Written by Angad Sachdev.
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1. Ottawa Senators (25-14)
   Kudos to the Senators for making the winless streak a distant memory. While Switzerland native Martin Gerber continues to produce victories, it could very well lead to departure of fan favorite goaltender Ray Emery. (Editor's Note: You may notice that I have the Senators 25-14 instead of 25-10-4. This is because this stupid points system needs to go. Once I get a playoff system installed in college football, I'll work on this. It shall be glorious.)
   
   
2. Detroit Red Wings (29-11)
   The Red Wings continue to dominate the rest of the NHL by drafting players in the later rounds and mixing their team with veterans who should be in a retirment home. The other teams should take a chapter out of their books, or at the very least invest in some retirement funds.
   
   
3. Dallas Stars (23-17)
   While Stars fans were ready to send goaltender Marty Turco as cattle to a slaughter house, he has quietly crept back into the goalie standings with 15 wins this season, carrying the team into first place. There are some consistency issues lingering in Big D, but a home-ice position is highly possible.
   
   
4. New Jersey Devils (21-17)
   The Devils show resilience no matter how many times their backs are against the wall. Head coach Brett Sutter has been able to utilize his players to the best of their abilities along with rock-solid goaltending from Martin Brodeur. It's unfortunate, however, that the team is more boring to watch than a Barry Manilow special on PBS.
   
   
5. Minnesota Wild (22-17)
   It's a sad state in the NHL when the league passes on great Minny for Fort Lauderdale, as this Southern Florida city would rather inherit tanning salons instead of youth hockey programs. Despite their near-decade dormancy from the NHL, two-way forward Marian Gaborik has the real NHL "Hockeytown" strapped onto his shoulders for a pleasant ride.
   
   
6. San Jose Sharks (22-17)
   With an offensive threat stronger than most of the teams in the league, one has to wonder why Sharks forward Jonathan Cheechoo misses more opportunities than Woody Allen at a singles event. Look for the Sharkies to gain a stranglehold over the Pacific division by mid January.
   
   
7. Pittsburgh Penguins (21-18)
   Well, hell has frozen over as the once-sorry Pens look like they could be on course to heat things up for the Devils. Coach Michael Therrien called out teams for disrespecting his pesky Penguins, but what on God's earth has provoked Therrien to wear such a silly two-pieced wig?
   
   
8. Vancouver Canucks (22-18)
   Does anybody else feel strange about the Sedin twins being attached to each other like Donny and Marie Osmond on a hot Sunday night? If the Canucks manage to that stay red hot, the Western Conference playoffs could form into total madhouse.
   
   
9. Colorado Avalanche (21-18)
   This team has given up on prospects faster than Superman can court Lois Lane. But if last season is to be a nuisance for the Avs, coach Joel Quenneville must rely upon Paul Stastny and Wojtek Wolski to carry the team with a youth-gone-wild game plan.
   
   
10. Buffalo Sabres (19-19)
    No Chris Drury or Daniel Briere? No problem. This team responds every time a franchise player departs to fill their fat piggy banks. Make no mistake that the Sabres are a small-market team playing with a chip on their shoulder. If you're wondering who should take the Jack Adams Award this season, look no further than Buffalo's own Lindy Ruff.
    
    
11. Calgary Flames (19-21)
    Flames Girls Gone Wild should be re-launched for goaltender Miika Kiprusoff who currently holds a 19-12-7 record. At the very least the fans will have some entertainment aside from drunkards at a Maple Syrup festival.
    
    
12. New York Rangers (20-19)
    The games in hand benefit the New York Rangers who are currently riding a 3-0-2 streak, but the Broadway Blue Skirts have plenty questions to answer if the box office is going to be a success.
    
    
13. Boston Bruins (19-20)
    The Bruins are losing key players due to freak injuries but are managing to stay afloat. Think the B's are looking for a tough enforcer against the baby-faced bully Flyers, or will they cry to their mothers in hopes of receiving a peanut buttercup and kiss on the cheek?
    
    
14. St. Louis Blues (19-18)
    Not enough respect is given to GM John Davidson, who has transformed the team from pretenders to contenders in one season. But if the Blues are to continue their dominance during the second half,goaltender Manny Legace must ditch his free-falling doldrums and find a way to win close games.
    
    
15. New York Islanders (20-18)
    The Islanders are struggling to build on consistency but are giving the rest of the Atlantic division headaches as Rick Dipietro continues to save more than a discount rug at Ollie's.
    
    
16. Montreal Canadiens (19-20)
    Make no mistake that the Canadiens draft the best goaltenders in the league. We all know that elite goaltenders win Stanley Cups, and Carey Price is quickly turning into a huge hit. Watch out for this kid.
    
