The TV Zone

Readers really should check out my colleague Diane Werts' terrific write-up on "Oprah's Big Give" in Sunday's paper, and online right now. Read it carefully before you decide to devote an hour of your time Sunday night to this show. Heed the words, and then you may decide as I did: Zzzzzzz.

Oh, it's not bad, this "Big Give" from the Big O. Just derivative: Oprah-meets-"The Apprentice"-meets-"Extreme Makeover (The Oprah Edition!)."

Oh, it's not ugly. The contestants are beauties for the most part, chosen for their telegenics as much as their entrepreneurial moxy.

Oh, it's not manipulative - not TOO much, anyway. Who can be cynical around a woman whose husband was murdered or some sad soul who's homeless? Just when you want to bash the set, these tragic tales are trotted out.

And (oh), it's not boring - just amazingly busy. So busy that you'll lose track of who's who, and why we were supposed to care in the first place.

In other words, skip it. But here's a question though: Doesn't O have enough to do, between electing a future president, and launching a Youtube channel, and producing a network radio show, and movies, and reading/promoting books with a thousand pages, and starring in that little daily TV show of hers...?

To not love Oprah is - in some strange, indefinable way - almost WRONG. She insists that we love her, and the culture insists that we love her, and yes, I guess we do love her. But seriously, O: Enough. Take a break. This hyperactivity feels very needy, and - don't worry - we'll still love you in the morning if you just dial down.

Today's video is a tribute to Mike Smith, the lead singer of the Dave Clark 5, who passed away yesterday -- just two weeks shy of seeing his British Invasion band being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Here's a rare newsreel from the band's first U.S. visit in 1964, including knockout performances of "Glad All Over" and "Because."

With so little that’s truly fresh finding its way to network prime-time anymore, you hate to see a scripted series that’s actually ambitious and relevant getting pushed to the back burner.

But that’s what happens this weekend with “Aliens in America,” the CW comedy that used to air in Monday’s 8 p.m. hour, but has now -- to make room for more of those oh-so-profound “reality” programs -- been shunted to the CW’s little-watched Sunday lineup (8:30 on CW/11).

New episodes arrive this weekend and continue through spring, so you can still watch “Aliens” take a swing at great things. Sometimes it whiffs, and sometimes its technique is a little immature, I admit. But what other series dares to plop a Muslim Pakistani teenager into the white-bread midwest of suburban Wisconsin, where two confounded cultures get to learn to get along with each other?

While so many of the reality shows with which The CW now lavishes us (Monday’s “Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious”?) are superficial and mean-spirited, “Aliens” shows folks opening their hearts -- and yes, their minds -- where they don’t have to and maybe don’t want to. Exchange student Raja (Adhir Kalyan) brings a broader world to high school host Justin (Dan Byrd) and family (especially mom Amy Pietz). And Raja learns to understand where Americans are coming from, while still upholding his own firm cultural/religious beliefs.

“Aliens” employs a heightened comic reality that some viewers have found too simplistic, the Americans being ignorant boobs, the Pakistani boy offering precocious wisdom, and most of it being delivered through juvenile antics. But that’s not always true. And it’s certainly not the point. As in its equally warm kid-centered lead-in, “Everybody Hates Chris” (now airing Sundays at 8), people are people, no matter who or what (or where) they are. Instead of fearing the unfamiliar, or jumping to cliched conclusions, these characters celebrate curiosity, compassion and the commonality of us all.

And in this TV era where people are increasingly judged on their looks, celebrity or game-playing ruthlessness, a little slice-of-life centered on the soul is a gift that shouldn’t be overlooked.

[CW photo above: Adhir Kalyan as Raja, Scott Patterson as Gary, Dan Byrd as Justin in "Aliens in America."]

Ya know, I don't often confess to this sort of thing - being the sort of fellow who watches TV with a jaundiced eye, and fully expecting the worst and often getting the worst. But last night's 44 minutes of "Lost" were among the most satisfying forty-four minutes in front of the tube in my life.

It wasn't merely a brilliant episode, which pushed the Mythology forward more rapidly and richly than any episode in my memory, but it was an emotional release. This, I say, by way of explaining that I actually cried when Penny and Desmond finally - finally, oh God, FINALLY - connected. Yes, what a silly ass I am - shedding a couple of hot tears over a reunion we've been waiting a year for, when the world is going to hell, and the economy along with it, and Newsday whacking 120 jobs...Yet here I am, blubbering over Penny and Desmond.

"I love you," said Desmond.

"I love you too," said Penny.

"Me, too, me TOO," said a silly ass who pretends to be a TV critic.

Oh what a fool am I, but who cares? This is why we watch TV - to escape the follies of our daily existence, and no TV show I can think of has more successfully achieved that standard - OK, maybe "The Sopranos," maybe "The Wire," maybe... - than this one.

There wasn't one, single, solitary false note, or at least nothing that let us momentarily try to reconcile Desmond's past history on "Lost" with his time-travel toggling last night. It was an episode in and of itself, pulling in just enough back story to enrich that spectacular climax. (And that wonderful off-key endnote, when Faraday stares at the piece of paper and learns that HIS "constant" will be Desmond.)

As always, "Lost" was a joyous hall of mirrors that forces the viewer to navigate - mentally - off-screen to understand, or attempt to understand, the maze (rat's maze! another wonderful touch) of references and links.

Minkowski? Our dearly departed communications man? Named for the German mathematician who - to quote "Lostpedia," which as usual is the indispensable source for such matters - created the "hyper-dimensional manifold in which Einstein's equations for special relativity are perfectly solvable."

Hyper...huh, whaaa??? That strange outgrowth of quantum mechanics which establishes, sort of, that we exist simultaneously, in different realms of "realities," hence hyper-reality.

Now you're crying too. I'm sorry. But I hope you see my point: That there's nothing like "Lost" on TV, never has been, never will be, and four seasons in, that I still care so deeply means a.) That I need to get a life; or b.) These guys are doing something right.

The first pro is gone: Robbie Carrico, as you probably know, got the boot last night, but he's the first of "Idol's" professional-rich crop this season to find little favor with the fans.

Others gone: Alaina Whitaker, Jason Yeager, and Alexandrea Lushington. We're down to sixteen now.

Carrico a surprise? Not entirely, given the faux-rocker-I-wanna-be-Daughtry performances (and especially Tuesday night's pan by Simon) whose "Hot-Blooded" left everyone cold-blooded. Plus, voters may have been distracted by the raging hair debate: real or fake? It's REALLY hard to concentrate on a performance when you're studying the roots.

Nevertheless, Robbie knew how to do this, and he should: He was a member of "Boyz N Girlz United," which used to open (I understand) for Britney. He is, or was, also part of "Idol's" concerted effort to lift the quality of the field this season by salting in seasoned pros/or highly experienced and polished neophytes. Not that there's anything wrong with that (other than the fact that I always foolishly assumed this was an amateur competition), but the two current front-runners are also of that breed. You could argue, I suppose, that Joanne Borgella - also gone last week - was a "pro" too, but her background was in modeling/acting. Amy Davis? Also a model (Maxim...)

Lushington? Too bad. I liked her. Whitaker, too - girl next door type, and howabout that make-up job Wednesday. Yeager? Si was way too hard on this kid; yeah, it may have been a lounge lizard croon act, but he had a good voice and decent stage presence. Life goes on, but sorta wished he had too...

In any event, let's say goodbye to Robbie in style: He's a clip from the Boyz N Girlz days, and better days - apparently - they were. Plus, no wig:

"quarterlife?" What? You didn't watch it the other night? Neither did 297 million other Americans, which is why it's being shunted over to Bravo from NBC - which plucked it (so to speak) from Myspace.

What's "quarterlife?" It got a lot of ink during the strike in part because of its provenance (the web) and its auteurs (including Marshall Herskovitz, TV/movie scribe superstar.) But it then got a one-night try-out on Wednesday, was seen by just over 3 million viewers (the debate, yes, the debate got more than twice as many viewers), and the hook was produced.

By the way, it's not a bad show - a little too cute and tiresome perhaps, and kind of a rip-off of "iCarley," which had the idea of kids producing their own webcast last fall. Plus, why isn't the "q" capitalized? (cuz it's a web show - get it?) Oh well - it'll work fine on bravo, i imagine.

Major-shakeup-at-WNBC/4 alert!

Dan Forman, the top news director and a Channel 4 vet who oversaw the recent overhaul of the early evening news, has been ousted. He'll stick around until the end of March, per a memo sent out by station boss, Frank Comerford.

While hardly as important to Ch. 4 as Chuck/Sue (though Sue has lately been dropped somewhat from that linkage), Forman's been the captain of this ship for years (and he was once Howard Stern's producer.) His most recent gambit - dropping Sue Simmons off the early evening (she's back on 5 and has remained at 11) while letting Chuck S. run solo.

Problem is, numbers. They're awful.

Chuck's 7 p.m. solo shot in February, for example, got only 249,000 viewers; at 6, NBC was seen by ONLY 248,000 viewers. Keep in mind, friends. This is New York City - the biggest apple in the barrel, and only 248,000? Which is EVEN less than Ch. 41 (280,000)?

The local news market got hit hard in February sweeps overall, (although there were isolated bright spots for Ch. 2.)

How does this affect Chuck and Sue? We await...

(Above, is Sue happy about all this?)

Yeah, yeah - everyone might automatically assume Fox would be the first out the box to do a primetime special on William F. Buckley, and in fact it will - this Saturday at 10, in a David Asman-hosted hour.

But what's so surprising is a.) why only an hour? and b.) why on Saturday (late)? WFB's the patron saint of conservatism, for crying out loud, and FNC is, well, FNC. Per Fox: "During this program, FNC will show never-before-seen interviews with Buckley detailing his 60 years in the conservative movement and will feature interviews with some of the most influential figures in the conservative moment who discuss the impact Buckley had on them, America and the world."

Every weekday at lunchtime, Boomer TV will post a video that we hope will amuse you while you're scarfing down your sandwich.

This morning, the local oldies radio station played "Get a Job" by the Silhouettes, which was the No. 1 song in the USA 50 years and one month ago, although I haven't heard it in years It's one of the funniest rock and roll songs ever and also spawned the immortal debate: Did these one-hit wonders from Philly sing "sha da da da" or "sha na na na" (from which the '50s revival band reportedly took its name)?

(Of course, if you're old enough to remember this song, you'd probably be considered too old to actually get a job today. But I digress.)

Here's a TV performance of the group, although I'm unclear of what show this was taken from.

Big week in soapland. On Friday, CBS’ “Guiding Light” goes to a new production model of shooting on-location and in more realistic four-walled sets with handheld cameras, trying to freshen the look of the uber-traditional daytime drama genre.

And this Thursday afternoon at 3, ABC’s “General Hospital” starts climaxing its big Text Message Killer story by employing movie-like special effects to portray victims dangling from rooftops and cars plunging off bridges.

“GH” dabbled in these effects in its late-night SOAPnet spinoff “Night Shift,” and now the green-screen/CGI process makes its way to daytime. If it flies with producers and viewers, the low-budget soaps would be able to stretch their production dollars without costly night/location shoots or crashes/explosions.

“GH” is well-positioned to take advantage of Hollywood effects, since it shoots in a sprawling old movie studio there. (“All My Children” and “One Life to Live” work in cramped Manhattan stages.) Helping create the Text Message Killer climax (running over at least the next three episodes) was Stargate Digital, a visual effects company that also works on such high-profile projects as “Heroes,” “ER” and “Nightmares and Dreamscapes.” Stargate also creates "Ugly Betty's" Manhattan and Queens exterior “location” shots on Hollywood soundstages. (Look real, don’t they?)

See “GH” before and after examples below.

And if you catch their work on “GH” this week, let us know what you think.

Before I get to the meat of this quick blog, one quick observation about last night's "Idols" women edition: Wow. They're all, or mostly all, damn good. You can whine or moan or wheeze or blow about "style" or "pitch" or whatever, but still - wow. This is probably the best "Idol" crew in memory - an infinite improvement over last season. I could easily add a couple asterisks to this assessment - yeah, there were some weak performances, but nothing horrendous.

But let's get to this other observation: The Ones To Beat? They'll be beaten. (By the way, please check out the comments - I got some smart and thoughtful reactions to this blog, and you may well agree with them...)

I am amused by Simon's glowing tributes the last two nights to David Archuleta and Carly Smithson. You're the ones to beat! His direct quote re: Carly: "I don't think the other girls can touch you..."

But comments like this consign the recipient to...well, you know what. An exit.

Here's why. First, forget that these two contestants are in fact marvelous - they're SUPPOSED to be, as part of "Idol's" concerted effort to avoid dogs making it into the final rounds (as has happened too frequently in recent years.) They are top notch...they are budding pros...Smithson (as you all know) WAS a pro...and Archie is so good he could have easily taken the traditional route of agent/to-role-on-"iCarly" (or one of those shows)/to record deal.

We call that the Ashley Tisdale route.

But here's the thing, friends. When You're the One To Beat, you're the one people ultimately don't end up voting for. They assume you've already GOT the vote, so why bother?

We call this The Melinda Doolittle Syndrome.

She was the greatest singer in "Idol" history, by far. She was indeed the Great One.

Where O' where is Mel now?

Here's my choice of the one to beat: Brooke White.

But what do I know.

(Above, Brooke White, the real one to beat?)

The biggest "Idol" news of the year broke yesterday, and some of us are now left to wonder: Did Michael Jackson have something to do with this?

Ryan Seacrest broke that news on his radio show yesterday morning, saying that Sony/ATV has FINALLY given "American Idol" the rights to perform songs from the Beatles' catalog.

That's just under 200 songs, and some of them - OK, many of them - the greatest of the 20th century.

It's a huge break for "Idol" (as if "Idol" needs a huge break) because it has tried to get 'em for years but has met resistance for reasons both mysterious and obscure. "When the Top 12 sing for the first time this season, it will be the music of Lennon and McCartney," top boss Nigel Lythgoe told Seacrest (as quoted in RealityTVworld.com.) "We've given them a list because it's all of the early songs -- from 'I Want to Hold Your Hand' to 'Got to Get You Into My Life.' These fantastic songs. It's one of the few areas that everybody knows."

Why now, after all the foot-dragging? Said Lythgoe, "I think it was the talent this year. They see that it's real talent, and hear it. Everyone's so good this season, that they're saying, 'Yeah, go ahead. Sing the songs.'"

Well...ummm...ahhh...As we say in the TV trade, that sounds bogus (no offense, Nigel.) Money certainly changed hands - lots and lots of green - and the banks apparently are about to auction off Neverland, so...back to that question about MJ.

Yes, the first thought you may have, or at least I did: What did Michael Jackson have to do with this? Neverland was, in fact, scheduled to go to auction in mid-March but CNN is now reporting that Jacko has kept the wolves at the door by raising a loan and will now avoid foreclosure.

Jackson appeared poised to sell his share of the catalog (total value around half a billion, with 251 songs, although Lythgoe used the 180 figure) back to Sony a couple of years ago. Because of the legal problems, the gloved one's financial condition was so desperate that it looked like he was about to part with one of the world's greatest cultural treasures. There was a flurry of press at the time (2005) that it was even a fait accompli.

But...it's unclear whether he actually ever did sell.

If sold, he likely had nothing to do with the "Idol" Beatles deal; if not sold, maybe he did, and "Idol" has saved Neverland.

I'll try to get to the bottom of this curious story, sports fans.

In any event, yesterday's coincidence is certainly interesting...

Illustration, top: Günter Edlinger

I've followed MSNBC a lot of years - early years, promising years, fat years, then the bad years, which frankly have been just about all the years. (Remember Jesse Ventura? Phil Donahue...?? Ratings you couldn't find with the Hubble Telescope?)

So it's fitting that I call attention to the best night in MSNBC history, which happened just last night. Yes, there was a debate, and yes, a lot of people have been interested in these debates. But this performance is still extraordinary: 7.8 million people tuned in, which is just astounding for any network that's spelled with these five letters. It was the third biggest debate audience to date. Here's network boss Phil Griffin kvelling in a press release - he's entitled:

"Voters are incredibly engaged and passionate about the presidential election; it's one of the most exciting in history. I'm proud that millions of viewers were able to experience the most anticipated debate of the season on MSNBC. This is an exciting time for MSNBC, and numbers like these show that our work in establishing the network as the place for politics over the past two years has paid off."

Long before there was Bill O'Reilly, or - for that matter - long before there was SeanhannityKeithOlbermannChrisMatthews or any other talking head who makes his living by slinging words with bite (or bile) there was William F. Buckley, Jr.

We like to offer our own parochial views here at TV Zone when something momentous happens (you know the drill - how was TELEVISION involved in that major event that just took place). But you really don't have to stretch too far when it comes to Buckley, who has died at the age of 82. Most people - fleetingly in recent years - tend to have thought of him as that stiff-upper-lipped tight-jawed Connecticut Yankee Brahmin (and staunch Roman Catholic who probably frowned at Vatican II.) If they thought a little harder, they might have realized that with astounding verbal dexterity and an authorial prolixity that was both hurculean and borderline absurd (novels! autobiographies! magazines!) he redefined the Conservative Movement. But if they thought just a little bit further after THAT, they also realized this: He redefined TV too.

Over thirty-three years, "Firing Line," and by association, its host, symbolized public TV almost as much as "Masterpiece Theatre" or Fred Rogers. With his brilliance and erudition, Buckley forged a country's - maybe even an entire world's - image of American conservatism; he made the "movement" respectable and even (if this is possible) INTELLECTUAL. Hence, the power of TV. There's certainly much, much to remember about WFB and "FL" (and my thanks to Wikipedia for jogging my memory): It actually began at Ch. 9 before shifting to Ch.13, while Jeff Greenfield, Mark Green and Michael Kinsley appeared frequently over the years as well. It was civilized if not always civil, while watching Buckley mumble his questions, and fold those bandy legs of his, created indelible sounds and images to last a lifetime. Went off the air just as the last century came to a close.

Here's a vintage clip that can give you a sense of the style; it's a little jumpy,but there's Bill debating Noam Chomsky. Imagine ANYONE - O'Reilly, let's say - debating Noam Chomsky these days?! But that's the kind of show this was. Charlie Rose may, in fact, owe far more to this style than any of the cable gunslingers, but they are all indebted.

I really don't want to get in the habit of directing all those readers that we fight hard for here in TV Zone over to some other entertainment website, but - Lord - this one I can't resist. We now have it on very good authority - TMZ, natch - that Robbie Carrico's long blond tresses are actually...FAKE.

Another "Idol" controversy!

TMZ claims it has "learned" the hair is a wig, which effectively concludes a debate that's been raging on "My Idol" forums for days.
To wit, real or, umm, polyester?

