The DC Gossip
WASHINGTON, DC, 11:44 AM, WED FEB 6
62 POSTS IN THE LAST 24 HOURS | RSS
EDITED BY KEN LAYNE | tips@wonkette.com
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Paultards Preparing Convention Coup

So. Ron Paul wins nothing, ever. Fortunately — according to our dear friends at Ron Paul Forums — every delegate will exercise his or her right to vote for Ron Paul at the convention. more »

11:35 AM ON WED FEB 6 2008
BY JIM NEWELL
19 views, 2 comments

She has just been told that children are, in fact, the future women voters

Chelsea Clinton Is Mean To 9-Year-Old Girls

Hillary trots out her daughter on the campaign trail to convert younger voters, and what happens? A 9-year-old reporter for Scholastic News has the temerity to ask if Bill would make a good “first man,” and Chelsea tells her “I’m sorry, I don’t talk to the press, and that applies to you, unfortunately.” Stay classy! [WSJ]

10:47 AM ON WED FEB 6 2008
BY SARA K. SMITH
593 views, 37 comments

OK THIS IS NOT SO FUNNY: Tornadoes kill at least 45 people across the South. [New York Times]

21 comments

Is he ready to pack it in? the road to nowhere

Romney Possibly Rethinking This Whole Thing

Mitt Romney is a savvy businessman with executive experience — that’s why he lost nearly every state primary last night to a broken old man and some guy named “Huckabee.” Today, the Mormon heartthrob will be applying his robust analytical skills to deciding whether or not he should blow another $35 million on his doomed campaign. [CNN]

10:15 AM ON WED FEB 6 2008
BY SARA K. SMITH
530 views, 29 comments

crappy hour

How About We Settle This Over Rock, Paper, Scissors Already?

FROM JEZEBEL.COM: Perhaps, dear readers, you're wondering why no one on cable news seems to be telling you what the result of last night's 92 "Super Tuesday" primaries actually mean. BECAUSE THEY MEAN NOTHING. Hillary Clinton won the jackpot states, but Obama won more delegates -- maybe. more »

10:00 AM ON WED FEB 6 2008
BY MOE
3,765 views, 245 comments

Somebody is definitely getting laid tonight libertarian romance

A Valentine's Gift For The Paultard Who Has Everything

Ron Paul, presidential frontrunner and our nation’s last surviving delegate to the Constitutional Convention, signed a copy of his favorite publication and now it is available for purchase on the eBay. Bidding for a Ron Paul-autographed Constitution was at $26 at time of writing. Not sold? What if the seller were to throw in a mysterious “free gift” of some sort, a precious bauble of divine origin? more »

9:45 AM ON WED FEB 6 2008
BY SARA K. SMITH
522 views, 20 comments

HELLO DARKNESS, MY OLD FRIEND: The recession is officially here. Tax cuts tax cuts tax cuts, now and forever! [CNN Money]

14 comments

Rudy Giuliani, elected Emperor of Florida six weeks ago one man, one vote

Our National Voting Shame: Nobody Knows When To Do This Crap

Awesome Tuesday has turned into Hungover Wednesday. As we sit in our easy chairs with comically large ice packs held to our skulls, let’s remember one important thing: however empty-brained and regretful we feel today, we can still take heart that we are smarter than thousands of morons across this great nation. Because as Walnut King John McCain might say, my friends, my friends, the Super Tuesday voting confusion did not end with the states of Texas and Washington. Who are the country’s stupidest voters? Click the clicky and we’ll join you after the jump. more »

8:55 AM ON WED FEB 6 2008
BY SARA K. SMITH
2,220 views, 22 comments

Latest by rhubarbpie: "This nominating process is starting to look like "Knocked Up," but not nearly as funny, and much, much longer." Except that of course Knocked Up wasn't all that funny...felt like a good 9 months to me, actually. About the same amount more »

Daily Briefing

When Everyone Wins, America Loses

8:19 AM ON WED FEB 6 2008
BY GREG WASSERSTROM
209 views, 14 comments

Latest by WIDTAP: So Caroline Kennedy, Maria Shriver and Oprah Winfrey endorse Obama, and the geniuses in Barry's campaign decide that Ted Kennedy's endorsement will help shore up his number's with women? Barry, dude. Just a hint. They don't like being ignored. It really, more »

