Carlos Mencia answers a few pressing questions on the road during his Punisher Tour, including "What's up with the Ned thing?" and "Would you do a Holocaust joke at the Simon Wiesenthal Center?" Seriously.

I know I'm on TV but I don’t really look at myself like that. I am really always amazed when people tell me that they think I am funny or that I influence their lives in a positive way. 

Today I found out this kid on you tube, DameGreyWulf, who combined “Mind of Mencia” and some dog cartoon to create some of the funniest shit I’ve seen in I don’t know how long.  I haven’t laughed and cried that hard in a long time.  This kid is only 15 years old…check it out.

I see a lot of top 5 lists but I have never seen a top 5 list of the top 5 numbers. So here you go…
Top 5 numbers for a top 5 list:

5. We need to get it out of the way immediately because it is way too predictable…number 69
4. Let's also get the number 7 out of the way…this isn’t craps
3. 12…we all know the significance of number 12…Jesus liked it so it’s got to be good enough for me.
2. The number 29…it’s my wife’s favorite number, it doesn’t mean much to me but she’s standing next to me as I write this blog
1. Number 2…cause in the end, we all want to be number 1, but none of us end up as number 1…number 2 is befitting cause we ain’t worth shit.

I recently found out that a character in a Spanish soap opera on Telemundo said on the show (in Spanish) "Yeah, like my friend Carlos Mencia says…Dee Dee Dee". 

The name of the soap opera is called Letty LaFea (which translates to “Letty the Ugly One”.)

Okay, I am a comedian, we all know what that entails, we all know the history....you're not going to believe this but I swear to god today I actually slipped on a banana peel.

My nationwide “Punisher Tour” is under way.  Click here to see the tour dates and venues. 

Any additional info can be found at my official website.

Do you need help expressing yourself this Father's Day? Let Jason Jones from The Daily Show, Ling Ling or Carlos Mencia assist you -- check out our selection of Father's Day e-cards.

Surprise your friends and enemies with a Comedy Central e-card. Choose from Drawn Together, Dane Cook, Mind of Mencia or Samurai Love God.

Carlos gives props to those who helped him extend his reach.

Here's how to get to Carlos' childhood home in East LA.

Mind of Mencia: English...the Mencia Way

Colors, gangs, killings -- Carlos witnesses a medieval drive-by!

The Rolling Stones teach Carlos that drugs keep you alive for a long time, when used appropriately.

What do animals really want? Less Ashton Kutcher, for one thing...

Catch Carlos TONIGHT on FSN's "Best Damn Sports Show Period" at 10:30 pm (ET/PT).  That's Fox Sports Network for the non-frat boys out there.

Carlos goes to the streets -- and Gene Simmons -- to find out what women want.

Carlos reveals the truth about the contents of your inbox.

Solving NASA's problems is all in a day's work for Carlos Mencia.

Carlos and writer Nick want a movie where Seabiscuit fights Cinderella Man.

Exploring a gay neighborhood, Carlos learns a new meaning for "Give me a hand!"

Carlos and the Voiceover Dude put their own spin on recent flicks.

Mencia Minute:

Leaking Politicians

Ted: The Other White Meat

Ask Carlos:

Honesty, Luck and Fame

Voting and Slater

Mencia wonders: does Desperate Housewives accurately depict our nation's gardeners?

Desperate Gardeners and More Desperate Gardeners.

Mencia wonders: if you're ugly and you die, does anyone really care?

Can't get enough of Carlos Mencia on his new show? Here are links to exclusive video on our site:

Mencia Minute: Carlos goes off on popular culture

Animal Wrongs: Carlos says don't put your kids on the lunch tray.

The New Batman: Carlos prefers his Batman without nipples, thank you very much.

Jacko, Part 1: Carlos has a message for the Jackson jury.

Jacko, Part 2: The Jackson verdict gives Carlos an idea...

Potheads: Carlos has something to say about medical marijuana.

Reality Show Rants: Carlos reveals the secrets of reality show casting.

Ask Carlos: a new weekly feature where Carlos answers questions after the show. (But there will be no crying or hugging - this ain't Oprah!)

18 Years of Comedy: Carlos tells how he conned Comedy Central into giving him his own show.