A little bit of self-indulgence

To the post-modern British patriot who found this post and the attendant comment thread so reactionary and objectionable, might I point to the following from the New York Times (in a great story about the athletic achievements of team GB):

'Britain, which will host the Summer Games in 2012, may not be able to stage a no-expense-spared Olympics the way China has. The week before the opening ceremony, Tessa Jowell, Britain’s minister for the Olympics, said that the Bird’s Nest in Beijing would be the last “iconic” Olympic stadium. Organizers must already be wondering how to follow Beijing’s cast-of-thousands opening ceremony; re-forming the Beatles is not an option.' (the rest...)

So what I was trying to put forth via heavy handed parody seems to be in line with the thinking of the organizers and the government. How odd.

Now stop bothering with this petty point scoring by me and read the much more mature post on energy below. Thank you.

2012 fireworks cache, Stratford East

PS: As the kids (don't) say, Hhar me now, bo, selecta, swallow back, holler, big up ya self, everything that I in, coming at ya like Cleopatra, come in a couple of bars, recognize, represent, keep it real, you gotta check ya self before ya wreck ya self, swallow back... and hello.

Driller Killer

Setting aside general questions as to the desirability or feasibility of energy independence (topics I hope to waffle about at a later date) I have been alternating between bouts of frustration and fits of the giggles every time I hear a candidate or interest group advocate for increased oil exploration and drilling in the United States as the way past high energy prices.

Even if we ignore the time it will take to bring any oil to gas stations (about 10 years), the shortage of drilling rigs, and the shortage of refineries, the minuscule savings per gallon the experts project will be eaten up by general inflation, never mind fluctuations in the oil market. The current best guess is a savings of 10c a gallon when the oil comes online a decade from now. That's about 3% of today's price per gallon at the gas station down the street from where I sit ($3.64). Ten years ago in August 1998 the average national price per gallon was $1.06. In the past decade therefore, the price of gas has more than doubled, going up by about 240%. That dime a gallon the oil companies promise you'll save if they are allowed to drill offshore and in ANWAR? If the next decade follows the same sort of price trends the past decade did, all that drilling, all those subsidies, and all that environmental damage would mean that prices would only climb by 237% rather than the 240% of the past decade. What a savings!!!

Lets be fair and assume that the price rise over the decade would be much less steep. Maybe T Boone Pickens strapped a windmill to a Mobil station or something, and gas only went up by 100%. Again, all this drilling would only mean that you'd be a mere 97% worse off at the pump. Unless oil and other prices increase by a factor of less than 3% of today's prices over the course of the next decade, additional drilling in sensitive locations will not lower prices, or even do much to arrest price increases. It will however allow oil companies to pump more product as demand continues to grow world wide and therefore generate greater profits.

And therein lies the truth behind this push for drilling. Don't get me wrong: I'm a firm believer in open markets (I feel they are the key to global prosperity if they are truly open) and capitalism. In fact my belief in the market is one of the reasons I feel this push to extract more oil in the name of "energy independence" is a crock- when was the last time you heard of an oil company that sold its product exclusively to its home country? The hydrocarbon markets are global, so the idea of more domestic oil lessening our demand for "foreign" oil is a non-starter.

From a simplified market standpoint, being a net consumer of fuel puts one in a weak position. It would be far better for the United States to offset (and hopefully reduce) that fuel consumption by being a net exporter of clean energy technology. Why should we base our entire on economy on something we don't have a lot of (oil) rather than something we have a goodly amount of (tech expertise and R&D; spending)?

Of course, that's a topic for another post. But I did want to jot down my thoughts about drilling and the silliness that is currently prevailing in the election campaign around energy independence and pocket book issues.

The Arms Trade Reaches Out to Pinnepeds

Who is selling the tiny cannons to elephant seals? An anxious world demands answers.

Wetter, Crapper, Less Complete

Memo to:

Lord Sebastian Coe, Chairman
The London Organising Committee of the Olympic & Paralympic Games (LOCOPG 2012)
1 Churchill Place
Canary Wharf
London, E14 5LN
United Kingdom

9th August, 2008

Dear Lord Coe;

I watched the opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympiad last night with great interest. Upon its conclusion, I turned my thoughts to the opening ceremonies for London 2012 and it is to that element of your event I turn my attention now.

Unless you can persuade the Queen or one of her heirs to run around the roofline of the stadium suspended from a wire-fighting rig and then light the cauldron with a Dunhill desk lighter and one her own majestic rose-scented farts, you are screwed. I also think its a safe bet that the British version of the grand pageant of history as symbolized by dance, flash cards, fireworks, and percussion instruments will be a bit rubbish. The Chinese also had genuine Scottish bagpipers, which I imagine annoyed you to no end, as it makes your plans to include Chinese opera seem very derivative.

