Josh Seeks Godly Wife

 

24 Jul

I’m a 26 year-old Christian male in Marengo, Indiana (United States).

I would like to meet an honest, outgoing, spontaneous, open-minded, adventurous, girl with Christian values. Someone who is romantic and a good communicator. If you’d like someone to take your coat, open doors, flowers, poetry then you’ve found me.

I know there is a lot of info below… but I’m looking for someone with the same beliefs and values, so I think it’s all pretty important stuff. If you are interested please contact me…

Oh, if you do contact me I expect you will have read all this and know what you’re getting into. smiles Enjoy.

Contact Information

This is essentially my ChristianMingle.com profile… it was getting long and I felt it contained a lot of good information, so I thought I would publish it here as well… My name on Mingle is yyyc514 is you want to join and look me up.

Sorry, I would include alternative contact info here, but not sure if that would violate Mingle’s policies since I include this link on my Mingle profile…


Table of Contents

The below are subjects where I hold strong views and convictions based on God’s Word. Any girl interested in pursueing a friendship with future hope of a Godly romance should make sure we are largely in agreement in these key areas.

  1. The Bible
  2. About Josh
  3. We are not of this world (Phil 3:20)
    1. Tolerance of Sin
    2. Television
    3. Video Games
    4. Movies
    5. Modesty
  4. Dating vs Courtship
  5. Marriage
    1. Kids
    2. Divorce
    3. Birth Control
  6. Abortion
  7. Meeting in Person
  8. Weight & Health
  9. Other Notes
  10. Still to add
    1. Biblical Roles of Men and Women

The Bible – The Word of God

Scripture support: below

I believe the following about the Bible and I’m looking for someone with the same beliefs:

  1. It is God’s written revealation to man, given to us by the Holy Spirit through various authors and is equally inspired in all parts. (1 Cor 2:7-14, 2 Pet 1:20,21)
  2. It is verbally inspired in every word (2 Tim 3:16) and absolutely without error in the original documents, infallible, and God-breathed)
  3. I believe in a literal (where possible), grammatical-historical interpretation of scripture, which affirms that the creation story in Genesis is 6 literal days.
  4. While there may be many applications of a given scripture there is only one true interpretation. To find the true meaing one should apply a literal, grammatical-historical method of interpretation along with the enlightment of the Holy Spirit (John 7:17, John 16:12-16, 1 Cor 2:7-15, 1 John 2:20).
  5. It is the responsibility of all true believers to carefully study and understand the meaning of scripture and recognize that the proper application is binding on all generations.
  6. The truth of scripture stands in judgement of man, never do we stand in judgement of scripture.
  7. We can seek a deeper understanding of scripture, but it is not our place to ever call God unfair just because we can’t make the Bible fit our worldview… Our worldview should be the Bible.

WARNING: The below are WRONG, and NOT what I believe.

If you believe any of the following we would likely be unequally yoked (in my estimation):

  1. The Bible is old, outdated, and not much of it applies today.
  2. It’s full of good morals and teachings but it’s not absolute truth.
  3. It’s full of errors and inconsistencies and can’t be right 100% of the time.
  4. The Bible is well and good, but all religions lead to the same God so Budah is ok to.

WARNING: The above are WRONG, and NOT what I believe.

About Josh

The Basics

Gender Male
Location Marengo, IN, USA
Age 26

The Details

Height 6’ 1” (185 cm)
Build I should maybe lose a few
Hair Dark Brown
Eyes Blue/Grey
Relationship Status Single – never married
Children 0
Children home 0
Smoking Never
Drinking Rarely
Denomination Non-denominational
Religious Involvement every week
Education Some College
Field of Work Information Technology
Ethnicity Caucasian / White
Native Language English

Fun Facts

Music Christian
Movie Romance
Outdoor activity Camping/Hiking/Fishing
Indoor activity Programming/Computers
Time of year Fall
Food Chinese
Self-description Happy and fun
Looks I look both ways before crossing the street.
Mentality Intelligent
Politics Conservative
Great getaway Hiking down the Grand Canyon
Living quarters House
Like to live A house on the beach
Timeliness I am usually early
Planning Planning? What is that?
As for fashion I dress to be comfortable

