Furry

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ THEY GOT TIRED OF PLAYING SOLO

If furries were firm-bodied 19-year-old girls with nice tits in bunny suits and a preference for the better sex, there'd be no need for an ED article and we'd be too busy to write one. Unfortunately, Furries are the opposite: they're out to damage and scar your soul by sexualizing childhood cartoon characters and dressing up in animal costumes to have sex in. Gay sex. Fur fags give everyone a reason to ridicule their sad fucking lives. Its simple really.

Contents 1 Recruitment 2 Furry art 3 Deceptions 4 Sad 5 Horrible 6 Furry Retaliation 7 Girl furries 8 Wikipedia drama 9 See also 10 YouTube furry videos 11 External Links

What's most disturbing are the intricate full-body suits(known as fursuits) that every furry will eventually build and most will only have sex while wearing them, often while using tickling furshampoo. Furry artwork tends to depict severely disturbing, overtly sexual interspecies relationships. Many furfags claim to be born that way but they're actually just delusional and chose to be furry to fit in with someone, because every other subculture rejected them for good obvious reasons. Packetgrinder theorized that most furfags are simply run-of-the-mill fags who are too grotesque to convince others to have anal sex with them unless their flabby zit-covered bodies are completely cloaked in a 50/50 cotton-poly tiger costume. However, it should be noted that after a hard night of drinking, a young woman in Santa Cruz was convinced to actually let a Furry stick his zit-ridden cock in her vagina. Fortunately, she came to her senses once he began to make cat noises, and left the son-of-a-bitch with blue balls. After battling the psychological trauma from the ordeal, she committed suicide a month later. Although the Furry went on to claim more unfortunate victims, he ended up dead after trying to carry out a vore fantasy involving a fox, a cow, and one very unlucky chicken.

Some furfags claim that they have no sexual interest whatsoever, and simply enjoy walking around their house in a dog suit when no one else is watching. This is a lie since all furfags are drawn to sexual perversity regardless of their species. Furfags only say this kind of thing when they are threatened with death or when they find new victims for "surprise yiff". Just to be on the safe side, if a furfag ever tells you they're celibate, you should castrate them to ensure their celibacy.

Furfags claim that their "furfaggotry" is an innate part of themselves. Sometimes they claim it's a "totem animal" in order to give themselves the same legitimacy that druids have in D&D. Sometimes they claim that they were actually an animal in a previous life, and have been reincarnated. Sometimes they claim that they're RILLY RILLY HONEST AND FOR TRUE a lycanthrope, who can magically transform into a real, actual animal. Usually it's the other way around and that they're RILLY RILLY HONEST AND FOR TRUE an actual animal with the magical ability to turn into a socially maladjusted loser and get stuck that way for the rest of their miserable lives. Unfortunately, they continue to shun and reject the guaranteed cure for their condition which is of course, an hero.

The innate natures or totem animals or whatever delusional justification they provide almost always (99.9999% of the time) take the form of an animal that is either cute (rabbits, mice, woodchucks, etc), dangerous (lions, tigers and bears, oh my!), or rife with dark symbolism (wolves, snakes and ravens). Naturally, these traits are rarely possessed by the furfag's "human nature". Furfags who claim less flashy species (such as banana slugs or an anchovies) as their totem animals are almost non-existent, but only because they haven't found a way to anthropomorphize them for their sick sexual fantasies... yet. In fact, the only known exceptions are the furfags who deliberately chose a non-standard totem animal so they could (A) be socially-maladjusted outsiders even within the Furry community (and if that doesn't make you flinch, nothing will); and (B) say "NUH-UH" to anybody who makes the observation outlined in this paragraph.

These faggots also got the 100m GET, which proves that furries truly are the cancer that is killing /b/.

