Wed May 23

[Fox8/8:3pm] On the Lot. Premiere. Audition Show 1.
[Movie Extra/9:30pm] Movie: Transmerica (US 2005)
[CI/9:30pm] I Can’t Stop Masturbating. 95% of men admit to masturbating. But some men masturbate more than others. Much more... 'I Can't Stop Masturbating' will follow two men as they try to break an addiction that is destroying their lives. Russell masturbates up to 15 times a day, a habit that is destroying his relationships with the opposite sex. We'll follow Russell as he embarks on a road trip across America, sampling weird and wonderful treatments to see if he can finally kick his addiction. Paul's habit means he cannot hold down a job or a relationship. The programme will follow Paul as he undergoes therapy in the UK, in a desperate attempt to get his life back on track. Will Russell and Paul be able to pull it off?

[Nine/7:30pm] State of Origin. Wide World Of Sports presents Rugby League's State of Origin. Join your expert commentators for all the action as New South Wales takes on Queensland in Game 1 of the 2007 series from Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane.

[Ten/7:30pm] The Biggest Loser- Engaged Couples.
[Ten/8:30pm] House. "Role Model" Rpt.
[Ten/9:30pm] Medium. 'We Had A Dream' Guest: Eric Stoltz

[ABC/8:30pm] Spicks And Specks. Joining Adam Hills this week are Brian Mannix, Niki Vasilakis, Denise Scott, Dave O'Neill.
[ABC/9:00pm] The Chaser's War On Everything
[ABC/9:35pm] The Robinsons. Ed and George's favourite Robinson, Great Uncle Edmund - explorer, adventurer, philanthropist and a really nice bloke- dies unexpectedly. George struggles to come to terms with the death, his own mortality and how to best explain existentialism to Albert, his six-year-old son. Vicky is getting more and more irritated with her boyfriend Peter, who won't stop crying, only to find later that it is his very sensitivity she finds attractive. Ed undergoes a personality crisis when he can't remember the answers to simple questions about himself at a job interview. If only he can just work out exactly who the real Ed Robinson is. His parents, who never agree on anything, aren't much help; his sister-in-law Maggie finds herself suddenly busy when asked; and George doesn't understand why he's wasting his time with such clap-trap. The Robinsons aren't related to any of the famous Robinsons. Sugar Ray, Edward G, or even Smokey. No, they're a bog standard, run-of-the-mill family from Wimbledon, South London who have done 'quite well'. All of them, that is, except the youngest Ed, the black sheep of the family who's 32, recently divorced after a disastrous marriage that lasted five and a half months, doing a job that he hates and living in his aunt's dilapidated council flat. What's gone wrong in his life? How difficult is it to find a girlfriend, a decent job, a good dry cleaners and the meaning of life? When Ed is told by his wife, 'you're not the man I married,' he is forced to ask himself 'who am I?' The answer he gets back - 'Ed Robinson' - doesn't satisfy him. Ed's search for himself takes him to many places… but nowhere more intriguing than his own family, or indeed, family history. Starring Martin Freeman (The Office, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy), Hugh Bonneville (Tipping the Velvet), Anna Massey (He knew He Was Right) Amanda Root (Enduring Love, The Forsyte Saga), Abigail Cruttenden (Hideous Kinky) and Richard Johnson (Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, The Whistle Blower).
[ABC/10:05pm] At The MoviesTHE US VS JOHN LENNON + INTERVIEW WITH DIRECTOR DAVID LEAF -Before Iraq, before the Bush Administration, before the Dixie Chicks, Bruce Springsteen, and Pearl Jam... there was John Lennon, the celebrated musical artist who used his fame and his fortune to protest the Vietnam War and advocate for world peace. In this exposing new doco, The U.S vs John Lennon, filmmakers David Leaf and John Scheinfeld trace Lennon's metamorphosis from lovable "Moptop" to anti-war activist to inspirational icon, as they reveal the true story of how and why the U.S government tried to silence him. ROMULUS, MY FATHER + INTERVIEW WITH DIRECTOR RICHARD ROXBURGH - Based on Raimond Gaita's critically acclaimed memoir, the film tells the story of Romulus, his beautiful wife, Christina, and their struggle in the face of great adversity to bring up their son, Raimond. It is a story of impossible love that ultimately celebrates the unbreakable bond between father and son. MY BEST FRIEND - Francois (played by French actor Daniel Auteuil) is a middle-aged Parisian with everything you could ever want - a rewarding job as an antique dealer, a stylish flat, a loving girlfriend and a teenage daughter. On the occasion of his birthday however, his associate Catherine candidly informs him that he has no friends. The other guests agree: Francois' passion is confined to the objects he buys and sells; he cannot connect emotionally. Stunned by this revelation Francois proposes a wager with Catherine - he will produce his best friend by the end of the week or give up his prized antique vase. And so, the search begins as Francois embarks on a hilarious quest to find someone willing to pose as his best pal. When all seems lost, Francois finds an unlikely candidate in a charming, trivia-spouting taxi driver, Bruno (the adorable Dany Boon). Bruno's chatty, lowbrow ways grate against François's designer temperament, but he covets the other man's finesse with people and so convinces Bruno to teach him how to make friends. This involves learning the "three S- being sociable, smiling and sincere - though they don't come easy. ORCHESTRA SEATS - Jessica, a beautiful young woman from the country, moves to Paris and lands a job waiting tables at a chic bistro on fabled Avenue Montaigne, the city's nexus for art, music, theatre and fashion. Jessica's customers include a popular TV actress who is courting a major Hollywood director for her first serious film role; a wealthy art collector who is about to liquidate a lifetime's worth of treasures at auction; and an illustrious classical pianist who is at odds with his manager/wife as to where his career is headed. Precisely because Jessica doesn't know how celebrated these people are, her guileless and completely unintimidated engagement in their lives has a transforming effect on them - and ultimately her.

