Jedi Council Forums - "Tactless" -- {L/M-ish Humor + Silliness}

Jedi Council Forums » Fan Fiction » Beyond the Saga »

Locked Topic | Read Only Topic | Previous Active Topic | Next Active Topic

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 - ~~Previous~~ | Next | Reload

Author	Topic: "Tactless" -- {L/M-ish Humor + Silliness}
oba_incarnate Registered: Jul '04	Date Posted: 9/8/04 5:15pm Subject: "Tactless" -- {L/M-ish Humor + Silliness} - Date Edited: 9/8/04 10:19pm (3 edits total) Edited By: oba_incarnate
	Title: "Tactless" Author: Um ... guess who? Content: Humor. Luke/Mara interaction, Luke/Other implied, a bit of a spoof on the hurt/comfort genre in general. (Choose your favorite Lukie love; I don't do EU goodly.) Summary: After Luke gets his heart broken again, Mara tries her hand at the whole hurt-comfort thing. Except, as it turns out, she's not very good at it. At all. Author's Note(s): What can I say? The bunny bit me. I'm not even entirely sure what it came from -- some thought / comment about Mara not being emotionally accessible or forward, I believe. Anyway. Characterization is off. Or, at least, for the way I perceive Mara. But can't I shout "spoof!" and hope no one notices? sighs And I've gotta admit that this is one of the first times I've felt constrained by the limits of PG language / SW cursing ("You unsanitary evildoer!"). makes cute puppy dog eyes at template / inspiration / best friend in the world who-hopefully-won't-be-uber-upset "At least there's no gravesite." "Uh-huh," he grunted somewhat peevishly. He'd become so used to just nodding his head in response to the platitudes that he answered, really, without really hearing what she said. It was always the same sort of thing anyway -- regrets, condolences, pity -- I'm so sorry, Luke from those who knew him well enough, or from the pompous Coruscrats, I'm sorry for your loss or -- And right about then his brain caught up to his mouth. "What?" he demanded, head snapping up from his contemplation of the table. The word came out before he could check it. Because he'd heard what she'd said -- he just couldn't believe she'd said it. "I said, 'At least there's no gravesite,'" she responded easily enough, though she didn't look up from her cup of hot chocolate. She was studying it rather intently -- had, in fact, been studying it intently for the past ten minutes or so. Now she held it up to eye-level, carefully squinting at the pattern on its edge. "Is this a Nubian design?" He blinked. "No gravesite?" he repeated, more curious than upset at this point. She looked at him, green eyes flashing with a bit of irritation. "You know," she snapped, "no gravesite. They're depressing things, gravesites. You have to go and visit them, take care of them, leave flowers and the like. Cemeteries can have their own sort of beauty, but only when no one you know is buried there, don't you think?" He didn't respond. Mara wasn't ... Mara wasn't talking about that, was she? Because Mara just didn't talk about that, not since her ship had landed on Yavin for stars only knew what. Everyone else might, but Mara just didn't talk about that, not with sympathy, not with hate, not at all. "So you don't need a grave to feel close to her." He stood up so quickly that he knocked his chair over, nearly making her spill her cup of hot chocolate as well. She glared. "Watch it, Skywalker!" "Excuse me," he muttered, bending down as much to straighten the chair as to hide his own sudden flush of anger. She might not possess a single redeeming social grace, but Luke's manners were ingrained, even when the recipient didn't deserve them. He dashed out of the room. = = = = = "No body, either." "What?" This time he meant it. What had she said? They were in the kitchen again. All had been quiet for the past few minutes, despite his worries. He had just about decided that the last outburst was some strange fluke -- the galaxy screwing with his mind just a bit more for the kick of it -- when she'd spoken up. "Well, you know." She hesitated. Not looking at him, he noted -- her gaze was fixed on the cup, again. "Most people who grieve say that it's worse when there's no body. But think about it -- you don't have to worry about what you're going to do with it. Burial or cremation ... no question about whether or not you need an autopsy to be done ..." He fled. No "excuse me" this time, Aunt Beru's ingrained teachings about politeness notwithstanding. "And you won't have to think about the rotting," she called after him. = = = = = He didn't go into the kitchen anymore -- too risky, with Mara seemingly just about everywhere. But he couldn't leave the Temple altogether, and though the Temple was big, it wasn't that big. Which was how she managed to catch him in the hallway, three