And if fake, then what lies under that mountain of hair? A perfectly polished dome? A mohawk? Or - perhaps - purple-died tresses, which might conceivably deter elder ladies (for example) from voting for him?

When you wake up the morning of March 20, make sure you put on a sweater.

That's because March 20 would have been Fred Rogers' 80th birthday. So to mark the occasion, the day is being promoted as “Sweater Day” to honor the kids' TV pioneer's tradermark apparel.

“Sweater Day” will cap a six-day celebration planned by Family Communications Inc. of Pittsburgh. Rogers created the company to produce "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood."

David Newell, who played speedy deliveryman Mr. McFeely on the
show, appears in this video that touts the event:

.

You can’t say HBO isn’t trying to support its fascinating new weeknightly shrink drama “In Treatment” with a variety of viewing options. But you can say it’s mind-boggling trying to figure them out.

In addition to each night’s new half-hour 9:30 p.m. episode on the main HBO channel -- Gabriel Byrne’s psychiatrist sees Melissa George on Monday, Blair Underwood [above with Byrne in HBO photo] on Tuesday, Mia Wasikowska on Wednesday, Josh Charles and Embeth Davidtz on Thursday, and Dianne Wiest as his own therapist on Friday -- the series repeats the previous week’s episode/session as a 9 p.m. lead-in. Then HBO repeats the pair at 11 and 11:30 p.m. that night.

Meanwhile, the HBO Signature digital channel runs a day behind for laggards. For instance, Tuesday’s Underwood episodes encore Wednesday at 8 and 8:30 p.m. on HBO Signature.

Then comes the weekend. HBO2 repeats the entire week’s new episodes Saturday 10 p.m.-12:30 a.m. The main HBO channel runs the same mini-marathon Sunday 6:30-9 p.m.

HBO Signature runs an entire week’s episodes, too, on Sunday nights at 9. Except those are three weeks behind. So immediately after the main HBO channel compiles Week Five this Sunday (March 2), you can flip to HBO Signature to watch Week Two.

And don’t forget: The main HBO airings are simulcast on HBO HD and HBO Latino, the latter in Spanish.

P.S.: HBO On Demand viewers can watch any episode from all previous five weeks any time they want.

P.P.S.: Did we mention the two-minute recaps at HBO's web site?

Hope this helps. But I doubt it.

Yes, we're all talking about that made-for-TV moment in last night's debate when Hill suggested that maybe Obama get another comfy pillow, just so he's really comfortable.
It was a segue - and doubtless, pre-cooked - line referring to the "SNL" "debate" open this past Saturday, when cast-members masquerading as debate moderators knelt on bended knee before their hero, Obama. (Funny, though - duh - hardly accurate.) Well, it's worth noting that Tim Russert took a swipe at the implications of the skit, as well as Hill's agreement that she always does get the first question, on this morning's "Today." (By getting the first question in a debate, it's presumably an advantage for the other contestant because he or she then has time to think out a response - hence favoritism by reporters towards Obama.)

Tim said that the "first question charge" was BS: Re that Putin question that came in the last section of the debate, he said "I didn't direct it at either - she LIKES to answer the [first] question."

But what do you expect Tim to say? He's obviously in the Obama camp. Hey! A suggestion: Maybe for the 21st debate, Tim should square off opposite Tina Fey.
(Above: Tim, left, thinks there's no moderator bias; Tina, right, obviously has other ideas, if Saturday's "SNL" is any indication.)

OK, sports fans: After all these months, we can finally, officially, absolutely (positively) declare the writers strike over.

The contract approved a couple weeks ago went out the general membership for a vote, and it came back resoundingly approved. And that, as they say, is that. (I remain, however, perplexed at the relative low number of votes casts - less than half the total WGA membership...but it's still all over.)

Here's the official letter from the bosses of the WGA, received just moments ago:

To Our Fellow Members:

Today, it is our pleasure to inform you that members of the Writers Guilds of America, East and West, have voted to ratify the MBA contract with 93.6% approval. With a total of 4,060 votes cast, the tally was 3,802 to 258. These numbers reaffirm the tremendous level of support and commitment our membership has continuously demonstrated over these last few crucial months.

We are also pleased to report that the trustees of our health fund voted yesterday to follow the recommendation in our strike settlement agreement to provide additional coverage and an extension of the earnings cycle for a full quarter (three months) to participants who would otherwise lose health coverage following an earnings cycle that included all or a portion of the strike period. Participants whose health coverage is paid for by points will only be charged points if they have ten or more points as of April 1, 2008.

As we close this chapter in our union's history, what we together have accomplished should not be underestimated. The 2008 MBA establishes a beachhead on the Internet and in new media that will guarantee our share of a potentially vast and bountiful future. Writers already are working on new media projects under this agreement and residuals must now be paid for streaming and downloads of our library of films and TV shows.

Language in the contract will allow us to monitor and audit these new technologies and new business models, but it will take vigilance on the part of our membership to make sure that original Internet writing is done under a WGA contract and with appropriate terms and conditions.

The same sort of vigilance will be needed to assist members of SAG and AFTRA. They are about to go through a similar process to the one we experienced. Their support of our cause was invaluable. We must use all our efforts and experience to support them as well. Further gains that they can achieve will have an immediate, positive effect on our contract.

We must take our newfound spirit and unity and use it to move our two unions forward. We look to the future and our newly revitalized member engagement to reaffirm writers as the first among equals in the most collaborative art form in history. As the last few weeks proved once and for all, we are all in this together.

Best,

Michael Winship

President

Writers Guild of America, East

Patric M. Verrone

President

Writers Guild of America, West

(Above, Verrone, right, Winship, left. Courtesy: Variety)

"30 Rock" fans have to wait until April 10 -- that's 44 more days, darn it -- until we get to see a fresh episode.

However, fans of Kenneth (Jack McBrayer), the page who's all the rage, can get a chance now to see him strut his stuff -- in a snippet of "Touch My Body," the new video from Harborfields' own Mariah Carey.

Thanks to the amy's robot blog for tipping us off.

You know and I know and pretty much everyone else knows that ratings stories are kinda boring unless they're the Oscars or something to do with P. Diddy. Since this is about the latter, we proceed: Last night's "special" presentation of "A Raisin in the Sun" was seen by 12.7 million, which easily helped ABC win the night AND turn in the network's best Monday this year. Monday - when not propped by "DWTS" - has been a tough night for the Alphabet. And - in fact - the whole idea of "movie of the week" has turned into one of the late, great anachronisms of the network TV biz. Not that "Raisin" is or was an "MOW" - it was a "special" based on a classic with some other very famous names attached (Phylicia Rashad, Audra McDonald.) Nevertheless, one never knows how these things might turn out... After the horrific Oscars performance, ABC got a little ray of sun last night, pun intended. (Above: From the Broadway production.)

Sunday’s snoozer of an Academy Awards telecast took a nosedive in the Nielsens -- losing more than 8 million viewers from last year's show and 24 percent of its adults 18-49 audience.

More about the numbers here.

It does appear that MyNetworkTV will finally have a program that will actually get some sort of rating: The WWE and the Ch.9-based web just announced that "Smackdown" will launch as a weekly two-hour show this fall.

Here's the spin from the press release: “WWE SmackDown” will feature a star-studded cast of WWE Superstars, including Edge®, Rey Mysterio®, Batista®, MVP™, Kane® and Undertaker®, as well as present all the action, excitement, drama and great athleticism that have made it for nine years one of the most popular programs among males on broadcast television, and one of the top ten English language prime time programs among Hispanic households."

Don't you just love it that people like Rey Mysterio have actually trademarked their names? I mean, who's gonna infringe on "Undertaker...?"

But I digress: You'll notice that WWE did not mention the CW in their press release, and my hunch is that they'd like to pretend their longtime TV partner doesn't exist. The CW dropped the WWE recently (like Batista dropped MVP...or whatever.) Too much money apparently (reportedly $700,000 per "Smackdown" telecast.)

You'll also notice that WWE/My didn't mention a night: I'd expect something other than Friday, and probably midweek. But that's a wild guess.

(Above: Rey Mysterio and WWE about to land at MyNetworkTV.)

Is it possible that last night's telecast of the Academy Awards was the lowest viewed in TV history?

Yes, it's possible, but...

We can tell you this much: The telecast of the “80th Annual Academy Awards” was seen by an average audience of 32 million viewers. That is, in fact, the lowest figure since Nielsen began tabulating total viewers all the way back to 1975. For the most part, it ain't even close: Last year's show was seen by 40.2 million, and the year before, 38.9 million (when "Crash" won best picture.) "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King" Oscar night (43.5 million; 2/29/04) was the high-water mark of the decade, unless you like to start your decade in 2000, when the "American Beauty" broadcast topped out at 46 million. "Titanic" (on March 23, '98, was the high-water mark of the last couple decades, when 55 million tuned in.)

"Chicago" (3/23/03) was 'til now, the low-water mark, with 33 million viewers.

Now, back to our trivia question: Lowest EVER? It's tricky to answer because Nielsen didn't tabulate "viewers" but only households in the prehistoric days of TV (pre-'75), yet the Oscars telecasts were routinely among the year's most viewed programs - or at least one can easily surmise from the available data. For much of the '50s and '60s, Oscar telecasts often scored ratings in the high 40s, while shares (the percentage of audience that's actually tuned into something) occasionally soared into the '70s. On March 19, 1953, the show even got an 82 share! Of course, viewership was probably no where near 30 million because TVs (after all) had only begun their widespread penetration a few years earlier - in '47-48 - when the first network shows were broadcast.

So, I guess we've answered our own question: NOT the lowest viewed.

But good Lord, what HAPPENED? By any measure, last night's show was a bomb. Some quickie theories:

1.) Too boring and overlong (see reviews, below.)

2.) Jon Stewart is swell, but no Johnny Carson (or, gulp, even Whoopi.)

3.) No one had ever seen the movies, and the movies they did see - "There Will be Blood!!" - were not exactly the sort one cheers for at Oscar time.

4.) Everyone in the potential viewing audience had heard for so many months that the writers strike was gonna derail the big show, they decided (what the hell), don't bother to watch anyway.

5.) Everyone was assuming Billy Bush was going to be the MC of this one as well.

6.) Jack Nicholson was sober (shows seem to get much higher ratings when he attends several pre-awards parties, for some reason.)

(Above: Bang-bang. You're dead. Oscars loves "No Country for Old Men" but viewers do no reciprocate. And how.)

Yes, that WAS Valley Stream's own Fred Armisen in the role of Barack Obama Saturday night, but now the question (s): Was he, is he, should he be...the right choice?

Here's the replay, and if you haven't seen, definitely worth watching...

Meanwhile, my colleague at ChiTrib, Mo Ryan, has sparked an interesting debate on this question, and it's worth checking out as well. Her question: Couldn't "SNL" have found a black comedian to do this? She got a huge response, and most people, who provided their own capsule reviews, said - doesn't matter. Take it away, Mo...

If you're a fan of "The Honeymooners" (and who isn't?), we have some good news and less good news about the Greatest Sitcom of Them All.

WPIX/11 announced today that it will begin airing every "Hooneymooners" episode (108 of 'em, not just the classic 39) based on a viewers' choice poll, starting Sunday, March 16.

That's the good news (although for diehard Mooner Maniacs, the classic 39 are all that matter).

Now the less-good news: The episodes will air from 1-2 a.m. late Sunday/early Monday. So that means unless you're a sleepwalking insominiac like Ed Norton, you're gonna have to fire up the DVR. (Or maybe this hour is homage to "The Late Late Late Show" that Ralph and Ed watched during the classic "TV or Not TV" episode.)

Starting on March 7, you can go to CW11.com to vote for your favorite episodes. Each week, the two episodes with the most votes will air in the Viewer’s Choice Hour. If you can’t remember the title, CW11.com will feature a short clip from all 108 episodes (with title, cast and summary information) on the voting page.

Each week, viewers can log on and vote for the two episodes they want to see on air that weekend. On Sunday nights, back-to-back-episodes of the top two vote-getters will air. Once an episode has aired it will be removed from the polls and all episodes will air only once.

We'll take Ralph, Ed, Alice and Trixie where we can (and we are grateful for Ch.11's "Honeymooners" marathons). But there are still some of us out there who remember when Ch. 11 aired "The Honeymooners" every weeknight at 11:30.

How about you? Which two "Hooneymooners" would you vote for?

As for our favorites, we'll take the aforementioned "TV or Not TV" and "The $99,000 Answer."

Wake me when it’s over. The Academy Awards not only went on and on last night, but went nowhere. They solved the writers’ strike to salvage this?

At least it wasn’t the writers’ fault. The producers and other ultimate decision-makers of this year’s Oscarcast made such brilliant choices as to kick off the night with the award for costume design -- excuse me, everybody knows you start with one of the supporting acting awards -- and went downhill from there. (For the record, it wasn’t till 45 minutes in that Spanish actor Javier Bardem won best supporting actor for “No Country for Old Men.”)

Even when they tried to do interesting things, they did them badly. The intercut clips of vintage winners’ reminiscences -- clearly a leftover from strike plans to fill time with anythingeverything -- were not only half-hearted, but half-brained. Barbra Streisand talks about the wild tie on the night she won for “Funny Girl,” and you don’t say whom she tied with? (Katharine Hepburn in 1968’s “The Lion in Winter.”) A montage of great on-stage Oscar moments builds to the climax of Charlie Chaplin getting his honorary award in 1972, and there’s no context, no mentioning his enormous impact on the industry in its infancy, and no backstory that he’d been run out of the country by the 1950s communist witchhunt and hadn’t set foot here in two decades? For that matter, there was no perspective given to Sidney Poitier remembering his historic 1963 win for “Lilies of the Field,” the first lead trophy for a black performer, in the heat of the civil rights movement.

This was an Oscars for the insiders, not movie fans. You had to know why you were watching what you were watching. And you had to have seen the nominated films, which this year were hardly big-time crowdpleasers. We can’t say host Jon Stewart and his writers didn’t warn us, kicking off the proceedings with a joke about nominating “psychopathic killer movies. Thank god for teen pregnancy” was the punchline of that (referencing best script winner “Juno”), which made clear what kind of night we were fated to suffer.

And then there was Jack Nicholson, the Oscarcast director’s great fallback, seen preening in sunglasses as a Hollywood “character” whose persona was cool, maybe, 25 years ago. Yet he’s still in the front row for no reason, in sunglasses for no reason, a joke target for the reason of laziness. (Do they not know that to a younger generation he just seems a dirty old man?) Please. Stop it. Stop it now.

The best moments were, pretty much the antithesis of I-am-hip Jack, the spontaneous, heartfelt ones. The honorary Oscar to 98-year-old production designer Robert Boyle, whose speech was a valentine to the art of movies, not the industry, also included a clip reel so wide-ranging as to be awe-inspiring -- from such 1940s classics as “Saboteur” through the ’60s suspenser “The Birds” on to John Wayne’s 1976 valedictory western “The Shootist” and up to the 1987 parody “Dragnet.“ Boyle was elegant, and eloquent. [At right: Boyle's work on "North by Northwest."]

Jon Stewart shone, too, when he became not a joke teller but an honest reactor. Clearly moved by the best song Oscar to Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova (“Once”), he not only admired their excited humility (“Wow, that guy is so arrogant,” he deadpanned in wonder) but brought back Irglova after the commercial break to finish her acceptance speech cut off by the keep-it-moving orchestra.

But then it was almost another hour of filler -- documentary short subject, as time runs down? -- before the “biggies” of best actor, director, picture. Any time this Oscarcast seemed about to gain momentum, another wacky producers’ decision would strangle it. But then the year in movies pretty much did the same thing. Sorry, but Americans tend toward the parochial, and most movie fans are just not going to care about Englishman Daniel Day-Lewis (he beat George Clooney and Johnny Depp!) or France’s Marion Cotillard or Spain’s Bardem or Britain’s Tilda Swinton. Even the animated feature winner had a foreign name (“Ratatouille”).

Maybe next year. Wake me up for it.

That was no broadcast for old men. But then it never is. Ending late, sometimes with the rising sun, Oscars telecasts tend to bring out the worst in critics, who look for any reason to hate the show and find the ceaseless nature of this beast the most convenient one.

But me? No. Not me. This one ended at around a quarter to twelve which is sort of like a reprieve - an unexpected and thoroughly welcome early release for good behavior. Whom to thank? Not just Jon Stewart, who was in fact brisk. Not just the writers' strike which meant (I'm spitballing here, of course) that writers didn't have enough time to over-write this thing. It was helpful that most of the winners didn't speak English. One tends to be gloriously brief in one's acceptance speech when one tends not to understand a word of what one is saying.

But we should be deeply, eternally grateful to Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, "No Country for Old Men" winners over and over and over. I think they got up on stage fifteen times, or something like that. Each instance, Joel said about ten words, Ethan just two ("thank you.") They're kind of like the Penn and Teller of directors - Ethan's Teller, of course. It must be that austere Minnesota temperament, but Ethan - shorter of stature and words - is the perfect, or at least, ideal winner. Imagine if these two were the type of winner who needs to thank every aunt and uncle four generations back? Last night's show wouldn't end until Wednesday. If these guys were also actors, writers and set designers, they woulda won those awards too and we'd have all been in bed by 10.

What of Stewart? For the most part, pretty good. His monologue (you can always tell whether a show will be excruciating, depending on these five minutes) was solid and often funny. Discriminating tastes may have found offense in the Barack Obama/"Gaydolf Titler" line - but such tastes would find offense in anything. I thought he was fine, overall.

Clips? Yeah, a lot and none particularly nourishing (there were too many, given that this was the 80th.) Political jokes? A few (see above) though I can't remember any (from Stewart) with any bite. The writers' strike? Seemed like ancient history - forgotten already, as if nothing had really happened over the last three months. Diablo Cody dedicated her award to the writers; I'm sure they all appreciated the gesture, even though meaningless. Stewart called last night's show "makeup sex," but the broadcast's relative brevity, overall garage-band rougher-around-the-edges feel, and gloom-and-doom nominees/winners list gave the sense that the long enforced period of chastity was even better.

One of TV's classic episodes airs tonight at 8:30 on TV Land.

It's the "I Love Lucy" episode in which Lucy and Ethel go to work making chocolates. The episode first aired on Sept. 15, 1952 and kicked off the show's second season.

The plot is mega-'50s sexist: Ricky and Fred think doing housework is much easier than earning money. Lucy and Ethel feel the opposite. So the guys try doing the housework while the girls attempt to hold down a job working on a candy factory's assembly line

Speed it up, ladies!