[SBS/7:30pm] Vasili’s Garden. Premiere. A fresh and thoroughly entertaining gardening program with a little bit of piano accordion and a lot of information. Each week, real-life gardening guru Vasili Kanidiadis starts off pruning, trimming and spraying in his own garden, before visiting a special garden or two. He’s there to solve problems - providing seasonal tips and advice - as well as to explore the obsessions of each garden’s creator.
He will fire viewers’ culinary senses as he regularly introduces viewers to his mum, Eleni Kaniadis, who will share traditional Greek recipes using home grown ingredients. Vasili is a big fan of traditional methods, so he extols the virtues of compost and natural, home-made pesticides. This is not a man with a shed full of chemicals. His particular approach to gardening is based on common sense, water conservation and environmental and ecological sustainability. A gardening legend in Melbourne with his own nursery, Vasili will give up to the minute advice on having the most bountiful – as well as ecologically and environmentally friendly – gardens in Australia. As Vasili delves into private worlds on the other side of backyard fences, he discovers a world of characters who are passionate about their plants and produce. Meet John - an Italian migrant who uses every centimetre of his roof to collect water in a vast range of containers; and Ik, whose topiary garden resembles Jurassic Park in a leafy kind of way. Franco shares his fruit tree grafting secrets, honed at his suburban hobby farm, while Val the 82-year-old singing ukulele player has more than a passing knowledge of irises, with 400 varieties in his garden. Vasili’s Garden will also discover Maureen and her hibiscus hobby, a speech therapist with a Japanese garden built for Australian conditions and some enthusiastic backyard beekeepers.As Vasili frequently says: “Maresi!” (Greek for “I like it”)
[SBS/10:00pm] Movie: I'm Not Scared (Italy 2003) The film is set in a small hamlet in southern Italy during a very hot summer in 1978. Michele, a young boy, with his sister and three other friends come across an abandoned house in the country. One day, Michele stumbles upon what he thinks is a body in a hole in the ground. The boy is extremely shy and almost blind from being kept in the dark all the time. Michele realises that something is going on when he hears his parents and some friends watching the nightly news. They discuss in whispers something about a kidnapped boy whose mother makes an appeal on TV and he recognises that the boy in question is Filippo. The film is beautifully shot; the countryside is magnificent with endless fields of corn and the children excellent in their acting debuts. Directed by Gabriele Salvatores, and stars Aitana Sanchez-Gijon and Giuseppe Cristiano. (From Italy, in Italian, English subtitles) (Thriller) (2003) MA (L,A,V) CC WS
[SBS/3:45 am Thu] UEFA Champions League Final 2006/2007: LIVE from Athens Olympic Stadium, Greece. (Football Feature) Kick-off at 4.15am.

