WWF Smackdown Results
Big Calbowski 1/21/2000
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You know something ladies, a night with the Big Calbowski is like riding
a see-saw. Ya know, everytime the Big Calbowski goes up, the ladies
always go down.

That was from John Loughran and keep sending your quotes in folks.

I regret to tell you folks, but this damn campus did it to me again.
Smackdown was pre-empted for a hockey game. This frustrates me a great
deal especially after being in class from 10-6.

I have a few ramblings, but first the Smackdown report from WWF.com.


WWF Smackdown 1-20-00
Still dressed in his winter gear, the Big Show made his way to the ring to open SmackDown! He asked the crowd how they could boo him, after all he has done for them. He then reiterated the fact that he hates The Rock. That brought out the People's Champion. The Rock said that they had two choices - one, they could wait until Sunday, or two, they could get it on right now! But then, surprisingly, Kane and Tori made their way to the stage. Tori brought up how everyone was saying that Rock and Big Show had a chance of winning the Rumble Match, and that she thought that Kane was the favorite. As tensions built between Kane, Rock and Big Show, Triple H and Stephanie came out. Calling the three superstars "ego-maniacs," the couple booked the first-ever Triple Threat Over-the-Top-Rope Lumberjack Match for later that night. Rock, Big Show and Kane sealed the deal with a huge brawl.

X-Pac against Test apparently won a special drawing to have a match with the stipulation that the winner would be the 30th entrant into the Royal Rumble Match! Although six inches shorter and 70 pounds lighter than Test, X-Pac pulled off the upset with the X-factor (after a little interference by the New Age Outlaws), meaning that Triple H's cohort will have a huge advantage in the Rumble Match!

After failed pairings with a number of World Wrestling Federation Superstars, Al Snow selected Steve Blackman as his newest choice for a tag team partner. He pointed out the difference between Mick Foley and Blackman -- Mick had three personalities, and Blackman had none! The duo had their work cut out for them, taking on Kurt Angle and the British Bulldog. After a vicious kick to the face from the top rope, Blackman was able to pin the Bulldog. Since Bulldog was pinned, Angle's undefeated streak stays intact.


Matt Hardy took on D-Von Dudley next, in a match that quickly spiraled out of control. After Matt earned a DQ victory due to interference from Buh Buh Ray, the two teams brawled to the stage, where the Dudleys set up two tables. As Buh Buh Ray prepared to powerbomb Matt 10 feet onto the tables, Jeff saved him with a chair, causing Buh Buh to freefall onto the tables! The Hardys then set up a table of their own and put D-Von on it, and then Matt proceeded to legdrop D-Von through the table! These two teams are obviously prepared for the Tag Team Table Match this Sunday at the Royal Rumble!

Hardcore Holly and his brother Crash argued in the dressing room, with Crash complaining that he had no competition, and Hardcore just wanting to be left alone. Hardcore wound up throwing Crash out of the dressing room into the waiting arms of Viscera, who said he'd be happy to oppose Crash that night.

In a battle between the student and the teacher, Prince Albert took on his mentor, the Big Boss Man. This match quickly deteriorated into an all-out melee, with referees and officials having to separate the two men.

Having been given the night off by Triple H for their good effort Monday night, the New Age Outlaws decided to stop by a local bar - the same one the Acolytes had terrorized when the Federation was in town three months ago! One patron made the mistake of warning the Road Dogg and Mr. Ass that the Acolytes were pretty tough - and he got a beer glass to the head and a major ass-kicking for his troubles!

The greatest trio in World Wrestling Federation history, Too Cool and Rikishi, suited up for competition against the three competitors who will meet at the Royal Rumble to determine the undisputed Intercontinental Champion - Chris Jericho, Chyna and Hardcore Holly. Jericho, Chyna and Holly were relentless in their attack on Rikishi, and after ignoring referee's orders to stop the triple-team attack, they were disqualified. But Rikishi got a measure of revenge after the match, executing a monstrous sit-down splash onto Chyna!

Finally, The Rock came back to Providence! In a special interview with Lilian Garcia, The Rock said he was looking forward to his Triple Threat Match with the "statuesque retard who you can't understand a word he says" - and Kane!

Viscera made short work of Crash Holly, thundering down with a monstrous splash for the pin.

