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HUMBLE: ...not proud or haughty...not arrogant or assertive...reflecting, expressing or offered in a spirit of deference, respect or submission...unpretentious...lacking all signs of pride, aggressiveness or assertiveness. How simple the words, how truly profound the gift. The act of humility, the state of presenting yourself so to the world is perhaps one of the most difficult things to do. In the realm of D/s, the lifestyle most commonly known as Domination and submission this precept becomes even more significant. There are many who see only the overt sexual aspects of D/s without the truth within that reality. The Dominant and the submissive are a team. Their union a true partnership. A choice of non-conflict between successful individuals. They attain this through active decisions during the course of every day. In today's society there is strong emphasis on individuality and independence. Money becomes the goal, the indicator of success. What is not there is that which all humans crave, a companion, a true partner. If both male and female are assertive and aggressive they turn blades against each other. Sometimes a Dominant will ask a submissive to learn humility. Usually this occurs when the submissive (for purposes of this discussion a female), demonstrates continuing acts of pride, self involvement, disrespect and an elevated perception of themselves to the point where their actions displease those about them. Humility is a gift that a submissive offers to their Dominant. A choice to defer to the Dominant. The role of submissive is not a passive existence of someone of diminished status, far the contrary. It is to be the gift of support, to joyously assist and augment their Dominant, the steel in the framework. The Dominant for his part cherishes the soft strength of the submissive, he understands the difficulty of not answering back in pride and aggression, he understands that it is far harder to kneel than to stand, to give than to take. He also knows that a submissive cannot have both, she must embrace her submission, glory in the gift she willingly offers. To assist her he may instruct her in the forgotten ways of humility and grace. This may seem at odds with today's society. Perhaps so. Yet if you ask any submissive they perceive no diminishment of self by offering the gift of themselves to a worthy Dominant. There is a true art to blending the duality of self into one glorious being. In a sense it is quite simple, a relationship cannot flourish if both persons are leaders. To be truly successful one must lead the other must navigate. If you are asked to learn to be humble, you must look deep within your actions to see them from the viewpoint of others. You must ask yourself, "Do I think too highly of myself and impose my inflated opinion on others? Am I too proud, haughty? Do I willingly defer to others? Am I respectful? Am I too aggressive, too assertive? Am I pretentious?" It is perhaps true that your Dominant believes one or more of these to be true. That he perceives area's that need attention from you. If you have been asked to explore this within yourself, how did you do so? Were you aggressive and whiny? Did you take offense and point fingers at others offer empty justifications for your actions? Or did you reach out and grasp that quiet serenity that is the true submissive, did you look within the mirror of your heart and admit the truth of what your Dominant has seen? Did you kneel in humility and mortification at the prideful nature of your responses? Did you beg forgiveness and thank him for his concern for you? |
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