[Seven/12:00pm] Movie: Birthday Girl (US 2001) NICOLE KIDMAN and BEN CHAPLIN star in this romantic comedy about a thirtysomething bank clerk whose small-town life explodes with the arrival of his Russian mail-order bride.
[Seven/8:30pm] Heroes. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN 'COMPANY MAN'A shattering episode as forces collide when H.R.G.'s past catches up with him as Matt and Ted come to Texas looking for answers and discover the location of his family, leading to a tragic and explosive showdown. Haunting secrets are revealed and new threats to the 'heroes' are introduced. Guest starring ERIC ROBERTS, CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTON and MATTHEW JOHN ARMSTRONG.
[Seven/9:30pm] Prison Break. BAD BLOOD. Michael and Sara turn to Henry Pope to retrieve the information that will topple The Company. An escapee must chose between his daughter and his friends. T-Bag brings the Hollander family to his childhood home.
[Seven/10:30pm] 24. 1:00 A.M. - 2:00 A.M. Jack faces the consequences of his attempt to save Audrey. Karen and Bill's relationship hits the rocks. Guest starring RICK SCHRODER.

SYD / BRISBANE: Seven changes.

[Showtime/10:35pm] Movie: The King (2005) Gael Garcia Bernal Read more...

Trump fires himself

Donald Trump has fired himself from The Apprentice before NBC gets the chance to.

When the show wasn't announced in the new Fall Season, things were looking grim for the mogul. So he has decided to jump ship first. Instead he says he is "moving on from The Apprentice to a major new TV venture."

He just hasn't said what it is.

Hopefully it involves Rosie O'Donnell.

Or getting a wig. Read more...

Mouth in Top Gear?

Britain's media watchdog, The Office Of Communications has ruled that Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson made an offensive remark last year during an episode of the popular auto show.

Commenting that a Daihatsu Copen was "very ginger beer", rhyming slang for 'queer', Ofcom said his words "became capable of giving offence. In the context, there was no justification for using the word in this way."

An audience member had earlier descibed the car as "a bit gay" which prompted the comment from Clarkson.

Five viewers complained. Read more...

Vasili. The next Rove?

Meet Vasili - Greek gardener.

His new gardening / cooking / culture show Vasili's Garden starts on SBS on Wednesday night. But Vasili is no newcomer to television. He's already had a good run on Channel 31.

Yes just like Rove McManus (ok and Blokesworld) he is one of community television's alumni.

Vasili is a bit of a colourful character. he may look like he's there to do a Don Burke but he does a Dr. Phil while he's at it, Greek style. Vasili problem solves while he gardens. And he throws in a dash of Greek cooking, and a little culutural music while he's at it.

Press Release:

Vasili’s Garden is a fresh and thoroughly entertaining gardening program with a little bit of piano accordion and a lot of information.

Each week, real-life gardening guru Vasili Kanidiadis starts off pruning, trimming and spraying in his own garden, before visiting a special garden or two. He’s there to solve problems - providing seasonal tips and advice - as well as to explore the obsessions of each garden’s creator.

And he will fire viewers’ culinary senses as he regularly introduces viewers to his mum, Eleni Kaniadis, who will share traditional Greek recipes using home grown ingredients.

Vasili is a big fan of traditional methods, so he extols the virtues of compost and natural, home-made pesticides. This is not a man with a shed full of chemicals.

