bleah





Star Wars, Episode I: The Phantom Menace Trailer


Mr. Cranky's rating:
2 bombs


YoungYoda sounds more like Miss Piggy and he just won't shut up.



Based on the recently-released trailer, here are the top 10 reasons whyyou should be worried about the new "Star Wars" movie:

    10. Voice that says, "The boy is dangerous. They all sense it. Why can't you?" actually Hugh Grant.

    9. George Lucas hasn't directed a movie in 22 years.

    8. Green screen shine around computer-generated characters explained away by Liam Neeson as "mystical aura."

    7. Soundtrack album by Marilyn Manson features hit songs "Anakin, You Little Prick Bastard" and "Feel My Dark Side."

    6. Young Yoda sounds more like Miss Piggy and he just won't shut up.

    5. Due to Lucas' feelings of inadequacy, the term "Phantom Menace" actually refers to the shadow cast by Ewan McGregor's penis in "The Pillow Book."

    4. Breakthrough gay sex scene between R2-D2 and C-3PO reportedly not appreciated by test audiences.

    3. Seething mobs of geeks at film opening likely to set new theater records for random shrieking, inappropriate laughter and mistimed applause.

    2. Young Anakin? Chronic bedwetter.

    1. The Samuel L. Jackson line: "You refer to the prophecy of the one who will bring balance to the Force. You believe it's this boy?" is actually incomplete. The true line from the script reads: "You refer to the prophecy of the one who will bring balance to the Force. You believe it's this boy, motherfucker?"

Was it really that bad?
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