So many, so many irons in the fire!!!

Selfport dot com

shoshanarose dot com

Shoshana Rose Reality T.V. Show

OMG! MY BRAIN IS ON FIRE!!!!

And I know that I said that I am on an internet break until the end of April, but I MISS YOU GUYS!!

And my 44th birthday is coming this Wednesday!

April 16th, 1964

OIVAY!

And even though I feel a little scared, I know that G-d will provide a more respectful job and I will be happier in the end; even if I don’t make near as much money as I did as a Glamour Masseuse!!

Love you all!

MUAH!
xoxox

your friend,

shoshana rose

Here’s a lovely vlog that I very much enjoyed making on Friday, March 28th, 2008.  As of today–April 2nd, 2008–I am officially on an INTERNET BREAK until the end of April when I return from my visit to Florida.  Be well my friends!

If you want to keep up with my happenings, please listen to my voice blog:

http://www. snapvine. com/shoshanarose1/blog

In keeping with what I said a few weeks ago about ‘cleaning up my act’, this morning I removed my sexy videos and posts here on my Diary of a Dancer.  In general, I don’t plan to change my style and the type of content I produce, nevertheless, for the sake of making my blogs more socially acceptable, I will not any longer be posting the sexy content I produce. 

Playing Dress Up & Picking Flowers

Yesterday on The ARTisT iN YOU I posted about my lovely day at home this past Monday and how I spent time homemaking and meditating but I want to show you what else I got to enjoy–the flowers in my back yard!  Sometimes it’s a blessing when I have no appointments at the studio, especially now that Spring is here!  woo-hoo!  Oh, and never mind the silly headdress I am wearing–yes, I still play dress up! heehee

Healing Garden

God sings Through the love of a friend
God speaks In the silence
God paints In greens, browns & blues
God loves Through His providence

Whispering, whispering, through thinnest of air
His ways drip into me he’s fairer than fair
Somewhere we’ve forgotten this loving, kind Lord
His right hand so valiant, life from his loins poured

I’ll stand up and proclaim Him! Declare that He’s real!
Proof of puddin’s in eatin’- I feel as He feels!
So away with that dragon, him and his dumb songs!
I’m carrying my weapon through this night, oh so long

Nay, darkness won’t harm me, nor loose His firm grip
He is my Master Guard: I’m born from His hip
So silence shout on! And dear friends, still sing
For soon we’ll be getting: Bridegroom’s wedding ring!

Shoshana Rose

Copyright © 2002-2008  ShoshanaRose

The Good Life

As most of you probably know from my blogs or a personal friendship with me, I do not watch T.V.  Instead, I spend my time being creative and catching-the-flow; the muse.  Being an artist, I have found that if I waste hours in front of the boob-toob, not being creative for myself, I lose my joy for living and the childlike playfulness that those who know me, say I exude.

Above is a vlog from this past Friday night, the first SHABBAT of Spring 2008, and the first FULL MOON too!  As is my practice, after the sun went down, I lit a few candles, turned on some music and played with my camera in my Casa de Amor.  The painting “MUAH” in this vlog is the one that Kris Cahill gifted to me by mail, after we filmed her Artist Journey Video Portrait: Kris Cahill Sings With Paint & Brush, for submission to the Producer who purchased me the fancy High Def Canon Video Camera.  As you will see in the vlog, I have hung the painting she gave me right next to my bed.

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn’t music. 

~William Stafford

 The Magic Touch

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.

you really have to love yourself in order to get

anything done in this world.”

~Lucille Ball~

Since the time I was very small, I remember loving to give my grandmother foot and leg massages.  I really loved it!  When Mom would take us to visit “gaga”, as soon as we would walk through the door, I’d say: “Gaga, I’m going to get the lotion and rub your feet, OK?”

My grandmother was crippled from the waist down, from polio when she was young woman.  I remember feeling very loving and compassionate toward my Grandma; just wanting to make her life and existence a little more enjoyable by and with my gift of touch.