Vasili’s particular approach to gardening is based on common sense, water conservation and environmental and ecological sustainability. A gardening legend in Melbourne with his own nursery, Vasili will give up to the minute advice on having the most bountiful – as well as ecologically and environmentally friendly – gardens in Australia.

As Vasili delves into private worlds on the other side of backyard fences, he discovers a world of characters who are passionate about their plants and produce. Meet John - an Italian migrant who uses every centimetre of his roof to collect water in a vast range of containers – and Ik, whose topiary garden resembles Jurassic Park in a leafy kind of way. Franco shares his fruit tree grafting secrets, honed at his suburban hobby farm, while Val the 82-year-old singing ukulele player has more than a passing knowledge of irises, with 400 varieties in his garden.

Vasili’s Garden will also discover Maureen and her hibiscus hobby, a speech therapist with a Japanese garden built for Australian conditions and some enthusiastic backyard beekeepers.

Vasili’s Garden is made by I Like It Productions in association with SBS Independent.

As Vasili frequently says: “Maresi!”. (That’s “I like it” in Greek.)

Premieres 7:30pm Wed on SBS. Read more...

Gallery: UK BB House

The UK's eighth Big Brother series is about to get underway.

Traditionally the UK series has been brimming with bold ideas and casting, unlike our house this year which has just put in two more 20-somethings in.

The UK house has just been revealed, boasting a 'modernistic sur-realistic' makeover.

Nothing is where you'd expect it in this house. There's a bath in the middle of the lounge room. The fridge is across the backyard. The sink is on one side of the living area while the hotplate is opposite. The kettle and toaster are kept under a glass case until BB decides to allow the housemates the comforts of everyday living. Like our house there is an environmental theme, and a phone inside the house.

More pics:

Big Brother kicks off Wednesday, May 30 at 9pm on Channel 4. Source: Digital Spy











Read more...

ABC to air Global Warming Swindle

The ABC has bought a controversial documentary The Great Global Warming Swindle which is seen as an antidote to Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth.

The documentary's theories that global warming is caused by the radiation of the sun, and not human activity, divided viewers when it aired in the UK.

ABC will screen it in July.

Quick somebody tell outspoken columnist Andrew Bolt!

Press Release:

ABC TV today announced the purchase of a controversial documentary on climate change.

The Great Global Warming Swindle, written and directed by Martin Durkin, caused controversy in the UK when it screened on Channel 4 in March.

The Great Global Warming Swindle features leading academics, scientists and journalists discussing the facts, myths and evidence surrounding one of the most contentious issues of our time.

"Currently the issue of global warming is being debated around the world. This documentary presents a controversial side to that debate," says ABC Director of Television, Mr Kim Dalton.

"There are people who still question the link between human activity and global warming. I believe it's important that these views are heard and debated."

ABC TV has purchased the 60-minute international version of the program and will screen it in July.

According to Martin Durkin's documentary the chief cause of climate change is not human activity but changes in radiation from the sun.

The Great Global Warming Swindle has been called the definitive retort to Al Gore's 'An Inconvenient Truth'. Read more...

Nine announces Canal Road

Aussie actor Paul Leyden is to return from the US for Nine's new local drama, Canal Road.

The hunky actor who has appeared in As The World Turns, LAX, Ghost Whisperer and Law & Order: SVU will feature as a psychiatrist in a legal / medical advisory centre who is confronted by the killer of his wife and son.

Joining Leyden are actors Brooke Satchwell, Grant Bowler, Diana Glenn, Sibylla Budd and Charlie Clausen.

Set to air in 2008 the series could see Nine producing more local drama in ages. Nine also has McLeod's Daughters, Sea Patrol and Underbelly on its slate. What is especially interesting is that this is an in-house production by Nine. Seven has had great success and great profit from its in -house productions including Home & Away.

Press Release:

The Nine Network today announced production has commenced on Australia’s newest drama series – Canal Road.