Tolerance of Sin

Scripture support: Hebrews 6 and 10, Revelations 3:16, 1 John 2 and 3, Matthew 7, and others

Why is it most Christians I know are so tolerant of sin? I mean we agree on the big things… don’t worship idols, don’t steal, don’t kill, [fill in other big offenses here], etc… but then when it comes down to the little things… driving 5 miles over the speed limit purposely every day because you know you won’t be pulled over even though it’s breaking the law… breaking rules you agree to (like listing contact details on profiles here) because you know you can get away with it, or because the admin seems to approve them most times (even though it’s against the rules)... encouraging me to take on a pet when my lease specifly forbids it because the chances of my landlord finding out are so small and it needs a good home… endorsing sex outside of marriage because there is already a child on the way and hey “what do you expect them to do now, stop?”... What ever happened to true holiness, trying to become more and more Christ like every day?

What happened to true, regenerate, born-again Christians hating and despising sin in their lives? Why is it some Christians only seem to be Christian’s on the “big” things and go with convenience when it comes to the small details?

Moreover, how can someone claim to truly be a Christian, love Christ, yet knowingly and purposely (not accidentally, or slip-ups) deny him daily with their deeds and actions… I worry and pray for someone who can do that without questioning the assurance of their salavation…

“But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” – Matthew 7:14 – and no, that isn’t the only scripture that causes me to feel concern and pray for people like this – it’s one of many.

I’d like to find someone who thoroughly hates sin and seeks to live a truly holy, Christ like life…

Television

Scripture support: Philippians 4:8-9 – “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”, Luke 10:27, Mark 12:30, 1 Timothy 6:11-12

I have strong convictions when it comes to TV. A few years ago I cut off the cord and threw my TV away (and most of my movies) after God convicted me of how little truly decent (and edifying) content there was to watch. Also reading Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television is a real eye-opener (morals are only one good reason to toss your TV - there are many others). I believe strongly that kids should be rasied in a home free of the influence of television.

Added 5-31-2005
Also, there is a growing amount of research showing that young children (ages below 3) who watch TV may retard/slow their mental processes to a degree and become ADD, ADHD, or deal with some type of hyper-active disorder later in life. Therefore some doctors now strongly recommend kids below 2 or 3 watch NO TV (not even kids shows).

Added 7-27-2005 I’m looking for someone who can at least consider a life without TV and raising kids without a TV in the home. I realize a relationship is about compromise but if you think I’m a crazy fanatic for my strong views and for being perfectly content without TV then we’re probably worlds apart.

Video Games

Scripture support:
Philippians 4:8-9, “Thou shalt not kill.”, 1 Timothy 6:11-12, etc

I think violent/killing video games (the very popular type today) are not good for kids… Yes, I played them growing up, and no I haven’t gone crazy with a shotgun yet… but I don’t think they belong in a Christian home… there are much better ways kids should spend their time than sitting on their butt playing video games. Are such type of games ok mentally past a certain age? Perhaps… but do they become any more Godly, NO. In other words, my 16 y/o (one day) will not be playing a game where he runs around and kills other people while on my watch.

Movies

Scripture support:
Philippians 4:8-9 – “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”, 1 Timothy 6:11-12

If a movie has profanity, nudity/sex, drug use or many of the other things the world has become accustomed to… despite how “great” it is… I don’t think as a true Christian I should be watching it. Would Jesus watch it with me? Am I there yet, not totally… my friends aren’t very helpful in this area (no encouragement) but that is what I believe and I am moving closer and closer to that goal.

Added 5-31-2005
I refused to see the last Star Wars movie (Episode 3) simply because I don’t think God wants me to fill my heard with Anakin’s fall to the dark side. I think that time could better be spent in God’s service doing anything else… I wrote an entire paper about the movie from what I feel is a Biblical perspective if anyone is interested.

