Where we're at and how we got there.

"Asia Times" columnist Chan Akya sums up how we got where we got:

With its productive capacity virtually eliminated, the US became merely a haven for a bunch of property savants buying and selling an ever-expanding pool of assets with questionable intrinsic value, all the while borrowing from Asian investors to actually fund their living expenses.

NEWS FLASH !!! REPUBLICAN DENIES BLAME !!! DOG BITES MAN !!!

no one could've anticipated

that people would be greedy and irresponsible

.

a couple brief words about leverage. a good way of thinking about leverage is in context of a 10% adverse market move, a not uncommon occurrence. ex. XYZ Corp. drops from $10 to $9. ...with no leverage you've just lost 10% of your investment. with 2 to 1 leverage you've lost 20%, with 10 to 1 leverage you are wiped out, kaput, finito. some units within the companies that are failing were leveraged as high as 33 to 1. in unregulated derivatives such as credit default swaps whose underlying assets were mysteries wrapped in enigmas frosted with a thick opaque layer of "who cares?". that's what self-regulation gets ya. here's a cute little exchange that's making the rounds:

CONVERSATION OF THE DAY....Between Rahul Dilip Shah and Shannon Mooney, a pair of analysts at the credit rating agency Standard & Poor's, chatting via IM back in 2007:
RDS: btw: that deal is ridiculous
SM: I know right ... model def does not capture half of the risk
RDS: we should not be rating it
SM: we rate every deal
SM: it could be structured by cows and we would rate it

and another:

....Mr. Waxman’s committee also cited an internal e-mail exchange between [Frank] Raiter, who had been asked to rate a collateralized debt obligation called “Pinstripe,” and Richard Gugliada, an S.& P. managing director. Mr. Raiter had requested highly detailed data about each individual loan, known as loan level tapes, to assess the creditworthiness of the loans in the security, but Mr. Gugliada wrote: “Any request for loan level tapes is totally unreasonable!!! It is your responsibility to provide those credit estimates and your responsibility to devise some method for doing so.”
Mr. Raiter responded: “This is the most amazing memo I have ever received in my business career.”

quotes via Drum
pic

what? these old rags?

.

Murica needs ta know sarah; you be wearin' your own underpants or ya got on some a those fancy $300 campaign underpants?

today on the campaign trail

...and so Barack Obama turns around, looks William Ayers in the eye, and says "I may not know a lot about smallpox, but I can tell you one thing - that's a lot of dead Injuns."

But let me get serious for a moment. This election is far from over, my friends, this election is far far from over.

Quite far from over.

FAR FROM OVER! FAR FROM OVER! FAR FROM OVER! FAR FROM OVER! FAR FROM OVER!

As a matter of fact, you could say that I have Senator Obama right where I want him. Today, rather than respond to charges that he has maliciously slandered Joe the Plumber, Barack Obama has chosen to run away on a little jaunt to Hawaii. I'll just bet that Joe the Plumber wishes he could afford a Hawaii vacation.

So would Joe the Senator and Joe the Lumberjack.

SO WOULD WE! SO WOULD WE! SO WOULD WE! SO WOULD WE! SO WOULD WE! SO WOULD WE!

But that's not the worst of it, my friends, not by a long shot. Barack Obama is running off to Hawaii in order to see a white woman.

NOOO! NOOO! NOOO! NOOO! KILL HIM! NOOO! NOOO! NOOO! NOOO! NOOO! NOOO! NOOO!

Pssst, John, you're getting them too worked up. You need to tell these people that he's going to Hawaii to be with his grandmother.

Holy cow! His grandmother!

My friends, Senator Lieberman has just informed me that it's even worse than I thought...

