It's time once again...no dammit that's not it!!!! Wrong gimmick!!! Well
here's the deal, I wanna use a Cal Venis intro every week to my Smackdown
reports. What I want is for the readers out there to send me original quotes
using the Big Calbowski every week to my email and I will use the best one
each week as an intro crediting the person who sent it in. You won't get any
prize or anything, but you will get to see your name in print. Remember send
it to firstname.lastname@example.org. Enough babbling, it's Smackdown time.
WWF Smackdown 12/23/99
Mankind is in the backstage holding a meeting with all the wrestlers. He's
addressing the McMahon/Helmsley era and knows that everyone doesn't like it.
Mankind says Matt Hardy has a broken cheekbone and broken nose. He addresses
Test's broken nose. What happened to Mae Young was uncalled for. He says
the Holiday Topless Over The Top Match was unnecessary other than to see how
much cleavage we can see. Mankind says we're not gonna take it anymore.
Stephanie comes in and breaks up the meeting. She says it's now the McMahon
era. Test will face the Road Dogg. The Rock will face Al Snow in a cage.
Mankind will get a title shot tonight against the Big Show and just to show
that she has no alliance to Triple H, he will be suspended 15 feet in the air
in a cage. Also, Test, the Hardy Boyz and Edge and Christian will have roles
in that match as well.
Smackdown kicks off in Dallas with the Y2J countdown. The IC champ comes out
to a huge pop. Jericho says there's nothing jolly about Bob Holly's
Christmas after he gets done with him. He's gonna deck the halls with the
WWF Intercontinental Championship Match
Hardcore Holly vs. Chris Jericho
Jericho gets the early control chopping Holly in the corner. Holly takes the
momentum quickly with a dropkick. Holly is stomping Jericho down. Jericho
with forearms to Holly. Holly rakes Jericho in the eyes and executes a
suplex. Holly mounts the ropes, Jericho pushes him and Holly gets crotched.
Jericho attempts a superplex, Holly pushes him off and tries to jump him, but
gets a boot to the face. Jericho attempts the cover and Holly puts his foot
on the ropes. Jericho with a bulldog and delivers a baseball slide to Crash.
Jericho puts on the Walls of Jericho and Crash comes in to deck him with the
IC Title. Chyna comes out to Jericho's aid sending Crash over the top rope.
Jericho throws Hardcore over the ropes. Y2J retains the IC title via DQ.
Jericho is shocked and has no idea what Chyna is doing.
The New Age Outlaws are conferring with Triple H about Stephanie and said
that he should be the one going for the title.
WWF Slam Cam Slam of the Week is footage from the Big Show/Kane title match
Jerry Lawler says he knows why X-Pac was wearing that mistletoe belt.
Stephanie is in the back with Kane asking for protection for the night. She
says Kane can have X-Pac on Monday night in any kind of match he wants.
Stephanie tells Kane to think about what X-Pac is doing to Tori. Kane takes
the responsibility of protecting Stephanie.
Rikishi Phatu vs. Viscera
Rikishi comes out and Taz's symbol is shown on the ovaltron. Cole and Lawler
recap the match at Armeggeddon Rikishi/Viscera vs. the Hollys. The two brawl
early and the battle spills to the outside. Rikishi's face goes into the
announce table twice and is thrown back in the ring. Viscera with a
clothesline and a big splash. Ref goes to count and Viscera gets up.
Viscera goes for another big splash and Rikishi moves. Viscera is squashed
in the corner. Rikishi tries to body slam Viscera and but loses his balance
and falls. Viscera misses Rikishi in the corner and is met with a super
kick. Rikishi delivers the Rikishi drop and gets the victory. Too Cool
comes out and the crowd cheers for them to dance. The crowd is treated to a
dance celebration by Too Cool and Rikishi.
Test is in the back talking to Kane and Stephanie. Test doesn't buy any of
what she's doing and she said he will when DX doesn't interfere. Test leaves
for his match.
Jonathan Coachman is interviewing The Rock. The Rock cuts him off while the
crowd cheers him. Finally the Rock has come back to Dallas. He takes a look
back at the great things that have happened in history. Benjamin Franklin
discovers electricity. Neil Armstrong walking on the moon. The Rock raising
the People's Eyebrow and became the People's Champion. The worst of it all
was Mrs. Snow giving birth to Al Snow. It took 3 jabronis to beat him on
Raw, but this is The Rock's show. He's gonna layeth the smacketh down on his
candy ass inside of the People's Cage. He's gonna deliver the People's Elbow
to Al Snow and wish him a Merry Christmas. If you smell la la la la......you
know the rest.