Added 7-28-2005 My friends drug me (yes, I admit I finally did give up and agree to go along) to see War of the Worlds the other night… I wanted to see Herbie (which I thought would at least be clean) but no one else was interested. I was deeply disappointed with myself the entire night afterwards and almost left the movie at one point. All I kept thinking was when the aliens showed up and starting killing everyone and everyone was so surprised that it would be much the same when Christ returns and finds most of the world ignorant, uncaring, and not prepared (including many church goers)... I know it’s probably the last thing the producers had in mind, but it was the biggest reoccuring thought in my mind.

I’m very sorry I went to see that movie and it’s caused me to be even more paranoid about what movies I will let myself see in the future. How can someone waste 2 hours putting such violence (several murders in cold blood on our count, many on the aliens) into their heads… what could I have accomplished in that 2 hours for Christ instead?

Kids

Scripture support: Proverbs 13:24 – “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.”

Discipline is important. Parents discussing and agreeing on things are important. I remember as a child getting one parent to crumble first then work on the other… important decisions should be made together and then stood beside. Kids will take advantage of dissent if they see it.

I’m not sure when kids should start dating… but no where before 16 (that’s prolly way too soon)... kids need to be kids… and dating is programming for divorce anyways… if you aren’t in a position to consider getting married, why fool around.

If public (and Christian schools as well) continue to detereorate and become more and more wordly then homeschooling becomes and more and more logical choose.

I think in the formulative years (until 5 or 6?) one parent should stay home and raise the kids while the other works. I think it can be the mom or dad as long as the other brings in income to support the family. I definately have no problem with the “default” man provides for the family, but if my wife wanted to pursue the career instead I could stay at home with the kids. Of course if you’re doing homeschool then one parent stays home indefinately.

2-3 kids sounds right to me, but I’m not against other suggestions and definately God’s will, not my own. :)

Marriage

Scripture support: Mark 10:6-9

“in sickness and in health… till death do us part”... watch The Notebook… my mom is talking divorce… my grandmother left grandfather alone in a nursing home for 10 years… (i mean she did visit him but it’s a far cry from the dedication and love shown in The Notebook)

I don’t believe in divorce for myself or my marriage (though see below for when the Bible allows it)... those vowes are for a reason… it’s about commitment not being happy 24/7… though I do think a commited marriage with God at the center should be joyful always.

I would expect to be married 1-2 years max of starting a courtship with a young lady. I don’t believe in dragging things out… if it’s the right person you should know…

Of course, always God’s timing not my own but when you see people who have been dating for 7 years, or engaged for 5 years, or living together for x years (this would be sin)... I’m just saying if it’s God you should know… it shouldn’t take years and years… people are too afraid of commitment these days.

Dating vs Courtship

Scripture support: 1 Cor 13; Proverbs 4:23; Hebrews 10:24-25; Eph 5:28,33; 1 Cor 7:1;

Books:

  1. I Kissed Dating Goodbye – Josh Harris
  2. Boy meets Girl, Say Hello to Courtship – Josh Harris

Helpful Links:

  1. Dating vs Courtship

A disclaimer

I can never do this topic justice here… there is so much written on this… so many reasons why God wants us to protect our hearts by courting, not dating… Josh Harris’s books on the subject are great though and I would encourage anyone with questions about dating to read them. The links above are also very helpful.

Added 2-20-2006 Ok, I’m still up in the air on some of this. I’m not sure it reflects accurately how I feel today, and I’m not sure how courtship applies in a long-distance, make decisions and sacrifices just to spend time with each other type situation… that tends to encourages closeness at an earlier stage, and bypass certain stages of “just friends”...

You can read some of my confusion in the “please note” paragraph below… but a lot of it has to do with the fact that once you feel that chemistry with someone and you “click” (even if in a group setting) there is already a little more than a friendship, and that can be hard to ignore… I think for some it truly is “just friends” until one day when you realize “hey, wow this is the kinda person I should marry” but I think for a lot of people those feelings creap in unawares and then you have to deal with them…

I will leave the below mostly unedited until I have time to properly update it.

