Twain, Mark, 1835-1910
. A True Story, Repeated Word for Word as I Heard It
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[A Perfectly] [ A] True Story, re-
peated word for word
as I heard it.
[ -- ]
It was summer
time, & twilight. We
were sitting on the porch of the farm-house, [ on the summit of the hill,] [&]
[ &] "Aunt Rachel" was sit-
ting respectfully below
our level[ ,] [ on the steps,] -- for she was
our servant, & colored.
She was of mighty frame
& stature; she was sixty
-2-
years old, but her eye was
undimmed ∧ her strength
unabated. She was a
cheerful, hearty soul, &
it was no more trouble for
her to laugh than it is for
a bird to sing. She was
under fire, now, as usual
when the day was done.
That is to say, she was
being chaffed without
mercy, and was enjoying it.
She would let off peal
after peal of laughter, &
then sit with her face in
her hands & shake with
-3-
throes of enjoyment which
she [ could] no longer get breath
enough to express. At
such a moment as
this a thought [happened
to] occur[ red] to me, ∧ I said: "Aunt Rachel, how
is it that you've lived
sixty years & never had
any trouble?"
She stopped quaking.
She paused, & there was a
moment of [ [unclear: still] ]
silence. She turned her
face over her shoulder
toward me, & said, with-
-4-
out even a smile in
her voice:
"Misto C., is you in
arnest?"
It surprised me quite
a good deal -- & it sobered
my manner & my speech, too.
I said:
"Why, I thought -- that is,
I meant -- why, you can't
have had any trouble.
I've never heard you sigh,
and never seen your eye
when there wasn't a laugh
in it."
She faced fairly around,
now, & was full of earnestness.
-5-
[illeg.]
["] Has I had any trouble?
Misto C., I's gwyne to tell you,
den I leave it to you. I was
bawn down mongst de slaves
-- I knows all 'bout slavery,
['cause] [ 'case] I ben one of 'em my
own se[l] [ '] f. Well, sah, my ole
man -- dat's my husban' --
he was lovin' an' kind to
me -- [jus] jist as kind as you
is to yo' own wife. An' we
had chil'en -- seven chil'en
-- & we [loved] [ loved] dem chil'en
jist de same as you loves
yo' chil'en. Dey was black,
but de Lord can't make
no chil'en so black but
what dey mother loves 'em
an' wouldn't give 'em up, no,
-6-
not for anything dat's in
dis whole world. ["] Well, sah, I was raised
in ole Fo'ginny, but my
mother she was raised in
Maryland; an' my souls!
she was turrible when she'd
git started! My [ [unclear: lawd] ]
lan'! but she'd make de
fur fly! When she'd git
into dem tantrums, she[d]
always had one word dat
she said. She'd straighten
herse'f up & put her fists
in her hips & say, "I want
you to understan[ '] [d] dat[illeg.]
[I ain't no houn'-dog mash;]
-7-
[ I wa'nt bawn in de mash to be fool' by trash!]
[to be trod on by common
trash!] I's one o' de ole
Blue Hen's Chickens, I
is!" -- 'case you see, dat's
what folks dat's bawn
in Maryland calls dey-
selves, an' dey's proud of
it. Well dat was her
word. I don't ever for-
git it, [ becase] she said it so much,
an' becase she said it one
day when my little Henry
tore his wris', awful, [a] n'
most busted his head,
right up at [the] [ de] top of his
forehead, an' de niggers
-8-
didn't fly aroun[ '] [d] fas'
enough to 'tend to him.
An' when dey talk[ '] [ed] back
at her, she up an' she
says, "Look-a-heah!"
[illeg.]
[ she says, "I want you niggers to understan']
[illeg.]
[ dat I wa'nt bawn in de mash to be fool' by]
trash! -- I's one o' de
ole Blue Hen's Chickens,
I is!" an' den she clar'
dat kitchen an' bandage'
up de chile hers['] e'f. So I [ says dat word, too, when I's riled.] "Well, bymeby my ole
-9-
mistis say she's broke, an'
she got to sell all de nig-
gers on de place. An'
when I heah dat dey gwyne
to sell us all off at oction
in Richmon', O de good
[God] [ gracious] I know what dat
mean!["] [Aunt Rachel had
gradually risen, while
she warmed to her sub-
ject, & now she towered
above us, [huge ∧] black
against the stars.]
["] Dey put chains on
us an' put us on a stan'
-10-
as high as dis poach --
twenty foot high -- an
all de people stood a-
roun' -- crowds an crowds.
An' dey'd come up dah
an' ['zamine] [ look at] us all roun[ '] [d] ,
an' squeeze our arm, an'
make us git up an' walk,
an' den say, "Dis one too
ole," or "Dis one lame," or
"Dis one don't 'mount to
much." An' dey sole my
ole man, an' took him
away, an' dey begin to sell
my chil'en an' take dem
away, an' I begin to cry;
-11-
an' de man say "Shet
up yo' darn blubberins,"
an hit me on de mouf
wid his han'. An' when
de las' one was gone but
my little Henry, I grab[ '] [bed]
him clos[e] [ t] up to my breas',
so, an' I ris up an' says,
"You shan't take him a-
way[ !"] I says; "I'll kill de
man dat tetches him!"
