Oh dear.

Drew, I know you may be temporary, but my love for you will be forever. Great stories this weekend.

When this happens, I don't wanna be the one that's gotta tell the whole internet of fanboys that their favourite phrase just got trademarked.

Seriously. The internet will explode or something.

Wow, that's a new level of stupidity!

Futuremark has a good reputation among the gaming community. Pulling crap like this will only destroy that.

I'm a evil company hater-boi, +1 to my list

Why don't they ban piracy while they're at it?

I like how they have to do this with "pwnage" rather than "pwn." I say that if this ridiculous piece of crap goes through, we should start saying "pwnaged," or "pwnageified," in order to genericize it as quickly as possible.

Pwned! lololo.

Does that simply mean no one else can make a movie, album, or game with the term "pwnage" in it?

Not that anyone really was in the first place...

Drew, keep up the awesome stories.

And pictures to go with them :D

¿Whats 1337 & hax04?

Smells like an Aprils fool prank in the making. I'm suspicious for anything these days.

Sorry, my bad. I'd just filed a motion against Futuremark Games Studio for violating my patent on breathing... I think they're retaliating.

By the way, folks, you're late with your royalties. Cough up.

-- Steve

Are people jumping on the "April Fools in March" bandwagon, then?

Wow. I've seen other Kotakuites comment about how totally amazing the pictures Drew posts are awesome, and up until now, I've thought: "They are, indeed, pretty good, but I don't need to waste people's time talking about it." But that picture... totally requires me to waste people's time talking about how awesome Drew's picture selections are.

spam i know, but the picture is from the zoo Duisburg in germany ^-^ where i live... i knew ive seen the pool somewhere

I'm sorry, but "pwn" came from a typical, nay, common typo, not some genius of wordplay. Notice how "O" and "P" are close together?

But if this bullshit case it allowed, then I call "teh."

What the hell? This stupid, how can this possibly be taken seriously by a court or anyone for that matter. If this does somehow go through the crazy judicial system and get passed the boys at Pure Pwnage might be in trouble, though im sure they would have more right to trademarking the word than these finnish bozos.

What dumb asses. How can you trademark a word that somebody else came up with. Isn't that kind of like stealing a baby then cloning the baby and selling the cloned babies to people.

Don't worry guys. He will be in for a surprise when he finds out I have already applied for a trademark on all vowels.

...laser disks?

@fadecy: Yes, it's just like selling cloned babies.

That say pwnage.

I'm trademarking the word trademark.

I'm going to get ahead of the curve on this one and trademark "d0uchage."

Too late...Comcast trademarked that a long time ago.

I hope their trademark gets denied just so I can e-mail them saying "You got pwned"

@ bluesquareapple

Yeah well before you do that I am going to trademark "Patent" and all its forms. So no one can file a patent ever again!

@invictus: IBM is doing that already. They are trying to patent how to make money from patents.

[www.breitbart.com]

I warned you all. It started with Pirates Vs. Ninjas, and I warned you.

If this is real, please insert an epic facepalm here, my guess is that its just an early April Fool's joke.

shennanigans! on Futuremark, get your brooms! (southpark reference if you didn't understand it..)

anyway, how can they tm a word that never really was a word?

well then, im gonna go tm the word "a", or just the letter "a", and every otehr vowel, so it will be impossible to make anything that doesnt require paying me

Now that its mainstream does that mean people will stop using it? God I hope so.

dwnage. also, qwnage.

LOL! That manatee pwned that chakkin' n00b!

Photoshop is a trademark, but it doesn't stop people using the word, usually as a verb. To quote Adobe:

CORRECT: The image was enhanced using Adobe® Photoshop® software.
INCORRECT: The image was photoshopped.

They can't do anything to stop people using it that way though, photoshop is synonymous with image editing and enough people use it that way that they could never stop people misusing it, the same with Google now meaning "look it up on the internet".

Why is it always pwn? L, K, I, 9, and 0 are all next to O on the keyboard. lwnage? kwnage? iwnage? 9wnage? 0wnage? Well, I guess th last one works...

"i lwn all u nubs" could be the nxt big thing!

Awww I was gonna trademark that. Not really because that's lame.

Hmm, wonder how long it will take for anon on 4chan or any other chan to amass the army and attack.

First of all, don't we know who invented it? It was some guy on WoW, wasn't it?

Second, how the fuck do these idiot lawyers think they can stop an internet full of nerds from saying it to each other?

Third, why do they think they can make money by copyrighting it for movies and such? Is someone busy writing the script to "PWN: The Movie"?!

Ugh. Reminds me of Lionel Hutz imagining a world without lawyers.

No chance in hell will this be accepted. So don't worry. And if it is accepted, it will be appealed and it does not take long to see where the word originated

thats almost as bad as when paris hilton tried to trademark "thats hot" as a paris only phrase.