Canal Road is a medical and legal advisory centre where the lives of inner-city professionals and their patients entwine in a story of mystery and intrigue. At the heart of the series are the tragic deaths of the wife and son of central character Spencer McKay. Spencer is the centre’s psychiatrist who is confronted by the killer of his loved ones and sets out on a journey of revenge which will implicate friends, workmates and his darkest demons.

NIDA graduate Paul Leyden (Dragnet, LAX, Law & Order: SVU) has returned from the United States to take the lead role of Spencer McKay. Joining him are Diana Glenn (The Oyster Farmer, Somersault), Brooke Satchwell (Tripping Over, Dangerous), Grant Bowler (Outrageous Fortune, Through My Eyes), Sibylla Budd (The Secret Life of Us), Charlie Clausen (McLeod’s Daughters, Blue Heelers), Patrick Brammall (Home and Away, The Alice), Peta Sergeant (Satisfaction, All Saints) and dynamic newcomers Alyssa McClelland (Small Claims) and Sam Anderson.

“The Nine Network’s objective has been to put good quality Australian drama up on the screen,” said Jo Horsburgh, Nine’s Head of Drama.

“We've sought a very diverse production slate to complement our longstanding successful drama series McLeod’s Daughters, starting with Sea Patrol, which is action and adventure on a navy patrol boat, Underbelly, based on the Melbourne gangland murders, and now Canal Road.

“The cast of Canal Road is incredibly talented and, as an ensemble, they are simply a knockout. I'm very proud of what everyone has achieved.”

Canal Road is produced in-house by the Nine Network under the creative leadership of producer Susan Bower, in collaboration with writers Sarah Smith, John Ridley and Dave Warner, and directed by Kevin Carlin. Filming takes place at Channel Nine’s GTV Studios and on location in and around Melbourne. The 13-part series will go to air in 2008.

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Tue May 22

[Ten/7:00pm] Big Brother. Intruder Alert!
[Ten/8:30pm] NCIS. "Dead Man Walking"
[Ten/9:30pm] Numb3rs. "Waste Not" Guest Stars: Kathy Najimy

[Nine/8:35pm] CSI. Directed by Quinten Tarantino. Rpt.
[Nine/10:35pm] Hell’s Kitchen.

[ABC/8:00pm] Choir of Hard Knocks. After just six weeks, Jonathon's choir of homeless and disadvantaged people has busked at Flinders Street Station in Melbourne and raised more than $600, enough for a few hours in a recording studio to make a Christmas CD. Proceeds from this will go towards funding the choir. Jonathon now faces a race against time to get them good enough to sing on that CD. Giving him a hand is the choir's new patron, a man no stranger to hard knocks, Australian rock legend, Jimmy Barnes. Meanwhile, the realities of running a choir for homeless and disadvantaged people become evident. Not everyone has ready access to showers and clean clothes and a difficult personal hygiene issue has to be addressed as sensitively as possible. And one of Jonathon's best voices, Hank, has gone missing, despite a search by his mate Allan. When he turns up, it's with battle scars. He's been in hospital with a badly broken wrist after an assault in his hostel. However, that's not going to stop Hank auditioning for a solo spot on the CD - along with most of the choir. Nerves are at breaking point, and with some of the choir trying to give up drink and drugs as part of the journey, it's not surprising the tension boils over. Finally they get to the recording studio - but time is very tight and they may not get the tracks they need down in time.