The below is really only the tip of the iceberg…

Dating

In the modern dating scene you usually hide all your faults to give a false impression about yourself, in order to keep your partner liking you. Recreational dating is about self-gratification—you date to satisfy your own needs.

Courtship

Courtship is about open and honest exploration of each others lives and families leading up to engagement and marriage. Courtship is about marriage—you court in order to see if there is any reason why you shouldn’t get married. There is no romantic interaction until after the commitment to marriage. (I find this last part hard practically – Josh)

A Summary (in my words)

I’m using a clothing analogy here…

Dating is trying different people on romantically without really looking at them too closely and wearing them for different periods of time to determine if they fit well. If not you try the next item until you find one that’s pretty comfy then eventually you get married… and if it keeps fitting, great! But if the fit changes later you might tempted to try on another (by way of divorce and remarriage – over 50% of marriages end in divorce)...

Courting is finding an outfit you really like, spending time with it in the store day after day with all the other outfits (but never trying it on), getting to know what it looks like, the various colors, the individual tears in the fabric, the stains, etc. And after praying about it deciding you could see wearing this piece of clothing for life, and intend to…

Then you put it on… not with the intention of taking it back if it doesn’t fit, but rather with the intention of sticking with it and growing into it unless something untirely unexpected happens.

Some Proper Steps (partly from the link above)

Please note: You can see below I’m currently confused on where romance should start, where it does start, and what is practical… since often people are attracted on at least some level to even become friends. Previously this was slanted towards “no romance until after courting or commitment to marriage” but I think it depends on the definition of romance and I think it’s more complicated than such a simple rule. I’m definately open to discuss my current exact thoughts on this with anyone.

I very much enjoy opening doors, writing poetry, presenting a girl with flowers, holding hands, etc… I’m a romantic… but how does that fit in with courtship? I’m not sure yet.

In any case it’s important to protect our hearts as much as possible and not just “date around” playing the boy or girl lottery…

  1. Friends first, get to truly know each other, no romance (but is it possible to avoid those feelings?).
  2. She should be a close friend.
  3. She should be a commited Christian.
  4. She should have similar beliefs (hence this profile)
  5. Romance???
  6. Parents are involved and give their blessing to the courtship.
  7. Courtship
  8. Romance???
  9. Engagement
  10. Romance???
  11. Marriage
  12. Joyfully ever after just the 3 of us (her, myself and God)

How I currently feel:

  1. I believe men and women should get to know each other mostly in safe, group outings and gatherings (when possible)
  2. I think (best case) two people romanticly interested should not go out alone together (alone time spells trouble for so many people – if you can’t do it around your friends it’s probably not appropriate)
  3. I do not believe in dating where dating = try one person to see if it works, be romantic, be a (little) physical, if things don’t work, rinse and repeat
  4. I believe flirting, physical affection (hand holding and on up), and romantic gestures (best case) should not happen in a friendship prior to courtship but I think this is the point I’m most confused on (practically speaking) in the courtship/dating area (see my note above) and I don’t know that it’s really possible depending on your definition of romance.
  5. I believe people heave a point who say that it may be most appropriate to save all romantic gestures and affection until after a commitment to marriage has been established… so that even when courting you avoid sharing your heart with more than one person (read the link), but again I think this is way easier said than done, and I’m not sure about the realistic real-world application of this

Divorce

Scripture support: Matthew 19:9, Mark 10:11-12, Matthew 5, 1 Cor 7, Romans 7, Genesis (Adam and Eve)

I can find only two Biblical reasons for divorce in the Bible:

  1. Your partner commits adultry
  2. An unbeliever leaves and divorces you

I feel that divorces under any other circumstances and then later remarriage to a new partner would place both of the new partners in adultry (see Matthew 19:9, Mark 10:11-12). If I were to marry a women from an un-Biblical divorce I would be commiting adulty.

But what about abuse?

It’s my current understanding that abuse is not Biblical grounds for divorce. Yes, you should protect yourself (and your children – if there are kids), and a legal seperation is likely in order but I do not see grounds for divorce or remarriage (except for the above reasons).

