who ate all the pies

Premiership's Top 10 Foreign Flops

Balaban_g_280x210_1There's a lot of talk online and in newspapers about how Andriy Shevchenko is set to be the biggest foreign flop in Premiership history, which is frankly nonsense cause he's scored several goals already. He's taking time to adjust to the pace of English football, but there's nothing surprising in that. Here are ten genuine Prem disasters who came to England and sunk without trace…

Winstonb10 Winston Bogarde
Chelsea's Dutch defender insisted that the club honour his contract, reportedly worth £40,000 a week, even though manager Claudio Ranieri didn't want to keep him. Bogarde made 11 appearances in four years at Stamford Bridge. No club would touch him after he left the club in 2004. Hmm, wonder why?

Balaban_g_280x2109 Bosko Balaban
Aston Villa signed the Croatian striker for almost £6m in 2001. A more realistic price would have been 60p. Balaban scored precisely no league goals for Villa and made less than ten appearances in two years. He now plays for Club Brugge in Belgium.

Lorient_marlet_0209068 Steve Marlet
Fulham paid £11.5m for Marlet in 2002, one of the worst deals in Premiership history. Marlet wasn't an awful player – although he wasn't worth £11.5m either – but his attitude stunk. Fulham loaned him to Olympique Marseille in 2003 but were forced to pay his wages until 2005, when his contract was finally cancelled.

Prunier373_17 William Prunier
Prunier, a French centre-back who looked a bit like Jaap Stam (but played nothing like him), was one of Alex Ferguson's worst ever signings. He looked pretty good on his Man U debut, against QPR, but had an absolute shocker in his next game in a red shirt, a 4-1 defeat to Spurs. That was the last time he pulled on a red shirt for United.

6 Ali Dia
Ali Dia (or Ali Dire) arrived at Southampton in 1996, with an endorsement from George Weah (well, Dia's agent posing as Weah), who claimed he was Dia's cousin. Dia somehow convinced manager Graeme Souness that he was a Senegalese international striker. He wasn't - but Dia was signed and brought on as a substitute against Leeds. After a gloriously inept 53 minutes he was brought off again, and 14 days later his contract was cancelled. He's such a spectacular flop that I couldn't even find a photo of him in action.

Silenzi5 Andrea Silenzi
Signed for £1.8m by Nottm Forest in 1995, Silenzi, aka the 'Big Brush' (he's a lanky Italian with bad hair), earned a then-whopping £30,000 a month. He was so bad that half way through his first season, he lost his first-team place to Jason Lee, was loaned to Venezia, and when told to return by Dave Bassett, refused. Forest tore up his contract. Silenzi scored just two goals for Forest. He wasn't helped by a first touch that made Carlton Palmer look like Zinedine Zidane.

324298_mediumsquare4 Sergei Rebrov
Rebrov looked like a world beater for Dynamo Kiev, but a panel beater for Spurs. Go figure. Maybe it had something to do with the fact he'd been separated from Kiev strike partner Andriy Shevchenko. Rebrov was clearly a talented player but not half as talented as Shevchenko. Tottenham fans had glimpses of Rebrov's talent, but they were as rare as a Gary Neville goal.

Player_dundee3 Sean Dundee
Sean 'Crocodile' Dundee is regularly cited by Liverppol fans as the worst player in the club's history. You can't really argue with that opinion. He arrived at Anfield with a reputation as a fast, powerful goalscorer. When he was overhauled during a game against Leicester by the less-than-speedy Frank Sinclair, the writing was on the wall. Dundee, who had a reputation as a bit of a party animal, made just three substitute appearances for Liverpool before he was sold on.

0102782803764002 Jean-Alain Boumsong
A radio commentator said recently that Boumsong 'looked more like a Newcastle fan whom had won a competition to play for the club he supports rather than a professional football player'. Whilst at St James Park, Boumsong made even Titus Bramble look half-decent by comparison. The hapless Frenchman is now playing in Serie B for Juventus, where he's mysteriously doing quite well.

Brolin_lead_203x1521 Tomas Brolin
Leeds United manager George Graham paid Parma £4.5m for Brolin in 1995. The baby-faced Swede turned up at Elland Road looking just a wee bit out of shape. Brolin made just 19 appearances in two years for Leeds before Graham got rid of him. He then returned to England for a final Premiership fling at Crystal Palace in 1998, but, after 13 appearances, was deemed too fat to play, and made assistant manager to slaphead Attilio Lombardo. Palace were instantly relegated. Cheers Tomas.

Posted by on November 14, 2006 1:17 PM in Top 10s & Lists
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Comments


Wasn't Ali Dia just a student from Southampton Uni? Tomas at number 1? Yeah, he was pretty shit but he did score some goals; I remember his double against the Hammers, partnering an on-loan Lee Chapman. I think the likes of Taibi, Boumsong, and Marlet were just as bad.

:)

Posted by: Mat T | November 14, 2006 11:46 PM

For shame... surely the worst foreign flop was Bolton's very own Mario Jardel. Certified insane by a Bolton doctor, suffered from a nervous OCD during matches which saw him tucking his shirt in, then pulling it out, in, out, in, out, until the linesman flagged him offside.

Also, the previously featured Massimo Taibi...

Posted by: mof gimmers | November 15, 2006 12:22 PM

Are you forgeting Sean Wright Phillips

Posted by: HFV | January 17, 2007 10:07 AM

sheva is the biggest flop in premiership history wheres veron hes not on the list

Posted by: nufc 2007 | May 4, 2007 1:06 AM

the biggest ever i think has to be dat ucas peesh of crap drogba wutz up wit hym man>HEZ A DIVERR*A CHeet a no guod playa. chelsea wud b bettr off wit out a slo footballer like hym. ya kno hez got lucke dis seesson.lol

Posted by: barcachamp | May 4, 2007 1:16 AM

What about Acimovic in Tottenham?

Posted by: | July 7, 2007 5:14 PM

Let see now, where's Albert Ferrer? Where is Massimo Taibi? Where's Titus Bramble? and most of all, where is Francis Jeffers?

If these players still play in Premiership and I bet that all the rivals will eat them alive like creamy lasagna.

Posted by: Mike Powell | July 19, 2007 6:20 AM

you've named a fair few players that should be on the list that aren't even Foreigners.....

Posted by: idiots the lot of you | August 1, 2007 2:30 PM

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