Lady Lamas

Meditation for Killing Lazy Doubt - from Klesha Killers Class 3

December 16, 2008 · No Comments

Want to listen to the mediation? Click here for the class audio.

• Every choice we make, small or big, is based on wanting happiness.
• Let’s look at what we believe will make us happy.
• Career… are you identifying yourself with your job?
• Relationship…We keep changing the object when it doesn’t work out the way we thought it would. That person didn’t make me happy so let me try this other one.
• Better looks, nicer body… how much mental space is devoted to this one.
• Can happiness be coming from these things? Go through some logic now to see whether they possibly could have that power by themselves.
• Have you ever had everything fine externally but still you felt miserable?
• If happiness were coming from those things, then they would always make you happy. And they would make every person happy in the same way.
• Keep looking with honesty. These are the things of this life that we are stuck to - we don’t want to change too much - we avoid surrender because we still believe in these things.
• You have to see are you getting what you want? Are these things that you invest your time and mind and heart in - are they bringing you the result you’re seeking?
• Are you getting happiness for a while and then losing it?
• If that’s true, then can you really call it happiness?
• You have great courage to want to change your emotions, your habits. To know that the kleshas are something to destroy. To know they are separable from your mind. How very rare.
• Ask yourself honestly what are you here in this life to become?
• What would you be like if you removed all your kleshas completely?
• See yourself right now completely perfect mentally and physically. You are light and radiant. Your mind is nothing but a deep flourishing bliss.
• Now sit and watch your mind throw out a list of doubts about being able to reach this state of perfection.
• And wish for the ability to always be clear about your doubts and always work to fight them until you reach your final goal.

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Ask Lady Lamas

November 7, 2008 · No Comments

I never feel good enough, pretty enough, desirable enough… how do I change this?
First, consider that all the details of you are perfect for reaching a certain audience of people that will benefit from you.

Next, ask yourself ‘what part of me is fixed?’ And take some time to really meditate on this. Can you point to one aspect of you that is not changing moment to moment? Are you the anger that you experienced a week ago or the sadness that you felt a few days ago or the happiness you felt a month ago? Which one is you?

The you that is not good enough is something that never existed, and never could exist. Beneath the labels and the concepts, there is nothing substantial there. Look deeply enough to see that there is nothing that binds you. There are no characteristics of you that are stuck. You are unlimited potential. When you can let go of the labels that bind you, you will be free to create a you that is happy and beautiful.

Creating a you that is happy means take time to remember rejoicing. When you have a sweet thought, rejoice. When you see someone do a kind deed, rejoice. When you see someone smile, rejoice. This creates a happy you.

How can I make stronger friendships? Also, most of the time I feel incredibly scattered, how can I learn to channel my creativity/energy?
What does stronger mean to you? Reliable? Close? Supportive? Decide what you are really looking for in your friendships, be specific and be that yourself. Maybe even make a list of those qualities and check them off during the day. Whatever you don’t want to see anymore, again be very specific and stop doing it yourself. Remember, you are creating your world by how you treat other people, including your co-workers, your corner deli guy and your best friend. There is a time gap between planting a karmic seed and a result, so don’t expect results right away but with good intention and consistency your world will start to shift.

Learn to meditate to gain single pointed concentration, this will help in all aspects of your life including channeling your creativity and energy. There are many places that offer guided meditations to get you started. The Three Jewels, as one example, has free guided meditations Mon, Wed and Fri mornings at 8 am and Venerable Phuntsok is now teaching his meditation classes there on Friday evenings at 7 pm. Try it out!

How do I find contentment in my partnership?
What if you made a decision to stop focusing on all the qualities that your partner doesn’t have? What if you understood that they were completely available to be the one you always dreamed of?
What if you put aside your doubts about them and treated them as though they were your angel? Do you think that your view of them might change? Approach a partnership with wisdom and kindness, understanding that they are reflecting what seeds are in your own heart and then work on fixing the faults you see by purifying your own behavior.

If you see faults in your partner, you can be sure those are the things you need to work on in yourself. For example, if your partner doesn’t listen to you, check, are you really listening to others? Are there certain people at work or certain friends that you tune out? If your partner doesn’t seem excited to see you, are you acting aloof with others or making them feel disregarded?

Check if you are holding onto past things, holding certain qualities I see as fixed in them. I am keeping them this way by doing that.

If I’m not feeling excited to be with them it is because I have started to take them as having fixed qualities. I started making a negative list. In order to turn it around, I have to make positive lists. I have to wake up and see the back of their head and think ‘thank you for being in my life. May you be happy.’ Like everything in existence, they are available to be all you ever dreamed of.