Of course this is a highly controversial issue but I think the Biblical view is still to be embraced. I am open to discussion on this topic if based around scripture (not just personal opinion or what “feels” right or seems “fair”).

But what if it’s already yesterdays news, I’m non-Biblically divorced, I’m sorry, I’ve repented?

Yes, there is always God’s Love, His grace, and His overwhleming ability to forgive if we are repentant, but I feel convicted personally that such a marriage (with a non-Biblically divorced woman) would not be appropriate for myself.

I’m simply not sure that forgivness for the offense removes the fact that remarriage would be adulty (as stated in scripture), though this is of course disputed by many.

Birth Control

Scripture support:
Genesis 1 and 7, “Thou shalt not kill”, Jeremiah 1:5

Any birth control in a Christian marriage vs “be fruitful and multiply”?

A friend’s response:

umm… the “be fruitful and multiply” thing was to the only two persons on the earth, which was a vast empty globe with no people on it… the Earth is sufficiently replenished with human life these days

This makes perfect sense to me and satisfies more logical arguments like responsible family planning, etc.

Methods of Birth Control

I know there is great disagreement on when “life begins” but I think as a Christian to count a fertilized, growing egg as “not life” is to play with fire, and not a place I’m willing to go. I believe a fertilized egg constitutes life.

I think any type of birth control that is proven (or highly suspected) to kill fertilized eggs (sperm and egg joined to created life) would be a sin, as this is the taking of a life (albiet a very small one, but with great potential, and still very significant in God’s eyes).

I haven’t researched this thoroughly (so I don’t know which drugs kill for sure – but I’ve heard some do), but if a certain birth control was suddenly found to kill unborn children I could no longer support it’s continued use for my family… even if that meant no good alternatives were available.

Vasectomy or tube-tying would seem like quite valid forms of birth control for a Christian family (after you’d had kids of course).

Modesty

Scripture support:
Modesty: 1 Timothy 2:9, 2 Peter 3:3-4, 1 Peter 2:12
Causing a brother or sister to stumble: Romans 14:21, 1 Cor 8:9 (yes, I’m aware of context but I think it’s still valid)
Lust: Matthew 5:27-30 (why modesty is important)

Here are things I feel personaly are inmodest and not appropriate for women:

  1. A shirt that reveals cleavage or shows your breasts
  2. Skin tight clothing (shirt or pants)
  3. Low riding or low cut jeans meant to show your underwear or stomach
  4. 2 piece bathing suits (way inmodest – how is this different than underwear?)
  5. Tank top type shirts for women (a friend believes sleeveless is too much, but I think it’s fine)
  6. Short shorts
  7. Short skirts
  8. Jewlery is ok, but not the point of being gaudy, distracting, or worn only to show your wealth/affluence

Skirts coming to withing a few inches of the knees and shorts below mid-thigh are probably fine… but I know that I don’t stumble near as quickly in this area as it seems most guys do, so maybe my thoughts are pretty tame compared to true modesty.

Full length skirts or stronger views are fine as well as well, I’m not sure a girl in this day and age can be too modest.

Weight and Health

Scripture support: 1 Cor 6:19-20 (yes, it’s speaking of sexual sin in context, but I think honoring God with our body could also easily include keeping it healthy and ready to do his bidding when he calls us.

With regard to weight it IS very nice to be able to pick up your girl and carry her… and losing weight myself and being healthy is a long-term goal of mine and i’d want someone who believed the same…

That being said it upsets me to see so many girls clicking “slim, large but muscular, hot body” (or equivalents) with out even considering “a few pounds over”... I think someone’s weight today isn’t so much an issue as how they feel about it and a long-term commitment to be healthy and eat healthy. I know I want someone to encourage me in those areas (so I can lose these few extra pounds that I don’t need).

Abortion

Scripture support:
“Thou shalt not kill”, Jeremiah 1:5

I am pro-life/pro-birth. Abortion for any reason is killing an innocent and I cannot support that.