Zappaty Doo Dah

Ara Rubyan debuts at The American Street


political, cartoons,political cartoons, parody, satire, Republicans, GOP, Iraq, War, Theocracy, Bush, Cheney, comics, comic strips, McCain,webcomic,Palin,Sarah Palin

Zencomix

great news for republicans, top of the charts at Google News

Expensive Wardrobe Goes Against McCain-Palin Story Line Washington Post - 2 hours ago Fashion Columnist Robin Givhan asks how a campaign can portray Gov. Sarah Palin as a no-frills hockey mom while spending a jaw-dropping sum at Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue and Barneys to outfit her.
Palin's Spending Spree Sheds Light on Campaign's Priorities ABC News
Shop, baby, shop? GOP spent $150K on Palin clothes The Associated Press

pic

"this is good. have they shown the part where she has her young lover murder her husband? because that is so wicked." "no dude, I don't think we're there yet."

sent this off to son-in-law Mike:

hey Mike, is this the gal who's gonna go through the budget line by line and save us a pile of money? if you see me in the obits tomorrow, it's because I died laughing. steve

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1008/14805.html

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and speaking of dying and laughing, I saw a fake tombstone in a store window today. said, "I told you I was sick"

.

Wait, there's more! File this under lipstick on a capitalist pig.

Aside from the $150,000 wardrobe upgrade, the RNC is picking up the tab for Sarah to have a traveling makeup artist. And not just any old makeup artist, either - it's Amy Strozzi, head makeup person from 'So You Think You Can Dance'. Cost for September, $13,200.

Joe called. He wants his fifty dollar campaign contribution back.

gerson asks the burning question

is Obama a terrorist or is Obama a 'reformed' terrorist by way of opportunism? "There is evidence for both views," said the evenhanded gerson evenhandedly with both hands even.

and again with the fucking Democratic "overreach". this seems to rank right up there with 'death by 10,000 spiders' in republican lore. "don't be scared Billy," said Mother, "look, there's no Democratic overreach under your bed." but wise Father Republican says, "mark my words son, there will be, so you'd better prepare to be scared. and plot your pushback, and pre-celebrate your victory and resurgence."

mikey ends his screed with this, "But maybe only a passionate, committed, courageous moderate could succeed. Isn't that ironic."

like a good moderate, I'll give you a passionate, committed and courageous 'maybe' on that one good buddy. there's evidence for all views, so how can I choose? plus like most of mike's audience I believeth not in evidence, so what the fuck is he talking about? just point to the view I should have faith in, that I can handle.
Michael Gerson has a column in the WPost. Isn't that ironic.
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Loanership Society

Ain't it funny how time just slips away. The past 10 days sort of melted away while I tried taking care of some health issues, maintenance issues, etc.

I haven't had time to draw as much as I'd like. I found this cartoon in one of the many piles, I think it's from 2005.

The good news is I'm feeling better for the last leg of this election. Coming Soon: Multi panel Sarah Palin FREAK OUT! with bonus Zappadan teaser.

Toon in tomorrow...

Thrift Shop?

RNC is going to donate Sarah's $150K campaign wardrobe to "charity" after the election. Who would want that moose-cootie infested crap 'cept maybe homeless transvestites or crackhead pervs who want to sniff her undies?

Joe wept

Some people may get a chuckle out of Sarah the Clotheshorse and her RNC funded $150,000 shopping spree at Saks and Neiman. But not me, cause I know how important appearance can be when you're out in the public eye. Where is Mister Blackwell when we really need him? He would have been the first to tell you that you just can't inspire confidence when you "look like a 1940's fashion editor for the Farmer's Almanac". But I'm curious... Exactly how did that conversation go? Was it "For sure, Johnny Mac, I'll be your vice, but I'm going to need some new duds." Or was it "We need to put some lipstick on this pig." Whatever. Like spokesman Tracey Schmitt says, "With all of the important issues facing the country right no, it’s remarkable that we’re spending time talking about pantsuits and blouses. It was always the intent that the clothing go to a charitable purpose after the campaign."

earth to everyone who tacks this phrase on the end ...

..."such a strategy could make governing all but impossible." -Sullivan

this current batch of republicans don't give a flying fuck in a rat's ass about governing, it's 100% politics with ideology sprinkles. where the hell have you been for eight years?

Political Reality

If the dog-catcher ain't catching any dogs, you elect a new dog-catcher. The people electing him may not be the most patriotic, God-fearing, hardworking people in America, but they still want a dog-catcher who catches dogs.

FUCK OFF !!