Well, every week can’t be last week. After that thrilling Sayid episode, “Lost” calmed itself down last night. No assassinations, forbidden love affairs, shocking betrayals or revelations, really. Even that last-second “reveal” of perhaps another one of the Oceanic Six turned out to be a bit of a dud. Of course, nobody said it had to be a character with tons of dialogue. Or any. (Heh-heh.)

The episode was Kate-centric, which reminds me why the first half of last season was soooo annoying. When love-tangled Kate is supposed to be a catalyst, the show starts shutting down emotionally. (Ironic, no?) That whole Jack-or-Sawyer dilemma was a distraction that drove me batty, and setting it in driving rainstorms in zoo cages didn’t exactly perk things up. Last night’s flash forward to Kate’s post-rescue travails was also numbing stuff. So she’s on trial for killing dear old dad. Is this news? Could it be more blandly delivered? How expressionless can actress Evangeline Lilly get? Ditto Matthew Fox? How anybody can care if these two uptight characters get together or not is beyond me. Put them under fluorescent light, and they’re even more dreary.

And all this futureworld mopery is taking time away from the meaty happenings back on the present-day island. “I’m exactly where I wanna be,” said Miles, the psychic helicopter dude held prisoner by Locke’s tribe, who wanted to speak to former island biggie Ben, another captive. Ken Leung and Michael Emerson may be the two current most interesting actors in this mix, so things could have heated up. But theirs was a fleeting meeting. It was Locke who came between them, though, and Terry O’Quinn is another fascinating soul, proclaiming last night “I’m responsible for the well-being of this island.” Never mind the castaways on it.

There were more hints about the fracturing of the time/space continuum, or alternate realities, or whatever mumbojumbo you wanna call it, with Miles saying to Kate, “Who knows, maybe you didn’t survive the crash.” And the helicopter carrying Sayid and Desmond hasn’t arrived at the supposed rescue boat, even though it left “last night.”

Others can parse the meaning of the $3.2 million dollars Miles tried to blackmail from Ben, and other persnickety clues. My interest will never be that detailed. But the power of the island does intrigue me, along with its ability to shape the societies that exist upon it. Only eight passengers “survived” the crash, we’re told. Does that mean some stayed and some returned to civilization? Did Kate “survive” or not? What the heck IS Ben’s deal? Whassup with Miles and the rest of his study group? And how come future Jack wants to go back?

It can’t be only to screen Hurley’s VHS copy of “Xanadu.”

[Above: Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson in ABC photo from March 6 episode of "Lost."]

Seems Showtime is luring more and more unique talents who made their names at HBO. This may be the biggest.

Edie Falco has signed with Showtime to star in a new “single-camera dark comedy” about an “iconoclastic New York City nurse juggling the frenzied grind of an urban hospital and an equally challenging personal life.”

The personal-life drama she has down, of course, from six seasons of HBO’s “The Sopranos.” But the nurse gig adds a workplace dimension. “My time on ‘The Sopranos’ was so rich and so full, the challenge has been finding something else that would excite me,” Falco said in Showtime’s announcement today. “This character and the writing are truly thrilling.”

Preproduction starts immediately, Showtime says, for shooting to take place in New York. Creators are Liz Brixius and Linda Wallem. And wouldn’t you know it, in addition to writing credits on “That ’70s Show” and “Cybill,” Wallem’s resume also includes producing on Lisa Kudrow’s uncomfortable but underrated HBO comedy “The Comeback.”

Showtime already has a host of HBO refugees. Michael C. Hall of “Six Feet Under” stars now on Showtime’s hit “Dexter.” Sketch comic Tracey Ullman has brought over her chameleon self for a new series premiering March 30 (right after the second season return of “The Tudors”). And the British series sensation “Secret Diary of a Call Girl,” starring “Doctor Who” blonde Billie Piper, was imported for a June 16 Showtime premiere by former HBO programmer turned production packager Chris Albrecht.

Falco's new series should fit right in with the likes of "Weeds" and "Californication" as Showtime continues exploring the far reaches of TV comedy. And let's not forget Showtime was there in the past, too, creating such '80s comedy groundbreakers as "Brothers" and "It's Garry Shandling's Show."

[Above: NBC photo of Edie Falco with Alec Baldwin on "30 Rock" last fall.]

“Heath Ledger: A Tragic End” looks back at the Australia native’s life, busy movie (and TV) career, and Jan. 22 death in Manhattan. E! News’ Jason Kennedy hosts the special Friday (Feb. 22) at 8 p.m. on E!

While the title seems to focus on the 28-year-old actor’s drug-related demise one month ago, E! promises the half-hour also explores his “great risks as an actor, in a kaleidoscope of diverse roles from a conflicted cowboy in ‘Brokeback Mountain’ to the maniacal Joker in the soon to be released ‘Batman the Dark Knight.’”

Some of those roles hit the air this weekend. Ledger plays Mel Gibson’s son in “The Patriot” (Saturday at 2:15 p.m. on 5StarMax, Sunday at 8:15 a.m. on ActionMax), Australian outlaw “Ned Kelly” (Saturday at 10 p.m. on Sundance), and Billy Bob Thornton's prison guard son in “Monster’s Ball” (Sunday at 9:30 a.m. on BIO).

Now we await ABC getting into the game. This week, both NBC and CBS announced massive new web streams of full episodes of vintage TV shows.

NBC.com has launched a Way Back Wednesdays page featuring episodes of such NBC Universal library series as “Miami Vice,” “Emergency,” “Buck Rogers” and “The A-Team.” (Who doesn’t need to see Mr. T in “Mexican Slayride”?)

Sci Fi.com, ChillerTV.com and SleuthChannel.com are other NBC-owned channel sites planned to start vintage streaming this month. Expect shows like “Tek War” and “Night Gallery” (SciFi.com), “The Alfred Hitchcock Hour” and “Swamp Thing” (ChillerTV.com), and “Kojak” and “Simon & Simon” (SleuthChannel.com).

CBS.com’s new Television Classics list taps the CBS Library (vintage Paramount and CBS shows) for episodes of “The Twilight Zone,” “Hawaii Five-O,” “Star Trek” and “Melrose Place.” Even “MacGyver,” for you “MythBusters” fans.

The CBS shows are also available through “more than 300 Web sites currently making up the CBS Audience Network,” says the press release, including “partners such as AOL, Microsoft, CNET Networks, Comcast, Joost, Bebo, Netvibes, Sling Media and Veoh and social application partners including Automattic, Brightcove, Clearspring, DAVE Networks, Goowy Media, meebo, MeeVee, Musestorm, Ning, RockYou!, Slide, VideoEgg, Voxant and vSocial, as well as Web sites from CBS's owned television, radio, and affiliated stations.” (Think they missed anybody?)

But nothing comes free, does it? While these vintage streams don’t cost anything to watch, they do come ad-supported. Sorry, no escaping commercials.

The funniest insult comic to come out of Jackson Heights may be 81, but Don Rickles is still going strong.

And you should never miss an opportunity to see him.

The Merchant of Venom drops by to zap Craig Ferguson on tonight’s “Late Late Show” (CBS/2 at 12:35 a.m.)

The DVD of his great John Landis-directed doc, "Mr. Warmth," hit shelves Tuesday.

And looking forward, Rickles plays North Fork Theatre at Westbury on May 31. (That’s a make-up date from an earlier scheduled show that he canceled due to an injury.)

In the meantime, check out Rickles mixing it up with Johnny Carson in one of the funniest moments in “Tonight Show” history.

Did we forget to list the Fox returnees? (And newbies.) Let us rectify.

Back to You – Original episodes air next Tuesday-Wednesday, Feb. 26-27 at 9:30. But the Kelsey Grammer-Patricia Heaton TV news sitcom then goes away again until Wednesday, April 16’s “time period premiere” at 8:30.

Unhitched – Sunday, March 2 at 9:30 p.m. for new Farrelly Brothers sitcom.

New Amsterdam – Tuesday, March 4 and Thursday, March 6 “preview” episodes of immortal NYC homicide detective; time period premiere is Monday, March 10 at 9.

Canterbury’s Law – Monday, March 10 at 8 p.m., a strangely early hour for Julianna Margulies’ dark NYC-filmed legal hour.

The Return of Jezebel James – Friday, March 14 at 8 p.m. for hour premiere of sisters comedy from “Gilmore Girls” creator Amy Sherman-Palladino; time period premiere Friday, March 21 at 8:30.

’Til Death – Tuesday, March 25 at 9:30 for original episode; time period premiere Wednesday, April 16 at 8 p.m.

Hell’s Kitchen – Tuesday, April 1 at 9 p.m. season premiere of Gordon Ramsay chef show

Bones – Monday, April 14 at 8 p.m.

House – Monday, April 21 at 9 p.m. time period premiere with encore; originals resume Monday, April 28.

Note that Fox’ New Orleans drama “K-Ville” isn’t mentioned here as going back into production.

And “24” stays on hold. The show will “conclude production on its seventh season,” the network says, but that adventure “will not premiere until January 2009, allowing the drama to once again run 24 episodes consecutively.”

“Lost” will have lots of company by April as new episodes return to ABC’s lineup for such faves as “Desperate Housewives” and “Ugly Betty.” In the midst of the post-strike shuffle, “Lost” will move back to 10 p.m. Thursday behind a returning “Grey’s Anatomy” – just in time for May’s Nielsen sweep (April 24 - May 21).

The network has announced the following fresh-episode dates:

“Samantha Who?” - Monday, April 7 at 9:30 p.m. (six new episodes)

“Boston Legal” - Tuesday, April 8 at 10 p.m. (six episodes)

“Desperate Housewives” - Sunday, April 13 at 9 p.m. (five episodes, plus two-hour finale)

“Brothers & Sisters” - Sunday, April 20 at 10 p.m. (four episodes)

“Ugly Betty” - Thursday, April 24 at 8 p.m. (five episodes)

“Grey’s Anatomy” - Thursday, April 24 at 9 p.m. (five episodes)

“Lost” - Thursday, April 24 move to 10 p.m. (five episodes)

Catch up to previous episodes at ABC's streaming media player.

Here’s a real gen-u-ine treat for tv-obsessed boomers.

On May 6, Shout Factory is releasing “HiYa Kids!! A ‘50s Saturday Morning,” a 4-DVD set (retailing for $34.99) featuring 21 shows that we still remember well (even if we have no idea where we placed our reading glasses 15 minutes ago).

Just to name five: “Kukla, Fran & Ollie,” "Howdy Doody,” "Ding Dong School,” "Winky Dink & You” and “The Pinky Lee Show.” For a complete list shows, click here.

The set takes its name, of course, from Froggy the Gremlin’s greeting to Andy Devine each week on “Andy’s Gang" (which is another of the 21 shows in the collection).

While you’re waiting for the DVD to come out, check out this clip from this truly surrealistic kids’ show.

AMC’s hot new comedy-drama breaks the rules this week over on sister cabler IFC. “Breaking Bad Uncut & Uncensored” airs Friday (Feb. 22) at 9-11 p.m., presenting the acclaimed series’ first two episodes in a “director’s cut” and without commercial interruption.

The latter is possibly the best news, because “Breaking Bad” weaves a web of both character suspense and black comedy that benefits mightily from uninterrupted immersion. The “uncensored” boast may not make as much difference, but be aware the channel is labeling this airing with a TV rating of MA for sex, language and violence.

IFC also passes along this handy translation for the behavior of Bryan Cranston as the New Mexico chemistry teacher and cancer victim who decides to devote his remaining time to cooking some fine crystal meth, with tragic yet horrifyingly hilarious consequences:

“BREAK BAD: To behave in a violent, wanton, or outrageous manner for no discernible reason.”
- The Complete How to Speak Southern

In the meantime, “BB” homeland AMC is sneaking a peek of this Sunday’s (Feb. 24) 10 p.m. fifth episode at the series’ home page. The first two episodes are streaming there, too.

Former “Tonight Show” sidekick Ed McMahon has just been booked at the North Fork Theatre at Westbury.

He’s set for an April 27th date at 3 p.m. Tix are $45 and $55.

Now, we dig Ed as much as the next guy and he helped us get through many late nights with Johnny Carson.

But we’re wondering what exactly will Ed do at Westbury, besides reprising, we’re sure, his trademark “heeere's Johnny.” Will he show never-before-seen footage from “TV's Bloopers & Practical Jokes?” Analyze his old Budweiser commercials (those Clydesdales rock!)?

Speaking of the King O'Beers, check out Ed pushing the brew back in 1978:

Adios, Fidel.

With the news that the Cuban dictator is bowing out, many folks’ thoughts surely turned to such memorable moments as the Cuban Missile Crisis.

I thought about “Seinfeld.”

Specifically the episode in which George Steinbrenner sends his flunky George Costanza to Cuba to look for baseball talent. As luck, would have it -- the episode airs tonight at 7:30 on WNYW/Ch.5

In Havana George ends up being invited to a party thrown by Castro (a nod here to Woody Allen attending the San Marcos’ dictator’s bash in “Bananas").

Fidel (played by Michael Sorich) is in a chatty mood and tells George why he doesn’t like parties:

“The problem with parties is that you have to eat standing up. Once at a party, I put my plate on someone’s piano. I assure you if I had not been the dictator, I could not have gotten away with that one.”

Fidel continues to rant and it’s even too much for George, who backs out of El Jefe’s office.

... What can I say, this is how my mind works.

What’s the big whoop with Fox’s “The Moment of Truth?” I don’t get it. It’s mean-spirited and not even original.

Check out this much more amusing (and much less sadistic) moment of truth from a 1966 episode of the classic quiz show “I’ve Got a Secret.”

On the show, panelists Betsy Palmer, Bess Myerson, Henry Morgan and Bill Cullen get hooked up to an “emotion-reading machine” to gauge how they really feel when the special guest, insult comic Jack E. Leonard, zings them.

And by the way, “Fat Jack” (as he was known quite benignly in those pre-PC days) is one comic who is long overdue to be rediscovered. His barbed remarks paved the way for the much more acerbic Don Rickles, as well as the legions of putdown artists who followed.

Who’s dancing who?

Here’s who, from ABC's “Dancing With the Stars” pairings announcement on this morning’s “Good Morning America”:

ADAM CAROLLA & JULIANNE HOUGH – The big mouth and the cutie pie.

SHANNON ELIZABETH & DEREK HOUGH – Julianne’s brother gets another Jennie Garth-type.

CRISTIÁN DE LA FUENTE & CHERYL BURKE – The telenovela star is a waaaay better deal for multi-champ Cheryl than last year’s Wayne Newton.

STEVE GUTTENBERG & ANNA TREBUNSKAYA – Anna is married to professional dancer Jonathan Roberts, who gets . . .

MONICA SELES & JONATHAN ROBERTS – Let’s hope Monica doesn’t faint. (Jonathan had to catch Marie Osmond last season.)

PENN JILLETTE & KYM JOHNSON – Well, if Kym could cope with Jerry Springer . . .

MARIO & KARINA SMIRNOFF – Another Mario for Karina, who previously taught Mario Lopez.

MARLEE MATLIN & FABIAN SANCHEZ – The professional newcomer is, according to ABC, “the 2006 World Mambo Champion, a four-time Fred Astaire National Champion and the United States Rising Star, and the 1999 American Rhythm Champion.” But can he sign?

PRISCILLA PRESLEY & LOUIS VAN AMSTEL – Priscilla seems a less likely musical mover than Monique Coleman, Louis’ previous partner.

MARISSA JARET WINOKUR & TONY DOVOLANI – At least this Broadway babe has a head start in movement over Jane Seymour.

JASON TAYLOR & EDYTA SLIWINSKA – Two hot numbers, together at last!

KRISTI YAMAGUCHI & MARK BALLAS – Mark got robbed with Sabrina Bryan last time.

Their stepping starts on ABC March 17.

“American Idol” arrives on iTunes today with a free video download of white fright Renaldo Lapuz bowing to Ryan Seacrest, the better to whet your appetite for more.

(That’s “your” appetite. Not mine.)

But the main iTunes attraction, which you gotta pay for, is the availability of all musical performances by the top 24 contenders in Hollywood (presented in alphabetical order by first name, since we’re all BFFs). For 99 cents a pop -- that’s per person, per song -- these audio stylings become available the morning after each telecast, the better to grab your money before your brain kicks in to rethink the cost. (You can even “pre-order” downloads to avoid thought altogether.)

But don’t look for competition clues by whose downloads sell most. Sorry, “iTunes and Fox are committed to presenting contestants in a fair and balanced manner online and on-air,” reads the small print. “For this reason, sales of performances from ‘American Idol’ contestants from the current season will not be reflected in the iTunes charts.”

They’ll be happy to post and profit, however, from sales of previous seasons’ tunes, in case you just haven’t had enough of Clay Aiken’s “Bridge Over Troubled Water.”

More details here.

Ray Davies, longtime frontman for the one and only Kinks, will perform on tonight’s “Late Show with David Letterman" (11:35 p.m. on CBS).

The 63-year-old Davies is sure to perform a song from his new CD, “Working Man’s Cafe,” which drops today and has been getting some very good buzz.

Watch Davies perform the title song here.

"

Oh, dear. If only Kenny Mayne in sparkly eye shadow were half as amusing as the sad little sportscaster thinks he is. If only "Dance War" were one-tenth as enjoyable as those screaming-Meemies in the audience pretend it is. If only network television weren't circling the drain in the commode at this very moment.

But I digress.

Just minutes ago, ABC announced the cast of this spring's "Dancing With the Stars" during Monday night's two-hour finale of "Dance War." (Please, please, make it go away now. Forever. "Solid Gold" reruns would be better.)

The newbies hitting the "DWTS" floor as of March 17:

Deaf actress Marlee Matlin ("The West Wing," photo at right) – How much do we love this choice? Martin Sheen next!

Elvis ex Priscilla Presley (late of "Dallas") – Take THAT, Heather Mills! (Or should we be saying that about Marlee? Never mind.)

Penn Jillette, crabby magician/debunker – I know who I'm cheering for right now. Tom Bergeron, watch your back.

Adam Carolla, ex-"The Man Show"/radio big-mouth – I am so, so sorry, Julianne Hough.

Kristi Yamaguchi, Olympic skating star – And what happens if hubby Bret Hedican's Carolina Hurricanes make the NHL playoffs just as "DWTS" hits its climax? What then?!

NFL hottie Jason Taylor – The Miami Dolphins defensive end has great abs. (Evidence in photo at right.) I think "DWTS" drooler Lisa Rinna mentioned this six or 12 times in announcing his casting. Imagine the costume possibilities. (Take THAT, Kenny Mayne!)

Tennis (ex-)star Monica Seles – Well, she did play herself on that episode of "The Nanny."