nights later. "You'll never have to worry about her leaving you for someone else." No what this time. He just stared. "It's the usual end to relationships. They don't last -- this way, you'll never have to see her on the street with someone else, laughing and in love with a person who isn't you, while you seethe and wither." Afterwards, he was always quite proud of the control he exhibited -- he didn't bite his own tongue off. "Get. Out. Of. My. Way." She blinked, stepping aside. As he pushed past, he thought that she looked almost surprised. = = = = = "Have you thought about what this will mean for your next relationship?" It was a close call, but he managed to avoid either banging his head on the cabinet or choking on his own toothpaste. Because she had pushed open the 'fresher door. While he was in it. He was wearing a towel. "Nrrth!" was all he could manage with a mouth full of toothpaste. "While someone new might worry that she'd never measure up to your lost love," she continued, oblivious to his trauma, "she'll never have to worry that you'll go back to the last lover. That's reassuring, for a new romantic episode." "OUT!" he roared, not bothering to spit first. = = = = He'd called Leia as soon as he'd finished in the 'fresher, hoping she had something for him to do -- anything, so long as it was far from Mara Jade. New Imperial super-weapon, hostile alien species attacking the Republic, long-dead Sith Lord that needed re-slaying ... at this point, he was quite willing to settle for a Ewok stuck in a tree. The one time he was hoping for a crisis was the one time that the galaxy didn't deliver. Nevertheless, he was working on his X-Wing the next morning, with a vague sort of hope that something would happen and he'd be off flying into the starry sky, away from green-eyed redheads with less than no tact at all. There was a certain pleasure in working on his X-Wing -- getting his hands dirty, fixing this, tweaking that. It almost made him remember, again, why he liked this sort of thing so much -- dashing across the galaxy chasing after one thing or another. Strange that he couldn't find solace in his own home if nowhere else, though. Of course, there was a certain person to blame for that -- He heard someone behind him and turned around. Mara was watching him, leaning nonchalantly against a wall just a few feet away. "You'll never have to watch her grow old or infirm." He felt everything recede. Everything but Mara, who wouldn't recede, wouldn't go away, who sat in the center of his field of vision like a target that needed to be dismembered in the messiest way possible. Shaking with the effort of keeping his hand away from his lightsaber, he turned, dropped the hydrospanner, and walked away. = = = = = = He was proud, later, that he retained enough presence of mind to ask the children to leave in a somewhat reasonable tone of voice. The Jedi Master portion of his brain won that victory, at least, over the not-so-reasonable farmboy. Tionne blinked but wisely said nothing as she herded the students away, leaving Master Skywalker to handle his own personal crises. Mara and Luke stared at one another in mutual silence. Yavin's jungle was relatively quiet -- as quiet as a jungle could be, any way -- as if in anticipation of their confrontation. He had thought he'd managed to escape the redhead for at least a few hours before her unanticipated arrival during the student training session. As far as he was concerned, she was just lucky they hadn't progressed to lightsabers yet. Mara spoke first. "I was --" He didn't give her a chance to get further than that. Since it wasn't his lightsaber he wanted to use anyway, he shoved the Jedi Master aside for the moment and let the human being to the forefront -- he seized her by the forearms, feeling the muscles in her arm tense but keeping his grip nonetheless. And maybe he was being his father's son, but at that point he didn't really care. "You spiteful little witch," he hissed, emphasizing his words with a little shake. Alarm bells were going off in his head -- what would Aunt Beru say? some distant corner of his mind was wondering -- but he ignored them for the moment. "She's gone, do you understand that? I don't give a damn how much you approved or disapproved, how you didn't think she was right for me, how the hell you told me so, I don't give a damn!" He had her up against a tree trunk before he realized that she wasn't fighting back. He blinked a few times, bewildered through the anger -- Mara didn't take anything without fighting back. An emerald glower, a disdainful toss of red hair, and a few quick jabs of a graceful hand. All of a sudden, he wasn't grabbing anything anymore but gingerly rubbing at his wrist. They kept glaring. But, to his surprise, Mara