[ I says.] But my little Henry whis-
per an' say, "I [gy] gwyne
to run away, an' den I
work an' buy yo' freedom."
O, bless de chile, [it mos']
-12-
[broke my heart, he so]
[ he always so] good. [ But] dey got him --
dey got him, de men
did -- but I took & tear
[ [unclear: de cloes most] ] [ de cloes] mos' off
of 'em an' beat 'em over
de head wid my chain;
an' dey give it to me, too,
but I didn't min[d] [ e] [[ mine] ] dat. ["] Well, dah was my ole
man gone, an' all my
chil'en[ ,] [ -- ] all my seven
chil'en -- an' six of 'em
I hain't set eyes on agin
to dis day[ ,] [ -- ] an' dats twenty-
two year[s] ago las' Easter.
-13-
De man dat bought me
b'long[ '] [ed] in [ [unclear: Norfolk] ]
Newbern, an' he took me
dah. Well, bymeby de
years roll on [∧ de]
an' de waw come. My
marster he was a Confedrit
Colonel, an' I was his
family's cook. So when
de Unions took dat town,
dey all run away an'
lef' me all by myse[l] [ '] f
wid de other niggers in
dat mon'sus big house.
So de big Union officers
move in dah an' dey
-14-
ask me would I cook
for dem[,] [ .] [for money.]
"Lord bless you," says
[illeg.][ I, "dat's what[s] I's for."] ["] Dey wa'[ nt] [ [unclear: nt] ] no small-
fry officers, mine you,
dey was de biggest dey is;
an' [ de] way dey made dem so[ [unclear: g] ] [ j] ers
mosey roun'! [Well I
thinks] De Gen'l he tole
me to boss dat kitchen;
an' he say[s] [ ,] [ '] if anybody
come[s] meddlin' wid you,
you jist [come an tell me;] [ make 'em walk chalk;]
don't you be afeard,[ '] he say,
[ '] you's 'mong frens, now.'
-15-
[ ] Well, I thinks to myself,
if my little Henry ever
[got an] [ got] a chance to run
away, he'd ma[ [unclear: d] ] [ k] e to de
Norf, o'course. So one
day I comes in dah whah
de big officers was, in
de parlor, an' I drops a
kurtchy, so, an' I [says,
to de Gen'l, says I,] [ up an'] tole 'em 'bout my Henry,
dey a listenin' [ to my troubles] [jus] jist de
same as if I was white [ folks;] ;
an' I says, "What I come
for is [ becase] [dat] if he got away
& got up Norf whah you
-16-
gemmen comes from,
you might a seen him,
maybe, [∧] [ an'] could tell me so
as I could fine him agin;
[ he was very little, an'] he had a sk-yar on his lef'
wris', an' at de top of his
forehead." Den dey look
mournful, & de Gen'l say,
"How long sence you los' [him]
him?" an' I say "Thirteen
year." Den de Gen'l say,
"He wouldn't be little no mo',
now -- he's a man!" ["] [ [] I never thought [ [unclear: o] ] o' dat
[ [unclear: befor] ] befo'! He was only
dat little feller to me, yit.
I never thought 'bout him
-17-
growin' up an' bein' big.
[ But I see it den.] None o' de gemmen had
run acrost him, so dey
couldn't do nothin' for me.
[[ ] ] But all dat time, do' I
didn't know it, my Henry
was run off to de Norf,
years & years, an' he was
a barber, too, an' worked
for hisse'f. An[ '] [d] bymeby
when de waw come, he
ups an' he says, "I's done
barberin," he says; "I's
gwyne to fine my ole
mammy, less'n she's
dead." So he sole out an'
went to whah dey was re-
-18-
cruitin', an' hired hisse'f
out to de Colonel for
his servant; an' den he
went all froo de battles
everywhah, huntin' for
his ole mammy; yes in-
deedy, he'd hire to fust
one officer an' den an-
other, tell he'd ransacked
de whole Souf -- but
you see I didn't know
nuffin' 'bout dis. How
[could I know it.] [ was I gwyne to know it?]
["] Well, one night, we
had a big sojer ball -- de sojers dah at New-
-19-
bern was always havin'
balls an' carryin' on.
Dey had 'em in my kitch-
en, heaps o' times, 'case
it was so big. Mine you,
[I didn't]
I was down on sich doins;
becase my place was wid
de officers, an' it rasp'
me to have [ dem] common
sojers cavortin' roun'
my kitchen like dat.