[SBS/8:30pm] Colonia Dignidad A powerful investigative documentary that exposes human depravation, Colonia Dignidad screens in the Cutting Edge timeslot on SBS Television, Tuesday, May 22 at 8.30pm. Some forty years ago, a German sect settled in the Chilean countryside and established a colony, Colonia Dignidad. In 2005, the leader of the colony, and former member of the SS, Paul Schäfer, was jailed for 20 years for abuse of minors. During the documentary we learn that he had friends in high places in Chilean society, particularly when Pinochet and his Junta ran the country. Pinochet's regime turned the colony into one of the worst torture camps in Chile. Colonia Dignidad still survives today, and some argue that this is due to its economic power and its powerful friends in business and in national and international politics. In Chile it is said that the day the Colony Dignity falls, the light will finally come out on all the crimes of the Latin-American dictatorships.
[SBS/10:00pm] Movie: Gates of Heaven (US 1980) “A masterpiece. One of the ten best films of all time.” Roger Ebert - Chicago Sun Times. The penultimate documentary of the Errol Morris Season looks at two California cemeteries, one failed, one flourishing. Although the subject is dark and bizarre, the film is also wickedly funny and lingeringly sad. Ostensibly, this is a documentary about animals, yet far more is revealed about the owners and clients of the cemetery. The ability - and need - of humans to anthropomorphise their pets is remarkable. As people soliloquise about deceased pets, the utter sincerity of their love for their animals, and the idiosyncrasy that runs deep in the American psyche, is confirmed. Stylistically minimalist in the tradition of Lars Von Trier, Academy-Award winning director Errol Morris’ debut film, Gates of Heaven, screens in the Hot Docs timeslot on SBS Television, Tuesday, May 22 at 10.00pm. A late scene consists of static shots of headstones. Near one, we see a rubber chew toy of a newspaper which reads: “The Dailey Growl” in lieu of a bouquet of flowers. Many have plaques, with pictures and quaintly canny elegies, such as “God is love — backward it’s dog.” The relationship between owners and their pets channels other, infinitesimally deeper issues, such as the notion of the necessity of companionship, that distrust is an infallibly human tendency, and even deeper ruminations on spiritual fate.
[SBS/11:30pm] Movie: Russian Ark - (Russkij Kovcheg)- Told in one fluid real-time shot, this film follows a 19th century French aristocrat - notorious for his scathing memoirs about life in Russia - as he travels through the majestic spaces of the Hermitage in St. Petersburg, engaging real and imagined characters from Russian and European history. Staged among some of Western Art's greatest masterpieces, climaxes in a pageant of colour, motion, and music. The Hermitage - home to generations of Romonovs and the repository of so much Russian history - is the ark of the Russian soul, which he guards affectionately until the world sees better days. Directed by Aleksandr Sokurov, and stars Mariya Kuznetsova and Sergei Dontsov. (From Russia, in Russian, English subtitles) (History) (2002) (Rpt) G WS
[SBS/1:15am Wed] Chasing God - Narrated by comedian Dawn French, this documentary tackles the eternal question: Why do humans believe in a Higher Power? The film also takes us on an enlightening journey to the Vatican, the Ganges, The Wailing Wall, The Dome of the Rock Mosque, The Golden Temple and the Dalai Lama Temple in the Himalayas. Documents a worldwide quest to discover a paradoxically unifying principle that may well lie beyond the divisive interpretations of God. This film features the Atheist (Australia's Phillip Adams), the Sikh, the Buddhist, the Pastor, the Scientist, the Muslim, the Rabbi, the Guru, the Sufi, the Researcher (award-winning American author Richard Heinberg), the Spiritual Elder, and the Cardinal (the Vatican's Cardinal Francis Arinze). (From Australia, in English, Hindi and Arabic English subtitles) (Documentary) (Rpt) PG CC WS

[Seven/7:30pm] It Takes Two.
[Seven/9:30pm] All Saints. TIMING Von and Erica help a patient who cannot name his persecutor. Mike finds real life too hard to handle. Jack is confronted by someone who shares his dark past.
[Seven/12:30am Wed] Mile High. Rpt. Read more...

Reminder: Sydney & Brisbane changes

Just a quick reminder to viewers in Sydney and Brisbane that as from this week there are schedule changes affecting Seven shows on Wednesday and Thursday.

Prison Break will not be seen this week, but returns next week.

Heroes moves permanently to Thursdays at 8:30pm with Lost and The Amazing Race pushed back one hour.

Family Guy will be rested during this time.

From next week Air Crash Investigations screens regularly at 8:30pm on Wednesdays.

These changes do not affect Melbourne, Adelaide or Perth viewers who will see all shows as per usual.

Further info here. Read more...