TVSquad

Boy, what a mess! Unless you live out in a tar shack in the middle of Montana (writing your manifesto, obviously) you know that the United States, nay, the world, is facing one of the worst economic crises in this modern time. Stocks are plummeting, financial institutions are folding, credit is tighter than Miley Cyrus' chastity belt. People are pulling out their money left and right, trying to find a safe place to invest until all of the craziness dies down.

That, of course, is where we come in. Sure, first and foremost we are a website that features information on television. But, we also have access to some of the greatest financial gurus that were ever created by television writers. To assist you in the right investment choices, we have compiled a list of those we feel you could trust to invest your remaining funds in a wise manner. Also listed, as a public service, are those who you shouldn't consider giving a penny to during the harshest economic times.

So, before your 401(k) loses another percentage point, here are your choices.

The Simpsons is about to go some place it has never gone before: Homer Simpson's colon.

According to The New York Post, Homer is going to undergo a colonoscopy this season. Actually, it's not going to be part of the long-running FOX show, it's going to be part of the multi-network cancer benefit on September 5 titled Stand Up To Cancer. The Post even quotes a line from the segment that already has me laughing, from Marge: "There's his wedding band! He told me he was having it polished!" Which begs the question, do Marge and Homer even wear their rings?

Stand Up To Cancer is an ambitious telethon that will air on all four networks (ABC, CBS, NBC, and FOX). The three network news anchors (Katie Couric, Charles Gibson, and Brian Williams) even went on the morning shows several weeks back to promote this rare display of unity between the networks.

Hopefully Homer will be clean as a whistle, despite 40 plus years of eating fried foods and donuts.

I was going to make some sort of "dough" and "doh!" here, but I'm sure that will already happen elsewhere.

The owner of a candy store in Aviles, Spain found a Euro with the face of Simpsons star (star? character?) Homer Simpson on it. The coin usually has King Juan Carlos on it. The other side of the coin wasn't touched, and no other coins have shown up with the likeness of Homer, or any other TV character, for that matter.

Which got me thinking: putting TV and movie characters on coins is a great idea. The U.S. is so obsessed with pop culture, what better way to show that then to put celebrities and characters on our money? I can imagine Montgomery Burns on the $100 bill.

It's coming. The table is set, the players are on the field, the sails are raised, and the pretty maids are all in a row. Of course, I speak of the 2008-09 television schedule. In just a few short weeks viewers will be able to dine on a number of favorite and new dishes that are being served by the networks as well as the increasing number of cable channels who are delving into original programming.

While other fall seasons have come and gone with nary a whimper, this season may be different. Due to the prolonged Writers Strike many shows ended their seasons quite early. Programs like Life, Private Practice, Pushing Daisies, and Heroes haven't aired original episodes since the end of 2007. Heck, there hasn't been a new episode of The Shield since June of last year! So, the beginning of the 2008-09 season will be a second chance for some of these shows, particularly the ones that premiered last season, to show their worth to fans and the networks.

Day three of Comic-Con 2008 began with waiting in a line that streched the length of the convention center for the Futurama panel, which was followed by The Simpsons panel. Futurama featured the primary voice cast of Billy West, Katey Sagal, and John DiMaggio as well as creators Matt Groening and David X. Cohen.

Due to time limitations the panel when right into audience questions. One that was asked pertained to Matt and David's plans for the show. Both meant said that they had the entire story of Futurama planned even before the show began. They didn't know where the show would go, and they still have plenty of secrets to reveal in upcoming DVD releases.

Do not adjust your web browser. You are now entering the Retro Squad, where we are reviewing past episodes of classic TV shows.

The original version of Star Trek has been a show with two faces. On the one face, it was a serious show that dramatized the good and glorious future we humans could have after we screwed everything up (though, with so many wars going on around the galaxy, how good and glorious could it be?). On the other face, at least to some, it was a campy science fiction show that featured poor special effects, bad acting, and tunics that really didn't hold up to space travel too well.

Since the show left the airwaves in 1969, that second face is the one that television shows throughout the decades have parodied. Whether it be the original series itself, or the subsequent movies, or the conventions that sprung up from this show that lasted only 79 episodes. Shows both animated and live-action have found ways to skewer the show's, and its fans', good intentions. After the jump you'll find a few examples of those parodies either to laugh with or be angry at.

Saturday -- a time of rest and relaxation. A time to put your feet up, grab a lemonade, open a book, and let the cool, summer breezes gently rock your hammock as a lazy July day passes. Of course, that's if you aren't attending the San Diego Comic-Con. Then, it's out of your bed, quick shower (if any), breakfast-on-the-go, and right back into the queues to see your particular favorites talking about their television shows.

Like Friday, Saturday at Comic-Con will be packed with television goodness. This is the day that many of the big guns come to play. Shows like The Office, Lost, Battlestar Galactica will be making appearances. They will be joined by newcomers Chuck, Dollhouse, and Pushing Daisies. There will even be an appearance by the recently single Sarah Silverman. There's also a good bit of television animation being featured, particularly by Nicktoons and B.E.T. Animation.

In order to make sure you get the most out of the money you paid to get into the convention, we here at TV Squad are providing you with a complete list of television-related panels for that day. If you are interested in seeing what else is going on July 25th you can review the official full schedule at the Comic-Con website. Remember, times and appearances are subject to change and seating in all event rooms is on a first-come, first-serve basis.