Recruitment

This is what happens when kids are raised on a diet of Disney cartoons that depict animals with love interests are constantly told to play with talking teddy bears, or watch Tiny Toons, Animaniacs, and that shitty cartoon animal Robin Hood movie to severe excess. The Furry subculture can also be viewed as the product of an unholy miscegenation of hick and nerd culture, much like how HIV is thought to have developed as a result of humans fucking chimpanzees, because animal fucking is a popular hick pastime and anime is a staple of nerd civilization.

Depite opinion that it's the internet that creates furries, furries existed and still exist even without the internet. Through movies, cartoons, Halloween costumes, toys, games, and other things that parents innocently expose their children to, children develop an interest in furry. So, furries tend to develop before being exposed to the internet, though it is only when exposed to the internet that they realize "OMG! THERE'RE OTHERS LIKE ME!".

Making a furry	Altered Beast - Furry's favourite game	Kids nowadays....what will they do next?	Furry book tempting kids with painful pleasure
Furries believe cub pr0n is awwwwwrriiiggghtt.	Marketing to the furfag of tomorrow.	Movie making kids think dressing up as a dog is just fine	Pity a furry's spawn
Typical furfag children at play. Bitch cried. So do most furfags when they see this on a hate site.	Anime furry tempting the Wapanese	Hello Kitty recruiting the Japanese to furry	Girl sees through his clever disguise

Furry art

Some furries claim they're just in it for the art. True or not, many furries consider themselves "artists". Naturally, their "art" runs the gamut of things that wouldn't pass muster in a 4th grade class to things that make you wonder why they're wasting their time in Furry.

Exceptional example of Furry Art.	Drive in hell carfag!	Good 'ol days	Why would someone draw this?
Like zombies, they eat your brainssss	the disease is spreading to a few games to, oh noes!!!1	Krystal can't enjoy her sandwich	IRL? O rly?
Interracial furry sex	How babies are made		A fantastic scupture by Zaush.

Deceptions

Of course, this is exactly what they want you to think: that they're just a bunch of artists. The reality is much worse. In real life, furries have two traits, that they'll try to cover up as best they can, but are always present: they're sad, pathetic losers, and they do horrible things. Quite a few furries harbor a gigantic persecution complex because of this, and they will often explode into brick-shitting, BAAWWWWWWWing rages when called out on their bullshit by other, more jaded furries who are well aware that their fandom is nothing more than a gigantic collection of shitty smut cobbled together by hormonal 16-year-old who have taken maybe one art class and draw horribly detailed cocks on uninspired, trite designs of the creatures furries love so much. Naturally, all this art is highly prized amongst furries, with mediocre artists charging upwards of $60 USD for one badly sketched line drawing. Furs will often shell out large amounts of money to multiple artists at a time so that their laughably bad pornography is mass-produced and displayed as quickly as possible, in the hopes that the masses will jerk their smegma-laden cocks and finger their shitty assholes to their hyper-cocked wolf-taur fucking another creature in the ass with one of their dicks. This leads to their characters being featured in more works of smut from other artists(see examples DoralLizard, Zig Zag, ShowKaizer, Aurenn, Roxikat to name a few examples).

The following is a lengthy rant from one furry that perfectly embodies their nature of deception. The author directly mentioned ED and appears to have a dislike of this site, from his previous rantings.