.
breaking ...evil lazy, pie-crazy Sandy Underpants tells his twelve readers to fuck off

no I didn't

of course you did

I didn't mean it that way, it was taken out of context

bullshit

I walked into a trap

you're flat out nuts dude

no you are. my opponent has said much worse

what opponent, what the hell are you talking about?

I'm proud of my campaign


ps. captain obvious here: why is anyone expecting mccain to adhere to the 84 mil campaign limit? I mean c'mon, look who we're talkin' about, mister whatever it takes, fully justified.
.

stuff 'n things, tit free

didja ever hear someone talk about a handful of something that don't fit in the hand. like 'a handful of people'. I want to slap them. SMACK! there, that was a handful of people.



seems a bit like the republicans are already celebrating a successful pushback and rebirth from a Democratic overreach that hasn't happened yet. because, you know, time exists.
um howzabout we play out the fucking hand redouchecans.
the r's sure do a dumpster full of bluffing. the smart move whould be to call them every time until we had all their money and pride. I can't remember a hand they haven't overplayed. the surge, need I say more? a pair of queens and they're biddin' like they have two pair. of queens. christ on a cracker, if the surge didn't add an inch in length and girth, you still got some comin' mister. best thing ta happen since god got lonely. you like ice cream? I know, who don't? the surge is a lifetime of free ice cream, the best you've ever eaten. plus sex with movie stars, or a Bill Ayers lynching party, your choice.

two old men, lazy day, park bench: "hey grumpy, ya get any on the side lately?" "Dang, it's been so long, I didn't know they'd moved it."

two old men, walk in the park: "sure looks nice out." "yup, looks so nice out, think I'll leave it out all day."

it was a miscommunication, the meek will inherit the afterbirth. -god
.

By way of explanation... regular readers are going to see the endorsement piece below and think, WTF, we know where you stand on the election. But like a lot of blogs, The Aristocrats gets day to day traffic from people who may never return. I figured, maybe this will be read by a dozen strangers, and to one or two of them my piece may give them food for thought. Every little bit helps.

My endorsement

"I just want to button this up because the Drive-Bys had a tizzy over my allegation that his nomination was about race. Well, let me say it louder, and let me say it even more plainly. It was totally about race! The Powell endorsement is totally about race." - Rush Limbaugh, 10/20 "Mark my words. It will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is looking. We're about to elect a brilliant 47-year-old senator president of the United States of America. Remember I said it standing here, if you don't remember anything else I said. Watch, we're going to going to have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy." - Joe Biden, 10/19 These were the two major talking points yesterday for the right-wing media, an embarrassment of riches for the neocons after a month spent on the fruitless topics of Bill Ayers and ACORN. The first point, of course, is nonsense, the sort of spiel you expect from the right-wing media elite who, while not racist themselves, are willing to enlist the support of racists as a means to their ends. (In reality, Rush and Sean would be appalled at the thought of sharing a beer with people that buy into their propaganda). Chris Mathews did a nice job of dismissing Limbaugh by saying [I paraphrase] "I guess Rush is just supporting McCain because he's white." The second point deserves a little more scrutiny because, I'm sorry to say, it's absolutely true. If there is any interest out there who wants to make a move on the U.S., there is no better time to do it than during the early months of a new administration. History shows this to be verifiably true. Remember back, if you will, to the the early days of the last new administration. Six months and three weeks into the Bush administration, there was a PDB with the ominous heading of 'Bin Laden Determined to Strike in US'. Before that, there had many similar warnings, even before the administration took office. Bush was disinterested, and the rest is history. Bush failed the test. You can bet your boots that neither McCain or Obama would make that particular mistake again. Problem is, tactically speaking, history does not repeat itself. Now listen to the arrogance of John McCain reacting to Biden's statement. "The next president won't have time to get used to the office. We face many challenges here at home, and many enemies abroad in this dangerous world. Just last night, Senator Biden guaranteed that if Senator Obama is elected, we will have an international crisis to test America's new president. We don't want a president who invites testing from the world at a time when our economy is in crisis and Americans are already fighting in two wars." John McCain doesn't get it. John McCain assumes that he won't have to 'get used to the office' by virtue of his having wanted it for so long. John McCain thinks Joe Biden was giving him a compliment, insinuating that America won't be tested, if only he's elected president. John McCain is so vain, he doesn't think this song is about him. John McCain ignored Joe Biden's closing words on the 'testing' matter, which were "They're going to find out this guys got steel in his spine." The only reasonable, credible response from John McCain, which would have been "I too expect to be tested, and when that time comes, I will be ready and steadfast." Anything else is arrogant and dangerous, the words of a man who will get quickly be played for a sucker, and in the process endanger us all. I hereby endorse Barack Obama for president. He still has the sense and grounding to pay attention.