But I [ [unclear: all] ] always stood
aroun' an' kep' things
straight, I did; an' some-
times dey'd git my dander
up, an' den I'd make 'em
-20-
clar dat kitchen, mine
I tell you! ["] Well, one night -- it
was a Friday night [ [unclear: d] ]
-- dey comes a whole
plattoon [fr] f'm a nigger
ridgment dat was on
guard at de house -- de
house was headquarters,
you know -- an' den I
was jist a bilin'! [ Mad? [Well honey] I was jist a boomin'!] I
swelled aroun', an' swelled
aroun', -- I jist was [ a] itchin'
for 'em to do somefin'
for to start me. An' dey
was a waltzin' an' a dan-
-21-
cin'! -- my! but dey was
havin' a time! -- an' I
jist a swellin' an' a swellin'
up! Pooty soon, 'long
comes [ sich a] [de] spruce[st] young
nigger a-sailin' down
de room wid a yaller
wench roun' de wais';
an' roun' an' roun' an'
roun' dey went, [ enough] ['nuff] to
make a body drunk to
look at 'em; an' when
dey got abreas' o' me,
dey went to kin' o' balan-
cin' aroun', fust on one
leg an' den on tother, an'
-22-
smilin' at my big red
turban, [ an' makin' fun',] an' I [ ups an'] says, "Git along wid you! -- rub-
bage!" De young man's
face kin' o' changed, all
of a sudden, for 'bout
a second, but den he went
to smilin' agin same
as he was befo'. Well, 'bout
dis time, in comes some
niggers dat played mu-
sic an' b'long' to de ban',
an dey never could git
along widout puttin'
on airs. An' de very
fust air dey put on dat
-23-
night, I lit into 'em!
Dey laughed, an' dat
made me wuss. De
res' o' de niggers got to
laughin[ '] [g] , an' den my
soul alive but I was
hot! My eye was jist
a blazin[ '] [g] ! I jist straight-
ened myself up, so[ ,] --
jist as I [am] [ is] now[ ,] --
plum to de ceilin', mos'[ ,]
[ -- ] an' [ I digs my fists into my hips, an'] I says, " Look-a-
heah!" I says, "I want you
niggers to understan'
[ [unclear: dat I ain't no houn'] ]
[ dat I wa'nt bawn in de mash to be fool']
-24-
[ [unclear: dog mash to be trod
on by cousins o ] ] [[ by] ] [unclear: trash] [ by trash!] I's one o' de ole Blue
Hen's Chickens, I is!"
[ -- ] an' den I see dat young
man stan' a-starin' an'
stiff, [like] lookin' kin' o'
up at de ceilin' like
he fogot somefin', an'
couldn't 'member it no
mo'. Well[ ,] I jist march'
on dem niggers[ ,] -- so,[ -- ]
lookin[ '] [g] like a Gen'l[ ,] [[ a goin into battle -- ] ]
an' dey jist cave' away
befo' me an' out at de
do'. An' as dis young
-25-
man [ was a goin'] [went] out, I heah
him say to another nig-
ger, "Jim," he says, "you
go 'long an' tell de Cap'n
I be on han' 'bout eight
o'clock in de mawnin';
dey's somefin on my
mine," he says; "I don't
sleep no mo' dis night.[']
You go 'long," he says,
"an' leave me by my own
se'f." ["] Dis was 'bout one
o'clock in de mawnin'.
Well, 'bout seven I was
up an' on han', gittin'[illeg.] de
-26-
officers' breakfast. I
was a[ -] stoopin' down by
de stove[ ,] -- jist so[ ,] [ -- ] same
as if yo' foot was de
stove[ ,] -- an' I'd opened
de stove do' wid my
right han', -- so, pushin'
it back, jist as I pushes
yo' foot[ ,] -- an' I'd jist
got de pan o' hot biscuits
in my han' an' was 'bout
to raise up, when I see
a black face come
aroun' under [my] mine,
an' de eyes a[ -] lookin' up
-27-
into mine, jist as I'[ s] [m] a
lookin' up clost under
yo' face now[ ;] [ -- ] an' I
jist stopped right dah, an'
never budged![ -- ] jist gazed,
an' gazed,[ -- ] so[ ;] [ -- ] an' de
pan begin to tremble,
an' all of a sudden I
knowed! De pan
drop' on de flo' an' I
grab his lef' han' an'
shove back his sleeve[ ,]
-- jist so, as I'[ s] [m] doin'
to you[ ,] -- an' den I [went]
-28-
[ goes] for his forehead an'
push de hair back[ ,]
[ -- ] so[ ,] [ -- ] an' "Boy!" I says,
"if you ain't my Henry,
what is you doin' wid
dis welt on yo' wris'
an' dat sk-yar on yo'
forehead![ -- ] de Lord God
[of] ob Heaven be praise',
I got my own agin!"
-29-
"O, no, [ Mr. C.,] I ain't had no
trouble. An' no joy!"
Mark Twain.