Test vs. Road Dogg
The Road Dogg comes out. Cole and Lawler recap the attack on Test last week
including the rebreaking of Test's nose. The Road Dogg welcomes Dallas to
the Dog House. Test comes out in a protective mask and rushes right into the
ring prompting the Road Dogg to slide out. Road Dogg gets back in and Test
mounts an early offense. Test with a boot to the Road Dogg and he falls
outside. The D-O-Double G is getting pummeled outside, but throws Test into
the ring steps. The Road Dogg goes right after the nose. The battle goes
back to the inside. Triple H and Mr. Ass are watching in the back. The Road
Dogg tries to jump Test from the top rope and is met with a boot to the face.
Test regains the offense and executes a gut wrench power bomb. The Road
Dogg with the Juke N Jive, but misses the last punch. Test with a Pump
Handle Powerslam doggy style. Test goes up top and delivers an elbow for the
victory. Test goes outside and gets a chair. Road Dogg leaves and Test goes
after him. Officials hold him back.
Triple H and Mr. Ass are leaving the locker room to go have a conference with
Kane and Stephanie are in the back and Triple H comes in with the New Age
Outlaws. Kane goes to attack, but Stephanie holds him back. Stephanie says
that Kane will get Mr. Ass tonight. Triple H talks to Stephanie and says
he's gone too far. Stephanie says the sex is great, but business and
business. He says that she can't let seven guys eat him alive. Stephanie
says there's nothing she can do, but...she leaves. She comes in with cops to
make sure he stays in his locker room. Triple H continues to argue. He is
taken out of the room by cops.
Kurt Angle comes out to heel heat. Someone has a sign that says "Kurt Angle
go back to Russia." Angle asks people to hold their applause. He loves
coming to Texas because they are known for their intensity and their
integrity, but unfortunately lack intelligence. The crowd boos him and he
says it doesn't necessarily involve Dallas. He says if they work at it they
could be known for their intelligence.
Kurt Angle vs. Edge
Edge comes out to a good pop and goes right to hanmmering Angle. Angle with
a Fireman's carry take over. Edge with 2 arm drags and a drop kick. Edge
attempts a double axe handle from the top. Angle catches him and executes a
belly to belly suplex. The momentum is now with Angle. Edge with a side
Russian leg sweep. Angle misses a clothesline and is met with a super kick.
Angle attempts a Frankensteiner and gets power bombed. Edge tries to jump
Angle from the top. Angle gets out of the way and Edge lands on his feet.
Edge with a DDT. Angle gets crotched on the turnbuckle. Edge misses the
spear on Angle and hits the ref. Blackman is on his way to the ring.
Blackman clocks Edge with a kendo stick. Angle hits his finisher and remains
Blackman is in the back talking with Kane and Stephanie. She's upset that he
interfered. The Rock is shown walking in the back to the ring.
Al Snow is shown in the back talking to Stephanie. He says beating The Rock
on Monday and he should be the number one contender. Al complains that Mick
is getting a title shot tonight. Stephanie says that he doesn't have to yell
and if he beats the Rock tonight, he'll get a shot Monday. She tells him to
go do it.
Cole and Lawler recap the Brahma Bull Rope match from Raw.
Steel Cage Match
The Rock vs. Al Snow
Al Snow comes out first and gives Head to the official. The Rock's music
starts playing to a huge pop. Snow goes right after the Rock on the ramp.
Snow tastes steel early. Snow and The Rock are slugging it out on the
outside. The Rock misses a chair shot. Snow throws the Rock face first in
the cage and misses a chair shot. The Rock decks him and Snow gets in the
ring. The Rock follows with the Steel Cage and the match officially starts.