How can I find balance in my life? Feel happy? Find inner peace? Feel less agitated and irritable?
Master Shantideva says ‘malicious people are as unending as space. How many enemies will I need to kill? When the mind of anger is killed, all enemies are killed.’ I hear harmful thoughts in my mind as I go through the day. Imagine how many years I did this and didn’t even regard it as something harmful to my own experience of the world. Now that I have the tools to deal with it, and disregard my own laziness in order to deal with it, it’s a moment of rejoicing. How fortunate I am to have guidance. I am not just at the mercy of my mental afflictions.

There is something so wonderful about trying in the moment to do the opposite of the affliction that arises. Like you hear your mind make a judgment and maybe even someone harms you and you feel that heat in your belly rise to motivate your fearful reaction. Instead you say am I going to just keep spinning this wheel or try something new? You watch the hostility rise, you don’t grab onto the affliction. Maybe you take a moment to wonder where the person might be coming from. Are they in pain? Are they teaching me something I still need to work on? And then that moment that was going to be a bad feeling transforms into a moment of pleasure, peacefulness. Your heart opens as you see the person.

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Q&A Crazy Sexy Wisdom

September 2, 2008 · No Comments

(Below are condensed versions of answers from Day two of Crazy Sexy Wisdom. Go to “Listen to Crazy Sexy Wisdom” to hear the answers in full.)

Recently someone pulled a knife on me. How can I cultivate compassion when I am afraid to trust those that I don’t know?
This is such a brave question. We all have something that traumatized us and it is real and it hurts and if we let it, it can color our experience of the world.

So take that moment in time and ask, is it here now? Is that moment of utter fear, of utter disbelief, is it here now? Is it in this room? Is that guy in this room?

He is here, only in my mind. He is only a memory. He is only a thought. The past is nothing but a mere thought ripening again, and ripening again.

We have these stories about how things are and we can hang on to that story and re-experience that story, or we can really take that story and use it and change it. You see?

By letting go of that story we can free ourselves. It is about seeking freedom from the past. That past isn’t here now. Not if you let it go.

We all have this thing with the past, right? We blame our mothers, we blame our fathers, we have all these stories about the past about how we are like the way we are now. And it is all stories.

Every time you remember something, it is different. Every time. A detail is different, the emotion is a little bit different, it is always a little different. Not even your past is fixed.

The past has nothing to do with the present. It affects us and it hurts us and it was real, yes. But if we can just begin to think about: Is the past here, in this room? Ok, no, it is not in this room. It is just a memory. But it happened. In the past. Ok, if the past was fixed, wouldn’t I remember everything perfectly, in exactly the same way, every single time I thought about it? Wouldn’t that be fixed?

So walk yourself through that. If you can do that, you can change the way you see your world, you can un-color it with that awful tint, and you can free yourself. You can love and you can be compassionate towards everybody because that’s the world you want to experience.

Be the change you want to see in the world.

How can I see the beauty in me and feel comfortable with myself?
Highest view: rejoice in the beauty of others. If you are able to rejoice in the beauty of others it is because there is beauty in you. If you can see beauty in the world, it is coming from you. It is not outside of you.

How do I deal with my jealousy?
Sometimes we think that because someone else has something that we don’t have, it is because it is limited and then there is not enough for us. But it is really coming from ourselves. So rejoice in that.

How can I create the karma to have a sharp mind and a sharp memory?
According to this beautiful philosophy the way we can develop a sharp mind, is by keeping our morality. It is really keeping mindfulness.

In this practice there are some guidelines, that is The Book, the famous Book. I am not trying to preach that I keep them all perfectly but I try. We all try right? It is about a practice. That gives enough merit so that we can develop concentration so that we can meditate. And it is through meditation that we can find mindfulness and it is through mindfulness that we can throw that shoe of joy through the Wheel of Samsara.

That is it. Keep your morality. Then you will be able to keep your concentration, you will be able to meditate and things, you will find more joy and your concentration will be sharper.

What I really want is to be wiser with the things I want and to understand the real reasons why I want them and what they would to do help me. I feel I want things like more money and a boyfriend, but I don’t really know if those things are in my best interest or I just want not to be lonely. Why do those things happen?

It is confusing. I also want that. And I think the core of this question, which is so beautiful, is that we don’t want to be lonely. Who wants to be lonely? I don’t want to be lonely. Help lonely people.

The state of health is a very stubborn obstacle in my life to achieve many things that I have not been able to achieve. How can I turn it around?

This one is tuff. All of them are tuff. When health strikes us. Highest view: take care of sick people. I have asked Lisette this before, because it is difficult, once you are sick it would be like dried cement. I don’t know if this situation is something pranic if it is something terminal or something mild. How do you deal with something in the moment? yes it is dried cement. Can you reverse that karma? Can you? You can change it. Not even karma is fixed. And there are practices that can help that we are touching on in these classes. But there are ways that we can reverse and minimize the effect of past actions. Something that might ripen into a disease that might kill you, can ripen into maybe a headache or to a surgery. There are practices and it is radical. Crazy, it is sexy. Is wisdom.

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