Marissa Jaret Winokur, Broadway's "Hairspray" – She survived costarring opposite Pamela Anderson on "Stacked." Anything is possible.

Steve Guttenberg, "Three Men and a Baby" – Once he's back on the radar, beware "Police Academy 17." Or "Meet the Santas 7."

R&B; singer Mario – Let America love him.

Shannon Elizabeth – Bye, bye, Miss American Pie.

Christian De La Fuente – Chilean-born telenovela heartthrob. Who?

[UPDATED with photo and May 20 release date]

Nothing new to report on the Fox TV network return of The Further Adventures of Jack Bauer. But since it looks unlikely we’ll see anything “24” on-air till 2009, Fox Home Entertainment has stepped into the breach.

A tricked-out Special Edition release of “24” Season 1 is being reported at our favorite TV DVD site, TV Shows on DVD. Fans will remember the show’s initial set didn’t get many special features -- it came out back in 2002 right when networks/studios were starting to realize the $$ to be made (and promotional value to be found) by rushing out the previous season release before subsequent episodes resumed the following fall/winter. And that was before bonus material was being created along the way during production.

TV Shows on DVD is reporting new commentary tracks to be added for Season 1, along with deleted scenes and featurettes about the series’ genesis. This special "24" set should hit shelves May 20.

Here's a really nice news story about what Andy Griffith is up to these days.

Turns out that Sheriff Andy/Ben Matlock is 81, lives on a waterfront estate off Roanoke Island, NC, collects antique cars and has plenty to say.

Read it here.

Last week's second-season premiere of "Jericho" can be downloaded free from iTunes, for watching on-computer or on the go.

That should bring everybody up to speed before tomorrow night's second installment (Tuesday, Feb. 19 at 10 p.m. on CBS), which introduces the new president of the -- gasp -- Allied States of America.

[Hail to the Chief, above: Mayor Anderson (Michael Gaston) and Eric Green (Kenneth Mitchell) with President Tomarchio (George Newbern) in "Condor" episode of "Jericho." CBS photo by Cliff Lipson.]

Formats come and formats go in home video. It looks pretty much as if HD DVD is on its way out now, according to today’s report that inventor Toshiba is primed to pull the plug. (Blu-ray remains in the high-def game.) But portable digital media continue booming on the iPod and similar devices, where downloads and podcasts keep us busy watching on the go.

Now add downloads on a disc, as the Fox home entertainment folks have with their new release of “Family Guy: Blue Harvest.” The animated series’ hourlong “Star Wars” parody special arrives on DVD bearing a duplicate Digital Copy of itself that’s ready to be loaded into your computer library for transfer to iPod or Windows Media Player.

When I finally found the time to try it out, turned out I hardly needed any time at all. You put the “Blue Harvest” Digital Copy disc into the computer, type in the serial number provided in disc-case documentation, and click a button. Two minutes later, the entire show has downloaded to your hard drive (in 640-by-480 quality). Then connect your iPod to that computer, press the transfer button, and 60 seconds later, you can watch anywhere.

Without Digital Copy, you could of course rip a regular DVD’s content and translate that onto a portable device using third-party software. But that’s a pain and requires some know-how. With a Digital Copy DVD, you’ve already got the content in two consumer-friendly, guaranteed-legal formats.

Other DVDs with pod-formatted Digital Copy content include “Live Free or Die Hard” and “Harry Potter: The Order of the Phoenix.”

Here’s a more detailed MacWorld report on the process. And here's the official "Family Guy" version.

John Wayne may not usually be thought of as a TV star. But he he did make a bunch of guest appearances on sitcoms over the years, most notably the two-episode “I Love Lucy” in 1955 in which Lucy discovers that the cement slab with Wayne's footprints in front of Grauman's Chinese Theater has come loose.

But who out there remembers when Wayne cameod on “The Beverly Hillbillies”? (The Duke should not be confused with Duke, the Clampetts’ hound). You’ll get your chance to see Tuesday night at 9 when TV Land airs the 1967 episode, “The Indians Are Coming.”

This mega-politically incorrect plot has something to do with Indians (or “Injuns” as Granny says) taking over the Clampetts' land back in Bug Tussle. Turns out it’s just a lil’ ol’ boundary dispute. Nevertheless, Chief Running Wolf and Little Fox travel to Beverly Hills to settle the problem, but Granny is alarmed and she prepares to take on the Injuns by herself. Wayne visits Granny at the end after the Indians “attack.”

According to several sources, Wayne asked for only a bottle of bourbon as payment for the episode.

By the way, an excellent recap of Wayne’s TV career can be found on the TV Party website.

And if you want a great Clampett fix, check out this commercial in which they shill for Kellogg's Corn Flakes!

Back April 21, with five new.

Now...the CW's turn for new show return announcements. As expected, most stuff back mid to late April. Here's the list: "The Game," March 23 (9 episodes); "One Tree Hill," April 14 (6); "Smallville," April 17 (5); "Gossip Girl," April 21 (5); "Reaper," April 21 (5), and..."Supernatural," April 24 (4).

Also..."Everybody Hates Chris" has 12 remaining that'll start March 3, while "Aliens in America" has eight left. Per CW, those'll air March 2-23, and April 27-May 18.

Hitman.

This flashforward world is a hell of a world, is it not?

Up is down. Left, right. North, south. Sayid works for Ben.

Say...whaaa?

Anyway, I'm tired of asking questions (without any answers). So maybe the best way to
get an instant handle on last night's "The Economist" is to do a quick list of the top five
oddities, top being the oddest:

1.) Not merely that Ben is off the island and that Sayid works for him as a HITMAN, but that Ben is a vet. Who knew he loved dogs.

2.) Sayid's rough love scene. This is a tough man to love - witness the departure of Shannon (killed by Anna Lucia) and Nadia, presumably dead too. Now Elsa. Who was her boss who isn't an "economist...?" (Sorry, just can't resist questions...) Meanwhile, we also learned the name of another member of Oceanic 6 (Sayid), which makes - I think - four. So two to go.

3.) The bracelet. Naomi's bracelet, with the inscription, "N, I'll always be
with you. RC." Of course, we all have to ask, who's "RC," so let's just ponder this a moment. In the entire "Lost" hierarchy of characters - Tailies, Losties, Flashbackies, Others, etc. - there's only one "RC." That's Rachel Carlson, Juliet's sister (played by Robin Weigert). (Biblical significance to name, for she was Jacob's wife, who could bear no children.) Oh, there are plenty of Lostian theories about Juliet: That she was actually a guy; or that Jack rescued her in the car, preventing him from doing that header off the bridge.

Or this: That Rachel has teamed up with Desmond squeeze Penny to find her long lost sister. Hmmmm.

Beyond that, why would Naomi have any sort of tie to Rachel? I haven't a bloody clue.

(Of course, some people think the initials read "RG," in which case to all of the above - never mind. But I'm fairly certain it was "RC." Isn't this SAD that I've even gone on this long about it?)

4.) Daniel's payload. "Oh no, this is not good," he says after the little projectile slams into the ground, and the numbers don't sync up on the respective digital clocks. Why "no good." With Daniel Faraday, I think you've got to go to his namesake Michael, who discovered the laws of electromagnetism - basically by showing that a changing magnetic field produces an electric current (and that "magnetism" and electricity are one in the same.) Isn't "Lost" fun? You learn stuff. But what does any of this have to Daniel's "Oh no" line? I haven't a bloody clue.

5.) Finally, Jacob's disappearing house and that line (of sand or gunpowder?) in front. Oh come on. Did anyone really expect the house to be there when Locke pulls up in front? But where did it go? All together now...I haven't a bloody clue.

You know what’s great about “Lost”? OK, one of the many things that’s great about “Lost”? It’s such an international stew of various ethnicities. And on this show, that’s really no big deal.

Last night’s jaw-dropping new ABC episode (SPOILERS AHEAD) had a thrillingly meaty “flash-forward” for Sayid, played by Indian-Brit Naveen Andrews. Our favorite Iraqi ex-“torturer” seems fated, upon his return as the fourth revealed member of the “Oceanic Six,” to become some kind of besieged assassin for baddie (or is he?) Ben.

The episode “The Economist” (“He’s not really an economist”) also continued the storyline for mysterious new “psychic” helicopter arrival Miles, played by Chinese-American Ken Leung. And let’s not forget two other longtime Asian-ethnicity cast members, South Korea-born Daniel Dae Kim and Yunjin Kim.

Four Asian actors prominently featured on one show? That’s gotta be some kind of record.

“Lost” also has several key black performers in not-quite-departed ex-regulars Harold Perrineau (Michael) and Malcolm David Kelley (Walt), plus Marsha Thomason (“Las Vegas”) as this season’s is-she-really-dead mercenary Naomi. You can probably add Lance Reddick (“The Wire”) to the list as the forbidding airline “lawyer” in recent flash-forwards, who looks to be around for awhile.

And how about Jorge Garcia (Hurley/Hugo) and the underused Nestor Carbonell (never-aging “Others” mastermind Richard)?

As for last night’s episode, if you missed it, or just loved it lots, you can read a concisely detailed recap here. And/or you can watch it here.

[Above: Ken Leung, Evangeline Lilly, Naveen Andrews in ABC photo from Feb. 14, 2008 episode of "Lost."]

When is a rerun not a rerun? When it’s “enhanced”!

“Lost” first figured this out and now precedes each new ABC Thursday 9 p.m. episode with a time-filling 8 p.m. repeat “enhanced” with facts, figures and “clues” that pop-up like old-time VH1 video trivia. (VH1 ran videos? How weird!)

Tonight, “Ghost Whisperer” jumps on the texting bandwagon at 8 p.m., running "Love Notes" that promise “production secrets and fun facts” (such as: “Jim and Melinda's house is on the Universal Studios back lot. It was originally built as Gregory Peck's house in ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’”). Expect ’em on the episodes repeating on CBS both Feb. 15 (8 p.m.) and Feb. 22 (9 p.m.).

Also factually enhancing reruns: CBS’ “CSI: Miami,” adding "Bullet Points" the next two Mondays (Feb. 18 and 25 at 10 p.m.).

Remember "Kid Nation?"

It was only the cause celebre of the '07-'08 season, with endless stories written about, and over which countless calls were made by reporters to child welfare services in New Mexico, state investigation panels convened, and critics so exercised by the possible legal and moral ramifications of it all that they lost sleep AND weight (often at the same time.)

It was quite a show.

Anyway, it's dead.

Or almost certainly dead - or like that soap that's 99.999 percent pure - it's 99.999 percent dead.

CBS announced its '08-09 returning shows last night, and "Kid" was not amongst the living. Here's the complete list, and no major surprises: "Cold Case," "Criminal Minds," "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," "CSI: Miami," "CSI: NY," "Ghost Whisperer," "NCIS," "Numb3rs," "Two and a Half Men," "Without a Trace," "The Big Bang Theory." Of the reality crew, CBS had already announced that '"Survivor" and "The Amazing Race" were back.

I emailed CBS's laudatory primetime press man, Phil Gonzales, about the unfortunate state of affairs with regards "Kid Nation." He wrote back: "Other than the shows that we just announced as renewed, no final decisions have been made on any shows for next year. We just ordered 4 more post-strike originals for 'Moonlight' and 'Jericho' is in 'Cane’s' time period for now."

Phil is just too polite to say it, so I'll say it for him:

"Kid Nation" is dead.

Without "Kid Nation" to kick around, what will give critics exercise this fall? (They'll have to go out and run around the block, I guess.) At least they'll get some sleep.

And - I'm glad you asked - what about "Cane." Again, I think this announcement pretty much says it all. It too is gone. That's a bummer - especially for Jimmy Smits fans. But here's the silver lining: This means that the splendid Nestor Carbonell - who just happens to be one of my favorite actors in the solar system - will get to return to "Lost" where he can complete his great and never-aging portrayal of Richard.

Yes, "Others" dude Richard Alpert with 99.999 percent certainty WILL be back and that's the best news today.

More series return dates are being announced in the wake of the writers’ strike concluding. These are from Fox:

“Hell’s Kitchen” – Tuesday, April 1 at 9 p.m.

“So You Think You Can Dance” – Thursday, May 22 at 8-10 p.m. and Wednesday, May 28 at 8-10 p.m.

“Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” – Sunday, June 1 at 7 p.m.

“The Moment of Truth” – Thursday, June 12 at 8 p.m.

And a new unscripted role-reversal series tentatively titled “When Women Rule the World” – Monday, June 2 at 8-10 p.m., then Mondays at 9.

Finally, something worth watching on Saturday night network TV! For one weekend, anyway.

This week’s second-season premiere of “Jericho” will now repeat on CBS Saturday (Feb. 16) at 8 p.m. -- perhaps a tiny test of whether the series now airing Tuesdays at 10 should return to an earlier time slot. I can’t be the only critic getting emails from parents outraged that their kids’ once-favorite show has returned at a weeknight hour too late for them to stay up for.

The episode is also streaming online at CBS’ extensive “Jericho” site, either with or without commentary.

[Above: "Jericho" star Skeet Ulrich and cast addition Esai Morales in CBS photo.]

David Groh, who played Rhoda Morgenstern's husband Joe Gerard on the '70s sitcom "Rhoda" -- their Oct. 28, 1974 wedding was one of the most-watched episodes in TV history -- has died. He was 68.

The TV nuptials lasted only three seasons -- in a shocking development (for TV of the time) -- the couple divorced and Joe was soon gone from the show. Many viewers were so upset that when they split people sent them condolence cards.

Groh’s good looks and real-life good nature were key to helping him win the part of her TV husband, Valerie Harper, who played Rhoda, said Thursday. “We looked all over and he finally came on the scene,” Harper told the AP. “I read every cute guy of a certain age in Hollywood and he was the one. ... I enjoyed very much working with him. He was a lovely, lovely guy.”

Read more about Groh here.

And by the way, why the heck isn't "Rhoda" on TV anywhere these days?

"24" is a year away.

Get used to it.

Even though this has been in the press for days - with the Times saying this Monday that it was "official" - in fact Fox has YET to officially declare that one of the great signature shows of our era - or at least "great signature shows" when it's really really good which is most of the time, with the exception of some of last season when it was really not - is on hiatus for a year.

I can tell you now, though, with no equivocation, hairsplitting, or other forms of BS: "24" is off for another year, to return in January of '09.

It's official. Finally.

Is this a bad thing? Well, duh, YEAH. A very bad thing. A terrible thing.

But it is a real thing, and we'll just have to deal with it.

But just imagine what the world will be like a year from now? A new president - and very possibly an AFRICAN AMERICAN president, which would make dear old "24" remarkably prescient. It will be set in Washington. Kiefer Sutherland will be on the wagon. Chloe - or at least Mary Lynn Rajskub - will have a new baby.

Yup, it'll be a whole new world and whole new "24." Can't wait.

As the world continues to enjoy the amusing - and doubtless inadvertent - utterance of a very uncouth word on "Today Show" this morning, courtesy of Jane Fonda, let us not forget that there's a trend going on here:

Senior-aged Oscar Winning Actresses Who Say Unspeakable Words (for TV Anyway) On the Morning Shows

Heck of a trend, and it began last month with this engaging chat between Di Sawyer and Di Keaton (It's four minutes and change in.)

Who's next in this merry morning round of shocking the hosts and scandalizing (or amusing) the audiences? (Does Helen Mirren have a movie coming out in March? Does "GMA" plan to have on Sally Field when "Brothers & Sisters" comes back? Could...)

Breaking up is hard to do. Especially when it's over the phone.

Apparently, that's how the cast of "Girlfriends" [above in 2003 photo] got the news this week that The CW has decided not to put the series back into production after the writers' strike, according to this Black Voices blog entry.

Kind of a surprising fadeaway, considering what a stalwart job the sitcom has done for first UPN and then CW over the past eight seasons. While never a huge critical or audience hit, "Girlfriends" was a reliable performer in both those arenas. And the network seems to be letting this longtime building block die without even a proper goodbye (though internet rumors are flying that a series finale might still be possible).

More at the TV Series Finale site.

UPDATE AT 3:30 PM - "Girlfriends" creator Mara Brock Akil has issued this statement through the CBS Paramount production studio: "Although it's always difficult to say goodbye, I choose to focus my energy on the history that 'Girlfriends' has made, the human stories that we told, the beautifully complex images that we projected and the blessings 172 episodes bestowed on us, both personally and professionally. I am immensely thankful to the amazingly talented cast, writers, directors, staff and crew for their endless dedication and hard work for eight seasons, to the network that always wanted us and the studio that always supported us, but mostly to the audience, especially African-American women, who took the time to tune into us every Monday night at nine to have a dialogue with us and who have been our partner in this journey. I am currently in talks with the studio and network on putting together a retrospective show which will honor and celebrate this landmark series, so please stay tuned."

It’s Valentine’s Day, so the folks at digital cable’s Biography Channel (Ch. 160 for Cablevision viewers) have cooked up a sort-of appropriate show.

At 11 p.m., it’ll air a bio of the late Barry White, the deep-voiced, over-the-top soul singer whose songs (“Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe,” “I’m Gonna Love You Just a Little More, Baby”) provided the soundtrack for many rolls across many water beds in the 1970s.

On the other hand, maybe you should set your DVR. If you’re around to watch a cable show at 11 p.m., then one would assume you’re probably having a pretty rotten V-Day. (If you're really desperate, the show repeats at 3 a.m. early Friday.)

To get in the mood, you can watch the Great One sing one of his biggest hits here.

One of the things fans come to "Idol" for - or maybe one of the things this fan comes for - is that indelible sense of there-for-the-grace-of-God (and maybe a little more talent) go I. That person up there - that person could be ME! It's the reality part of reality TV, or that innate sense of identification or rejection (oh, I HATE that contestant cuz she reminds me of the mean girl at school, blah blah...)

So, as usual, Simon was right: Losing Kyle Ansley was a mistake.

He wasn't gonna get far, this kid. He wasn't gonna get to the top twelve. He wasn't gonna win. But he WAS gonna add that extra dimension of simple heartfelt appeal which much of this top 24 seems to lack. (Seems to - there are clearly some people we don't know yet.) Oh, most are good and attractive and talented and (in more than a few instances) professional. But Kyle had no wall between him and the camera - no artifice or camera smarts or polished, gimlet-eyed, mother-staged savvy. He was just there - with some talent and sweetness and everyman/woman-ness.

Now, gone.

I liked the way Simon stuck up for the kid. Liked the way he said he was "Really really disappointed."

Not to feel too bad for Kyle. He won a foreign affairs fellowship at Oklahoma State last summer. Here's what he said at the time: “I’m so excited. The fellowship is typically awarded to students from Ivy League schools like Harvard, Yale and Princeton, and I am blessed to have been selected and represent Oklahoma State University.”