“	Attention ED fuckheads and everybody who wants to find some stupid shit to repost on some asstarded site to make fun of me! This is your post! Since I'm already shitting my whole fucking life down the toilet, I decided in my infinite wisdom tonight to finally let loose on the forums here and tell you all how I really fucking think, and it's so funny you'll fucking shit yourself like I almost did 3 times today because I've got FUCKING BLOODY DIARRHEA LOL. First up on the chopping block, I'm smarter than you. No way, it's true. Due to the law of averages, the vast majority of people reading this are probably ready to rebuke me in some funny way which will make me laugh greatly, but the fact is it's true. Why? I don't need no fuckin' statistics, I just am. I aced high school, I aced college, and I'm acing my whole life right now. I'm running circles around my entire editorial board at my newspaper, and my faggot boss knows I'm smarter than her, but she's a skinny whiny Jew who thinks she knows better than everybody because she comes from Kansas and reads The New York Times. Fuck that. I'm the only one keeping that goddamn piece of shit rag in business and she fucking knows it, which is why she felt threatened by me today and decided to ream me out for the headlines I write at night: BAWWWW they're too fucking inaccurate! They're too fucking inappropriate! Fucking little whore. Second up, hunters have no fucking rights. If you're a hunter, fuck you. If you've ever killed an animal just for the shit of it, fuck you. The only thing you savages have the right to do is the right to remain silent while the police arrest you for murder. Yes, murder. In these modern times we live in, what some like to call the 21st century, we as a species have evolved past the need for senseless barbarism like the kind of bullshit you assholes pull when you get liquored up and go kill Bambi. You know what? Nature can take care of itself, it has for millions of years. It doesn't need us fucking it up by hiding behind that bullshit reason of "population control." Yeah, I got your fucking population control right here. It's called kill the hunters. An eye for an eye. Capital punishment for capital murder. I consider the murder of animals to be on equal footing with the murder of humans. "Well Nightweaver, what about plants? They have feelings too baww baww baww. What about when you hit a deer/racoon/squirrel with your car? What about stomping on insects?" You know what I'm fucking talking about you pieces of shit. Stop muddling the argument with your goddamn straw man bull. I don't need reams of scientific data to back up what I'm saying... KILLING IS WRONG NO MATTER WHAT IT IS. Did you know that the vast majority of hunters in the US are big fat neckbeards and rednecks, probably like the kind who post on this forum? It's true. Try going to India with that stupid "animals are lower than humans" shit you speciesist faggot, see how far you get before somebody runs your ass over. And don't try that bullshit that "we need them for food, we need them for research, we need them for clothing, we need them for this, we need them for that..." It doesn't hold any fucking water with me anymore, not that it ever really did. This is the same species which just mapped the human genome a few years ago; it's time for us to crawl out of the caveman macho bullshit days and get with the program. Yes I think I can make things better by yelling at you, so shut up. Yes I'm a member of PETA, so shut up. If I was less lazy and actually owned one, I'd take my gun and go out and hunt the hunters. I'd kill every one of you arrogant speciesist bastards I could find. Same goes for you meat-eaters. Hey asshole, I've thrived for 15 years on no meat, now it's YOUR turn to try it out. Or are you too pussy? Yeah that's what I thought, goddamn bunch of pussies who are too scared to go vegan. My conscience is clear, what about yours? Hm? You don't mind they're killed in horrible ways in slaughterhouses? You ENJOY watching them die? Then you're the worst kind of scum, lower even than child molesters. I spit on your fetid corpse. Finally (because I know you people are having OH SO MUCH FUN copying this into your ED entry on me), I DROP THE BIG BOMB! I'm into sex with animals! HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE FUCK. Guess what, it's kind of been skirted around in everything I've said about the topic anyway, but I support enormous animal penises in my mouth. Yes that's right, let's go there. OH SISTER! I will admit I've never actually tried it on any animal, but I would love to. I can hear someone now "Wow what a fucking hypocrite that he says he loves animals but wants to raep them llolololololoololol" Let me get one thing straight faggot: Pleasuring an animal sexually and raping them are two different things, and if you don't know the difference then you shouldn't be trying it in the first place. Do you think your dog likes getting fucking blue balls because there's no pussy for him? THAT'S ABUSE. THAT'S RAEP. Letting your poor pet suffer in silence because of a lack of sexual gratification. So OK, we got dogs covered, and it's different with all animals and some are NOT designed for us, so you better stay the fuck away from them. But honestly, do you think that horse hates having his dick rubbed if he's standing there and thrusting his hips at you? Believe me pal, if that horse didn't want you there, you'd have a busted jaw or broken neck already from a hoof to the face. So those are the two most obvious examples of animals I would like to pleasure; it's amazing how fast everyone's going to misinterpret this post and read into this that I'm some SICK FUCK who you can't let near your children. That's amazing, those people should win a fucking Nobel Prize for their stupidity. I'm about as benign a guy as you'll ever find, but here's what I can't get over: I'm in this fandom, furry fandom see, and its artists draw a LOT of dog cocks and a LOT of horse cocks and I'm like W-T-F? We love to see art of this shit but try soooo hard to deny to ourselves that it's just fantasy? Fuck you, slap yourself into reality. YOU'RE LOOKING AT DOG COCK AND GETTING OFF TO IT. Whether its drawn or not, you can't claim that you're not "into" animal sex. People just LOVE to make fun of us, zoophiles, bestialists, faggots, scum, whatever they call us. It's one big self-assuring joke apparently for humanity to delude itself into thinking that we're so much superior to lower animals that we cannot have sex with them. Interspecies sex is common in the wild, and yes I'm aware of the apparent hypocrisy between that and what I just said about hunting. "Animals hunt but we can't , but we can fuck them? Derpa derpa derp." Well guess what? We've domesticated all these species, and we are responsible for them. We're responsible for their care. Sometimes these poor beasts can't get off the way they want to, because of the physical restrictions we place on them by separating the sexes and so forth. So we should be able to masturbate them at least if they're horny and have no other outlet! I'd sign up to do it; I'd be at the fucking head of the line for that shit. Giant horse dick in my mouth? DO WANT! Phew.	„
—A Furry, on furries.

