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An Obsessive-Compulsive's Guide to the 'Friday the 13th' Movies

Filed under: Horror, Fandom

(Because we promised we'd repost this on Friday the 13th -- one of our classics from Mr. Eric D. Snider)

A few years ago, I decided a good way to spend my time would be to watch all 10 Friday the 13th movies and keep track of the statistics: how many kills, how many heroines taking showers, how many people falling down while trying to run away, etc. I was fond of the Scream series' deconstruction of the slasher genre, and it occurred to me that the Friday the 13th films -- most of which I had not seen at that point -- were probably the source of some of the oldest, ripest clichés.

So I watched them, I took notes, I wrote snarky reviews. And I also compiled the data. Now, years later, in conjunction with Cinematical's October festivities, that data is finally useful! My life's work has not been in vain!

The 10 Friday the 13th movies (I did not include Freddy vs. Jason) are fairly bursting at the seams with death and mayhem. I counted 153 deaths over the course of the decalogue, and that's out of 246 speaking parts. In other words, 62 percent of the series' cast is murdered at some point. Given that the 10 movies total 909 minutes in length (including credits), that's an average of one death every 5.94 minutes.

Parts 5, 9, and 10 have the most murders with 20 each. Parts 1 and 2, on the other hand, are almost puritan in their restraint, having just nine murders apiece.

Part 7 is noteworthy because it has 15 murders and only 21 credited actors. That means if you were in that movie, there was a 71 percent chance you would be killed.

Scenes We Love: The Empire Strikes Back

Filed under: Trailers and Clips, Scenes We Love





Thanks a lot, Harrison Ford. Between this and Raiders of the Lost Ark, the young Elisabeth Rappe was convinced adulthood would be filled with swashbuckling heroes and high romance. To this day, she has a weakness for a guy with a swagger and a crooked grin, who trusts his blaster more than the Force, and isn't afraid of tough girls who can repair spaceships.

In all seriousness, I don't think I'm alone on that -- how many of us young film fans were first introduced to romance (and sexual tension, though we didn't know what sex was) thanks to The Empire Strikes Back? Somehow, I think a lot of first kisses took place to clumsy re-enactments of this scene -- and probably a few first slaps too, come to think of it. I can think of no better scene to kick off Valentine's Day weekend with.*

And for some Han and Leia related trivia from IMDB:

  • When Lando is about to lead Han, Leia, and Chewie into the trap set by Darth Vader, Lando offers his arm to Leia, as a gesture to lead her down the hallway and she accepts it. Harrison Ford ad-libbed Han coming up behind Leia and offering his arm to her at the exact same moment to imply that Han was jealous.
  • Carrie Fisher stood on a box for many of her scenes with Harrison Ford in order to make up for the height difference and have her appear in the frame with him. Fisher is about a foot shorter than Ford.

* Actually, I can, but they're not on YouTube.



Watch This: Bobby, The Watchmen Ticket Scalper

Filed under: Fandom, Home Entertainment, Trailers and Clips



You see these guys at baseball games, basketball games, football games, rock concerts ... and pretty much anywhere there's an event taking place with tickets in high demand. Directed by Brandon Li and written by Nick Puga (who stars) and Mike Colby, this short follows a movie ticket scalper named Bobby in his attempts to scalp tickets to Watchmen on opening day.

The short won't blow you away, it's a tad on the amateur side and the secondary characters could've been stronger, but Puga's Bobby is definitely fun to watch as he nails the wise-talking, coffee-cup-holding stereotypical ticket scalper. And in this environment, outside a movie theater, the comedy works -- but I'd like to see them take it up a notch. I would've loved to see him try to talk up Watchmen like he knows all about it; screw up the names of characters ... what have you. This character has potential, and I'd be curious to see where they take him. Check it out below, and thanks to Cinematical reader Mawno for passing it along.

An Early Peek at That Chaotic 'Transformers 2' Trailer

Filed under: Action, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Paramount, Remakes and Sequels



Although the first flick has grown on me a little bit since I first saw it last summer, I still think the main problem with Michael Bay's Transformers is a big one: The script. Like, virtually all of it. When the movie sticks to the pretty visuals and dazzling mayhem, I'm fine ... which is probably why I don't have any problems with this brand-new trailer for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

The promo clip won't officially debut online until Monday on Yahoo! Movies, but a few of the Friday the 13th moviegoers were felonious enough to smuggle some video cameras into the multiplexes. Which means, basically, that you can see the clip now ... but the quality isn't all that stellar. Here's the YouTube bootleg version and here's a better one at a site called BamKapow.com.