“I enjoy learning about people. Representing American’s interests abroad and visiting cultures around the world will be very fulfilling,”

Smart AND gracious. It would've been fun to follow him, if only for a few weeks.

Meanwhile, still waiting for "Idol" to tell thirty million viewers that several of these final 24 have had some professional experience - including an album produced by a top record label - while there's a "Star Search" winner here too.

Not that there's anything wrong with.

Waiting and waiting and waiting....

Why is "Idol" being so coy?

Here's your top 24 list. Remember these names. They'll be with us for a while now...

David Cook, Amanda Overmyer, David Archuleta, Kristy Lee Cook, Brooke White, Danny Noriega, Jason Castro, Luke Menard, Alexandra Lushington, Ramiele Malubay, Syesha Mercado, Robbie Carrico, Garrett Haley, Kady Malloy, Amy Davis,Alaina Whitaker, Jason Yeager, Asia’h Epperson, David Hernandez, Colton Berry, Joanne Borgella, Carly Smithson and Michael Johns.

And...we now have show return dates from the Peacock. Yes, I've noticed a trend here too: Looks like the bulk of returning faves, etc. will arrive in April, just in time for May sweeps.

Don't worry if you don't see something you love/cherish/miss-desperately below. Here's NBC's qualifier: "Specific plans for other NBC scripted series are currently being determined and
will be announced later."

Here's what we've got so far:

"My Name Is Earl" (Thursdays, 8-8:30 p.m. ET)
Resumes April 3 with one-hour episode

"30 Rock" (Thursdays, 8:30-9 p.m. ET)
Resumes April 10

"The Office" (Thursdays, 9-9:30 p.m. ET)
Resumes April 10

"Scrubs" (Thursdays, 9:30-10 p.m. ET)
Resumes April 10

"ER" (Thursdays, 10-11 p.m. ET)
Resumes April 10

"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" (Tuesdays, 10-11 p.m. ET)
Resumes April 15

"Law & Order" (Wednesdays, 10-11 p.m. ET)
Resumes April 23

There were so many interesting questions that came out of last night's "Idol" that I suppose the best way to handle them all is just ask 'em, and let 'em hang there. So here goes.

I was just wondering...

...when is "Idol" going to at least HINT that Michael Johns, Carly Smithson and Kristy Lee Cook have had professional experience?

...how Josiah Leming is going to handle possible (probable) rejection?

...whether Danny Noriega is the next Sanjaya?

...why Robbie Carrico looks like Axl Rose?

...why Colton Berry looks like Josiah?

...will Kyle Ensley be the next Sanjaya?

...why Kyle Ensley is my favorite contestant so far?

...why Perry Cataldo got dropped (thought he seemed kinda good during that a capella shootout)?

...whether "Idol" will ever show clips of the time David Archuleta - who's probably a front-runner already - won junior singer comps at "Star Search" in 2003?

...why Angela Martin got dropped (who I thought was good) and (whether it's just a coincidence that there's also an Angela Martin in "The Office?")

(Right: David A., from his "Star Search" days; courtesy: CBS)

Yes, we can tell you officially: Tina Fey will be the first guest host on "SNL" when it returns after a very long hiatus on Feb. 23.

Frankly, it's kind of an inspired choice, given her starring/head-writing/production role of yore here. Also, she won't be around until April 10 when "30 Rock" comes back. No word yet from "SNL" on music guest or future guest hosts.

But I wonder...I wonder...has an invitation to host gone out yet to Barack Obama?

This morning, I wrote a bitchy, snide, mean, querulous, cynical, argumentative post about the low turn-out for the Writers Guild vote yesterday, because....well...THAT'S JUST THE WAY I AM.

To restate my observation (see below), I fail to understand why only 4,000-or-so writers cast a ballot when the other 7,000 members couldn't get their butts over to a polling place in LA or NY to cast a ballot too. I mean, it wasn't like this thing wasn't publicized.

Well, since posting this, Sherry Goldman - who's done a fine and honorable job representing the WGA to the east coast press since this strike began and is never any of those things that I demonstrably am - had a detailed and reasonable response to my questions about the turn-out.

I quote Sherry in full:

"The reason that only 3,775 writers voted is because it was a 48-hour vote and writers had to go to meetings in either NY or LA or vote by proxy. Many Writers Guild members do not live nearby either - for example, the WGAE membership covers everything East of the Mississippi and also England and Ireland. So, it is difficult if not impossible for people to get to the meetings. We consider this vote turnout a strong turnout.

"But, since the 48-hour vote is not easy for everyone to vote, that is why the Guilds decided that contract ratification vote will be a mail ballot. Later this week ballots are being sent to all members covered under this contract - and members can vote by mail, proxy or in person at membership meetings on Feb. 25. Constitutionally, we are required to give 10 days for a mail ballot - so this process works for the contract ratification vote. But, our membership told as (at the member meetings over the weekend) that they did not want to wait 10 days for the strike to be lifted either by the contract ratification vote or by a separate mail vote. That's why it was split this way."

Yes, CBS has announced a whole slew of dates for shows to return. The strike is definitely over.

Without further ado, here they are:

How I Met Your Mother...March 17...9 new episodes.

The Big Bang Theory...March 17...9 new eps.

CSI: Miami...March 24...8 new eps.

Cold Case...March 30...6

Criminal Minds...April 2...7

CSI...April 3...6

Without a Trace...April 3...6

Numb3rs... April 4...6

NCIS...April 8...7

CSI:NY...April 2...7

Moonlight...April 11...4

Rules of Engagement... April 14...6

Shark...TBA...4

(Right: She's baaaaack....)

And speaking of voting: Let's ponder this one number.

92.5 percent.

Big number.

Nice number.

Seemingly overwhelming number.

That's the percentage of writers who voted to end to walk-out last night.

But only 3,775 ballots were cast. What about the 7,000 - that's write, errr, right - almost SEVEN THOUSAND other members of the WGA who didn't bother to vote?

True, people had to actually go to the Guild Theater in Beverly Hills (or Crowne Plaza in NYC) to cast a vote, so maybe traffic, or something else (God knows what), kept most people away. But you'd think that with all the anguish, all the fighting, all the picketing, all the canceled contracts, all the damaged careers, derailed shows, and general meshugas, that EVERYONE would want to show up to cast a ballot, either thumbs up or down.

Instead, only 3,775.

So, were the other 7,000-or-so unhappy with the new contract? Just couldn't be bothered? Had other things to worry about instead of their livelihood?

I just don't get it. (By the way, about 280 cast a no vote.)

Of course, there's no such thing as 100 percent compliance in any WGA vote, but writers have turned out in greater numbers before. When? Back in October, when WGA West and East members cast a total of 5,507 ballots to authorize a strike, which at the time was reported to be the largest turnout in WGA history.

Oh yes, the actors.

In all this talk about writers and yesterday's Writers Guild of America vote, we almost forgot about them. But this oversight should be corrected shortly. Here's why: There's pressure mounting on the Screen Actors Guild, the larger and certainly more visible union that represents just about everyone that works in FRONT of the camera, to start negotiating its next contract.

SAG's deal is up June 30 but per the trades this morning, the studios want to get the Guild to the table quickly - perhaps to seal a deal similar to the one the writers just agreed to?

As evidence of this pressure, here's a fascinating nugget in Dave McNary's piece in Variety this morning: "Studios are indicating to agents this week that they're generally holding back on commitments to feature projects until SAG signs a new deal - particularly since they've been stockpiling features in recent months as a hedge against a SAG strike."

But here's the big question: Will actors embrace the writers deal? The WGA deal is considered roughly similar to the Directors Guild deal, signed earlier, but SAG disparaged the DGA deal at the time. So...how does it feel about the new WGA deal?

It's unlikely the actors will go on strike, but really, who knows for certain. Here's one intriguing development: There's a huge fissure between the haves and have-nots in the union, with working actors - a total of 800, in fact - having signed a petition demanding a "qualified voting requirement."

This means...that only working actors making a buck - apparently at least $7,500 a year - would be allowed to vote on the new contract. Their fear? That those who aren't working, or the vast majority of actors, will vote for a strike.

(That guy pictured above - can't think of his name at the moment - wants SAG to get talking.)

Can’t get enough “American Idol?” Never fear: Fox has just enhanced your viewing pleasure.

The network announced today that it will expand the already-excruciating-at-30 minutes Wednesday results show to one hour, effective March 12.

Fox also let us know that “Idol Gives Back” will air as a TWO-HOUR special on Wednesday, April 9 and in keeping with the show’s kumbaya spirit, no one will be eliminated that night.

So the results show that week will be on Thursday. And that means an “Idol” triple play that week.

You’ve been warned.

If you didn't see today's "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" installment, we're here to tell you that West Babylon's Mark Czachor walked away with $100,000.

The Garden City science teacher and wrestling coach phoned a friend on the question, “A famous poem by William Carlos Williams reads, 'So much depends upon a red wheelbarrow glazed with rain water beside the' what? A) Wet ducklings, B) Green pasture, C) Rusty fence post, D) White chickens.” (Correct answer: D.)

But he knew better than to guess on the $250,000 question, “Equivalent to twenty bottles, which of these large bottles of champagne holds the greatest volume? A) Balthazar, B) Jeroboam, C) Methuselah, D) Nebuchadnezzar.” (Correct answer: D.) So he took the money and ran.

More locals: Tomorrow's "Millionaire" (12:30 p.m. Wednesday, Feb. 13 on WABC/7) features Mount Sinai attorney John Leonard, while Friday's (Feb. 15) show welcomes Merrick's John Yandrasits.

The Hollywood Reporter's Nellie Andreeva has the Big "Lost" News of the Day: Carlton Cuse confirmed to her yesterday that the show will produce five more episodes which will be (sigh) still three short of the original order.

He told her, "We're going to have to hit the ground running, go from zero to 100 mph in a matter of days to make as many episodes as possible."

Darlton's (Carlton and Damon Lindelof) plan is apparently to squeeze the original eight remaining into five - which, no matter how you slice/dice it, is a stinging disappointment to "Losties." What's being dropped? What loose ends won't get tied? What mysteries will remain stubbornly unsolved? (Eh, they'd probably remain stubbornly unsolved anyway...) These final three (shortened) seasons will be as carefully mapped as any final arcs in TV history - now the map has a bunch of white spaces on it.

Enough whining and moaning. At least five is better than none.

There was some hope - admittedly dim - that ABC would order the final eight when the strike ended (for a total of sixteen this season), but in these now very parlous times, the strike has forced the network to cut costs, and this is just one obvious way.

There’s nothing like banning something to ensure it gets seen everywhere fast in viral form.

“The Boondocks” is the latest example, with two completed episodes of Aaron McGruder’s late-night animated satire fated not to be seen during the show’s current season in Cartoon Network’s adult swim block ("Boondocks" airs Monday nights at 11:30 and midnight).

BET cable executives take the brunt of it in unaired clips now making the rounds on YouTube and other streaming sites. Strangely enough, one of the most mocked folks, BET’s “super-duper smart Harvard-educated president of entertainment” Reginald Hudlin, is also credited as an executive producer of “Boondocks,” a result of his helping get the original pilot made for Fox before the Cartoon pickup. Hudlin’s cartoon parody self is mostly concerned with making sure BET is the place for black viewers to see every “[crummy] black version of an MTV reality show” presented as simply as possible for "the monosyllabic demographic."

BET chief executive Debra Lee gets the worst savaging, as a Dr. Evil character named Debra Lee-vil, dedicated to trying to “accomplish what hundreds of years of slavery, Jim Crow and malt liquor couldn’t -- the destruction of black people!” -- while “suckin’ up [N-word people’s] money,” of course.

Ouch.

McGruder’s show has frequently courted controversy with touchy racial epithets and would-be Martin Luther King Jr. scenarios since its 2005 debut. But directly attacking another cable network in personal terms? Apparently a no-no, which seems to have shortened the second “Boondocks” season from a planned 15 episodes to 13.

But the BET trashing is nothing new or surprising for the 33-year-old McGruder, who’s always had it in for what he sees as the channel’s sleazy racial stereotypes, as widely demonstrated in his Boondocks newspaper comic strip.

Of course Advertising Age speculates the episodes’ ban might feed into another nifty viral feat -- a DVD marketing campaign -- when it comes to the future release of the second-season “Boondocks” set.

Judge for yourself here.

Of all the yawning voids over the last three month, I can think of few greater, wider, more noticeable, more dramatic and - in its own particular way - more unsettling than the absence of "Saturday Night Live."

This isn't a critical comment, per se, but a comment on the show's symbolism - almost as great, if not greater, than "The Tonight Show," which - thanks to Jay Leno - got itself back on the map at the beginning of the year.

But "SNL?" MIA, or DOA.

I've been worried about "SNL," and don't ask me why. Maybe because this is one of the last great pillars of NBC, which has turned - sadly - into a pretty crumby network. This was once the network of Brandon Tartikoff and Grant Tinker and (in fact) Lorne Michaels. Not that Lorne is in the past tense, but in this New Awful Downsized and Crummified NBC, he feels terribly marginalized, and so does his classic.

Anyway, this is a long roundabout way of getting to the good news: "SNL" will be back on February 23. Seth Meyers was quoted somewhere over the weekend as saying that this Saturday is the return date, but - alas - poor under-worked Seth got a little ahead of himself. I'm told (reliably) that the 23rd is the big day.

I'm glad. I feel a little better. The glorious NBC past isn't completely dead and buried - yet.

Reader poll: Favorite current recurring character

Remember that huge fine the FCC slapped ABC with over a naked butt scene that appeared in "NYPD Blue" over five years ago? ABC got around to re-butting (stop me before I pun again) the FCC today.

Here's the statement:

“Today, ABC filed a formal response to the FCC's proposed $1.43M fine for an episode of the Emmy Award-winning drama, “NYPD Blue.” ABC strongly opposed the proposed fine, noting that when the brief scene in question was telecast almost five years ago, this critically acclaimed drama had been on the air for a decade and the realistic nature of its storylines were well known to the viewing public, and arguing that the FCC's action was inconsistent with the Commission's own indecency standards, procedural requirements, and prior decisions; with the indecency statute; and with the First Amendment."

The affiliates backed up ABC, too.

"Also today, the ABC Affiliates Association filed a response to the NAL on behalf of the 50 non-owned ABC affiliates named in the NAL. Ray Cole, Chairman of the ABC Affiliates Association's Board of Governors, commented: "The ABC Affiliates support our network in its view that the portion of the episode of NYPD Blue in question is not actionably indecent under the law. ABC Affiliates also believe that the process and procedures employed by the Commission in the handling of this matter were deeply flawed and violate well-settled legal standards."

Not back next season? Is this possible?

We may have the first evidence of the draconian effect of the writers' strike on returning series or, to be more precise, those series not returning.

ABC on Monday announced a slew of shows that will return for the 2008-09 season - "Brothers & Sisters,” “Desperate Housewives,” “Dirty Sexy Money,” “Grey’s Anatomy,” “Lost,” “Private Practice,” “Pushing Daisies,” “Samantha Who?” and “Ugly Betty.”

And on Tuesday, we get word that it's also cut back on its order of "Lost" for the remainder of the season.

Yesterday's list may be more interesting for what is NOT on it: "Cavemen," "Carpoolers," "October Road," "Men in Trees," and "Big Shots." The only truly surprising omission? "Boston Legal," which is the last surviving series of uber-producer David E. Kelley on primetime TV (and which of course, grew out of the ashes of "The Practice.") ABC says the show's fate won't be determined until May, but this definitely looks bad.

What could be going on here? Too expensive? That's a very real possibility - and I did note that William Shatner was asked in a recent magazine survey whether he missed working at the show during the strike, and his response (I paraphrase) was "not in the least..."

"Cavemen," alas, was expected to be a casualty, strike or no. The others were certainly bubbles, too, though the strike may have hastened their demise.

"The strength of our schedule this fall was unprecedented and speaks for itself,” said Stephen McPherson, president, ABC Entertainment, in a statement. “We’re looking forward to building on that success.”

Mark your calendars — although you’re probably gonna know everything way ahead of time, thanks to all those Internet leakers out there.

But if you’re oblivious to such leakage, ABC is gonna announce the cast of the next edition of “Dancing with the Stars” on Feb. 18 (between 8 and 10 p.m.) during the finale of “Dance War.”

They'll do it in an ESPN-inspired "Dance Center" format, hosted by Kenny Mayne, Jerry Rice and Lisa Rinna.This is the first time the cast of “DWTS” will be announced in primetime, for those who keep track of such things.

Already the rumor mill is pumping out names of possible contestants. Last week, my blogging colleague and "DWTS" maven Verne Gay deftly parried the H. Rodham Clinton rumors — although having her hubby go on the show might be a really neat way of getting him off the campaign trail. As the photo shows, Bill can look mighty dapper on the dance floor.

(“DWTS” returns March 17. Yep, it would be great to see ex-POTUS doing a nice clog dance for St Patrick’s Day, no?)

Great chance this week to catch up to one of the season’s best new drama-comedy creations.

“Breaking Bad” gets a three-episode mini-marathon from AMC this Wednesday (Feb. 13), 8-11 p.m. The series’ first three hours set up the story of a high school chemistry teacher who gets into the crystal meth business for the weirdest of reasons.

But this is the weirdest of shows -- a sort of warm weather “Fargo” taking place in the New Mexico desert, all dry humor and deadly action, rolled together into a quirky adult concoction.

It’s also got the breakout performance of the year from Bryan Cranston [in AMC photo at right], who always had a deft touch as the hapless dad of “Malcolm in the Middle,” but here gets to broaden his range more acutely. Cranston wrings tragedy out of black humor, making us feel his pain even as we laugh at its absurdity. Smart stuff.

“Breaking Bad” regularly airs new episodes on AMC Sunday night at 10. There’s also a superb web site crammed with video and games. (Episodes 1 and 2 are still streaming there. All episodes also available as paid downloads at iTunes, where there's also a free making-of featurette.)

Roy Scheider was best known, of course, for his intense movie roles (“Jaws,” “All that Jazz”).

But the actor, who died over the weekend, also gets his tube props, most notably starring in the 1993-95 NBC sci-fi series “Seaquest DSV,” whose executive producers included Steven Spielberg.

The show was clearly Spielberg’s homage to that mid-‘60s underwater classic, “Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea,” a fact not lost on many critics who knocked “Seaquest” with such barbs as “Voyage to the Bottom of the Ratings.”