If this is actuly real then i have lost all faith in everything in the world and will make it my lifes mission to destroy the world because i dont want to get pissed off by how stupid people are anymore.

If its fake then PWNED.

most of the older retarded internet slang originated either on the counterstrike servers/forums or on IRC.

what a retarded idea for attention. whats next? leak a sex tape with paris hilton? good luck with that.

@PlayerX: wow?! no way jose. pwned was in full use the first time i turned on counterstrike - in like 1998.
from my understanding it comes from fps 1-hand-on-keyboard misspelling, you are aiming at writing 'owned' but because your hand has to travel from the mouse to the keyboard the first letter often ends up wrong: o is next to p (and it's your lame 4th finger hitting the o key).
this is funny. why bother? they can't really do anything with it.

Grah! They're not trying to trademark the word, obviously - do you not think that their lawyers would have said 'ummm, you can't do that?'

Note how it's the Futuremark Game Studio that's filed this - it's obvious that, if it isn't an April fool, it's obviously because they're protecting the name 'Pwnage' for a product. 10 points to anyone who connects 'game studio' and 'game product'!

Don't always jump to conclusions, folks!

@kutsurogu: no, do always jump to conclusions, folks!

Pwned.

...so what? Do they get a nickle or something?

Drew, you are on FIRE this weekend! Go man go!

Also, what a stupid idea it would be to trademark "pwned".

@Arteen:

Because pwnage looks more like ownage than kwnage. That looks like kwanage like kwan (from Jerry Maguire) or coin in the vernacular. So you might say something to your buddies like Hey dude, U got enuf kwnage for a couple of forties? Now if your buddy chugs down the 40, you would say Dude, U pwned that 40.

they didn't mention hd-dvd! where's their vision?

Okay, I'm going to skip all this nonsense and go right to trademarking the words "Cake", "Door", and "Car". Anytime anyone uses those without my permission... oy, there will be trouble.

Also, who would even bother to trademark something on laser disc anymore?

I want a nickle every time someone uses the word "The".

Does anybody even make laserdiscs anymore???

Hey they left Bluray free!

That's sad...

PWNAGE :D

Damn it all!
When will The Man cease getting at us with his nefarious schemes?

It's like that time The Man decided Jack Thompson should be on TV, or when he keeps on giving Uve Boll money.

Damn The Man!

"laser discs featuring movies about fictional characters"

People still use Laser Disks?

@DrunkMonkey: I just bought dr strangelove on laserdisc 2 days ago.

And the thing is, this stuff is only common on the interwebs®, so the registry peoples® don't know that they're common. To them, they look at these ungodly collection of letters and say "Those couldn't possibly be words like dog and cat and George Bush® and Onomatopoeia! They can be trademarked!"

Bullock's Bollocks®, I say.

You think THIS is stupid? These are just absurd internet fad words... Not, stupid is the companies that patented their genetically modified seeds, planted them on farmers that never used anything but their own seed, and sued those farmers into foreclosure. That has a bit more weight than whether we get to say "Lolz®" again.

Oh boy, just when I thought pwned! images couldn't get any funnier

@jarjarwang: laserdisc! retro charm!

When a judge shoots this down for the nonsensical bullshit it is there needs to be a bunch of gamers waiting on the courthouse steps to shout "pwned" at the company's lawyers as they leave the building.

Well, we still have 'prawnage.'

Prawned!

@Livid: I elect this term for standard usage.

great...now the word isn't cool anymore. What's the next word we can say?

It'll never happen. It's so common domain it's not even funny.

I don't expect this to actually be approved. Paris Hilton failed to Trademark "that's hot" because it was a common expression. Pwnage is a common enough expression among certain people. Albeit if they continue speaking like that no one will ever bother to listen to them.

I seriously hope that they don't get this because it's plain bullshit that a commonly used word like that could even be trademarked. It's a word that's been in the public domain and I'm frankly disgusted that everything these days seem up for grabs when money is involved; if money isn't involved, someone will find a way to make sure it is.

So, now South Park will have to pay them royalties for reruns of the WoW episode?

great picture. :)

@mjpm: The scenario you describe is why it's going to be impossible for them to legitimately trademark the phrase. If the court has any idea of what a day on the internet is like, they will understand that this phrase is in extremely common usage.

Even if Futuremark did "invent" the phrase "pwnage," by putting it into mainstream they caused it to be genericized.

Yes. That is the most excellent picture. (lol)

Trademarking those words? Wow.

Great picture though. I have to find out where you guys find those pictures.

"Pwned" didn't come from WoW (or Counterstrike), but it was likely popularized from an earlier Blizzard game. People couldn't determine if it was a programmer's typo or a deliberate reference to an even earlier usage, but that's where it got popular.