It’s a marvel; a wonder to me, that since I began my sensuous masseuse job, well, I hear songs in my mind; church-type music; hymns. And I sing in my car.  I see dancing in my inner eye.  People love one another; touch one another; look out for and take care of one another.

The God I serve, he must be sensuous too?  Like my poem Naked Land-the one that came to me in the shower, in Ramona, while I was recalling the previous day’s drive from Ramona to Julian, through the green valleys, up the mountains-this is God’s heartbeat.

NAKED LAND

Oh naked land

She rises and falls

Drumming my chest

Oh singing soil

Mountains and hills

Her beautiful breasts

Canyon way melodies

Streams all a gush

Crystal clean waters

Through my veins rush

Carrying my soul

My life on thus wings

Over valley and dale

Lush greenery sings

Dance with me there

Make love and abide

God’s splendid creation

His sensuous side

Sometimes, I feel like a human sacrifice; baring my soul as I do.  And I wonder what people think of me?  I wonder why, for some, it is more difficult to receive love than scorn?  Do they not love themselves?  Do they think it’s indulgent to be treated special and cared for?  Or is it just conditioning from youth?  Are the vast majority of mankind reared to believe that love, touch, affection and kindness are aspects of life reserved only for special occasions, but not every day; that work is most important and only after the work is done do they allow themselves pleasure?

I used to think so, believe that way.  And I found it to be a wearisome path.  I found myself always working, rarely ‘stopping to smell the roses’, as-it-were.

Five years it’s taken me.  Five years to rebuild my life.  The workaholic lifestyle I had been leading caught up with me, and in 2001 I suffered a nervous breakdown; even had suicidal fantasies.  I learned the hard way, that if I don’t weave into my DAILY life, rest, love, quiet reflective time, dance, flowers, prayer and orgasms, my soul will die.  It did die.  Or, I lost it?  But thanks-be-to-God, I’ve gotten it back again.  And now I am strong.  And now I can love; give again; share the flowers.  I am a flower.

“And the day came when the risk it took

to remain tight inside the bud was more

painful than the risk it took to bloom.”

~Anais Nin~

Tonight at Pala Resort & Casino in North San Diego County, the band I LOVE–The Gipsy Kings–will be in concert and I am so excited!  A friend of mine purchased tickets for Carrese & I and we are going to dance our hearts out!  Well, I know that I sure will be.  Carrese may be videotaping me for a vlog, we shall see if they allow our cameras?

Above is my number one video of all time on youtube.  It had over a quarter million views on my last channel, that was taken down on December 26th, 2007, and it is currently getting over 1000 views per day on my current DANCEPIRATION channel.  Which goes to prove, I don’t have to dance seductively at all, in order to get viewers to watch me; right?  I just have to be myself and have fun in the process!

I asked a friend of mine why he thought that this video has always been my most viewed, and he said it’s because I show a childlike playfulness that cheers the heart.  Do you agree with him? 

Well, whatever the case, I sure do love the Gipsy Kings music and I can hardly wait to don my new gyspy dance costume from Spain, and dance my heart out!  It’s so beautiful, my costume–bright green and purple, with polka dots!  Woo-hoo!

VOICE BLOG UPDATE

GLORIOUS OAK TREE IN RAMONA, CALIFORNIA

After I posted on Friday, February 29th, 2008, I found myself very pensive.  So I ditched work and ran to the my friend’s 125 acres of pristine undeveloped land in the heart of San Diego County.  While there, I filmed the land and my reaction to it; after not having visited in a very long time.  All total, I created 16 clips of myself vlogging around Mina de Oro and up in the country town of Ramona, the small community in North Eastern San Diego County where I lived from Rosh Hashana 2001, until summer of 2003.

Here is the link to a five minute preview on Veoh.com 

If you want to view the entire EPIC VLOG you can click through from my channel on Veoh.com to my place on VEOH TV.  The entire film is one hour and 22 minutes, so you might want to grab some popcorn before sitting down to watch it?