Scheider played Capt. Nathan Hale Bridger, who commanded (and designed) the 1,000-foot long seaQuest, a Deep Submergence Vehicle. (Hence the show’s title.) The show took place 25 years in the future -- that's just 10 years from now! -- when above-water folks had begun to colonize the expanses beneath the sea.

Scheider’s show-biz career actually began on TV, way back in 1956 with a role on the soap “Edge of Night.” And viewers with shortter memories may recall his 2002 recurring role on “Third Watch” as Russian mob boss Fyodor Chevchenko.

Do you remember "seaQuest?" Share your thoughts here.

(NBC photo: Scheider goin' deep on "seaQuest.")

In the midst of strike on/off meetings and madness, the Writers Guild actually found time this weekend to announce the winners of its annual Writers Guild Awards. No big ceremony shindig this time, though. Guess they’ve got something else to deal with.

The TV winners include:

Dramatic series – “The Wire” (HBO, photo above).
Comdy series – “30 Rock” (NBC).
New series – “Mad Men” (AMC).
Episodic drama – “The Sopranos” episode “The Second Coming” (HBO).
Episodic comedy – “The Office” episode “The Job” (NBC).
Long form, original – “Pandemic” movie (Hallmark).
Long form, adaptation – “The Company” (TNT).
Animation – “The Simpsons” episode “Kill Gil” (Fox).
Comedy/variety – “The Colbert Report” (Comedy Central).
Daytime serial – “The Young and the Restless” (CBS).
Children’s script – “Flight 29 Down” episode “Look Who’s Not Talking” (Discovery Kids).
Children’s long form/special – “Johnny Kapahala: Back on Board” (Disney).

For full info on all the winners, see the WGA site here.

Jeez, what was THAT all about? A three-and-a-half month strike. $2 billion hit on the LA economy. Thousands put out of work. About 70 "housekeeping deals" - writers put on retainer - killed outright. Dozens, hundreds of shows shut down.

In the very cold light of dawn, the new deal doesn't really look all that great given the fall-out. On the page, the numbers actually look kinda puny. After all that - all that picketing, too - here's (part of) what writers ended up with: "residuals [will be] paid at 0.36 percent of distributors gross receipts for the first 100,000 downloads of a TV program and the first 50,000 downloads of a feature. After that, residuals are paid at 0.7 percent of distributors gross receipts for television programs and 0.65 percent for feature films.”

And that's just in the third year of this deal.

Now, let's get out my calculator - five of the most dangerous words in the English language - and see what this comes to. If we're talking (hypothetically) about "The Office" which goes for $1.99 (although it's no longer available on iTunes, but just stay with me here), and you reach the threshold of 100,000 copies downloaded, then that comes...to the grand total...of...$720.00.

In Los Angeles, I believe, that's the typical weekly grocery bill.

That's if you get to 100 large. Most shows don't do that well. Few do in fact. Of, course, my math could be all wrong (probably is) and I'm prejudiced by what appear to be very picayune figures. The Writers Guild would say that I've missed the point. This is about the FUTURE. This is about erasing PAST INJUSTICES. This is about GETTING OUR FAIR SHARE and tapping into the DISTRIBUTION PIPELINE OF THE NEXT DECADE. In that sense, they're certainly right. The producers wanted to indefinitely delay any new media payout pending a "careful industry study." Oh, yeah, we know all about THOSE careful industry studies.

For writers, the crucible that this strike was forged upon were DVDs. Twenty years ago, scribes pretty much abdicated any significant residual stream from videos because they were an unknown new business, and who the heck knew what they were gonna do? Videos boomed, then DVDs; writers got chump change from this revolution. Ironically, DVD residuals ended up taking a back seat in this negotiation because the Guild was hell-bent on getting Internet residuals.

A stray thought here: What if the real cash comes from DVDs in the next ten years, while downloading and streaming remain small potatoes? Clearly, the "distributors' gross" from the sale of a DVD is going to be far higher than an Internet sale simply because DVDs cost more.

One more stray thought: I think this battle was as much about the past as the future. Knotted deep within the DNA of Hollywood is distrust between writers and suits. Writers always think the suits are trying to screw them over - either financially or creatively; suits think writers are whiny layabouts who dress badly. Both camps hate each other and almost always have - though you have to go way back to the '20s when the first stirrings of this antipathy occurred. It's a fascinating, complex, serpentine story, but I think this latest strike proved (once again and thanks, Faulkner) that the past isn't dead - it isn't even past.

(Above: Irving Thalberg, left, who first did battle with scribes back in the '20s and '30s, alongside Norma Shearer and LB, who had his own share of battles; picture from "The Lion of Hollywood," by Scott Eyman.)

For sale on Ebay soon.

You can - as Dan Rather might say - put a period, end, full-stop and exclamation mark on the writers' strike of 2007-08.

The Guild got a positive reax to the proposed deal in meetings on both coasts last night. It now goes to general membership for vote, but the strike won't be lifted until Wednesday. WGA bosses met today to make a formal pronouncement, allowing writers 48 hours to mull the deal, and then vote yea or nay - the latter, per a press conference today, considered unlikely to derail the deal announced today.

Monday was the expected start date, but instead, so-called show-runners will return to work tomorrow, setting up shop - so to speak - and preparing to re-hire all those hundreds who were fired.

There was plenty of reason for celebration by writers - anxious to end this crippling strike - though they didn't get everything they wanted at the outset. One scribe explained, "I do feel the Guild made amazing strikes [and] the two things I am most happy with are [the fact] there are no sunset clauses like the [Directors Guild]" while this deal goes to May of 2011, "not November or February which aligns us three years from now with SAG and DGA. If we didn't get stuff this round we will be stronger next go round."

What "stuff" might that be? Representing animation and reality writers for one; and Sunday morning at ...ohh, 10:30 ...it's still unclear whether writers got any residuals for DVDs. That was a key striking point, and an emotional rallying point as well, but hardly any word (best I can tell) in the proposed agreement addressing this. They got a boost in residuals for streaming and downloads, but only after so many downloads. (See below.)

Meanwhile, I share this handy Reuters wrap that goes over the numbers: All the key stats that give you an overview of the cost, human and financial, of the now-ended strike:

The following are some economic factors at stake in the strike by some 10,500 members of the Writers Guild of America.

* The motion picture and television industry generates $30 billion in annual economic activity for Los Angeles County alone.

* About 254,000 people are directly employed in the county's film and television industry -- from actors and directors to hairstylists, set designers, truck drivers and clerks. That is double the number who worked in the industry 20 years ago.

* The Los Angeles Economic Development Corp. estimates at least $650 million in wages have been lost in the region's film and television industry since the strike began Nov. 5, with $1.2 billion more in lost earnings caused by a ripple effect in the local economy.

* The last major Hollywood strike was in 1988, when a 22-week walkout by the WGA delayed the start of that year's fall television season and hit the entertainment industry with at least $500 million in lost earnings.

* Production on some 60 prime-time television dramas and comedies normally filmed in the Los Angeles area were shut down by the latest strike, idling roughly 11,000 crew members.

* A private industry analysis reported by Daily Variety projects that lost spending on U.S. film and television production would reach about $3 billion if the strike were to last another two to three months, with collateral economic losses topping $5 billion.

* A key stumbling block in contract talks had been writers' demands for higher "residual" fees when their work is resold in the form of Internet downloads. The union originally sought 2.5 percent of the distributor's gross revenues, while the studios wanted to hold the rate to the equivalent of just 0.3 percent. The tentative deal would pay 0.7 percent of gross revenues, but that rate only kicks in after the first 50,000 downloads for movies and 100,000 downloads for television.

* The U.S. download-to-own market for movies and television episodes -- a small but growing chunk of entertainment revenues -- was expected to reach $315 million at the end of 2007 and nearly $1.2 billion by 2011, according to PricewaterhouseCoopers.

* Payments of all residuals to screenwriters amount to more than $100 million a year, according to industry figures. The union says such payments account for as much as half the income earned by "middle class" writers who make up the bulk of the WGA's membership.

The writers' meeting in New York has ended, and the mood, per press reports, was good.

Very good.

Does that mean ratification? Well, let's see what happens in L.A. - the big meet at the Shrine starts in two and a half hours - but if the NY meet is a foretaste, then expect this strike to be over by Monday.

"This is a historic moment for writers in this country," said Michael Moore to reporters outside the Crowne Plaza (as quoted by Variety.) "There is a certain irony about the achievement. I would have thought it'd be autoworkers or ironworkers getting this victory but instead it's the people who got beat up in school for writing in their journals."

"Late Night with David Letterman" writer Bill Scheft talked to reporters too, and he's been quoted everywhere, saying he likes the deal. Also Seth Myers, of "SNL," who was apparently so confident of resolution that he told Variety that the show could be up and running as soon as Feb. 16.

So what is the caveat? Simply this: That most NY-based writers are a slightly different breed of cat from their west coast counterparts, who write dramas and sitcoms. (NY-based writers are heavily represented in late night and daytime.)

Will the west coasters have a different reax?

We all await...

The striking writers - 13,000 of them from coast to coast - finally got specifics of their proposed new deal very early this morning, and the letter sent to them from WGA leadership contains this not entirely rosy overview:

"Over these three difficult months, we shut down production of nearly all scripted content in TV and film and had a serious impact on the business of our employers in ways they did not expect and were hard pressed to deflect. Nevertheless, an ongoing struggle against seven, multinational media conglomerates, no matter how successful, is exhausting, taking an enormous personal toll on our members and countless others. As such, we believe that continuing to strike now will not bring sufficient gains to outweigh the potential risks and that the time has come to accept this contract and settle the strike."

Writers in New York are meeting today (and through tonight, probably late tonight) to get a sense of whether they should accept or reject this new deal, which DOES include remuneration for "new media" which is what they put up the fight for in the first place. But the language is complicated, and convoluted - and I'm not certain but I don't think it addresses DVD residuals either.

By the way, as my colleague, Diane, (below) notes, the LA Times is all over this, but for an especially good tic toc of the action throughout the day and night, also go to deadlinehollywood.com.

So what's up with the Hollywood strike that's taken away so much scripted TV? Writers Guild members are meeting today (Saturday, Feb. 9) to hear about the tentative deal hammered out by their negotiating team with the networks/studios.

Our corporate brethren and sistren at the Los Angeles Times are covering this hometown-industry story like a blanket. Here's their latest dispatch.

They've done it again! Another MSNBC on-air dude insulting Hillary.

What is going on over there across the river?

In any event, a couple weeks ago, Chris Matthews whacks Hill - then apologizes. Yesterday, reporter David Shuster jokingly talks about Chelsea being "pimped out" by the campaign. Now...yes, HE's apologized, too. But apparently he didn't grovel enough: MSNBC has just announced that Shuster was suspended (a fate, notably, that Matthews avoided.) No word for how long.

Here's the MS statement:

"On Thursday's 'Tucker' on MSNBC, David Shuster, who was serving as guest-host of the program, made a comment about Chelsea Clinton and the Clinton campaign that was irresponsible and inappropriate. Shuster, who apologized this morning on MSNBC and will again this evening, has been suspended from appearing on all NBC News broadcasts, other than to make his apology. He has also extended an apology to the Clinton family. NBC News takes these matters seriously, and offers our sincere regrets to the Clintons for the remarks.

"Both the Clinton and Obama campaigns accepted invitations from us on Thursday evening to participate in a February 26th debate. Our conversations with the Clinton campaign about their participation continue today, and we are hopeful that the event will take place as planned."

Much of the story is on HuffPo, but if you want to go directly to the Shuster clip, here it is right now.

Was this serious? Well, her campaign boss did threaten to pull out of the next (MS-sponsored) debate, so...

Here's the AP on the foot-in-mouth attack at MS:

"Howard Wolfson [campaign boss] called the comment 'beneath contempt' and disgusting.I, at this point, can't envision a scenario where we would continue to engage in debates on that network,'" he added.

With an end to the writers' strike possibly -- take a deep breath -- at hand, are you wondering whether your favorite show will be back?

Well, check out this handy-dandy chart compiled by our hard-working fellow corporate drones at the L.A. Times. It'll tell you every thing you need to know about which show will survive or which won't. Hint: "Cavemen" is probably dead.

Darn.

Three LI contestants next week on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" (weekdays at 12:30 p.m. on WABC/7):

Monday, Feb. 11 -- Mark Czachor, West Babylon, a science teacher at Garden City Middle School who also coaches wrestling at Garden City High School. (He plays on Tuesday, Feb. 12, too.)

Wednesday, Feb. 13 -- John Leonard, Mount Sinai attorney.

Friday, Feb. 15 -- John Yandrasits, Merrick, tour manager for rock’s Revelation Theory.

[Photos of (left to right) Czachor, Leonard, Yandrasits, courtesy Valleycrest Productions Ltd.]

Big weekend in high-def homes. First comes Universal HD’s first-season marathon of “Jericho,” the fan fave starting its second season on CBS Tuesday night at 10 (Feb. 12).

“Jericho” on Universal HD runs from Saturday 10 p.m. to Sunday 8 p.m. (Feb. 9-10), catching viewers up to speed on all the post-nuke drama. You can read all about second-season plans in Newsday’s Sunday feature story interview with producer Carol Barbee.

High-def homes with access to the HDNet Movies channel can also enjoy “Lawrence of Arabia” Sunday at 6:15 p.m. (Feb. 10). This is the restored director’s cut of the epic 1962 adventure with Peter O’Toole and Omar Sharif that made the AFI’s Top 100 Movies list at No. 5. The film repeats on HDNet Movies later Sunday night at 12:30 a.m. and four more times this month.

Better enjoy it tonight and the rest of the season. Because The CW won’t be carrying “WWE Friday Night SmackDown” next year.

The wrestling conglomerate has announced the network declined to pick up another run of mayhem, leaving it to negotiate with “other networks” to carry the two-hour block, which originally aired on UPN and then on CW after the UPN/WB merger.

After watching last night’s “Lost,” I couldn’t get this mystery out of my head.

No, not what the heck is Ben up to, but rather, where I had seen this guy before?

The man in question played Miles, one of the four “rescuers.” When he’s not parachuting onto the island. he apparently works as some kind of ghostbuster. Dude also has a serious chip on his shoulder.

Then it dawned on me: Miles, or Ken Leung, the actor who played him, appeared in a memorable "Sopranos” episode last year. He played one of Uncle Junior’s fellow “rest home” residents, a poker-playing guy with — hey! — a big-time chip on his shoulder.

If you recall, there was some flack kicked up when that episode ran because Leung’s character, Carter Chong, was an Asian-American with a serious rage issue. It aired on April 22, just six days after Seung-Hui Cho massacred 32 people at Virginia Tech, spurring some critics to lambaste HBO for bad taste. Alas, it was nothing more than bad timing.

Anyway, I’m glad I figured out that mystery. Now, I can get back to figuring out what the heck is going on with Ben.

(ABC photo of Ken Leung as Miles.)

With all due respect to Churchill, these do seem to be the big questions on the eve of this momentous weekend in the entertainment industry.

You know - questions about the writers strike. The thing that's kept shows like "American Gladiators" far too long on the air (and "24" off the air probably for the rest of the year, and "Grey's Anatomy" MIA.)

Will this weekend's meet be the end? Or the beginning of a long and brutal stalemate?

In the last 12-24 hours, there have been a lot of declarations on both sides (see: Eisner, below.) Some say its over. Some say it ain't over until it's over.

Tomorrow, the writers meet together with the Guild leadership to review particulars of the deal before them. ALL writers on both coasts have been urged to attend, which means a very big and very disparate and VERY noisy meet. Anyone who expects 13,000 people to sing Kumbaya in merry unison is either foolish or ignorant or full of wishful thinking. This strike has caused so much anger and disrupted so many lives - THEIR lives - that it's impossible to imagine perfect unity.

Bottom line: Anything could happen this weekend.

So let's say - hypothetically - I'm a writer whose electricity was turned off a week ago, and who's wondering whether that job at McDonald's will come through.

After so much sacrifice, here are the questions I would want positive answers to this weekend:

1.) Will our DVD rate be increased to 8 cents?

This is what put me on the street in the first place. I've been screwed out of home video and DVD residuals for two decades. All I want is my fair share here - 8 cents. If you tell me we're still gonna get paid 4 cents for ever $19.95 video that's sold then put my vote in the "no" column.

2.) Will we get a 2.5 percent residual on both streaming AND downloads of our shows on the Internet?

If the answer is no, again, then my answer is no, again. What's the point? Wasn't this all about getting our Internet rate (with no distinction between downloads and streaming) the same as our TV residual, which IS 2.5 percent (or 2.5 cents for every dollar the studio gets?) I've read all the press reports - you know, that we'll get this by the third year of our deal - but I'm still confused.

So there you have it, friends. The bottom line (again), and the two numbers (8 cents and 2.5 percent) that drove this strike in the first place. What are the answers? What are the compromises? Will the hardliners outvote those who want to accept the "compromise?" Or vice versa?

In other words, this strike really isn't over until it's over. Let's wait until this weekend to see what happens.

We’ll forgive TV Land for adding “Just Shoot Me” to their schedule long enough to give ‘em some props for airing two of the funniest episodes in TV history Sunday night.

Not surprisingly, both of ‘em come from “I Love Lucy.” (Both are part of a programming stunt called “Ricky Loves Lucy Valentine’s Day,” which runs from 8-10 p.m. and is repeated the same time on Thursday, V-Day.)

At 8:30 it’s the Dec. 8, 1952 episode in which Lucy lets Ricky know — or attempts to let him know — that she is expecting. Remember, back then you couldn’t even say the word “pregnant” on TV. After many delays and interruptions, she finally breaks the news while Ricky is performing at the Tropicana. She slips him a note about the "blessed event", but Ricky misunderstands, thinking the message is for someone else. When he realizes that he is the expectant father, he breakd down, singing “We're Having a Baby.”

At 9 it’s the classic episode in which Lucy gives birth to Little Ricky. (Twelve hours earlier Lucille Ball, had given birth to Desi Arnaz Jr.) The episode aired on Jan. 19, 1953, 72% of all American homes with television sets, about 44 million viewers, tuned in. That’s 15 million more than tuned in the next day to watch President Eisenhower’s inauguration.

Fifty-five years later, it’s no secret why America liked Ike, but loved Lucy.

If you can believe Michael Eisner - and you can, can't you? - then we've got great news for you: The writers strike is over.

He's a guy, I should add, who's in a pretty good position to know, and not just because he ran Disney for what seemed like an eternity; he also runs his own investment company (Tornante) that has stakes in media companies, so he's got money in the game.

But not too fast. This from a WGA spokesperson just a little while ago: "The strike is NOT over - as you know, we are under a press blackout, but I can tell you that the strike is NOT over."