Belacqua is stoned again.

Ghoorgie!!

sucking on shit, the broken hymns of the Heavenly Hosts did engulf me as they sang praises to our fall into idealized savagery in our battle against the forces of moral relativism; and in the spinning light I saw the incinerated face of a toddler raised up on high as a symbol of Columbia’s loving wrath while the Heavenly Hosts sung praises to the child’s raped and broken mother, praising her as our Virgin of Freedom while Virtue’s phosphorescent torch shone its glory on the mass graves and blood-begrimed prison cells; and the Heavenly Hosts proclaimed napalm empire’s Viagra without which its flaccidity would cower behind its alabaster codpiece; and the furred angels sang and enfolded me in their wings that reeked of the rotted dead and the acrid stench of rubble shattered and turned to dust as the angels rose heavenward singing your name and praising you as the Burning Bush that would spread its flame over the face of the earth even as they granted you remission of your sins through the intercession of Shock and Awe…


and I slept the sleep of the brain dead

…or whatever.

…i

"Hello? General Petraeus? This is John McCain." "Oh, hi Senator. What can I do for you?" "Nothing, General, not a thing. Can't a Senator just call up an old pal to say hello?" "You're not really an old pal, Senator, and I'm really kind of busy at the moment..." "Not a pal? Who visited you time after time in Iraq when they had a few days off? Why, that was me, John McCain. You know, I never visited General Powell in Iraq... Although, God knows, if I had it all to do over again..." "You're bummed out about the Powell endorsement, aren't you?" "John McCain doesn't get bummed out. John McCain spent five and a half years vowing never to be bummed out again. John McCain has the endorsement of hundreds of former Generals and Admirals, and is not about to be bummed out by the defection of one chucklehead, no way, no how." "Well, good. I'm glad to hear you're in good spirits." "It's just that John McCain would like to ask one very small favor from the man he supported when things were shaky, and the smell of defeat hung thickly in the air." "Please don't ask." "You know it's just a couple of weeks until election day..." "Please don't ask." "...and I was asking myself, just who is the most famous general in the whole wide world?" "Please don't ask." "It's certainly not Colin Powell, not anymore. No, the single most exalted General of our times would be the one who took a hopeless situation in Iraq, and single-handedly..." "Senator McCain, as an active duty soldier, I simply cannot endorse a candidate. It's forbidden. So don't ask." "Me ask you for an endorsement? Heaven forbid. As you might know, I'm an old military man myself, I know the rules. Still, I was thinking maybe you could spare a wink and a nod..." "A wink and a nod?" "Oh, you know, if someone were to ask you about the presidential race, you could say the same thing you just told me - 'I cannot endorse John McCain for president because it would be inappropriate.' And then maybe wink at the camera." "What camera?" "Well, the campaign has a crew coming down to your office a little later this afternoon, and I thought..." "Call them off, McCain. Immediately." "It would just take a few minutes, and they're already on their..." "Immediately." "Oh... Okay... Sorry to bother you at work, General." "That's okay, Senator. Now, goodbye. And good luck." "Good luck? Thanks, General, I'll take that as an implied endorsement."

Iraqi Puppy Adopted by Soldier

Al Queda in Iraq has successfully disguised their Top Lieutenant, Second in Command Rasheed "Ratchet" al Purinahm, as a puppy bound for Minnesota.

Sgt. Gwen Beberg of Minneapolis and an online petition signed by tens of thousands are helping Ratchet establish a terrorist cell in America's Heartland.

Beberg's congressman, D- Muslim Keith Ellison, was also instrumental in paving the way for Al Queda in Iraq's entry into the USA.