was the one who deflated first, eyes dropping to the ground and shoulders slumping as much as they ever did -- which is to say not very much at all. "I -- I was trying to make you feel better, Skywalker," she snarled at her feet. He stopped, open-mouthed and wide-eyed. After mentally reviewing this statement several times, he closed his mouth with an audible click. "Better," he repeated slowly. "Better." "Better," she affirmed. You know, I thought --" she stopped, scowling, and tossed her hair back in embarrassed irritation. "Well, I thought," she snapped. It was his turn to be left blinking. "Mara," he said slowly, wonderingly. "You're the most tactless person in the galaxy, did you know that?" She shrugged, looking rather uncomfortable. "I was trying to comfort you," she grumbled, uncharacteristically not meeting his eyes. "You thought that was comfort?" She scowled. "I haven't had much practice." "I noticed," he snapped. "The last thing I want to hear is how I'm better off without her." Green eyes flickered in what might have been either amusement or embarrassment. "Yeah, I guess that was my general theme." "Listening would have been fine. Companionable distraction would have been good. Comfort sex would have been great." He sat down wearily, burying his face in his hands. "Stars," he muttered. She sat down next to him, hesitating a bit before gingerly draping an arm over his shoulder. "So," she began, studying the position of her arms with the same intensity she usually reserved for studying datapads. "I don't think I'm supposed to pat you on the back or anything, am I? Is this okay, Skywalker?" "Yeah, I guess," he grumbled, voice a bit muffled from behind his fingers. "Though I think I'm all comforted-out at the moment." "Well, think of it as credit for next time." He glanced up from his fingers. "Next time?" he groaned. "You're looking forward to a next time?" "There's always a next time," she shrugged, waving her other hand vaguely. "I'll be here to comfort you through all of them, promise, just in case you need me to beat someone up for you, farmboy." He blinked. "You know," he said, slowly shaking his head and with the beginnings of a smile growing on his lips, "I'm not really sure if that thought is comforting or just scary." "I'll remember that," she assured him, smirking. They sat in silence for a while, thinking their own thoughts. The forest was peaceful and quiet, the Temple far enough away that the sounds of the Jedi Academy were scarcely more than whispers upon the wind -- all in all, he felt at peace, for the first time in a long time. Probably because he didn't have to worry about dodging Mara Jade anymore, but maybe something else as well. It came as no surprise to either of them when Mara broke the silence once more. "You weren't serious about the comfort sex were you, Skywalker? Because I think this whole comforting-thing might have to stop if you expect to get there." Finis runs away giggling -----signature----- Handmaiden of the Crest is teh eloquent
	~~Locked Topic~~ \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Gabri_Jade Title: Fan Fiction Archive Editor Emeritus Registered: Nov '02	Date Posted: 9/8/04 5:25pm Subject: RE: "Tactless" -- {L/M-ish Humor + Silliness} - Date Edited: 9/8/04 5:40pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Gabri_Jade
	snags first post Be back in a minute with real feedback. EDIT: "I said, 'At least there's no gravesite,'" she responded easily enough, though she didn't look up from her cup of hot chocolate. She was studying it rather intently -- had, in fact, been studying it intently for the past ten minutes or so. Now she held it up to eye-level, carefully squinting at the pattern on its edge. "Is this a Nubian design?" LOL!!!! Sweetie, I don't know how you can say this is bad Mara characterization, because I can totally see her saying this. She looked at him, green eyes flashing with a bit of irritation. "You know," she snapped, "no gravesite. They're depressing things, gravesites. You have to go and visit them, take care of them, leave flowers and the like. Cemeteries can have their own sort of beauty, but only when no one you know is buried there, don't you think?" giggles I rather think so myself, but for her to say it . . . "Well, you know." She hesitated. Not looking at him, he noted -- her gaze was fixed on the cup, again. "Most people who grieve say that it's worse when there's no body. But think about it -- you don't have to worry about what you're going to do with it. Burial or cremation ... no question about whether or not you need an autopsy to be done ..." He fled. No "excuse me" this time, Aunt Beru's ingrained teachings about politeness notwithstanding. "And you won't have to think about the rotting," she called after