Eisner made his "it's over" declaration a few hours ago during an interview on CNBC's "Fast Company, Eisner - the feisty former chairman of the Mousehouse, now with an occasional hosting gig on CNBC, was flat-out blunt (he always is) about the end. He told anchor Dylan Rattigan "They [studios and writers] made the deal, they shook hands on the deal. It’s going on Saturday to the writers in general" for agreement. He was apparently referring to scheduled meetings here and in Los Angeles between writers and the Writers Guild scheduled for this Saturday. He added, "A deal has been made. They’ll be back to work very soon. I know it’s over."

Eisner's declaration is the first by an industry bigshot affirming widespread reports over the weekend that a deal had been struck Feb. 1. Both studios and the Guild, under a self-imposed media blackout while negotiations have been underway, declined comment, while a spokeswoman for the WGA could not be immediately reached for comment.

He also took a potshot at the writers: "I think this was not the time [to strike]. If there was going to be a strike, it should have been three years from now when you really knew the definition of the online business and where you knew the revenues were coming. I think a lot of writers lost their deals and they will not be reinstated," referring to dozens of those writer/producer contracts that were terminated by the studios over the last month.

Here's the place to go to see Big Mike insist that the fat lady has sung.

(Photo: Forbes.)

Yes, this story was way to good to be true - another joyously ridiculous example of our over-entertained age - but now the question is: What this just another one of those web hoaxes (that are too good to be true?)

I'm speaking of that Hillary Clinton invite to "Dancing with the Stars" that made the rounds everywhere yesterday. The genesis of it was a little difficult to track - TMZ claims it had the story first, though TVGuide.com lays authorship off on "ET."

What am I talking about? Simply this - and I quote fully from the TVGuide.com story:

"ET reports that [Dancing with the Stars] invited the presidential hopeful to appear on the tour after she expressed an interest in the show during an interview with Tyra Banks. (Clinton said that if she had to choose between appearing on America's Next Top Model or Dancing, she'd go with the latter.)"

That's it; yuk yuk. We were all left to ponder Hillary doing the Mambo with Derek Hough or maybe Jonathan Roberts. And also wonder: Why would "DWTS" send her a letter to join the tour when they know full well that she'd have no intention of joining? Ever.

Yuk yuk.

But what if this was all one of those dumb stunts, cooked up to fool the press (and maybe embarass a candidate too)?

TMZ claims it got a copy of a letter/invite from the show, and has posted it on its site. (It takes a little while to download; be patient.) But something like this, of course, would be very easy to fake.

I tried to get a comment from ABC, and they sent me to "DWTS'" uber-PR agency, Solters.

Here was their one-line response, received last night: "We weren't able to confirm the letter's authenticity."

I'll leave it to you to figure out the meaning of this. It seems obvious to me.

I'm just catching up with this tragic news now, so apologies for the late file, but John McWethy, ABC's former Pentagon reporter, was killed in a skiing accident in Colorado.

Here's the top of the AP piece filed late yesterday:

KEYSTONE, Colo. — John McWethy, a retired ABC News correspondent who had to flee the Pentagon after the 2001 attacks but continued reporting live, died Wednesday after a skiing accident. He was 61.

Witnesses said McWethy was skiing fast on an intermediate trail when he missed a turn and slid chest-first into a tree, Summit County Coroner Joanne L. Richardson said. McWethy died of blunt force injuries, she said."

David Westin, ABC News president, also released a statement which read (in part): "He was one of those very rare reporters who knew his beat better than anyone, and had developed more sources than anyone, and yet, kept his objectivity."

My recollections of McWethy: as an extraordinarily solid and meticulous pro, who helped make "World News Tonight" (now just called "World News") probably the best of the three nightly news programs for the better part of a decade. He was closely allied with Peter Jennings' broadcast (naturally) over those many years, so I - and I'm sure you - best remember him from Sept. 11. But there were many, many other instances; he was one of those reporters who would come on screen - another is CBS's David Martin - and instantly capture your attention, because you knew that what you were about to hear was both momentous and absolutely, unerringly accurate. He was just a flat-out first-rate TV correspondent.

For more on McWethy, go to Poynter.org, where Bob Steele has posted a personal tribute.

Also, here's Bob Zelnick - ABC's former Pentagon legman, now a prof at BU, on McWethy:

“I helped recruit Jack from U.S. News in the late 1970s and assigned him to the Pentagon beat. There, along with competitors Fred Francis of NBC and David Martin of CBS, he transformed the beat from a sleepy understaffed outpost to the most competitive center for enterprise reporting in Washington.

“Jack was a gifted journalist. He had great sources and knew issues relating to both theory and hardware. He reported with neither fear nor favor. When he chose to transfer to the State Department as Chief National Security Correspondent, I replaced him at the Pentagon and remained there for eight years until Jack returned.

“He was a valuable and valued colleague whose integrity adorned him like a tailored cloak. He will be missed.”

Remember Sayville's Tom Westman?

How could you forget?! He won "Survivor" back in May of 2005 and was (arguably) the most popular winner in the show's history. Everyone liked him - even those he clocked on the show, which he won with a combination of smarts, class and unusual stamina.

He was a genuine "favorite," but - bizarrely - you won't be seeing him in tonight's favorites/fans" season launch. You can determine for yourself whether this line-up is a "favorite" one. In any event...this all gave me an opportunity to catch up with Tom, and there's a lot of catching up to do. Here's how AP reported the winner nearly three years ago: "On Sunday night, Tom Westman was a reality TV star and the winner of a $1 million-dollar prize.On Thursday morning, he was just another New York City fire lieutenant.

"Westman returned to work at Ladder Company 108 in Brooklyn today, after winning the top prize in CBS's 'Survivor: Palau.' And, despite his instant fame after spending 30 days on an uninhabited island, he says he's just one of the guys...'They don't suffer prima donnas too well in a New York City firehouse.'"

Tom - as you're likely aware - is no longer with 108; instead, he's a group benefits executive with the Hartford in New York. Yeah, he was contacted about the "favorite" edition, but declined; as he told me (quoted in today's paper), "I've got a year invested in a career," then added with
a laugh: "The bottom line is, no one's going to give you the money the second time around."

"I've got my friends from that little moment I had there [on Palau.] Jen [Lyon] was out and stayed at the house. Ian [Rosenberger] was out. We see each other...Gregg [Carey] and Stephanie [LaGrossa]. Talked to two days ago. The people who were close to me, I kept just as close [afterwards.]"

Why did he go back to work and what happened to the million?

"Basically you walk away with half of that [after taxes] and then I invested the rest in [college savings plans for three kids, ages 8,10, and 12.] After [buying a new] car and a couple of home improvements, it's time to work again."

Nevertheless, he says the money and experience were "huge" and "life-changing...In fact, it let let me try and start a new career. I get the 5:44 out of Sayville [to Penn] so it's kind of changed my life, from a guy who watched Letterman [to someone] tucked in by 10..."

Does he miss the firehouse? Sure! But..."if I went back and rolled back the clock, most of those guys are gone anyway, so that old 'you can't go home again' line still exists. I still see them, and people can't believe I'm happy doing anything but that, but I feel kind of like the way you feel when you left college. You knew those were the best days of your life, but you also don't wish you were still there, still hanging around the dorm at this stage. So I'm trying to figure out where this new life leads me."

By the way - and he's glad you asked - yes, his wife, Bernadette, is doing great.

The auditions - which seemed to go on forever and ever and ever - ended last night, but I was intrigued (again) by what seems to be the continuation of a trend gripping this edition. For want of a better term (and I will try and cook one up one of these days), it's the advent of the Semi-Pro (or Highly Polished) Who Already Has an Established Fanbase. I was struck by two worthies last night, both of whom certainly deserved to advance, but both of whom have unique qualifications that make 'em stand out from the rest.

The first is Cardin Lee McKinney, the Nashville waitress (I believe) who has a sizable Internet following (already!) and who's even posted herself about being featured in some USA Today story from January (though I couldn't locate.) I thought she was good; Simon seemed non-plussed; she's attractive, poised, and looks like someone who's done this before. And almost certainly has! (Not that there's anything wrong with that, which there isn't..) But you've got to check out her Myspace profile, easily attainable after a simple Google search. I do believe this is the most amazing Myspace profile I've ever seen - more like a highly polished promotion that should help when voting begins.

Next up and even more intriguing: JoAnn Borgella (who's name was either mis-spelled on the screen bumper, or who has changed her spelling.) She was the young woman from Hoboken; Paula said she seemed to have had issues with weight control.

Bingo, Paula! How astute. Not only has Joanne - the spelling on the Web - had problems but she even won Miss F.A.T. (or whatever it was called) on that Mo'Nique reality contest on Oxygen (not that I've ever seen it, mind you...) She's also a plus-size model and aspiring actress. Check out her website. I also have reason to believe Joanne comes from the Island, and when I found out where, you will be the first to know...

Anything wrong with any of this? You know - aspiring actors and singers, and astute designers of Myspace profiles? Of course not...You've gotta get a leg-up on the comp anyway you can...more power to both of 'em. I just find it intriguing that "Idol" never tells anyone about the full (or fuller) story behind contestants in these early rounds. I wonder why...

Thought I'd have a full clip of Letterman and Eli from last night but - alas - we've only got the shortened CBS version on DaveTV. (Sorry...) For those who missed last night, it does - however - give a pretty good flavor of the encounter. When/if/or I get something better, will post.

No disrespect intended, but the passing of the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, the guru to the stars, made me immediately think of one of my favorite ‘60s episodes of all time.

That would be the 1968 “Groovy Guru” episode of “Get Smart,” which captured perfectly how adult TV writers tried to get their heads around the youth culture of the 1960s. In it, Larry (“F Troop”) Storch plays the title character, whose evil spells are causing the nation’s teenagers to incessantly dance. It’s up to Max and 99 to thwart his insidious plans.

Here’s a more detailed description of the episode, courtesy of the “Get Smart”-obsessed folks at wouldyoubelieve.com:

The episode, by the way, was ranked as one of the 100 best episodes ever by TV Guide.

Again, apologies to M.M. Yogi (as the Newsday obit’s headline called him — I’ve never seen him referred to as such), but what can I say, this is how my mind works.

Photo: Larry Storch as the Groovy Guru

A split decision!

No massive screw-ups. (No noticeable screw-ups of any sort). Solid coverage. Good graphics. Competent field reporting. Amazingly detailed and informed commentary. Lower thirds...well, a little more on that in a bit.

All in all, a pretty good night of TV coverage.

But during an historic evening, personalities - network personalities - tend to emerge, stripped of flackery or spin, they show their true colors. Last night wasn't about "who was first" but "who was most watchable," which is a whole different metric. So let's just go network by network:

CNN: By God, it's Grand Central Station at five, with bodies moving endlessly, restlessly, about the cavernous set, and anchors trolling for commentary from one set of desks to the next; meanwhile, where were all those people in the background going? To get coffee? Find the bathroom? WHAT DO ALL THOSE PEOPLE AT CNN DO? To watch CNN for any length of time last night was to induce motion sickness - with so much activity, and that wall of verbal sound, accompanied by hand-held cameras and a lower third - bottom portion of the screen - stuffed with more information that the Manhattan directory, you start to get the sense that you’re swimming in an aquarium over-filled with lovely, exotic, tropical, and slightly deranged fish. You start to lose perspective (why is Anderson walking to one desk, why Wolf to another). Up becomes down, down up, the chatter is voluminous..and that magic wall? Amazing!

Best part: John King's mastery of said wall. To watch his dissection of Missouri was to get a real sense of what vote counting is really all about. Worst: Lou Dobbs. When he smiles the screen cracks, and his outright dismissal of McCain (the three Repubs are all equal!) smacked of pure, bilious bias. Fox's ill-disguised pro-Romney bias was equally grotesque.

MSNBC: The less-is-more approach, and Keith Olbermann to boot (who, yes, is the personification of more-is-more...) The tactic here was to create a distinct visual anti-thesis of CNN, and in some ways that was the better approach. While CNN overwhelmed ( a sign of innate insecurity?) MS usually underwhelmed. MSNBC also kept your eyes focused on the screens, ears attuned to the speaker. It was a less disorienting experience as a result.


Best part: Olbermann, hands down. Love him or hate him, when that giant manhead fills the screen, and that near-parodic anchorman voice fills your ears, you tend to pay attention. But he also had a "please explain this baffling business to me" attitude which brought everything down to earth. Analyst Chuck Todd - if I'm not mistaken - also had the first clear, or at least intelligible, snapshot of the final delegate count. Worst part: That torture chamber, or the set from "Tron" (per Keith) where anchors were encased while they dodged swirling and unintelligible graphic bars.

Fox: Spend much time with Fox and you feel like you want to sidle up to a bar somewhere and order a Mai Tai. It - the set - is all so dark and sinuous and alluring, who the hell wants to leave? Then...here comes Megyn Kelly – good, by the way - and the effect is complete. But then the dissonance: When Brit (Hume) and Michael Barone get together (for example), you wonder: what language are they speaking? And then, those little swooshing sounds when a state's called and the bumper spins - you look over your shoulder to see if a bird just flew in the window. Karl Rove - the master of dark arts for the Bushies - was pretty good, but occasionally incomprehensible too. With that soaring dome and all those shiny spots, you also realize: TV is not kind to him. He like everyone else was scratching his math on the back of envelopes, and you wonder yet again: with all that money poured into the set, not enough $ left over for Fox to afford NOTEPADS?

The best: The set and the best of all the networks, period. Hume, who always looks like he's having a pretty good time, was a solid center.
The worst: Like CNN, Fox and its bounty of T-heads babble over the rest of us, the great unwashed, who are left wondering..."uhhh, what did that guy say?"

ABC: Visually, the cleanest look of anyone - plenty of blues, reds, black suits (but then everyone last night wore black) and exquisite ties. There's something terribly British and civilized about the ABC style on election nights - no one raises their voice, or is disputatious, or uncivil. Diane - regal of bearing - completes the effect while Charlie is the grand pooh-bah, with baritone voice and jowly good humor. ABC likes containment - nothing flies around the screen, while direction is steady-as-she-goes. It's all nice, very nice, to look at but devoid of pitched drama or surging emotion. Staid...I think that's the word I'm reaching for.

Best: Di. The queen was terrific. Worst: Tone. It...was...just...too...dull.

CBS: Think back four years ago to this night, and who was sitting here? Dan? Ed Bradley? Probably some other icon? Last night: Katie, who had a fabulous hairstyle with a dashing little flip that made her look like a '20s flapper. But get past this stuff - no apologies, but I just can't - and you realize she had a pretty good night. She was poised, and smart and well prepared, and simple. The drama? It was here: Bob Schieffer, the last lion, would talk about something and then she'd start chattering, and he'd keep chattering and then she'd keep chattering...WHO IS GOING TO GIVE UP THE MIKE, you wonder? Then, there is Jeff Greenfield - terrific, as always, last night - who stood down (and where can I buy the ringtone on his cell?)
CBS, overall, had a good night - even though you could tell they didn't spend ten bucks on their set. My bet is that millions of viewers at home had better-equipped dens then this set.

The best: CBS's lower third. Someone had the brains to realize that the only count that mattered was the DELEGATE count, which is what the screen graphics paid attention to. It was very simple, and effective. The worst: Some irrelevant remote from a New York bar; an absolute waste of airtime.

NBC: "The Biggest Loser" - the show, that is - crowds NBC out of the action until 10 p.m., which was an eternity of invisibility. As a result, if you want a real loser last night, look no further than here. They weren't bad, just irrelevant. Brian Williams comes on and says Ann Curry's been sifting through a "mountain of numbers" - I doubt that very much - and then we get a few crumbs.

The best: Honestly, didn't see much, but I did like Williams' interview with Bill Richardson; Tim Russert, as always, was solid too. The worst: The simple fact that NBC just doesn't seem to give a damn anymore. At least MSNBC does.

Craig Ferguson, host of CBS' "Late Late Show," is coming to Long Island.

The new American citizen will perform his stand-up act at North Fork Theatre at Westbury on June 27 at 8 p.m., the venue announced today. Tickets, priced at $49.50 and $39.50, go on sale Sunday.

In other Craig news: He revealed Tuesday that he’s been booked as the entertainer at the annual White House correspondents’ dinner in Washington, scheduled for April 26. He described the correspondents’ dinner as “like the Oscars for
politicians.”

Good news for “House” fans who couldn’t stay up till midnight to see Sunday's post-Super Bowl episode. Fox just announced it will repeat (sorry, “encore”) the South Pole hour guest-starring Mira Sorvino on Friday, Feb. 15 at 9 p.m.

“House” will continue to “encore” at that Friday hour through April 18, Fox says.

Thirty million viewers watched the Sunday airing. Sez the net, “Sunday night’s ‘House’ was the show’s highest rated episode ever across all demos and the highest rated scripted program on any network in two years among Adults 18-49 and Total Viewers. Additionally, the episode was Fox’ highest rated scripted series telecast in over 10 years in Adults 18-49 as well as in 11 years in Total Viewers.”

Another new episode airs tonight (Tuesday, Feb. 5) at 9 p.m., as Hugh Laurie’s character digests the Sunday news flash that best bud Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard) is dating the Cutthroat [Witch] he cut from his medical team (Anne Dudek).

[Enjoy this Fox photo of the lovely couple.]

Finally!

A genuine benefit of the writers' strike: The networks will wash out so-called "entertainment" programming tonight (don't worry - that doesn't mean "American Idol") for soup-to-nuts coverage of Super Tuesday.

Ummm. what's going on?

I ask because the networks - outside of Sunday, morning shows and the nightly news ghettos - sometimes like to pretend that there isn't even a political race for the WH going on. If you were from Mars (let's say for argument sake), then you might think one of the most exciting issues facing Americans was: Shanay or Evan? Just who WILL advance to the finals of "American Gladiators?"

What's going on is the simple fact that people are interested in politics: CNN got an unheard-of 8 million viewers for last week's debate, which would be a big number for any of the commercial majors; so it's off to the political races they go.

Here's quick run-down of everything tonight - with grateful acknowledgment to Chris Ariens of TVnewser.com who did much of this legwork. (And by the way, if you're looking for a quick non-TV wrap of some of the big questions looming, check out Glenn Thrush's posting. It's worth a look.)


• ABC: Diane Sawyer, George Stephanopoulos, Charles Gibson team for a five-hour blanket-coverage starting at 8:

- Why watch: At least ABC made an effort to cover Iowa/New Hampshire/Florida in primetime, which suggests seriousness of purpose. Also, the three leads are certainly solid and competent though offer little in the way of flash. But who needs flash when there are 26 states to get through?; plus, I like Jake Tapper.

