Oceania
by Pares


"I knew it. Listen to this: 'Statistically 99% of all men will cheat on their spouse during their marriage.' That's shocking, that is. I'm shocked!'

"Lucky for you we're not married," Stuart muttered, gritting his teeth and trying for the seventy-sixth time to set his watch to Central Mountain Time.

"We may as well be. And you'll be thinking, oh, he's getting podgy, I'll have to cop off with some other fellow, and I'll have to accept it as a statistical fact," Vince said with an air of gloom.

"Don't be stupid," replied Stuart, never lifting his head. "I've already had every other bloke on five continents and I don't fancy taking an Arctic expedition and I hate Australians, so Oceania's right out--"

"Oceania? What's that? Like, Atlantis or something?"

"Continent. One of seven. Asia, Africa, Europe, North America-- bugger!" He threw the watch across the room and sank lower into the handsome leather recliner.

"Still. You'll cheat," Vince sighed.

"Could be you," Stuart said easily. "Last I checked, you were a man. Dunno, though. You seem a right woman just now."

"You know, you may be on to something. I do feel a bit restless. After all, 'it's built into our make up to hunt and conquer.'" he said.

Stuart pressed himself out of the chair and scowled over Vince's shoulder to read the laptop's screen.

"You're taking advice from some knob called Fred Cuellar, 'The Diamond Guy'? Are you pissed?"

"Stone sober. But again, as I said, restless. Perhaps I should give up on you and roam about, taking men at my leisure--"

"I'd pay money to see that," Stuart grinned and lifted his chin appraisingly. "Think you're quite the Dapper Dan, do you?"

"If you're just going to stand there, I'm off then. Unlike some people, I still have seven continents to--"

"Oh, shut it. If we hurry, we can have another go before the concierge knocks us up."

END


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