him. wipes away tears of laughter 'Won't have to think about the rotting' . . . Oh, I just about choked on that one. "It's the usual end to relationships. They don't last -- this way, you'll never have to see her on the street with someone else, laughing and in love with a person who isn't you, while you seethe and wither." Pretty impressive emotional insight for Mara there, despite the tactless delivery. "Have you thought about what this will mean for your next relationship?" It was a close call, but he managed to avoid either banging his head on the cabinet or choking on his own toothpaste. Because she had pushed open the 'fresher door. While he was in it. He was wearing a towel. "Nrrth!" was all he could manage with a mouth full of toothpaste. "While someone new might worry that she'd never measure up to your lost love," she continued, oblivious to his trauma, "she'll never have to worry that you'll go back to the last lover. That's reassuring, for a new romantic episode." "OUT!" he roared, not bothering to spit first. ROTFLMAO!!! Oh, I can't even think what to say any more, I'm laughing too hard. "You spiteful little witch," he hissed, emphasizing his words with a little shake. Alarm bells were going off in his head -- what would Aunt Beru say? some distant corner of his mind was wondering -- but he ignored them for the moment. "She's gone, do you understand that? I don't give a damn how much you approved or disapproved, how you didn't think she was right for me, how the hell you told me so, I don't give a damn!" He had her up against a tree trunk before he realized that she wasn't fighting back. He blinked a few times, bewildered through the anger -- Mara didn't take anything without fighting back. An emerald glower, a disdainful toss of red hair, and a few quick jabs of a graceful hand. All of a sudden, he wasn't grabbing anything anymore but gingerly rubbing at his wrist. Hey, excellent confrontation between the two of them! Very in character. It was his turn to be left blinking. "Mara," he said slowly, wonderingly. "You're the most tactless person in the galaxy, did you know that?" She shrugged, looking rather uncomfortable. "I was trying to comfort you," she grumbled, uncharacteristically not meeting his eyes. "You thought that was comfort?" She scowled. "I haven't had much practice." giggles more Well, she hasn't. "Listening would have been fine. Companionable distraction would have been good. Comfort sex would have been great." chokes again Oh. My. Stars. Is that Luke Skywalker saying that comfort sex would have been great??? I'm going to have an asthma attack with all this laughing. "There's always a next time," she shrugged, waving her other hand vaguely. "I'll be here to comfort you through all of them, promise, just in case you need me to beat someone up for you, farmboy." He blinked. "You know," he said, slowly shaking his head and with the beginnings of a smile growing on his lips, "I'm not really sure if that thought is comforting or just scary." Both, Luke, it's both. Brilliant, not-so-mysterious Sock Person. -----signature----- Evil Twin of LadyPadme This concept of "wuv" confuses and infuriates us! - Futurama All I can do is be me. Whoever that is. -Bob Dylan A Simple Twist of Fate - L/M AU vig http://boards.theforce.net/b/b1/28481173 !!11!1eleventy
	~~Locked Topic~~ \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Mirax-Jade Registered: Mar '03	Date Posted: 9/8/04 5:28pm Subject: RE: "Tactless" -- {L/M-ish Humor + Silliness} - Date Edited: 9/8/04 5:49pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Mirax-Jade
	hahahahahah Mara Mara Mara. That was great. ::still giggling:: Great characterization. I loved (LOVED) all the comments Mara made. Hilarious. And the comfort sex thing...LOL. -----signature----- www.livejournal.com/users/wild_n_kayzie be still my heart, this could be a brand new start, with you www.milliways-bar.livejournal.com
	~~Locked Topic~~ \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
kayladie97 Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 9/8/04 5:43pm Subject: RE: "Tactless" -- {L/M-ish Humor + Silliness}
	OMG, that was hilarious!! I was laughing out loud the whole time, especially reading Luke's reactions to her words of 'comfort'. Although, being Luke, he probably put up with it a lot longer than anyone else would have. Still, I love to see those moments where the Jedi Master mask slips and Luke remembers that he is a real human being. And Luke's comment about comfort sex...if that's not a guy statement, I don't know what is! But I like the way Mara shoots that dream down so quickly...for the moment anyway! -----signature----- My new philosophy of life (borrowed from Elvis Presley) "The sun's down and the moon is pretty. It's time to ramble."
