fun keeping your eye on several players thoughout the year that play for other teams. We all know there are several out there that were not mentioned, but I would like to point out two. They were cornfed in Alabama but they play for South Carolina. They are the Lindsey twins (Dustin and Jordin) You can find some decent pictures at gamecocksportsplus.com under the media section. Their numbers are 40 and 41.

  11. Rocco Says:

    Typical fag trying to “follow sports”…How can’t you mention the OSU-UT game? That will pretty much decide who is playing USC in the national championship…and no picture of Matt Lienhart or Brian Leonard? Lame……….

  12. jimbo Says:

    Sept. 3: Maryland Terrapins vs. Navy, featuring woofy Terps quarterback Sam Hollenbach, who replaces Senior quarterback Joel Statham this year.




    I’m a Hollenbach Gurl.

  13. michael Says:

    Checkout Peyton Hillis from The University of Arkansas, what a hunk…………

  14. david b Says:

    Notre Dame finally has a hottie QB — where am I? Twenty years early I guess.

    One more reason to watch — isn’t there a locker roon cam somewhere?

  15. xanthous Says:

    Notre Dame finally has a hottie QB — where am I? Twenty years early I guess.

    One more reason to watch — isn’t there a locker roon cam somewhere?

  16. letsgocats Says:

    Thanks to Boi for the difficult, tedious research here!

    As much as the idea of Brady Quinn shirtless is extremely exciting, that’s not the best picture of him.

    I was in a Boston bar two weeks ago with a bisexual friend and another huge CFB fan (of the four biggest CFB fans I know, two are gay, one is bi and the other is my sister). An interview with Quinn came on ESPN, showing over my shoulder, and I almost came, so to speak, right there. My friend, who’d seen it before me, laughed and said, “I knew the minute I saw that guy you’d be thrilled.” WOOOOOOOOOOF! But he’s MUCH cuter than that shirtless pic. I might even become a N*** D*** fan — well, maybe not, but …

    Now, a shirtless pic of that UNC QB … Momma Mia. That’s the new Holy Grail of the CFB season! And that USC linebacker gets my No. 2 vote.

    As for the “Hollenbach gurl” above, my newspaper covered him in high school (sadly, not me in person) and we have a big story about him today’s (25 Aug.) newspaper.

    In the suggestion department: Wisconsin QB John Stocco, Minnesota QB Bryan Cupito, Northwestern QB Brett Basanez and Penn State kicker Kevin Kelly.

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