LINCOLN - Carl Pelini's voice drifted into that unmistakable tone - coachspeak, it's called - as the Nebraska defensive coordinator began to discuss the relationships in play as the Huskers prepare to visit Oklahoma.

"You don't think about who you're coaching against," he said. "It doesn't affect anything."

But soon, his words slowed. Pelini's inflection softened. The coachspeak disappeared.

It is impossible to deny, he said, the connection between Oklahoma, under Bob Stoops, and the new Nebraska, with Carl's brother, Bo Pelini, as head coach.

Their families grew up together, intertwined because of sports and school and the bond formed during two decades on the south side of Youngstown, Ohio. Stoops, 48, is the second oldest of four boys in a family of six children. Pelini, 40, is the youngest of eight, including five boys.

"It's pretty unique, I would agree," Carl Pelini said. "I shouldn't try to compare it to other friendships we've made in this profession. But at the same time, you've got to try to set that aside. We've got a game to play."

Oh, yes, the game. Set for Saturday night at 7 in Norman, Okla., it makes for an interesting backdrop as two of Youngstown's favorite sons take center stage.

Stoops, with 104 victories in nine-plus seasons at OU, and Pelini, in his first year in charge at Nebraska, are closer than you might imagine for two men separated in age by 7 years, 3 months and 3 days.

They never played together at Cardinal Mooney High School, where Bob (class of 1978) and Bo (class of '86) both starred in football and basketball. In fact, Bob graduated with Bo's oldest brother, Vince. Bo ran mainly with Bob's youngest brother, Mark, now the defensive coordinator under Mike Stoops at Arizona.

But the two future Big 12 leaders crossed paths often.

"To understand it," Bo Pelini said, "you've got to look at the community."

Youngstown is a tight-knit mix of working-class families. Carl Pelini said his wife, Kelley, a native Kansan, refers to the city as "a cult."

Mark Stoops doesn't exactly disagree.

"The people of Youngstown support each other," he said. "That's the only way I can describe it. They always want to be there."

Folks from Youngstown drop into Lincoln for nearly every game at Memorial Stadium. Roy Nard, Mark Rinehart and Greg Fedor visited last month to watch the Huskers play New Mexico State.

Nard coached Bo Pelini in basketball and still works at the high school. So does Rinehart, the Cardinal Mooney softball coach. Fedor, a priest, has moved on from Mooney but stays in touch with his former students.

"We come from a unique place," Nard said. "Even when those kids move on, we don't let go."

Nard, Rinehart and Fedor visited Pelini last year at LSU. They've been to Norman to watch Bob Stoops in action and to Tucson, Ariz., to see Mike and Mark Stoops.

Their attitudes exemplify the principles that guide Bo Pelini and Bob Stoops in coaching.

Last month in Lincoln as the trio from Youngstown waited to congratulate Pelini following Nebraska's third victory, the coach stayed in his office for a few minutes to watch Arizona on TV. Pelini emerged upset that the Wildcats were down.

If Arizona loses - it did, to New Mexico - Pelini said it would ruin his night, according to Nard.

"That's the respect they all have for each other," Nard said. "That's how close they are."

Just how close?

Carl Pelini, as a graduate assistant at Kansas State nearly 20 years ago, lived in Bob Stoops' home. Stoops, then the K-State defensive coordinator, and his wife, Carol, had recently married.

Pelini moved out after about a year, he said, because he "started feeling guilty" that Bob and his wife spent no time alone.

Stoops laughed this week at the recollection.

"It would be my wife and me and Carl, sitting around watching TV or having dinner," Stoops said. "If you know Carl, he's got a great personality. We had a lot of fun having him around. And if I was out busy recruiting, my wife enjoyed having someone to talk to."

Stoops, in 1985, tried help recruit Bo Pelini to Iowa. A former Hawkeye like his brothers Mike and Mark, Stoops served as a volunteer coach under Hayden Fry during Pelini's senior season at Mooney.

Pelini enjoyed his recruiting visit to Iowa, he said, and nearly picked the school, settling, though, on Ohio State because of its closer proximity to his parents.

As a freshman at Ohio State, Pelini suffered a broken jaw. He said he grew disgruntled about the situation.

"I remember Bob called me and told me, 'Hey, you're going to go through some tough times,'" Pelini said. "He told me to get myself in gear.

"That's just the kind of person you're dealing with."

Pelini's primary coaching influence was Stoops' father, Ron Stoops Sr., the defensive coordinator at Mooney for all nine Stoops and Pelini boys.

Among college coaches, Pelini models himself most after Bob Stoops, who hired Pelini in 2004 to help coordinate the Oklahoma defense for one season.

Like Stoops at OU, Pelini instituted family night this year at Nebraska. Every Wednesday, the wives and children of the NU coaches eat dinner with their husbands at Memorial Stadium.

"It's family first," Pelini said. "You can have balance. You've got to work hard. You've got to work smart. But you've got to always keep in mind that if you're a husband and a father, then that's got to be at the top of the list of your duties."

You see, Stoops and Pelini are almost family themselves.

And really, with these coaches, it's all about family. It's why this week carries such meaning. And it's why worry casts a shadow over this game as Bo and Carl's father, Anthony, fights serious illness in Ohio.

The old friends will be there, in the end, for support. And so will their hometown, abuzz with talk of Stoops-Pelini I.

"It's a great thrill," said Don Bucci, the former high school coach of Stoops and Pelini. "This is a win-win situation for us, because we think so much of both guys, but also because we know they think so much of each other."


• Contact the writer: 402-473-9587, mitch.sherman@owh.com