The only exception (and this is very rare)... if the mother’s very life is in great danger by carrying the pregnancy to term then:

  1. place total trust in God and continue the pregnancy or
  2. prayerfully seek God’s will concerning both lives and a possible abortion

In the above case (and all others) these babies will go to heaven…

Do babies who die go to heaven?

Yes, not as innocents, but as sinners saved by God’s grace which is extended to them unconditionally by his mercy until the point of accountability.

  1. The Salvation of Babies Who Die – John MacArthur
  2. The Salvation of Babies Who Die (Part 2) – John MacArthur

Meeting in Person

I don’t think online was ever meant to replace real-life… I can’t believe we’re meant to form relationships or get to know people solely on a medium that hasn’t even existed for 100 years… I think the way things worked for the thousands of years before that is the best way… not that you can’t make friends online… but it’s not the same.

From the above I draw these conclusions:

If you live next door (within an hour or so)

  1. chat and talk on the phone a little (maybe a week or two)
  2. see if you believe the same things, have the same dreams, get along, or click at all
  3. pray about it
  4. meet in a safe, public place in a group environment (all friends, no romance or romantic undertones)

In other words talking online for months “getting to know each other” before meeting is ridiculus if you live right next door… I want to spend less time online, more time in real life... less online friends, more real-life friends…

I’m not one to rush things… but I do believe in spending time together in person as soon as is reasonable and safe… sometimes people are totally different in person…

If you are FAR away

Obviously if people are worlds apart a different strategy is called for and depends on the circumstance. Feel free to discuss with me.

Why did I join Mingle, why this page? 10 May

I’m looking for that special person that God already has in mind for me that I’m to spend the rest of my life with.

What I’d like to do on a first date… 10 May

I wish I could steal what this one girl wrote, but I’ll be more creative than that… A meal (dinner, picnic, cooking, anything) and plenty of time to talk and get to know someone. Hiking, being outside, put-put golf, anything that’s fun and allows a chance to communicate. Or just sitting outside in God’s beautiful outdoors and enjoying each others company. Also something flexible, not planned… with the ability to change on a whim and be spontaneous.

My past relationships have taught me… 10 May

Honesty and communication are important above all things and if there are major obsticals or things (totally conflicting beliefs) that make a relationship unrealistic it’s best to not get started and save the heartache.

Although distance is possible I would still be nice to meet “the girl next door”. Someone I really have a chance to spend time with (not just weekends or once in a while). But God’s will, not my own. He has the best plan anyways.

To me, being a Christian means… 10 May

  1. Realizing that I am a sinner totally lost in my sin without Christ (Romans 3:23-24, 6:23)
  2. Acknowledging my sin and repenting and asking forgiveness for it.
  3. Confessing Jesus as Lord and Savior (Romans 10:9)
  4. Living a changed life
    (ie, hating sin, loving God with all that I am, not being a “lukewarm” Christian)

I worry about those I see who profess Christ but deny him every day with their actions. (Revelations 3:14-21, Matthew 7:13-23, 1 John 3:4-12)

I would have cut and pasted all the verses, because I do like to make things easy for people, but if you are seriously interested to know what I’m talking about it’s not hard to look them up and read.

Added April 17th
Was discussing what I believe with someone on Mingle and though it’d be great to paste it here…

i believe (right now, off the top of my head) that we’re all sinners, death is and eternal condemnation is our just due, God sent his son Jesus Christ to die on the Cross for the sins of the entire world… to satisfy God’s righteous judgement against sin… died on the crosss… he went to hell, triumphed over satan… rose again 3 days later… ascended to heaven… and is coming back one day when we least expect him…

i believe to inherit eternal life one must believe in Christ (believe in your heart) as saviour and confess (confess with your mouth) that he is Lord and you shall be saved… now I think that confessing he is Lord implies making him so in your life… I believe in “Lordship salvation” as I understand it… that to love God and be a child of God implies that you will obey his commands… there are no “carnal” Christians…

ie, no Christians that lead lives full of sin and are un-repentant yet affirm Christ as Lord and Savior… or merely as Savior… I think they are deceived and on the wide road…

i believe the road is narrow and few will find it and all of us (if we love God) should hunger after him, and his glory, and seek what would please him and endeavor to lead a pure and holy life (in the eyes of God)...