The Truth About Furries (in video format!!)

Sad

Furries are the scum of the earth, and the surest candidates for dying alone. The furry fandom will accept ANYONE, and hence attracts the worst and most pathetic people in the world. Furries are so ugly that they make Brian Peppers look attractive, so stupid that they make Aspies vigorously deny being them because they're the only thing stupider than them, and pathetic beyond compare. FAIL doesn't even begin to encompas how bad Furries have done in life.

Some furries are too poor to afford an animal costume and have to use their pajamas. Apparently they're too poor to afford ears that match either.	This is your brain on lonely	A furfag in its natural habitat. Note the furry legs
Lol wut?	A typical night for a furry	IRL furries without fursuits	Furry in a MMORPG
Might I have a spot of anal sex from a dog, guv'nah?	How furfags multiply	Remember: Being a furry is both harmless and consensual.	Furry & emo? Christ.
A sick fuck from YouTube	The same sick fuck from YouTube	Chevelle: A sick fuck that wants to be raped by furries. It's true.	Scene from a furry convention
Where is your God now?

Horrible

If they were just pathetic, like nerds, they could mostly be passed over without much of a thought, and maybe even pittied. But in addition to being failures at life, their minds are constantly thinking of more perverted things to do, which show up not only in their REAL art (the kind they put in a separate folders and tag with so many warnings you wonder why they put it OL on the first place), but in the things they do IRL.

Horror

Typical furry's daily comic strip. This is the only thing clean enough in this gallery to show before the cut. Tenuous grasp of anatomy Pictured: Typical mid-level furry jackoff material. They call it "cock vore". You gonna get raped!

They said "squeak squeak"! That means it's totally consensual! A Typical heart warming furry tale. Dorian Thorn tries to be a furry by buttfucking his mom's stuffed animals while she's out. A typical Furry lul The idealistic furry sextoy as taken from Mimi's Girls. YIFFY. Anime furry Nazis sucking each other off No fetish is too fucked up for furfags. Furry art made for mouse fuckers. The Truth about furfags typical furry mating ritual Furries like sex with animals, as drawn by Arania non hardocre yiff Typical comic made by a furfag. Story plots don't get worse this.

Furry Retaliation

Obviously, furfags are a blight on the world. They sit around in their suits skullfucking each other whilst making weird animal noises and drawing art that even your mother wouldn't love.