• CBS: Katie Couric, along with Jeff Greenfield,Bob Schieffer and...Joe Trippi; stars at 9.

- Why watch: Schieffer and Greenfield, period. I felt sorry - almost - for Greenfield during Iowa/NH/Florida, who had to sit on his hands while former employer CNN went nuts with magic charts and whatnot. He's a terribly smart and knowledgeable guy who needs the camera; didn't get that at CBS when it counted most. Will make some amends tonight. Also, Trippi, who's another political encyclopedia.

• NBC: Brian Williams, Tim Russert, Tom Brokaw, starting at ten.

- Why watch: Why TEN? NBC's happy to punt everything to MSNBC, so one wonders why hardcore MSNBC viewers would feel a need to switch to NBC at ten, or why NBC viewers - goaded all night to switch to MSNBC - wouldn't have already vacated the main network by this time? What's the point? Simply to plant a flag? This effort feels half-hearted.

• CNN: forty hours of coverage! At least that's the promise. There aren't enough hours in a day (obviously) to fill CNN's appetite for this stuff (which is why it'll flow into the next day.) On-air line-up: Wolf Blitzer, Lou Dobbs, Anderson Cooper, Soledad O'Brien and Campbell Brown. Also starring: that "multi-touch" screen that sometimes has a mind of its own.

- Why watch: Certainly for the personalities - who include Mr./Ms. Multi-Touch. There are an awful lot of cooks in this kitchen, and though Wolf's head chef, I suspect Lou thinks otherwise. Also, this is Campbell's first major outing for CNN - supe Tuesday.

• FNC: Karl Rove joins up tonight! Brit Hume is anchormaster starting at 8, but Neil Cavuto, Shepard Smith and Trace Gallagher handle chores from four to six. Brit Hume takes over at 8.

- Why watch: Did I mention Karl Rove already? That's the major reason, of course - his first TV-post-Bush-White-House foray. This should be intriguing, no matter what he says. Also, Hume: He's become the de facto solid/ leading-man/ anchorly type on all of cable news.

• MSNBC: Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews are the evening folks (starting at 6), with analysis from Pat Buchanan and Rachel Maddow. Russert/Williams/Brokaw should dip in and out, too.

- Why watch: Coverage of Iowa/NH/Florida was pretty good, even if Matthews is insufferable.

Even though Barry Morse appeared in more than 3,000 TV, film and stage roles, he’ll always be best remembered as the relentless Lt. Philip Gerard on “The Fugitive.” The Canadian actor died Saturday at 89, although his death was not announced until Monday.

For four seasons, Lt. Gerard doggedly pursued Dr. Richard Kimble (David Janssen), a prisoner wrongfully convicted of murdering his wife.

The series opened in 1963 with Gerard taking Kimble to the Big House to be executed when the train in which they were riding derailed. Gerard was knocked unconscious and Kimble escaped.

Their cat-and-mouse game ended on Aug. 29, 1967 in “The Fugitive’s” final episode when Gerard shot the infamous one-armed man, the true killer of Kimble’s wife. At the time, the episode was the most-watched in TV history.

“He thought it was a good show -- well filmed, well directed and well acted,” the actor’s son Hayward Morse said. “He had nothing disparaging to say about 'The Fugitive.”

And by the way, the name Gerard was inspired by Javert, the relentless pursuer in Victor Hugo’s “Les Miserables.”

Check out the opening sequence from the final episode here.

Photo: David Janssen and Barry Morse in their "Fugitive" days.

So where/what/who/when/why to watch on this Super Tuesday? I'll get a quick network viewers' guide to you shortly, but in the meantime, here's the local TV picture, courtesy News 12.

The bulk of the coverage starts at 5, with live reports from all the campaign headquarters, and there'll be a a 5:30 interview with Nassau County Republican Committee chair Joe Mondello (and McCain supporter.) Then at 7: Lea Tyrrell talks Super Tuesday with political analyst Jerry Kremer - former chair of the state house ways and means. Calls will be taken....

Wall-to-wall live coverage starts at 9, with analysis from Scott Feldman and Tyrrell. Analysts: Kremer and Bruce Blakeman (Board of Commissioners, Port Authority). And per News 12, Colleen McVey and Lauren Sivan "will be taking the pulse of the Democratic and Republican focus groups that we've assembled here in 1 Media."

Also, expect live coverage of candidate speeches as they come, of course.

How about those Super Bowl ads, eh? Our very own colleague Verne Gay registered his judgments here, but viewers are having their say, too.

AOL’s sixth annual Super Sunday Ad Poll ranks these Super Bowl XLII commercials as viewer faves, voted by visitors to AOL Sports as of noon Monday, Feb. 4:

1 Budweiser: "Rocky"
2 Bridgestone: "Squirrel"
3 Coca-Cola: "Balloons"
4 Life Water: "Thriller"
5 E-Trade: "Baby"

The tally keeps getting updated because viewers can still register their votes (through Feb. 10) at AOL’s Super Bowl Ads page, where you can view the dozens of contenders and leave comments, too.

Our super-blogging colleague Neil Best has the local Super Bowl ratings over on his Newsday.com sports Watchdog blog.

Meanwhile, the early Nielsen overnights are reported at our friend Marc Berman's daily newsletter The Programming Insider.

Just added there, the updated nationals: "The Giants vs. Patriots match-up averaged an approximate 89.10 million viewers and a 34.8 rating/67 share among adults 18-49 from 7-10 p.m." Wow.

Another wow were the results for a special post-Super Bowl edition of "House" (delayed considerably in the New York market by WNYW's local post-post-game report, which must have hurt the totals): "The Super Bowl Post Game at 10 p.m. scored an estimated 68.32 million viewers and a 28.2/57 among adults 18-49, while the first-half of a edition of 'House' netted 32.78 million viewers and a 14.4/34 in the [18-49] demo at 10:30 p.m."

UPDATED 4:45 p.m. Feb. 4, 2008 -- CBS now says Eli Manning WON'T be on tonight's Letterman show. He'll appear instead Wednesday night, Feb. 6. Guess Dave wanted Hillary all to himself. Or vice versa.

Original post below.

Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning visits "Late Show With David Letterman" tonight (11:35 p.m. on CBS/2), joining previously scheduled Hillary Clinton for one whopper of an hour.

In the interest of equal time, CBS' Letterman web page is featuring Barack Obama's Top Ten list of campaign promises.

Most of us don’t get NBC Universal’s Chiller channel (or its mystery outlet Sleuth, for that matter, or Universal HD in non-high-def homes).

Here’s more to wish for. This week, Chiller adds two ’90s cult items. First comes Chris Carter’s “Millennium” (Mon-Fri 7 p.m. and 3 a.m.), where the “X-Files” creator hopped on the Y2K bandwagon (gee, remember that?), casting Lance Henriksen as a psychic investigating an end-of-the-world prophecy.

Then comes one of my all-time faves: “Profit,” a twisted eight-episode gem with "Heroes" star Adrian Pasdar [right] as a demented corporate climber who’ll stop at nothing to exact a very psycho sort of revenge. Trust me -- this one is deliriously weird.

The first two hours run Thursday, Feb. 7 at 8 p.m. and midnight. Episodes (including some Fox never aired) then air Thursday at 8 and 11 p.m. Check Chiller’s “Profit” page for details.

Having recovered sufficiently from the Greatest Super Bowl in History (GSBIH), I can now render my verdict on all the other aspects of the big show. With grades, and best moments in boldface. I'm certain I've missed a few here and there (sorry), but Newsday lets you vote for your favorite, if you haven't already.

Here goes..

Jordin Sparks: Starts low and slow with the anthem but crowns if off with that big clean voice. And why wasn't she this good on "Idol?" (A)

Diet Coke: Bad start to Super Bowl ad parade (D).

SalesGenie: Huh? What's a "salesgenie?" Don't know from this. (F).

Under Armour: One of those puzzlers that makes you wonder, what's an "under armour." I'm still not sure (athletic stuff, I think). (C)

Bud Light: The big cheese, and guys will be guys. Droll but predictable. (C -)

Bridgestone: Game's big sponsor has the game's big winner - screaming squirrel, and easily the advertising highlight of GSBIH. (A+)

iTunes: Whatever. (Just tell me how to sync my list). (C)

"Wanted:" The trailer. Did not work. Forgettable. (D)

Godaddy.com: with male heart-racer, Danica Patrick, but just weird, and what the heck is a godaddy? (D).

Fed Ex: Attack of the giant pigeons. Animals to good, if destructive, effect. (B)

"Iron Man:" Trailer. I dunno, he looks like he's made of nickel. Good trailer though. (B)

Corolla: The badger will chew off face if disturbed. Good. Funny. Clever. (B+)

"Leatherheads:" Trailer. Clooney in a muddy comedy? Uh-uh. (D).

Garmin: Napoleon? Whaaa? (D)

CareerBuilder.com: Beating heart on two legs. Disgusting. The worst of the GSBIH ads. (F)

Lifewater: Dancing lizards. Gimmickry for expensive sugar water. (B-)

Yukon Hybrid: That drawing of guy pushing rock up hill. I liked it visually, but still can't fix the idea of a hybrid gashog Yukon in my head. (B)

Bud Light: Poking fun at people with funny accents. That'll sell beer. Right. (D)

Narnia: The best of the trailers. (B+)

T-Mobile: With the round mound of rebound. Not there. (C)

Pepsi/Amazon: Justin Timberlake gets the worst of it. So do viewers. (D)

Doritos: Attack of the giant mouse. Low-budget look that works. (B +)

Daytona 500: The best of the Fox promos - visual dynamo, with aural fireworks. (A)

Ideacast: Semi-naked guy? (D -)

Chase (Protection): Secret agent man. Blah. (D)

"Ax Men": The wood cutters. Remember? Of course you don't. That's the problem. (D).

NFL Network: The in-house ads, with the guy who can't get his story straight. Amusing but will we watch? (B-)

Halftime Show: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. One of the great rockers in history gets center stage at GSBIH, and I'm sorry to say, it was soporific. This recent habit of going to the standards (Stones, McCartney, now Petty) may have broad demographic appeal, as they say in the ad trade, but sometimes at the expense of energy and spontaneity.

Zantac: Heartburn. 'Nuff said. (C -)

SemiPro: No. (D)

Cars.com: Witch doctor. Whatever. (C)

SalesGenie: Still blowing all that IPO money, eh? And still no go - the pandas. (F)

Vitawater: Shaq on horse. Strange. (D)

Bud Light: Cave men discover the bottle opener. Terrible. (D).

Ice Cube Ice Breakers: With Carmen Electra. A bore. (C).

Bridgestone: Alice Cooper...Richard Simmons...great, again. (A)

CareerBuilder: The spider. Hmmm. (C)

Hyundai: Little surprise twist. (B)

Wall-E: "Toy Story" riff. Endless. (D)

E-Trade: The slick talking baby. Creepy. (D)

Geico: The return of the hairy dudes, who offer their critique of the TV show ("what's with the make-up.") Still amuses. (B).

Audi (AKA "Godfather.) I still don't know what was in the bed. (D)

Dell XPS: the exploding PCs. Liked it. (B)

Coke: Stewie and Charlie race for the Coke bottle. This one seems to be the overwhelming favorite of everyone, and understandably. I still like the Screaming Squirrel. (A)

Zohan: Trailer. With Sandler. Dumb and dumber. (D)

Gatorade: Thirsty dog. Only average. (C)

Bud Light: Jackie Moon, AKA, Will Ferrell. The only decent "Light." (B)

Victoria's Secret: For the guys. Eye-opening. (B).

Yes, it is nearly over. Finally. If you can believe the spate of reports out this morning, everywhere from the NYT to Variety, which unequivocally state that a breakthrough on new media payments - long a sticking point - was reached Friday during informal talks between studios and writers.

There's always reason for pessimism, and for a good healthy dose of that, go to Unitedhollywood, which has been a solid barometer of writer sentiment since this walk-off began Nov. 5.

But the simple fact is simple: Neither studios NOR the Writers Guild would have authorized Saturday's media leaks (which of course they did) were they not confident that the end is near. And once that trigger (so to speak) has been pulled, it would be inconceivable to think that some sort of reversal will take place.

In other words, it's almost certainly over.

Without getting into details of the pact (and they're everywhere, but the LA Times seems to have most of the key ones), the BIG question for you and me is: When? When will shows get back on the air, and when will we be able to say goodbye forever to reality twaddle like "The Farmer Wants a Bride Who's An American Gladiator" and get back to the real stuff we tune in for, like "24?"

Great question, and here's my rule of thumb (effectively sanctioned, I should add, by Entertainment Weekly, which put together a pretty good strike survival guide recently): Four to six weeks.

This means that if the strike ends tomorrow, a brand new episode of just about any scripted show could hit the air by early to mid-March. I would go with the four-week-rule of thumb, however. When the green light goes on, shows will be RUSHED, and I do mean rushed, to the air. Four weeks wouldn't be out of the question, especially since it takes typically eight full days to shoot one hour-long drama (for example.) Shows won't have much of a back-load of scripts, if any, since many - "CSI," just one prominent example - used every word they had on the page to squeeze out additional episodes when the strike was on. Under Guild rules, writers were barred from writing anything during the walk-out, but it's inconceivable that many haven't doped out plots of potential episodes in their heads. In fact, they may come back with even better shows - given the simple fact they had so much time to think about them.

In any event, I'm going with the four week rule. This means everything you might imagine it to mean: That a show like "Lost," which had only eight episodes in the can, will now be able to get its full complement of sixteen on the air this season. Many other dramas - with 22-24-episode orders - had only completed one third of those by strike-time; they should be able to add at least eight more fresh episodes as well, if not more.

Of course, the biggest question looming - at least to fans - is "24:" Where does it go from here? Many scenarios have been floated, including a spring/summer run - which I think is unlikely - or a fall 2008 run, which is equally unlikely. Another crazy/unlikely possibility - that "24" bundles up hours into TWO hours per night, or a couple hours per week, which means the show could run unbroken starting in (say) March, and be over by the end of May or early June.

Why unlikely? Only because I think this would be a crushing challenge to the production team - and maybe unnecessary, given the fact that "Idol" will hold the Fox fort until May.

There's much much more to report/speculate. We're just at the beginning of the post-strike era.

Amazing ratings from last night's two major events - the debate and "Lost."

"Lost" got sixteen million - see below - but what about that lovefest...errr, "debate" - between Hill and Obama. Here's the relevant pull-quote from the CNN press release. Take it away, CNN:

"Last night’s CNN Democratic Debate from the Kodak Theater in Los Angeles California is the #1 debate in every demographic among all primary debates in cable news history with 8,324,000 total viewers; 1,257,000 18-34 viewers; 2,963,000 18-49 viewers and 3,257,000 25-54 viewers."

Bottom line: That 8.3 million is, if I'm not mistaken, one of the highest audience levels in CNN's long history. It's truly a remarkable number for CNN.

(Picture courtesy MSNBC)

“Lost” found big ratings for ABC -- big being a relative term in this fragmented era -- and led the network to victory the first night of February sweeps.

Last night’s 9 p.m. season premiere got the series’ best Nielsens in a year, averaging 6.7 in adults 18-49; NBC’s “Celebrity Apprentice” and CBS’ “CSI” managed just 2.8 each. Even the “Lost” recap hour at 8 p.m. earned a 4.9, handily beating Fox’ “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” at 3.1.

Thursday’s “Lost” season premiere drew a total of 16 million viewers. (An estimated 8.3 million watched CNN’s Democratic debate between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.)

More details at the Media Life report here.

Now that we've all experienced the thrill of The Return of "Lost" (parts one and two), I have questions. Many questions. I see that the exemplary website Tvtattle recently posted a "48 'Lost' Questions" - all great ones, by the way - but let's see if we can top that based on just those two hours last night.

And, so here goes (in no logical order whatsoever). Fifty-four questions:
- Why did Locke really kill Naomi - the ravishing Marsha Thomason?
- Is he nuts?
- Is Naomi really dead? (Or course not! Repeat: OF COURSE NOT!)
- Does Miles see ghosts? (Or just talk to them?)
- Where do you buy one of those funky ghost vacuum cleaners anyway?
- (Walmart?)
- What is "The Wire's" Col. Cedric Daniels - Lance Reddick - doing in "Lost" anyway?
- Any chance Bunk Moreland might show up too?
- (And how about Jimmy McNulty?)
- Why did Daniel Faraday squint at the light and talk about the refraction?
- The name "Faraday?"

(Michael Faraday: The great English chemist/physicist who effectively determined the principles of electromagnetism which - ultimately - helped shaped the special theory of relativity, etc.)

- Any significance?
- What do YOU think?
- Why is Karl such a dork?
- Why does Flashforward Jack want to grow a beard?
- Why did he shave it?
- Why does he have such a lousy basketball shot?
- Where is Flashforward Kate?
- Why couldn't SHE visit Hurls in One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest Rest Home?
- Where is the REAL captain of Oceanic 815?
- Who was that rotting dude in the driver's seat of Oceanic 815?
-Where was Desmond during the second hour?
- Didn't Locke have the kidney on the OTHER side removed? (Just wondering...)
- Why was there a polar bear in Tunisia?
- Why is there a polar bear on the ISLAND?
- If Oceanic 815 went down near Sumatra, does that mean the island is somewhere nearby?
- There are over 150 million people in Indonesia - what are the chances none of them would know about an island this strange?
- Hey! I thought 815 was heading from Sydney to LA, so what was it doing in the Indian Ocean?
- Or was that REALLY O 815 down there on the ocean bottom? (Answer: Of COURSE NOT!)
- Are all the tailies dead? (I guess so...)
- Does the Island polar bear wear a collar too?
- About the other Others - why do they need a social anthropologist to find Ben?
- Why do they need to find Ben?
- Who's Ben's plant on the boat?
- Is there a boat?
- Why is Miles such a jerk?
- (But Ken Leung was great - crazy great in "The Sopranos" - wasn't he?)
- What happened to Walt?
- Is Locke gonna introduce everyone to Jacob?
- What does Jacob think about that?
- Does Charlotte - Rebecca Mader - seem kinda strange to you too?
- When does Michael show up?
- How did the helicopter make it to the Island without crashing?
- Why didn't Bearded Guy pilot 815?
- What was he doing in the Bahamas?
- How did Miles know there were O 815 survivors but Charlotte did not?
- Why does Flashforward Charlie want Flashforward Hurls to go back to the Island?
- What's Flashforward Jack so afraid of?
- Who - or what - remained behind?
- Will there be flashback sequences during the flashforward ones?
- Will there be flashforward sequences during the flashforward ones?
- Is there such thing as "real time" in "Lost" anymore?
- Does anyone know what I'm talking about?