How stoopid is Sean Salisbury?  He’s sufficiently stoopid not to know a good thing when he had it.  And he’s sufficiently stoopid not to realize that he’ll never, ever be as exposed or as wealthy as he was while getting paid by ESPN.

But Salisbury convinced himself that he was underpaid and unappreciated by Bristol, and he says that he asked for a seven-figure salary in order to trigger a “mutual parting.”

I’m a free agent,” Salisbury told the Los Angeles Times from his cell phone (snicker) on Tuesday.  “I’ve been liberated.  I knew this was coming, but I couldn’t be happier.”

The problem apparently was that Salisbury didn’t get paid as much as more famous former football players.

“I’d grown tired of being punished for not being an NFL superstar,” Salisbury said.  “Analysts who don’t work as hard as me, don’t prepare as hard as me, and don’t have my resume were making more than me just because of their ability to throw or catch a football.”  (Or, as the case may be, run with a football and then win Dancing with the Stars.)

“I’d done nothing wrong, and if you hear otherwise, it’s not true.  I did everything that was asked of me,” Salisbury said, possibly in an effort to defuse any rumors that he was fired for calling John Clayton the “Cryptkeeper” on the air last month. 

Salisbury claims that he has an offer from FSN, and that he might land in a “non-sports role with CBS.”  Maybe he’s been hired to fire Katie Couric because she doesn’t move her arms when she does the news.