So, there's definately hostility on the internet. However, there's a big difference between wishes and what people actually do.

Here's what people want to do to furries:

All furfags need to be rounded up and herded into camps, where they will be forced to build cheap TV's for the poor 20 hours a day. What they do for the other 4 hours is up to them. While they'll inevitably die of exhaustion, the survivors should have no problems consuming the bodies, as it's one of their fetishes, lulz.

Remember, just like witches and homosexuals, if you do not dedicate your life to end the existence of furries, you are one of them.

Hence, the appropriate WH40K copypasta regarding the correct mindset when dealing with furries:

“	This is as my Master told it to me and now I tell it thee. There are a billion names of furfaggotry! A billion kinds of furries that slither and slime and defile the land and sea and wind. Each furry is a kind of sin spawned by the internet's evil. And that internets is very sinful there are many of these damned furfags and their power is great. As the purpose of all things in nature is to increase so it is with the furry. They would we joined them and so they seek to overcome us. In alien forms they assault us. In sleep they come to spread doubt and fear among us. They would corrupt our hearts and see us yiff too. Trust them not nor suffer them to live. For each furfag destroyed is a soul freed from eternal bondage. Each mortal furry life extinguished is an /i/nsurgent soul raised to glory. Thus our eternal destiny is written in the blood of the furfag. With box and tampon destroy the furfag. With pizza and koran smash the furfag. With credit card hacks and searing mormons scatter the furfag to the stars. With gore and dataforce and bandwidth raep, with hax and AIDS and jehovas, with yellow vans and steroids! Kill them! Kill them! Kill them all! As my Master told it me I now tell it thee that thou shalt tell others in thy turn. In an internet of a million sites, what is the death of one site in the cause of purity? Some may question your right to destroy ten billion furfags. Those who understand realize that you have no right to let them live.	„
—Anonymous, on furries.

Their imagination is even worse as they think of ways they might hurt the furries.

What to do if you see a furry	One suggested improvement to furry conventions	HAHAHAhuhaha >=D!	IS A THROWDOWN, A SHOWDOWN, HELL NO I CAN'T SLOW DOWN IT'S GONNA GO
This is nice until you realize it was probably made by some furfag with a head severing fetish.	What Everyone Thinks about furfags.	Scientists are currently thinking of ways to exterminate furfags.	Proper way to greet a furry
A day that's coming soon (hopefully)

Girl furries

Almost all furries are boys. However, some will act like girls. In truth, there are a few female furries, but almost all are just guys acting like girls, or girls doing things that are only furry in the vaguest sense.

Remember:

• Rule 30 still holds
• Pictures aren't real. A picture of a female furry doesn't necessarily mean a female furry exist anywhere but a furry's mind.
• Adobe® Photoshop® does marvelous work
• Some women will briefly dress as furries to please their man. Putting on cat paws to please a furry doesn't necessarily make one a furry.
• It's probably a trap

Of the remaining few that are actually female and actually furry:

• They're almost always fat and ugly
• They're almost always lesbians
• They tend to look like the girl on the right

Again with the female furfags. Notable: cam-posing and catgloves.	Furry Chicksor can be cute, But is still a furfag.	Furry in the making. Also MySpace Camwhore.	Jailhouse gay furfags wish this actually happened, ever
Believe it or not, the situation used to be worse	Furry gender reallocation success.	A furry picture that was in Playboy	Dividing by zero yields this result.
Hot Japanese girl that a furry photoshopped so he can fap to it	No way, furfags can't be female. What the fuck?!

Wikipedia drama

Since furry existence revolves around WikiEdit Drama, many of wikipedia's admins are furfags, such as: ContiE, Fennec, Furrykef, Loganberry, Wiki alf, and Wwwwolf---all of whom are the same person. There is also Krishva, who insists her childhood was destroyed forevar by furries and has made it her lifelong goal in life to make sure that web sites such as Wikipedia, are as accurate (read: white-washed) as possible. This involved making approximately eleventy gazillion edits to Wikipedia's "Furry" article and, when that didn't fulfill her need for alpha-wolf dominance, also the "Furry fandom", "Funny animal", and "Talking animal" articles.