It's probably on Wikipedia. "Pwnage" is just a form of "Pwned."

I claim "WTF"!

FutureMark is in the process of making a game. I'm pretty sure that they are just registering the name for it and not trying to profit from a term that is widely used. 'Pwnage' sounds like a trendy name for a actionshooter of somekind.

K'mon guys, everyone here should know by now that MANY companies are registering those stupid things not because they want to sue other companies, but to keep themselves from being sued! .. microsoft registered many stupid words, so did Apple .. so did every big company ..

FutureMark is in essence the same people from Remedy, Max Payne, Alan Wake... stop with the freak-out "omg, they are taking my words! me can't speak!!!!"

How sad, this is a definite underscore on our society (humankind) as a good example of how humans act in petty ways. Progression? or Regression?

One question though....ummm.....has anyone taken jubblies yet?

@Ludwig: Uh, no. But thanks for playing.

The reason companies like Tivo and Adode work so hard to protect their trademarks is because they do not want them to become generic terms, such as every DVR being called a Tivo, and every picture editor photoshop or photoshopping. Why? Because once they become generic terms, it is much more difficult to keep your trademark protection. There are plenty of words you use today that use to be trademarked to refer to a specific product, but became generic over time. Check out all the trouble Tivo goes to to educate their employees so they don't help this process:

[dynamic.tivo.com]

Horray for stupid trademark attempts!

"This follows previously-cool Fark's attempts to trademark "NSFW.""

That was a joke, dude.

@Catalyst:
Due to the new trademarking laws and stuff like that, those companies were getting sued by using common words.
[www.iht.com]
You can find many examples googling for "Trademark Common Words"..

I'm talking about words like "Cool" "ESC" "Morning" .. etc ..

Those companies are trademarking as many of those common words they can and leaving the rights open under a conctract they cannot sue anyone for using them.

what would happen to "www.purepwnage.com" ??? :O

@Moonshadow101: Yeah but those guys were only trademarking Pirates vs. Ninjas for the use only if used in relation to pirates and ninjas playing dodgeball in a videogame setting and they said they wouldn't enforce it at all. They just needed to trademark their game name. This is different. This is being used for assholish purposes.

That really is the best picture ever! =D

@Ludwig:
Companies are not trademarking common words as a blocker to a lawsuit.

The article you linked to describes a new trend among countries to pass federal laws granting a "trademark" in conjunction to certain events.
Trademark is in quotations because the right granted does not function like a regular trademark; it doesn't last as long (in most countries TMs are valid as long as they are used), doesn't meet most statutory requirements (in the US a TM must be used in commerce before it can be registered, other countries only require an intent to use), and it has a requirement that words be used in certain combinations.

In the United States a trademark can not be registered unless it has been used "in commerce." Microsoft can't register a common word like "Morning" without either first using it in commerce (selling/giving away/promoting a product or service using the word) or filing a provisionary application for the word and then using it within the proscribed time period (length depends on whether they file an extension or not).

lol@the picture XD

@Scuba Steve:

For those single 40-year olds living in their parents' basement: lwnage

For the ice cream truck: kwnage

I don't think it's going to happen. Even in their limited universe it's still waaaay to widepsread.

BTW, ever wonder why you don't hear the word "Xerox" much anymore? Everyone says copy machine or copier? It's because Xerox was in danger of losing it's trademark as the name became the standard for a copy machine. They had to instigate a campaign through advertising and such to get people to call it something else.

They are just asking for trouble.

My suggestion to them is "Never threaten what internet community holds dear".

Uh, wow. That's a kid with his head in the mouth of a whale... I'm... not really sure what to say...

... that's it, I'm gonna file for trademarks for "woot", "w00t", "XD", "/b/", and (if I'm able to) "anon".

Regardless, I expect the application to fall flat, unless the TM offices haven't been around ether internet or gamers at all.

I'm not an expert on copyright and trademark law. That being said, it does seem pretty clear that this is an attempt to secure the rights for the name of a game, or perhaps an in-game item or event. That doesn't mean that no one can use the term anymore without express permission, just that no one else can trademark or claim intellectual property rights to it in a related field, or in a way that might be misleading or confusing. You don't see Valve prosecuting drug companies or nuclear physicists for using the term "half-life" even though they have a trademark on it.

Hey, I didn't see any mention of 8-track tapes in there, even though they mentioned laser discs (wtf?).

I believe they will soon learn PWNAGE from the wrong side.

Can I apply for "stupid companies that think they can pull crap like that"?

That picture is hillarious

This whole thing has "EPIC FAIL" written all over it.

words already TM

wtf -[tess2.uspto.gov]

Noob - [tess2.uspto.gov]

PWNED - [tess2.uspto.gov]

Woot - [tess2.uspto.gov]