Confession is Good for the Soul
by Xraycat
Category: Discipline
Rating: R for violence and language
Disclaimer: They belong to Chris, I'm not making any profit
Synopsis: Mulder regrets his actions, and bares his soul.
Notes: Thanks to all the faithful readers. I know you're reading even though you don't write. There's a hit counter on my page.
Distraught. The word distraught could easily describe Fox Mulder's current emotional state. Fox wasn't thinking in these terms, he felt guilt and confusion.
Walter Skinner was the only person he wanted to talk to. The only person that could possibly help. Unfortunately, Walter Skinner was out of town. Fox had left messages with the hotel desk, but Walter hadn't returned his calls. Fox tried the hotel number again. There was still no answer to Walter's room, Fox felt like crying. He fell into an uneasy sleep, the phone still sitting on his chest. The ringing woke him Fox grabbed the handset like a lifeline, "Hello, Walter?"
The desperation in his voice was painful to hear, "Fox? What's wrong? There were a dozen messages for me when I get back to the hotel. All from you," Walter didn't want to hear what Fox was going to say. He knew it was bad. Fox Mulder never caalled unless it was a national emergency.
"Walter....," broken sobbing. Fox fought to control his tears, "I need to see you. When can you come home?" When he'd heard Walter's voice, Fox lost what was left of his composure.
"Fox, what's wrong, son?" Warning bells sounded in Walter's head. Has something happened to Dana? Fox's mother had been ill recently, "Fox, is it your mom? Is something wrong with your mother? Tell me, Fox!"
"Can you come home, please? I need to see you, talk to you. I feel so bad....I need you to come home," Fox pleaded.
Walter tried to regain control of the conversation, "Fox! Stop crying. Tell me what's wrong. Right now! I can't help you until I know what's happened."
"I've screwed up, Walter. I've fucked up so bad. I need you to fix things. Please, come home. Please?" Fox was no longer forming coherent sentences.
"Fox, I'm going to the airport right now. Will you please concentrate? Is something wrong with Dana? Is she all right?" Walter was ready to panic.
"Scully's okay. Mom's okay," Mulder answered woodenly. "No one is hurt or dead...no thanks to me. I fucked up again, Walter. I've damn near ruined Scully, but she pulled my ass out of the ringer, again." More ragged breathing, "Come home."
Walter sighed heavily. "Fox, wait an hour and then drive to my place. Wait in the parking garage. I'll be there as quickly as I can. Do not go anywhere else. If you are *not* there when I get home, I'm going to be very angry. Do you understand?"
"I understand. I'll be there. I'm sorry, sir." Relief was evident in his voice, "I..I'm sorry."
Walter had been expecting this. Fox was in trouble and regretted it. Since their agreement, Fox had been much more responsible. He honestly tried to obey orders. Walter hadn't needed to punish Fox for quite a while. Fox had been good for too long. It was time for a relapse. Problem was, Fox had developed a conscience. He felt guilty now, when he screwed up. Evidently, he'd pulled some typical Mulder behavior and felt the need to confess. Walter was quite willing to listen. Walter was fair with Fox, but when punishment was required he didn't shirk his responsibility.
The first time Walter had punished Fox Mulder, he had bent Fox across his knee for a spanking. He'd lowered the young agent's trousers and hand spanked Mulder's bare behind. It proved very effective. Humiliation was the point Walter wanted to make, more than the physical pain. Mulder had behaved himself for a long time. He had received another spanking from Maggie Scully, about a week later. That was a story that Walter loved hearing over and over. Particularly if Fox was the one telling it.
Walter assumed that today's incident would require corporal punishment as well. Fox would not call him, unless there was going to be serious repercussions.
Walter didn't want to think about that. His superior officers thought that Mulder was a crackpot and a detriment to the Bureau. Walter knew Fox to be an excellent investigator. His solve rate was one of the highest in the Bureau. When following the truth, Mulder was relentless. He just needed discipline. Walter had been diligent with Fox in this regard. They still didn't see eye to eye in every situation, but Fox had finally learned to trust Walter.
Walter flashed his badge at the airport to speed things along. Rank did have its privileges. The flight was uneventful and the D.C. airport was not too crowded. He was in his car and on the highway within fifteen minutes.
Walter pulled into the parking garage two hours after hanging up the phone. He saw Fox Mulder leaning against his car, waiting. *Mulder, what kind of shit have you stirred up this time?* Walter pulled into the space next to Fox, got out of the car and handed Mulder his bag, "Hold this." He turned his back on the younger man and locked his car. As he walked toward the building's entrance, "Are you coming?"
"Yes sir, right behind you," Fox followed Walter like a well trained pup. They didn't speak again until inside Skinner's apartment.
"Well, Fox. Just what do you have to say for yourself?" Walter was trying to appear angry. He knew Fox expected it. Besides, before this story was over, he wouldn't be trying. He'd be very angry.
Fox blushed, "I'm so sorry. Yesterday I heard from a source. He knows about a particular investigation that I have been pursuing. He claimed that the proof
I needed was contained in the computer files of the State Department." Mulder took a deep breath before going on. "Scully was with me when I took the call.
She insisted that I take a pass on this, sir. She's not responsible in any way. It's my fault. I want you to know that," he blurted the last in a rush.