	~~Locked Topic~~ \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
DarthIshtar Title: Former CR Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 9/8/04 5:52pm Subject: RE: "Tactless" -- {L/M-ish Humor + Silliness}
	Borrows the holy Snrk for this. Very amusing. -----signature----- "I'd hate to be misunderstood." "Does that happen often?" "Once in a blue lagoon." ~Ziva and Fornell, NCIS Tchaikovsky is my emo band.
	~~Locked Topic~~ \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
ManofConstantSorrow Registered: Jun '04	Date Posted: 9/8/04 6:01pm Subject: RE: "Tactless" -- {L/M-ish Humor + Silliness}
	Very funny! I enjoyed that! -----signature----- I am a man of constant sorrow. I've seen troubles all my days.
	~~Locked Topic~~ \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
MaraJade1225 Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 9/8/04 8:10pm Subject: RE: "Tactless" -- {L/M-ish Humor + Silliness}
	Hahahaha... very funny.. well you know what they say "Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic!" lol awesome story -----signature----- "Some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it. Delicious ambiguity...." - Gilda Radner "WOAH DREAM BIG!" - Juno links to fics in bio
	~~Locked Topic~~ \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
LadyPadme Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Sep '02	Date Posted: 9/8/04 8:17pm Subject: RE: "Tactless" -- {L/M-ish Humor + Silliness}
	Thank you to Gabri_Jade who gave me the heads-up to read this delightful vignette. Miss Sock, you've written an adorable story. It's just so quirky and silly that it made an excellent escape from an otherwise very rough day for me today, so I thank you My favorite scene had to be the one where Luke got attacked in the refresher, although him mentioning 'comfort sex' had to come as a close second. Wonderful job! -----signature----- Crest MD Naimé Evil Twin of Gabri_Jade When a baby smiles the world is happy In Name Only http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/18395678 Battlestar Galactica rocks! http://boomergirl.proboards102.com/index.cgi - For Sharon/Helo lovers
	~~Locked Topic~~ \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
obaona Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 9/8/04 11:14pm Subject: RE: "Tactless" -- {L/M-ish Humor + Silliness}
	LMAO! I love it! You might think Mara out of character, but I actually, I can see her saying all those things, though in that combination . . . and in that amount of time . . . I don't blame Luke. And I love how it kind of hints at jealousy. I just love it all. What a great spoof of hurt/comfort! LMAO! I have no words! I love you, dearest clone. I'm honored you semi-graced my name with a story by you. -----signature----- atty is the bestest! MS Word is designed by sadists with masochists in mind. - teh atty
	~~Locked Topic~~ \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
dreamspirals Registered: Mar '03	Date Posted: 9/8/04 11:50pm Subject: RE: "Tactless" -- {L/M-ish Humor + Silliness}
	OMG I have to fix my make up, I have mascara running down my face. That's a work of art! -----signature----- Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy. None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsy believe they are free.