The Rock is battering Snow on the ground. Snow is getting pummelled in the
corner. The Rock is knocked down. Snow attempts to get out. The Rock pulls
him down and pummels him in the corner. The Rock with a swinging
neckbreaker. Snow goes for the chair and rams the Rock in the gut. Snow
tries to go up the cage again. The Rock tries to bring Snow back in the
cage. The Rock gets elbowed. Snow with a crazed look on his face and tries
to jump the Rock. The Rock hits him in the gut and delivers a DDT. The Rock
goes for a cover, but Snow kicks out. The Rock tries to get out, but Snow
crotches him on the top rope. Snow hits The Rock with a chair and goes for
the cover. The Rock kicks out at 2. Snow goes up once again to try to get
out of the cage. He is outside the cage now hanging on the top. The Rock
climbs up and brings Snow back in by his hair. The Rock throws Snow face
first into the top 3 times and delivers a side suplex from the top. Both men
are down. The Rock blocks a right hand and delivers some of his own. Snow
rakes the Rock in the eyes and pounds him down in the corner. Snow sets up a
chair to jump on. Snow runs up to the chair and gets clotheslined in the
air. Snow with a low blow to the Rock. The Rock with a spine buster on the
chair. The Rock delivers the People's Elbow and gets the 3 count for the
victory. Looks like no title shot for Al on Monday.
Ivory is in the back talking with the women and is talking about the women
actually getting back in the ring to actually wrestle in it. Luna says she's
worked too hard for the women to be in pudding and gravy bowl matches. Ivory
says they have to do something to save the women's division.
Ivory comes out to a huge pop. She says every time she comes out she has to
talk about these. She points to her breasts. Ivory says this is sports
entertainment and not adult entertainment. She says she is the women's
wrestling champion and not Miss Kitty. Miss Kitty is called out and Ivory
says let's wrestle with any stipulation. The Kat comes out in a Santa outfit
accompanied by Chyna. She tries to drag Chyna into the ring, but Chyna tells
her to go. The Kat takes the mic and asks about anything goes. She wants a
no DQ, no count out match. The Kat says Ivory's got it.
WWF Women's Championship Anything Goes Match
The Kat vs. Ivory
The Kat goes outside the ring. Chyna whispers something in her ear and jumps
in the ring. Ivory is very intimidated while the crowd chants Chyna. Chyna
catches Ivory's right hand and clotheslines her. Chyna with a pedigree and
rolls Ivory over. The Kat gets in the ring and covers Ivory for the victory
retaining the Women's title.
The Mean Street Posse are shown in the back with Kaientai. They give tips to
Kaientai advice on how to beat Jeff Hardy and Christian. The Posse thinks
they're Chinese, but Kaintai tells them they're Japanese. Pete Gas tells
them to relax and get chopsticks with a bowl of rice. Well looks like
Kaientai decided to speak English.
Christian and Jeff Hardy vs. Kaientai
Christian comes out from the audience to a huge pop. Jeff Hardy comes out
with Terri to a huge pop. Terri has on a Santa cap. Kaientai comes out with
the Mean Street Posse. Taka starts in with Christian. Taka goes right to
work. Christian with a belly to back suplex. Christian with a Russian leg
sweep. Taka with a roll up. Christian with a face plant. Taka gets
chopped. Funaki holds Christian for Taka in the corner. Taka misses and
knocks down Funaki. Christian with a dive to the outside to Funaki. Taka
kicks Christian. Funaki holds Christian while Taka misses an Asai moonsault.
Jeff Hardy with a dive to the outside. Inside, Jeff delivers a leg drop off
the top rope onto Funaki. Jeff and Christian get into a slight argument.
Kaientai double team Christian. Christian delivers his inverted DDT to Taka
and tags in Jeff. Jeff knocks down both members of Kaientai and delivers a
spring board leg drop to Funaki. Jeff jumps Taka on the outside. Christian
delivers the Impaler to Funaki. Jeff with a rolling centon bomb and pins
Funaki for the victory. The Mean Street Posse come in the ring and yell at
Kaientai. The Posse turns around. Kaientai dropkicks them from behind and
JR is shown in the back talking to JR. JR hopes that he's careful tonight in
his match with the Big Show. Kane is shown on his way to the ring.
Cops are outside of DX's locker room. Triple H and the Road Dogg tell Mr.
Ass to go get him.
Back in the arena, lights out and Kane's music starts up.
Kane vs. Mr. Ass
I'm an Ass Man. Mr. Ass comes out to heel heat. Mr. Ass runs down the ramp
and gets in the ring to go to work. Kane hammers Gunn on the turnbuckle.
Kane is quite aggressive in this match. Mr. Ass is pounding Kane in the
head. Triple H and the Road Dogg are shown watching in the back. Kane is
back on the offense booting Mr. Ass in the face. Mr. Ass gets chokeslammed.
Kane covers and gets the victory. Mr. Ass is out of the ring and continues
to pummel Mr. Ass. Kane goes for the tombstone and Mr. Ass pushes him into
the turnbuckle post. Mr. Ass goes out through the audience. Kane goes after
him. Triple H and the Road Dogg leave the locker room to help Billy. The
cops don't let Triple H out. Kane is battering Mr. Ass to the backstage.