Clip Art and Used Paperback Discuss the Colin Powell Endorsment of Obama

Hello, McFly! Barack Hussein Osama is Black! Focus, people, focus!









Obama isn't as dark as Cynthia McKinney, so naturally Powell is endorsing that one.












Among them the casual Yankees and the poor whites and even the southerners who had lived for a while in the north, who believed aloud that it was an anonyomous negro crime committed not by a negro but by Negro and who knew, believed, and hoped that she had been ravished too: at least once before her throat was cut and at least once afterward.







Take The Skinheads Bowling, take them bowling.

King of Bitches, 1922-2008

I was saddened to read this morning about the death of Mr. Blackwell, the self-proclaimed 'worst bitch in the world'. The man was an American original, and like Dracula, I thought he would be around long after I was dust. I remember seeing him as a youngster when my mother would have on her afternoon shows - Mike Douglas, Merv Griffin - and Mr. Blackwell would be there, immaculately dressed, uttering bitchy cruelties about the rich and famous of the day. The host and guest would laugh heartily, all the while pretending to be shocked, shocked. And although I didn't understand all of the subtext, their reaction was a revelation to me. Mr. Blackwell rose from his youth as a punk thief and prostitute to become a fringe actor in Hollywood, and then went on to work as a fashion designer. He claimed to have created the first designer jeans for women, and while history won't verify this, his creation of the 'Worst Dressed List' in the early sixties is beyond doubt. That creation is as responsible as anything for the celebration of the bad and the inane in the world. Without Mr. Blackwell, there surely would be no John Waters. I've written about Mr. Blackwell - or rather as him - a number of times; popping up at a Scott McClellan press conference to criticize the White House Christmas tree, writing a column about Dick Cheney's vulgar fashion statement at a ceremony for the liberation of Auschwitz, and expressing his disappointment of Michael Jackson's choice of proper attire for a courtroom, a piece that I'll reprint below as I bid the bitch adieu. Michael Jackson's Fashion Disaster Mr. Blackwell Oh, my. I am saddened. Almost beyond speaking. But not quite. Even though his world may be crumbling in a thousand small ways, there is one compliment that I have always been willing to hand to the Man in the Mirror. He always knows how to dress. Dazzling, at times, dramatic at others, or just ready to dance his heart out, Michael does have the look, and oh how he flaunts it. He knows that real stars are born and not made, dressed rather than simply clothed. The genius behind 'Dancing Machine' is one of the few people on earth that I know who can still wear a waistcoat with sufficient dignity. So I was crushed, Michael, to see you in pajama bottoms tonight. I must say, you reminded me of Dorothy Lamour - not a good thing, not a look for a still vibrant young pop singer such as yourself. A sarong, I think you could have pulled that off, but a pajama bottom, no no no no no no no. You went outside without your makeup, didn't you? It's not a wise decision, Michael. I disagree with those who say you look like a rotting corpse, but even the queen of style, Elizabeth Taylor, applied fresh lipstick on the night she accidentally inhaled a turkey leg at the Richard Burton Funeral ball and had to be wheeled out with her dress above her knees. Michael - please phone me. AND DO NOT USE THOSE NEGRO BODYGUARDS. Was that a tie clasp? Shudder. Everybody, and I mean everybody, is using Polynesians these days, and we do so count on you to show us a stylish way to suffer.

via balloon-juice

Two Chickens In Every Pot

What was that old joke? Let me think. Something over the bed and something under. Yeah, now it comes back like a poltergeist.

"What did they call that sail-like rigging above old beds?

"
"A canopy!"

"No, that was UNDER the bed..."

Bada-bing! Haw-haw. Jehovah's Witnesses' idea of risque humor, "That was UNDER the bed." Makes me think of the expression "Ain't got a pot to piss in."

Now, that's pretty damn poor, but it still took me a while to figure it out.

See, grandma had a pot to piss in, white enamel coated it was, with a matching lid, kinda like its blue enamel New England cousin that cooked lobsters, and she kept it under the bed. Disgusting, yes, but better than a trip to the outhouse in winter.