i believe someone who speeds (5 miles over to example) every day of their life, and never repents or comes under conviction and does so knowing the Bible condemns the breaking of man’s law (when it doesn’t conflict with God’s law) and that this displeases God (even if it seems minor) that they should question their salvation… i think sin is a very seriously thing not to be toyed with…

i think baptism is not required for salvation… you can get into heaven without being baptised… but it is an outward confession of faith of an inward change and that a true Christion should desire baptism to show their outward profession of their inward faith…

In five years, I see myself… 10 May

Settling down, getting married, having a few kids, finally discovering exactly what I want to do with my life and how my family will fit into that picture.

My favorite Bible passage is… 10 May

Jeremiah 29:11, because it shows that even though sometimes I can be pretty confused about God’s plan for my life that he does have one, and it’s a doozie. :-)

One final thing I’d like to mention… 10 May

Wow, you got this far huh? I’m just a down-to-earth guy that’s torn between my love of working with children (I was a Christian camp counselor for 2 summers in Texas and LOVED it) and working with computers (how I tend to pay the bills, cause camp doesn’t tend to do that very well. I love kids and I’m open to the possibility of God leading me to a single mom. I’ve known a few and they need just as much love and care as anyone else… and their kids need a Dad if their biological father isn’t in their lives like he should be.

I’ve always said it’s like “buy one, get one free”. A girl got offended when I told her that the other day… but I view it as a positive statement… kids need love just like the rest of us, they aren’t “baggage”. If God leads me to a girl with a child, then God has led me not only to the girl, but her child/children as well.

Two weeks at camp I knew this one 6 year old girl that got attached to me… she’d run to me each morning when she saw me and jump into my arms and I’d talk to her for a bit then set her back down to play. My friend Edge saw us one day and said he though I was going to make a great Dad. I can’t wait.

I’m a virgin and I’ve never really kissed a girl (assuming cheek, forehead, and grandma don’t count)... Obviously if my heart goes out to single moms I don’t require a girl who is a virgin, but I do want someone who places a high value on their purity. I’ve talked to some girls that are like “Well, once purity was important but then I gave it up and what does it matter now”... if that’s your attitude (or close) don’t look here.

I’ve read Josh Harris and I’m not sure that I’m saving my first kiss for marriage (I’m saving my virginity for sure) but I’ve just always felt there was supposed to be this magical moment, you know… fireworks, music (well, not exactly), something special… and I’ve just never that moment… so I’m still waiting.

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This list is from eHarmony.
Must Haves
Chemistry… I must feel deeply in love with and attracted to my partner.
→ I must have someone who is good at talking and listening.
→ I must have someone who isn’t afraid to take a risk and who sees life as an adventure.
→ I must have someone who is comfortable giving and receiving affection.
Loyality… I must have someone I can count on to always support me.
→ I must have a partner who is able to adapt to life’s surprises.
→ I must have a partner who is committed to marriage, home, and family.
→ I must have someone who shares my views about how to raise children.
→ I must have a partner who is able to forget about money and focus on the important parts of life.
→ I must have someone with a similar deep commitment to spirituality, who shares my beliefs (preferably an active church-goer).
Can’t Stands
→ I can’t stand someone who is constantly depressed and unhappy about their life.
→ I can’t stand someone who lies to anyone-especially to me.
→ I can’t stand someone who can’t manage their anger, who yells, or bottles it up inside.
→ I can’t stand someone who easily loses perspective and constantly worries.
Hypochondriac… I can’t stand someone who has a general disposition of sickness and is constantly treating the symptoms of their supposed illness.
Television Junkie… I can’t stand someone who constantly watches television.
Poor Hygiene… I can’t stand someone who is not clean.
→ I can’t stand someone who swears or uses inappropriate language or humor.
→ I can’t stand someone who is so extremely shy that they cannot open up and share with me.
→ I can’t stand someone who engages in sex outside a commited married relationship (I can forgive the past, but if this is how you live now we’ll never work out).