Road Dogg is scared and says he knows where Tori is. He says she's at the
airport. Kane lets Road Dogg go and leaves. Road Dogg goes down to help
Lawler and Cole recap Moolah and Mae Young in the Triple Threat Match on Raw.
Mark Henry vs. Buh Buh Ray Dudley
Sexual Chocolate comes out with Moolah and MaeYoung. Lawler cracks that
Moolah and Mae Young's first teachers were the Three Wisemen. Mark Henry
gets on the mic and gives Mae a surprise. He goes to read a poem to Mae.
Mae gives him a hug. Here come the Dudley Boyz. Buh Buh Ray comes out and
is begging him to shut his mouth. He calls him an Olympic failure. He calls
Mae old, wrinkly and she smells like a bed pan in an old folks home. Buh Buh
Ray calls everyone white trash. He says their football team sucks. Sexual
Chocolate goes right to work on Buh Buh Ray. D-Von pulls Henry's legs to
distract him. Buh Buh Ray with a side suplex. Buh Buh Ray pounds away on
Henry. Henry is getting chopped in the corner. Henry puts Buh Buh Ray in
the corner and pounds him. Henry runs into a big elbow. Buh Buh Ray with a
clothesline off the middle rope. Buh Buh Ray holds Henry wide open for a low
blow from D-Von. Mae and Moolah pull D-Von and he gets crotched on the top
rope. They continue to pull him while Buh Buh Ray tries to get them away.
Henry drops Buh Buh Ray face first and delivers a big splash for the pinfall
In the back Stephanie gets the cops to get Triple H out of the locker room
and make their way to the ring.
The Lugz Boot of the Week is footage from the Boiler Room Brawl on Raw.
One, two, is this on. Stephanie comes out first and the cops escorting
Triple H to the ring follow. Triple H is giving the cops a hard time, but
gets thrown into the cage. A steel chain is used to lock Triple H inside.
Test, Edge, Christian, and Jeff Hardy make their way to the ring to make sure
no one interferes. Welllllll. Well it's the Big Show. The Big Show gets
in the ring and taunts Triple H inside the cage. Mankind comes out to a huge
pop. The cage gets raised in the air.
WWF Championship Match
Mankind vs. The Big Show
Stephanie sits down to do color commentary. The two combatants lock up and
Mankind is shoved down. Stephanie says there's no business alliance between
she and Triple H. Jeff Hardy, Edge, Christian, and Test will get whatever is
left of Triple H after the match. Triple H is up screaming for help. Big
Show misses a right hand and Mankind mounts an offense on the champ. Mankind
knocks Show out of the ring. Mankind's back gets posted. The Big Show hits
Mankind in the back with a chair. Show throws Mankind back in the ring. The
Big Show with big forearms to the back followed by a head butt. The Big Show
with a bear hug. Mankind bites the Big Show to get out. The Big Show slams
Mankind. Mankind is outside the ring while the Big Show picks up steel steps
and walks towards Mankind. Mankind gets a chair and hits the steps. Mankind
rams Show in the gut with the chair and climbs on top of the announce table
to wallop the champ on the head. Back in the ring, Show is on one knee while
Mankind has a sleeper locked in. Show keeps the arm up and slams Mankind
back. Big Show signals a chokeslam. Big Show grabs Mankind around the
throat. Mankind kicks him in the groin and delivers a double arm DDT. He
covers, but the champ kicks out at two. Mankind takes out Socko and clamps
the Big Show. The two combatants go outside the ring. The cage lowers. The
invitees make their way to the ring. Other wrestlers in the back come out to
take out the invitees. Triple H gets out of the cage. Mankind gets back in
the ring. Triple H holds Stephanie in front. Mankind wants to clamp Mr.
Socko on, but Stephanie is in the way. Stephanie kicks Mankind and Triple H
pummels him. Triple H uses the chain to pummel Mankind. The New Age Outlaws
come out and beat down the Big Show on the outside. The Outlaws come into
the ring to beat on Mankind with Triple H. Stephanie acts shocked.
Stephanie and Triple H hug. DX continues to beat on Mankind. Triple H says
they have two words for this joyous season. The crowd says suck it, but they
say Merry Christmas.
End of Show
I hope you all enjoyed my report and remember to send in your Cal Venis quotes.