    
17. Philadelphia Flyers (19-18)
    Save the hate mail Flyers fans, but this organization has plenty of questions to answer, including their inability to attack the opposition. Simon Gagne is expected to return from a concussion next week so don't key his car at the Skate Zone practice facilities.
    
    
    
    
    
18. Chicago Blackhawks (19-19)
    Sergei Samsonov was recently waived by the Blackhawks and rightfully so. I would gladly shed an overpaid salary for some Mennonite organ players to entertain a couple of fans. Hey, at least the Hawks are winning games.
    
    
19. Anaheim Mighty Ducks (19-22)
    Scott Niedermayer is back in the lineup, but are the Ducks ready to soothe their Stanley Cup hangovers with some New Year's resolutions? Maybe head coach Randy Carlyle has some weight-trimming resolutions planned after eating the family Christmas ham.
    
    
20. Carolina Hurricanes (20-21)
    Two games above .500 (20-18-3) and one win from a fluke goal scored by captain Rod Brind'amour against his former team isn't an achievement. So, Canes fans, please stop patting yourselves on the backs because the Thrashers will overtake your squad.
    
    
21. Columbus Blue Jackets (18-21)
    Ken Hitchcock has his team heading in the right direction, but Hitch might benefit from taking anger-management courses if the young Blue Jackets are to have long-term success in the Western Conference. A Slim Fast may not hurt either.
    
    
22. Phoenix Coyotes (18-19)
    The Yotes are playing shoots and ladders with a .500 record but could use another star player to help them make a playoff push. Hey Gretz, wanna lace up those skates like Eddie Shore and Toe Blake? If not, Wheaties should do the trick.
    
    
23. Florida Panthers (18-21)
    It's time for this team to fold as well as their uninspiring fans. Goaltender Tomas Vokoun and the rising Panthers deserve a better city to play for rather than these hack of fans that jump on the Oregon Trail wagon. Let's hope it doesn't take someone dying of Dysentery to move this squad to Winnipeg or Quebec.
    
    
24. Atlanta Thrashers (19-21)
    You can guarantee the Flyers and Blues are benefiting from the Thrashers' quick-veteran investments during last season's deadline. It must hurt, however, to be swept by the Rags in your first ever playoff appearance. Former head coach Bob Hartley is too good of a teacher to remain on coaching waivers. It's high time a struggling team claims him.
    
    
25. Edmonton Oilers (16-24)
    The Oilers are to Popeye as the big market teams are _____.
    
    
    A. Woody Woodpecker
    B. Ned Flanders
    C. Ernie from Sesame Street
    D. Bluto (a fat guy who hates spinach-eaters)
    
    If you chose any of the first three answers above, then give up life and find a shrink. While the big market clubs continue to dominate the light heavy weights, the Oilers want the league to know that their Stanley Cup appearance two seasons ago was not a fluke. Let's hope Popeye delivers a knockout punch to Bluto.
    
    
26. Los Angeles Kings (15-26)
    GM Dean Lombardi and the Kings have a long mountain to climb, but if their 9-2 victory against the Blackhawks is any indication of a turnaround, King fans could be in store for a sweet Hollywood ending.
    
    
27. Washington Capitals (16-24)
    Ovie and Capitals are still a work in progress, but head coach Bruce Boudreau is the prepared to groom his team into a Stanley Cup contender. With that in mind, look for him to turn failure into success next season for the youthful Caps.
    
    
28. Nashville Predators (18-20)
    Last season the Preds sang their way into the hearts of Nashville and have been able to attract many country singers to the games. It's a shame they may expand to Canada this off-season because them country girls is fine for the sport of hockey! Get er done!
    
    
29. Toronto Maple Leafs (16-24)
    Tsk...tsk....tsk. The Toronto Maple Laughs have struggled to make the postseason since the lockout three seasons ago. It's time for Toronto to get serious about asking Paul Maurice to find a new team. How do you fix their current blunders? See hint from 24 above.
    
    
30. Tampa Bay Lightning (15-25)
    Note to GM Jay Feaster: Today's NHL does not work with a blue-collar, hard-hat mentality and it is time for the team to realize it needs to bolster its offense instead of living in a 1990s Donald Audette pipe dream. And a quick reminder to Feaster, you're no longer playing NHL 95 with your children on Sega Genesis. Enjoy the basement.
    
    

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Agree or disagree with something Angad Sachdev wrote? You can send him an e-mail here: Angad.Sachdev@att.net
All other e-mail, including advertising and link-exchange proposals, send to: wpc112@gmail.com