And that's before we consider the chance of rain.

Sincerely,
Wisdom Weasel
Floreat Expatria
17 Dungrumblin Towers
Rock-around-the-clock-land, Maine.

How Britain will light the Olympic cauldron, 2012

Health & Safety

From the BBC:

Youths warned over holes on beach
Police in Norfolk have traced two youths responsible for digging holes measuring 6ft (1.83m) on a beach and trying to conceal them.

The three pits were all found earlier this week on North Beach, Great Yarmouth.

Police had earlier warned that a person could die if they fell into one and were unable to get out (the rest of the story...)

Work on my tunnel to Australia (first attempted 1980 on the same stretch of coast referenced above* and continued intermittently at a variety of locations since) has been suspended, lest the Norfolk rozzers come-a-knocking.

The latest progress on my tunnel to Australia.
Never give up your boyhood dreams!

(*At Sea Palling)

Bloggers Came a-Visitin'

Hooray for Apes and Clocks! They brought the Brooklyn to the 04841 and were perfect ambassadors for the empire state. In return, we brought out the big guns:





How about that for a finale? A Sea Princess, a Sea Princess's deputy, Blackbeard, King Neptune, and the Weaselette? The Dalai Lama should be so honored.

Damn

The patent absurdity of grown men playing a kid's game for millions and millions of dollars just became a little less enjoyable for me with this news.

He was an egotistical, selfish, and whiny man who allowed his image to be coopted to lend a sheen of rebellion to a megalithic sports corporation. But we knew that, and somewhow he was still fun- and sometimes awe-inspiring- to watch. And now I have to endure seeing him sit next to Joe Torre yucking it up in the dugout (pinestripes or no, its still an image that makes me want to vomit).

Bye Manny, you talented douche.

Right up the canton

In the United States, they make the flag into patriotic underpants. In Britain, it can be found as a beach towel. In Peru however, one sits on the flag at one's peril:

Peru wants jail for nude woman using flag as saddle

One man's night of paid kink in Nevada is another's sentence of treason in Lima.

"Betsy! A skidmark! What have you been doing?"

Caption Contest

No Title

One day I will have something to say that inspires me to sit down and type, the way I used to back in the 2004 days on this blog. I have a sense that day may come soon. Until then, I shall continue to be intermittment, as is my right.

Hardly the 95 theses of Martin Luther, but as a manifesto it'll have to do for now. Besides, I am busily trying to finish season one of Mad Men before July 28 and season two.

Who Wrote Beethoven's 5th Symphony?

When my friend Listmaker began his recent campaign to raise awareness about the inanity of the American radio interviewer Terry Gross I have to admit I was resistant to joining his charge. Ms. Gross may not always ask the most probing of questions on her show Fresh Air she does have good guests and her conversations with mendacious conservative blowhard Bill O'Reilly and mediocre bassist Gene Simmons are classics of the art.

Last night however Ms. Goss uttered a statement about her guest Rhett Miller (from the Old 97s) that brought me over to Listmaker's dark side. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you what might be Terry Gross's most idiotic comment to date. I wish I could find it verbatim, but this is as close as I can remember it:

We'll talk more with Rhett Miller about his serious- but thank god unsuccessful- suicide attempt...

I'm glad she pointed out that he was unsuccessful, otherwise she would have blown my mind, conducting a probing interview via a ouija board.

Theme for the summer

Soft rock it, you Kiwi comedy folk lotharios:

This is not a maverick conservative french fry blog

I am surely not the first to notice this, but:

John McCain, Republican for president;

McCain Frozen Foods, the world's largest potato processor.

Good thing the Democrats are running Obama, not Oh Henry.

Ooooo Nooooooo

First, apologies for my recent absence. Family bid'nez, work, extra curricula lunacy, and a head full of snot have combined to keep me from posting.

Second, I'm two tracks into the new Fratellis album and it is BLOODY AWFUL.

I know you indie savants out there would probably claim the first album was rubbish (why don't you all toddle off and compare rimless specs and ironic t-shirts rather than sneering at a music simpleton like me, home slices? They sound like "Hootie and the Blowfish" Bill? Really?). Being a fan of foppish dandy pop that's redolent of British gangster films from the 70s myself, I rather liked their eponymous debut. And so I was excited to see their unheralded second effort on the Borders website.

Ugh- track three, if this is possible, is even worse than the first two songs.

Where were we? Oh yes. Shouty choruses, slow motion kick lines, and sub-Marc Bolan guitar rock = good. Shouty choruses, lack of irony, and sub- Gary Glitter guitar rock: ABSOLUTELY HIDEOUS.

I want my money back.