	~~Locked Topic~~ \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Hananiah Registered: Jan '03	Date Posted: 9/9/04 4:46am Subject: RE: "Tactless" -- {L/M-ish Humor + Silliness}
	hilariously funny and sweet, Mara is so well done in this fic, I choked on the comfort sex that was really funny. -----signature----- Buffy:"Laura Ashley is definitely back" Willow: "You think?" Buffy:"She's back and this time it's personal.You see they mated her with the home depo guy and that's how we got Martha Stewart" BTVS unaired pilot
	~~Locked Topic~~ \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Jedi Trace Title: • SouthEast RSA • Fan Fiction Manager Registered: Dec '99	Date Posted: 9/9/04 6:35am Subject: RE: "Tactless" -- {L/M-ish Humor + Silliness} - Date Edited: 9/9/04 6:43am (1 edits total) Edited By: Jedi Trace
	OMG - I should not have tried to read this at work. (My co-workers probably think I'm a bit touched for smiling at what is supposed to be lab values on the screen.........) FUNNY!!!! He'd called Leia as soon as he'd finished in the 'fresher, hoping she had something for him to do -- anything, so long as it was far from Mara Jade. New Imperial super-weapon, hostile alien species attacking the Republic, long-dead Sith Lord that needed re-slaying ... at this point, he was quite willing to settle for a Ewok stuck in a tree. ROTFLMAO!!! Irreverent and refreshing - I loved it! -----signature----- Captain of the Cade Brigade My daughters on shopping: The Princess - "I hate that store." The Tomboy - "They sell shoes." rolls eyes The Princess - "Oh...I LOVE that store!"
	~~Locked Topic~~ \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
LumiKuningatar Registered: Nov '03	Date Posted: 9/9/04 9:27am Subject: RE: "Tactless" -- {L/M-ish Humor + Silliness}
	falls off chair from too much laughing Oh, dear me, this is priceless.. Mara Jade was truly very tactless.. oh dear oh dear.. snickering that turns quickly into outright laughter -----signature----- Tell a man there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you, tell a man that a bench is wet and he'll have to touch it... Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam. It's a bird, no wait a plane.. damn.. it IS a b
	~~Locked Topic~~ \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Bri_Windstar Registered: May '02	Date Posted: 9/9/04 1:21pm Subject: RE: "Tactless" -- {L/M-ish Humor + Silliness}
	LMAO!! Omg... has no words Only you, oba_incarnate, only you -----signature----- Mediocrity- it takes a lot less time and most people won't notice the difference before it's too late. * OMG! SO RIDICULOUSLY AND AGGRAVATINGLY PERFECT!- Gabri * 11010110101000101011
	~~Locked Topic~~ \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Jedi-2B Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 9/9/04 1:41pm Subject: RE: "Tactless" -- {L/M-ish Humor + Silliness}
	That was hilarious! And not so out-of-character, except maybe for Luke entertaining the notion of 'comfort sex.' -----signature----- It was on her fifteenth day in the darkness of the Nirauan cave when Mara Jade awoke to discover a rescuer had finally arrived. It was not, however, any of the potential rescuers she would have expected. It was Luke. ~~And the rest is history~~
	~~Locked Topic~~ \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Smuggler_Shidakis Registered: Jul '04	Date Posted: 9/9/04 1:42pm Subject: RE: "Tactless" -- {L/M-ish Humor + Silliness}
	hee hee hee hee heee heee!!!! I almost fell out of my chair. Mara is just not good at being comforting. continues laughing -----signature----- K/J = Dark Lady of the JCC \| Master to Darth-Wanderguard Adopter of Rosh_Penin Désolée, mon président est un idiot. Je n'ai pas voté pour lui.
	~~Locked Topic~~ \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 - ~~Previous~~ | Next | Reload

Jedi Council Forums » Fan Fiction » Beyond the Saga »