Yesterday, Thursday February 28th, was a very special day for me because I got to speak with two of my beloved dance teachers, and, I received a blog comment from my belly dance teacher who has moved away!  Gosh, I so miss dancing!  What’s happened to me, that I am not in dance class?  Why have I not gotten my butt into a studio, or back to Israeli dancing?  This is the big question in my mind right now….

Perhaps I’ve been caught-up in the flurry of activity that employs me on all my various websites, blogs and channels?  Maybe I am just on a big, delusional ego trip, feeding off of my audience’s praise and encouragement, with no time for anything else but gorging my fat head on the kudos I receive, but to what end?  Where is this all leading? 

In my zeal to be who “I AM”, it appears that I am losing (or maybe even lost) a very vital part of my core?  How does one balance their spiritual side with their sensual side?  How has Leonard Cohen, Bono, Madonna, Angelina Jolie and other creatives like these people, found the way to stike the balance?  Not that I am equal to any of them, talent-wise, but you understand what I am getting at here, right?  Maybe not?….I’ll explain.

This past week on my blog The ARTisT iN YOU, I posted two entries: Pondering Making Big Changes & The Follow Up post with my reader’s replies.  In those posts, I ask my readers this question:

Do you think that my sensuality and the presentation of myself thus, will hinder my ability to achieve my mission in inspiring the world to be more creative and to find their artistic souls?

Inspiring individuals to tap their creative core is PART ONE of my life’s mission; PART TWO goes hand-in-hand with PART ONE and will be my endeavors to unify thus artists in creative colaborations for the benefit of the needy–orphans, widows, hungry & homeless. (In accordance with Isaiah 58.)  Bono, Angelina Jolie, and many other musicians, politicians and actors are out there giving their time, money and voices to not only raise awareness on these global issues, but more, they WANT TO SOLVE THE PROBLEMS FAST!  This is the type of noble activism that I desire to throw myself in to.  But in order to do that, I must have money; funding. 

My friend, Kelly Evans, the Business Tantra GURU I met last year on YouTube, claims that his new Social Networking platform he’s named: SelfPort, will improve socio-economic conditions worldwide; for everyone.  And when SelfPort launches, I will be working with Kelly as one of the first Producers on his site; traveling, networking, organizing events on a global scale and generally promoting the use of his platform.  And I want to insure that before I throw myself into this work, I have found and am implementing the proper balance of spirituality & sensuality.  Because the last thing that I want to do is offend the very people I am trying to reach out to and network with.  Right?

Yesterday while speaking with my Mother-of-Dance, Yoni Yakovee-Carr, she was very kind to tell me the truth of her thoughts about the decisions I am grappling with.  She prefaced her honest declaration by saying that she loves me and she knows very well that my heart is in the right place and too, that even when I am naked in my photos, or dancing in lingerie in my videos, my innocence is evident.  (David Diaz told me basically the same thing; that I am sexy with a naiveness*.) 

And she said that she knows that everything I do, in the way of artistic nude work, is done so not from a place of vulgarity and nastiness, but from that place inside my heart and soul that just wants to be free and to fly uninhibited.  She repeated herself many times, telling me that she knows my intentions and motives are pure and good and that’s because she knows me very well, but not everyone does.  Not everyone who sees my nude images or sexy videos, knows that my heart and soul are pure, and they can easily jump to the wrong conclusion, thus hindering my ability to reach them further. 

How wise she is to bring this to my attention.  I just have not been thinking this through, you understand?  The work I’ve done thus far has been an out-pouring; a natural f-l-o-w and expression of the sensual side of myself that I’ve been nurturing so strongly, the past 18 months since beginning my job as a Glamour Masseuse.

~BREAK~

 Stay tuned for the finish of this vlog…..I got behind and had to prepare for work, then flaked out and ran to the mountains for a retreat, come what may.  The city is clearly driving me CRAZY and I must find relief FAST!! 

PART II Of This Vlog: Ditching Work & Running To The Mountains! I am preparing to work on it tonight, but don’t expect it tonight, as I am TIRED!

 Good Night. :)  5:47pm  in San Diego, on a Friday night, February 29th, 2008–Leap Year.