Those Ridiculous Sunglasses

Published in the Michigan Daily, 10/3/06

Girls wearing big sunglasses aren’t hot and show weakness

this is what they look likeUnlike the mini skirt or push-up bra, oversized sunglasses are part of a trend toward women’s fashions not specifically designed for men’s enjoyment, and that’s why reasonable people strongly dislike them. Most girls who do wear the big tinted eye-boxes are totally unaware of the supposedly avant-garde statement the specs were designed to make (”I’m wearing these ridiculous things because I’m cool enough to not care about how cool I look.”), and are instead loudly broadcasting a desperate cry for help exacerbated by the rest of their knock-off designer wardrobe that suggests they’ve barely caught the tail end of a whole line of “retro looks” made exclusively for carelessly indulgent wannabes. The rest are probably so caught up in the fact that they were clever enough to wear something “ironic” that they’ve forgotten the real reason they bought the things, namely to distract their frat-boy crushes from an uneven skin tone and jagged protruding nose. Hopefully as a group girls will stop using *eyewear* to hint at their quest for strength and independence and will revert to the triumvirate of liner, mascara, and shadow that’s actually been useful to society for hundreds of years.

- James Somers




Kyle Vass Jun 27th, 2007 at 12:33 pm

The statement girls are making with these glasses is not “I don’t care how ridiculous I look.” You’ve half hit the mark with “show[ing] weakness”.
Here’s the thing, “retro” never goes out of style because it simply refers to a dated period of fashion. 70s 80s 50s, whatever decade you want to look at will come in and out but you can always bet that something from the past is going to be incorporated into modern fashion. This particular look, I believe is a backlash to the overly hip, square, very typical (and very boring) sunglasses that people started wearing at the end of the 90s. Now, how this plays into the fashion of today’s young woman; insecurity and convenience.

Why do girls wear sweatpants? Not to show how bold they are, but rather it hides things that they don’t like about themselves quite well and they’re incredibly comfortable. This is nothing more than a quick-fix for perhaps a girl who doesn’t want to spend time on things like mascara, liner, etc.

If one convention shows weakness than any and all show weakness. It’s just a matter of realizing to what degree do they show weakness. For me, I believe that a girl who spends half of an hour putting on war paint has put forth more effort (and proportionally more absorbed in her insecurities or rather her time is more proportionally controlled by them) than the girl who grabs an oversize (and arguably more effective) pair of sunglasses.


Brandi Cawood Oct 1st, 2007 at 3:28 pm

So, are you arguing that a girl couldn’t possibly be wearing these sunglasses to keep the sun out of her eyes? Here is the reason I wear big sunglasses: I have glasses and I like them. I don’t want to get contacts because I think they are a hassle and I like the way I look with frames. But I need something to shade my eyes from the sun, and I need something big enough to fit over my regular glasses. Therefore, I buy big sunglasses. If I’m making a “fashion statement” while wearing them, so be it. But I’m not trying to hide my insecurities or cover up an uneven skin tone–I’m only keeping the sun out of my eyes. There is no need to overanalyze. I mean, we’re talking about SUNGLASSES, for Christ’s sake.


shelby Nov 17th, 2007 at 2:10 am

haha i find this hilariouse and its pretty obviouse that you know nothing about fashion =]


MARIE WOOD Nov 18th, 2007 at 5:18 pm

Why do guys always think that whenever girls wear anything that is “too big” they are trying to hide something? We happen to wear sweatpants because they are comfortable, or because we are cold. Not because we are trying to hide something we don’t like! God, how pig-headed can one be? Just because we don’t wear clothes that are two-sizes too small, you go off and think we are insecure about something.

No, we wear big sunglasses to block the sun out of our eyes. Then there is the rest of us (myself included) that look like shit in smaller sunglasses. We don’t wear them to cover up our ‘uneven skin tone’, we are just trying to keep from being sun blinded. Big sunglasses are in, I admit that, but they were around way before all the stars started wearing them, but people didn’t notice until they started wearing them, that so is every other regular person.

And do you honestly think that girls would continue to wear them if everyone thought they looked bad? No. They wouldn’t. Because they look good.