Love, soft as an easy chair endless bummer

The Latest Delegate Projections: Obama 841, Clinton 837

So much for resolving anything on Super Duper Stupid Tuesday. Chuck Todd is on the MSNBC right now, doing the modern-day Tim Russert act of scribbling on a computer tablet instead of the dry-erase board popularized in the previous century. And guess what? This is all pretty much a grim $100-million stalemate. more »

2:40 AM ON WED FEB 6 2008
BY KEN LAYNE
3,399 views, 51 comments

blah blah blah (click) (boom)

Empires Rise, Fall And Still Obama Speaks

Barry Obama gave the longest speech of his political career tonight, and it was all about the wind in the corn and “who are these boys who have so little?” Watch all 20 minutes and feel your love for Barack F. Kennedy slowly draining away like a whispering Iowa cornfield filled with the hopes and dreams of Americans. YES WE CAN!

12:51 AM ON WED FEB 6 2008
BY SARA K. SMITH
7,875 views, 28 comments

HILLARY WINS CALIFORNIA! She’s got 55% right now, with a grand 15% of precincts reporting. Obama’s got 33%. John McCain has won, too! He beat Romney by 20%! Sorry, Obama babies: MSNBC has just projected it for Hitlery!

84 comments

super tuesday hope speak

Barry's Giving A, You Know, Very OK Speech!

Barack’s giving a speech — will it be good or his usual robotic so-so crap? Grandma’s watching in the Africaland, Barry. more »

12:02 AM ON WED FEB 6 2008
BY JIM NEWELL
1,318 views, 15 comments

Obama Five Oh not quite a victory speech

Obama's Super Tuesday Super Speech!

Change is coming! Our time has come! Yes we can! Votes aren’t quite counted! House divided cannot stand! Winston tastes good like a cigarette should! Began as a whisper! Corn fields of Iowa! Teachers, cooks, hills of Nevada! Voices of the American People! Maybe we don’t have to be divided by the race and the gender! Crumbling schools! Not this time! Yes we can! Stakes Too High! Washington Players!

11:54 PM ON TUE FEB 5 2008
BY KEN LAYNE
1,307 views, 34 comments

super torture tuesday

John McCain Wants You To Get Used To The Idea That He's The Nominee

McCain is back! Or, “Mac is back.” He speaks now to tell you he will never forget how you all pretty much abandoned him last year, and only grudgingly came back to support him when the other candidates all flamed out so terribly. Also, why does McCain always thank “my children who could not be here”? How many children does he have? more »

11:45 PM ON TUE FEB 5 2008
BY KEN LAYNE
739 views, 10 comments

PROHJECKSHINSSS: It is at least 7:44 a.m., in the morning, right now, and we’re still typing about politics. Why, Mormon Jesus? Why??!? WONKETTE ANGRRRY. Oh yes, the point of this post: Hillary wins Missouri! That was a close one between her and Barry, because… fuck them both. [The Page]

10 comments

Too late to feel sorrow Too late to feel pain He's just an old hobo Lost out in the rain hairface

Will Make Political Commentaries For Food

Since dropping out of the presidential race, Bill Richardson has joined the Wobblies and hit the road with his bindle and harmonica. See him talking through his fashionable hobo beard, after the jump! more »

11:27 PM ON TUE FEB 5 2008
BY SARA K. SMITH
961 views, 18 comments

california dreaming

California Liveblogging: No Sleep 'Til Guam!

Hello friends of the West! Our polls just closed. It’s time to hear Chris Matthews and Wolf Blitzer tell us about our new presidents of the Bear Republic of California. WHO WILL WIN???? Let’s do the liveblogging, if Hillary will ever shut up over in New York City. Obama has Alabama, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Utah, Illinois, etc. Hillary got Tennessee, New Jersey, New York, etc., who cares, it’s Californication Time! more »

11:15 PM ON TUE FEB 5 2008
BY KEN LAYNE
2,258 views, 95 comments