of Rejected Toys
Recalled Children's Christmas Gifts
the worst toys of the holiday season, these toys have
been banned for good reason. But despite the serious injury
and or death associated with owning these toys, most of
them will make your kids laugh or cry.
Don't want a herd of hippos having a huge orgy on your
living room floor? Then don't be a dumbass and bring home
this stupid horny hippo game. Anyone who owns this game
should probably have their carpet professionally cleaned
several times per week.
Mr. Potato Head's lesser-known cousin, this little spud
is hopelessly addicted to crack & coke. He can be
quite useful around the house, doing various chores
to earn money for his next fix. If he gives you any
lip, cut him up and toss him in the deep fryer. His
crispy remains will net you $200-$500 on the street.
Stress Disorder G.I.Joe
A real American Hero with haunting and permanent psychological
scars of war. If you buy this shell-shocked action figure
for your boys, they sure as hell won't running off to
Iraq, Iran, or any of the "Stan" countries to
catch bullets for the establishment.
It's hard to tell your daughter that her doll is a dirty
little skank... "Happy Hour Barbie" spends
her alimony payments on skimpy outfits and booze. This
party girl practically lives at the nightclub, and is
known to wake up in bed with guys she doesn't even remember
meeting. It's even rumored that this pint-sized princess
has more toxins and chemicals in her body than Lindsay
After a lengthy divorce battle that saw 90% of his life
savings awarded to his ex-wife Barbie, Ken is homeless,
cold & hungry with an appetite for revenge. That spoiled
bitch is gonna pay...
(Homicidal Ken comes with binoculars, empty wallet
and sniper rifle)
Child slaves in sweatshops don't have much experience
with electrical wiring... As a result, this toy fire engine
is prone to short-circuiting.
Little Sammy will never forget the Christmas when his
little red firetruck bursts into flames. As the frenzy
of blasting horns & sirens deafens your entire neighborhood,
little Sammy gets to see real fire trucks up close as
his house burns down.
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