As usual, FOX leaves the best press conference (at least as far as I was concerned) for last. I sat through Karl Rove and Chris Wallace getting contentious with the critics near the end of the FOX News panel (more on that later), Jerry O'Connell and the cast of Do Not Disturb strain to answer questions about a show whose clip reel wasn't all that funny, and the millionaires from Secret Millionaire talk about being poor for a week. All of it was made worth it (and, really, seeing Rove start to get annoyed near the end was fun to watch) so we could see the final panel: all the producers of all FOX's Sunday animated shows.

The first person who spoke up, not surprisingly, was Seth MacFarlane. "Is this where Karl Rove sat? Because I don't want to get AIDS." Wow. Unfortunately, no line that was said after that was as shocking or funny. But it was all still pretty good.

Okay, show of hands. How many of you are going to the upcoming San Diego Comic-Con to see all of the panels being held by the many television studios and shows? Uh-huh, a good amount. Now, how many of you are going to be perusing the booths and dealers down at the exhibit hall? Ahhh, not so fast!

If you're a fan of all things television and you think you'll have some time to see what else is going on during this, the world's largest science fiction and comic book convention, you may want to re-think your plans. This isn't your grandfather's, father's, or even older brother's comic book convention.

Starting last year this convention has become the biggest television event between the TCA's the week before (which we are covering, by the way) and the Emmy's at the end of the summer. This year is no exception as the days are packed with shows varying from Stargate Atlantis and Battlestar Galactica to Big Bang Theory and Bones.

Do not adjust your web browser. You are now entering the Retro Squad, where we are reviewing past episodes of classic TV shows.

Even when it isn't at its greatest (which, for many fans, hasn't been since season 10) The Simpsons has still provided some great parodies of classic movies and television programs. For instance, in the season four episode "Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie" they did a great parody of the Star Trek movie franchise with Star Trek XII: So Very Tired. I still crack up everytime I see the scene where the severely obese Scotty is telling an aged Captain Kirk that he can't push the warp engines any further.

Are you familiar with the works of actor Troy McClure? You might know him from Locker Room Towel Fight: The Blinding of Larry Driscoll. But as the IMDb notes, he has had quite a long career.

Mental Floss has a new quiz up at their site, Troy McClure Film or Actual Terrible Movie? It contains 15 questions about the work of McClure (voiced on The Simpsons, of course, by Phil Hartman - the character was retired when Hartman passed away). They give you a film title and you have to guess whether it's a fake Troy McClure film from an episode of The Simpsons or an actual film that somehow got made (note: just pick a film and the site automatically goes to the next question). I got 10 out of 15, but I think that was more because of my knowledge of bad films than specific episodes of The Simpsons.

Some of the titles of these movies and TV shows are priceless (don't worry, these aren't on the quiz): David vs. Super Goliath, Calling All Quakers, Lead Paint: Delicious But Deadly, Smoke Yourself Thin, Pepsi Presents: Fractions. I also like the telethon Let's Save Tony Orlando's House (today he would be hosting a special for Ed McMahon).

Earlier this week our pals over at Cinematical reported that Rogen and his writing partner Evan Goldberg now have a release date for their update of the cult classic Green Hornet. And now comes word that the pair, who previously worked together on Pineapple Express, Superbad, and Da Ali G Show, are writing an episode for The Simpsons. While talking with Collider, Rogen explains that after meeting James L. Brooks at a party he figured he had an in with The Simpsons. He was right, and after pitching 5 ideas for the show they got the gig. Animation schedules being what they are the episode won't make it into the upcoming season, but it's something to look forward to.

[via digitalspy]

It took just a few weeks, but the trouble is over. The two sides have met and negotiated a fair arrangement. No, I'm not referring to the Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama camps and the Florida and Michigan delegates. No, the news is more animated than that. The powers that be at 20th Century Fox TV have re-signed the actors who voice the The Simpsons.

The principals are signing new four-year deals in which the talent will receive substantial increases in salary. They had been getting $360,000 per episode and were looking for a bump up in that fee to $500,000 per. The negotiated compromise amount is about $400,000 per show. And as expected, instead of a 22 episode season commencing next fall, there'll be 20 shows in the year ahead.

Due to the complicated and apparently outdated Emmy Awards nomination rules, prime-time animated shows like Family Guy, The Simpsons, American Dad, South Park and others have had to choose which Emmy category they want to compete in, animated or comedy series. Then, that decision impacts eligibility for writers and animators on those shows in other categories. Well, Family Guy is in a unique position this year, as their "Blue Harvest" Star Wars parody was classified as a special. And as the animated category looks at single episodes, Family Guy can submit "Blue Harvest" to the animated category, and the show itself, to comedy series.

I'd say it's a tremendous long shot that an animated show can be nominated over the live-action comedy series it will be facing. But there's always a first time for everything; when Disney's animated Beauty and the Beast picked up an Oscar nod for "Best Picture" it was groundbreaking in the same way. It's a tough debate. These shows compete with prime-time comedies every week and yet get put up against the likes of Spongebob Squarepants come awards time. How do you compare The Venture Brothers and Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends?

She's been the voice of precocious child Lisa Simpson on The Simpsons since she was 23 years old, but her problems are more grown up. Yeardley Smith has filed for divorce from her husband of six years.

The reason cited for her split from Daniel Erickson was "irreconcilible differences." This is the second divorce for Smith, having divorced actor Christopher Grove in 1992. Smith is planning to change her last name back to Smith from Erickson. The couple have no children.