Why in the world Wikipedia has separate articles for "Furry" and "Furry fandom" in the first place is one of the many infinitesimally trivial points being bickered about by Krishva in the various articles' talk pages. Why? Because certain furfags want to deny that furry has anything to do with sex. There is one yiff pic in existence that doesn't resemble this and they put it on their yiff article. Obsessively denying the relation between sex and furfags on wikipedia is likely the result of furry-style castration.

See also

• Otherkin
• Draconic
• User:Zippo6333/FurrMetalAlchemist

YouTube furry videos

• Furries fighting
• Jerry Springer exposing furfags to white trash.
• In an attempt to give furfags equal standing, a daring interspecies romance was made public.
• [1] [Enter accurate description of video link here.]
• Furries and You!
• Documentary on furry fandom in vancouver.
• Short segment on BBC (mention yiffing)
• Commercial furry
• Three Part Documentary. Many lulz.

External Links

http://avatars.imvu.com/0Cleopatra00

• Furry tutorial. Partly FTL, partly serious
• a UNIDRAGRYPHOENIX!!! So creative,right???
• Forum where furfags pretend to be SEKRIT SPAIS (LOL HAXXD)
• Sign the petition to get rid of furries on 4chan.
• Someone discovering the truth about furfags
• A pathetic furry counterattack on the above video
• If you have an Amazon.com account flame the fuck out of this book now
• Guide to better yiffing
• A real-life furry
• confurvatives Are you sexually attracted to cartoon animals?Do you have a really punchable face? And are you an arrogant, rich, right wing bigot who thinks you should be afforded tolerance and respect while having nothing but bitterness, intolerance and hatred for your fellow man? Then confurvatives is the community for you!
• A definitive test as to how much of a furry you are. Should be taken after every encounter with the furry menace.

For the love of God, PLEASE TROLL ASAP!

• The Love Song of J. Sprocket Fursuit
• Furry forum you can troll
• FurFace Furry Facebook (NEEDS TROLLING NOW!)
• DeviantArt
• Portal of Evil: Among other things, it shows the worst of furry pages
• furfags before the internet circa 1963
• Furnies
• often shows the phycological implications of furfags
• furry reaction to this page We are not joking about furfags. You are the most fucked up bunch of basement dwellers that have ever existed in the history of forever. Stop ruining my childhood faggots.
• furfags prepare for Furluminati takeover of federal governemnt
• True Collector's Items
• San Francisco furfags
• Furries: The other white meat
• Furry Wiki (WIKI VANDALISM? YES PLEASE) now so butthurt they blicked tor exit nodes
• [2] PROOF OF THEIR EVIL LINEAGE
• [3] Prime Example of fail on the OP's count, and typical Furfag arguments.

	Furry is part of a series on   Furfaggotry
	Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Furry is part of a series on Diseases and Disorders.

AIDS • Anorexia • Antisocial personality disorder • Asperger's Syndrome • Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder • Bipolar disorder • Borderline personality disorder • Cancer • Chronic Troll Syndrome • Depression • Diabeetus • Dwarfism • Dyslexia • Eating disorders • Erectile dysfunction • Fauxlimia • Fetal Alcohol Syndrome • Fibromyalgia • Gender dysphoria • Genital Herpes • GRIDS • Histrionic personality disorder • Homosexuality • Inconsistent personality disorder • Infantilism • Insanity • Internet disease (see also Internet Disease Chart) • Internet troll personality disorder • Multiple personality disorder • Narcissistic personality disorder • Obesity • Obsessive-compulsive disorder • Paranoia • Parkinson's Disease • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder • Psychopathy • Retardation • Sexual disorders • Sexually Transmitted Diseases • Species confusion • The Cancer That Is Killing /b/