Myself, I grew up a little better. I seem yo remember we had a pot to piss in until I was about 5 years old. Then Joe and his plumber friends came over and rigged up some pipes, first cutting a space into the living room, then abruptlydismantling all that when Mom had a shit fit, cutting into the master bedroom instead and - PRESTO! - our stinky outhouse was immediately obsolete, along with that recycled Sears catalog on its ledge and all those lurid good better best brasierre pages near the front pages of it. I digress. The outhouse remained for a year or two, vestigially filling a niche for those moments like when you're out gathering eggs and couldn't quite make it to the house.

Then, one day it happened, like Puff the Magic Dragon it was gone - though the grass was always greener there, and the mulberry trees nearby fruited magnificently for years to come in a silent tribute to its ecological contribution.

So that expression, "Ain't got a pot to piss in" never made much sense to me. If you got a toilet, you don't need a pot to piss in. If you're outdoors, you don't need one either. All you have to do is find a tree or wander out into the corn field.

October

Somewhere on the existential continuum

Where Emily intersects Kübler-Ross

it's fun to act amazed when someone calls you from a cell phone. "oh, you're on the road? you've got one of those portable phones, that is so cool." then listen to the silence. works good for me because I'm a dinosaur by inclination, a landline only guy. but I'm thinking it might be even funnier if the joker was himself using a cell. it's key to say 'portable' I think, or 'carphone' if appropriate. it sounds wrong, but also right. and people love hearing that they're cool, even if they haven't earned it. "hey drywall, that's cool." I had a carphone back when I was RealtorSandy, 'bout as big as an overnight bag.

*

slideshow from Red White and Pie here

**

Job the Plumber

secret constituency

One senior congressional Democrat mused about prejudice among his own supporters. “They’ve all got one black friend,” he said, “and they won’t stop talking about their black friend.”

“That’s Obama,” he said. - from Politico

As Sandy notes below, and I've mentioned previously, this is a real phenomenon, one that's probably not being picked up much by the pollsters. Lets hope so.

stolen from Sullivan

"So a canvasser goes to a woman's door in Washington, Pennsylvania. Knocks. Woman answers. Knocker asks who she's planning to vote for. She isn't sure, has to ask her husband who she's voting for. Husband is off in another room watching some game. Canvasser hears him yell back, "We're votin' for the n***er!"
Woman turns back to canvasser, and says brightly and matter of factly: "We're voting for the n***er.""

I heard a similar story a while back from Mark Hoback

shorter CDS

a credit default swap
is a certificate of authenticity

for a pet rock

issued by Charles Ponzi
.

"Ponzi spent the last years of his life in poverty. He had a stroke in 1948, and died in a charity hospital in Rio de Janeiro on January 18, 1949. His life had been characterized by one great moment of glory surrounded by outlandish, wild ventures which inevitably lead to his downfall. In the charity hospital, Ponzi granted one last interview to an American reporter, and commented about the wild ride he had given Bostonians: "Even if they never got anything for it, it was cheap at that price. Without malice aforethought I had given them the best show that was ever staged in their territory since the landing of the Pilgrims! It was easily worth fifteen million bucks to watch me put the thing over.""
.

Hey, Sarah, where'd you get that wink form?

Robin Givhan on the rules of engagement.

friday tit blogging

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I do it every time ...

after I rinse out my colander

I turn it upsidedown in the sink so it can drain

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Levi Stubbles (June 6, 1936 - October 17, 2008)

...better known by the stage name, Levi Stubbs.



Great name, great group, great memories - thank you Mr. Stubbs. Check him out as the voice of Audrey II in Little Shop Of Horrors.

Blink 182

Splendid Marbles


political, cartoons,political cartoons, parody, satire, Republicans, GOP, Iraq, War, Theocracy, Bush, Cheney, comics, comic strips, McCain,webcomic,Palin,Sarah Palin

Zencomix

Fafblog funny

"FACT! Barack Obama and sixties radical Bill Ayers were both associated with the Chicago Annenberg Challenge, a radical education foundation whose radical goal is to radically educate black children by educating them... while they are still black."

Amusing

Amusing, amidst all this plumber talk, that Letterman would ask McCain about kis relationship with G. Gordon Liddy - one of Nixon's infamous White House Plumbers!