Edge, who is rumored to be one of the judge in this Sunday's "Miss Royal Rumble Swimsuit Competition," took on former ally Gangrel. As the action spilled to the outside, Luna started talking to Edge, perhaps trying to influence him in her favor before Sunday's competition. Not wanting the Gothic princess to have an unfair advantage, the other lovely ladies came to the ring to give Edge a piece of their mind! Gangrel picked up the victory via countout, but Edge never heard the decision - he was too busy getting a big wet kiss from "Mae Tongue!"

Once Bradshaw and Faarooq realized that the Outlaws were at the bar, they made their way over "for a few beers." It didn't take long for the Outlaws and the Acolytes, who will meet for the Tag Team Championship at the Royal Rumble, to start throwing punches. However, once Bradshaw and Faarooq turned their attention to some of the other bar patrons, Mr. Ass and the Road Dogg escaped out the back door! There will be no escape for the Outlaws this Sunday at the Rumble!

The Rock, Big Show and Kane then hooked it up, with the other 27 Rumble competitors surrounding the ring. The rules stated that a competitor would be eliminated when he was thrown over the top rope and both feet touched the floor, the same rules as in the Royal Rumble Match. Early on, Rock was thrown over the top, but landed on the ring apron and was thus able to return. But the Big Show's pure size was too much for the Great One to handle, and the Show was able to chokeslam The Rock over the top. Even though he was eliminated from the match, the People's Champion climbed back into the ring and delivered a Rock Bottom to the Big Show. Perhaps a bit woozy, the Big Show charged towards Kane. But the Big Red Machine had the presence of mind to duck just in time, and backdropped the 500-pounder over the top rope! Kane had won, but had little time to celebrate, as all 30 men brawled in the ring!

Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley and World Wrestling Federation Champion Triple H came to the ring next, with hatred in their eyes. Triple H recalled the 1999 Royal Rumble, when The Rock destroyed Mankind with over a dozen chairshots. He recalled Mick's family sitting in the front row at that event, watching on in horror. That brought Cactus Jack to the stage. Cactus said that his family would not be in attendance, or even watching, this year, since he was preparing to be more brutal than ever, and didn't even want his kids to see it! He promised to have a surprise for Triple H, in the form of "shiny, metallic objects," and vowed to turn Triple H into a human pin cushion. Cactus then said that since his kids weren't going to watch on Sunday, that he wanted to show them what a street fight was - so Mick made his way to the ring and started brawling with the "Game!" After a brutal battle, Cactus piledrove Triple H on top of the announce table not once, not twice, but three times! A bloody Triple H laid in a heap at ringside as Cactus Jack celebrated getting the last word before the Rumble!

Now last week I rambled about my Venis awards and all I have to say
about them this week is read this email I received from a fan by the
name of Sean Kelly....

First off I don't usually read the Smackdown Report because I usually
watch it. But I did see yesterdays but missed a few segments so I read
your report. The bottom though, where you comment on awards you gave
earlier. I was delighted to hear that someone else is not impressed by
Chris Benoit. I hate that guy, he is not that great and I can't
understand why everyone jumped on his bandwagon a few months ago.
Second, I'm also happy that you admit to only one federation, I just
don't understand this whole "you're a wcw/wwf mark" thing. Why can't
people only like one Federation?

Sean Kelly

Now back to my rambling and I have to say that Sean is definitely a fan
to be admired. He (as well as a whole lot of others who emailed me)
agrees that it's not necessary to have to like all the promotions. I'm
not sure how to describe it, but this has got to be one of the best
e-mails that I ever received. It's really difficult to find words to
describe it.

Now a new feature called the Venis' Tens which I pick a category and
list 10 things randomly that fit the description.

This week's Venis Tens category...remember that these are not listed in
any particular order as I just put them in as they come to mind.

10 Undercarders More Entertaining Than Goldberg

1. Viscera
2. Mideon
3. Brooklyn Brawler
4. Steve Blackman
5. Gangrel
6. Funaki
7. Taka
8. Mosh
9. Thrasher
10. Blue Meanie

I have just been informed that this campus may have lost UPN altogether
thus meaning no more Smackdown. I guess this may the end of the Big
Calbowski's reports on LOP being that I don't go home again till
Spring break in March. It was fun while it lasted.

Questions, comments,concerns, Cal Venis quotes.
thebigcalbowski@yahoo.com



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