Walter stood and rubbed his forehead. He removed his jacket and loosened his tie. After resuming his seat, he sighed, "Continue."
"Well, to make a long story short, I used the passwords that my source provided and hacked into the State Department's system. The security there is fantastic, by the way. About forty-five minutes after I logged on to their mainframe, two State Department agents were pounding on my door. Scully handcuffed me and pulled her badge and gun. When she opened the door, the State guys thought they had interrupted an arrest in progress. Scully weaved them a yarn about internal leaks. How I had been under scrutiny for sometime and she had managed to catch me red-handed. They bought it, but they are going to make a full report that will hit your desk tomorrow morning," Mulder glanced at Walter's face, trying to gauge his reaction. "They took Scully's name and badge number to include in their report. They're expecting a faxed copy of the arrest sheet for their records," this last part mumbled, barely audible. Fox didn't look at his supervisor.
Walter was trying to contain his fury, "So what you're saying is: That you broke into classified government files, against Agent Scully's direct order. When caught, Agent Scully aided and abetted you by faking your arrest and lying to federal agents. Is that all, Agent Mulder?" Walter's head was starting to ache.
"Not quite, sir," Mulder stole another quick glance at his boss. "We all went down to booking, Scully took the other agents' statements for inclusion in the report she claimed to be filing. She and I waited in an interrogation room until the State boys left. Then we went back to her apartment. But first, we hid the statements in a safety deposit box at her bank." Fox had both arms wrapped around his middle, like he was in pain, "Sir, please don't blame Scully. She was only trying to help. She's scared to death. If anyone loses a job over this, it should be me, sir. Don't let anything happen to Scully. It's not her fault," Fox was near tears again.
Walter stood up and began to pace. "Fox, how many times have I told you?" What's it going to take to get through your thick skull? You have committed a felony, incriminated your partner, and both of you have committed perjury!" Walter grabbed two handfuls of Fox's shirt, and pulled him to his feet. "Now, you expect *me* to fix it! To make it just go away!" He shook the miserable young man, then shoved him into his chair. "I should let the State Department have you. I don't need this kind of aggravation." He glared at Fox's stricken face, and relented, "If it wasn't for Agent Scully, that is exactly what I would do! I don't want to see her career ruined, so I guess I have to save your sorry ass along with her."
Fox collapsed against the back of his chair with relief, "Yes sir, whatever you say." He smiled, then quickly sobered, "What do you suggest we do, sir?"
"Right now?" Skinner nailed Fox with a murderous glance, "What do you think, Fox?"
Fox's body stilled, "I think, right now, you should punish me." He was frightened but ready to accept the consequences for his actions.
Walter was pleased by Fox's response, but had no intention of letting the cowed agent know, "You're right. Punishment is definitely in order." Walter stepped back to give Fox some room, "Stand up, son. Take off your belt and give it to me," Walter held out his hand, palm up.
Fox got up and unbuckled his belt. As the leather snaked from his pants, the sound made him shiver. He placed the beelt in Skinner's hand, without looking up from the floor.
"Go to the couch, take off your jeans and shorts. Bend over the couch arm," Walter ordered. "Lay your head on the cushion and hold on. You will not move from this position. Understood?"
"Yes sir," Fox announced breathlessly. He followed Skinner's orders exactly. Fox was still unable to meet Walter's gaze. He turned his head, so he faced the back of the couch. "I'm sorry, sir," his words were muffled by the cushions.
"Sorry doesn't help, son," Walter stood by Fox's legs and doubled the belt. He asked, "Fox? Why did you call me? What makes this so different from all the other messes I've had to clean up? I expect an honest answer."
Fox's body heaved once, "I'm not sure, sir. I realized that I had let you down. I couldn't stand the thought of you being disappointed in me...I don't want you to give up on me, sir. It seemed so important that I tell you myself. I don't want anything bad to happen to Scully, either. Just because I did something stupid."
"Son, I think you're finally learning," Walter brought Fox's belt down hard across the upturned ass. "Of course, this will also help you to remember." Walter was relentless. He striped Fox from the small of his back to the bend of his knees, at least thirty times.
He didn't hit hard enough to break the skin but the welts would last several days. Mulder held his position. His knuckles were white from his death grip on the couch.
"Get up and get dressed," Walter wanted to comfort Fox, but remained aloof. Fox needed to understand that accepting punishment didn't automatically make the problem go away, "I need too get on the phone. Right now. Go home. Stay there. Consider yourself confined to quarters until you hear from me. Don't come to work tomorrow. You won't be able to sit down any way. I'll have you scheduled for a sick day."
Fox nodded and headed for the door. Walter stopped him, "Don't call Agent Scully, I'll take care of that. After today, I am going to rethink my decision about showing her the video. I can't be around all the time. Someone has got to be the voice of reason. That person must also have the ability to prevent this kind of irresponsible behavior on your part."
Fox's eyes were the size of silver dollars, "Oh, please don't tell Scully!" He ran his hand through his hair, "You won't give her permission to punish me too!" Mulder swallowed, "Will you?"
"I haven't decided yet," Walter stated. "I guess it depends on how many favors this little fiasco costs me." He smiled for the first time. "I wouldn't worry, son. There's no way little Dana Scully can hit you as hard as I do."
End