Lastly, while scanning through the T2: ROTF page at IMDb, I noticed two new additions that have me intrigued: One is cast member Rainn Wilson, and I think that guy's really funny. The other was screenwriter Ehren Kruger, which sort of explains why this trailer has a slight "horror flick" vibe to it.

I open the floor to reactions! I'd like to get one from a guy who LOVED the first flick but think this trailer SUCKS, and one from somebody who skipped Transformers, but will DEFINITELY see this one.

Indie Spotlight: New Releases for Feb. 13

Filed under: Drama, Foreign Language, Independent, New Releases, Mystery & Suspense, Indie Spotlight

The Indie Spotlight is a weekly feature intended to remind you of new films that aren't playing on 2,000 screens and that haven't been advertised to you on TV a hundred times in the last week. For the most part, these titles are opening only in New York and will expand from there. But those of us who live elsewhere can keep an eye out for them, if not at the local art house then on DVD.

Here's what opens today:
  • Two Lovers, starring Joaquin Phoenix as a man who comes home to Brooklyn and falls for Vinessa Shaw, while his parents want him to marry Gwyneth Paltrow. It's mostly raves at Rotten Tomatoes, including a glowing review from Cinematical's Kim Voynar (who saw it at Cannes last year), calling it "thoughtful, evocative, and more true to real human existence than most of the dreck that comes out of Hollywood studios."
  • Gomorra, an unglamorous look at modern-day organized crime in Italy, won the top prize at Cannes and has hauled in several wins at other festivals, too. It was Italy's submission for this year's foreign language category at the Oscars, but the silly-heads at the Academy failed to nominate it. (It was nominated for a Golden Globe, but honestly, what wasn't?) Cinematical's James Rocchi contributes to the film's 87% approval rating at Rotten Tomatoes by comparing it to TV's The Wire and calling it "a sweeping, stirring film that has the shoot-and-loot tension of the best crime cinema but also has the scope and serious intent of great drama."
  • The Caller, a corporate mystery thriller starring Frank Langella and Elliott Gould. Both actors are earning praise, but nine of the ten reviews at Rotten Tomatoes are scathing. It's only playing at one theater in Manhattan and will show up on DVD in a few weeks anyway. But, just for the record, here it is on the list.

Insert Caption: Two Lovers

Filed under: Fandom, Contests, Insert Caption

Welcome back to another edition of Insert Caption -- the game you can totally give your girlfriend for Valentine's Day. Last week we asked you to chuck out a caption for a photo from He's Just Not That Into You, and luckily three of you stepped up with a little somethin' somethin' we were all into. Congrats to you ...

1. "You wanna know why he's not that into you? Because you spell your name Ginnifer. Not Jennifer, like us." -- Timmy B.

2. "No, really. Then they rip the wax off, and the hair comes with it." -- Charles P.

3. "After a few years of subpar movie paydays, this was the moment Jennifer Aniston realized that maybe a "Friends" reunion movie wouldn't be that bad." -- Eric W.

See full image and all captions

This week, in honor of Valentine's Day (which is tomorrow!), we're celebrating the much buzzed-about (for several different reasons) Two Lovers, starring actor-turned-rapper Joaquin Phoenix, Gwyneth Paltrow and Vinessa Shaw. While we prepare for the onslaught of Joaquin-related jokes, let me tell you what's at stake: One Grand Prize winner will slide away with two Two Lovers American Express gift certificates for a romantic dinner, ten Two Lovers Landmark ticket comps and three Magnolia produced DVDs, while two runner-ups will each receive six Two Lovers Landmark ticket comps and three Magnolia produced DVDs. This is a good one, folks, so give us all you've got in the comments section below ...



Read the official rules for this contest

SXSW Rounds Out Line-Up; Blogger Wets Pants

Filed under: Comedy, Drama, Horror, Independent, Music & Musicals, Romance, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Thrillers, SXSW, Mystery & Suspense, Shorts, RumorMonger

As it turns out, I lied to all of you last week when I said that next month's SXSW Film Festival had announced its full line-up -- and I couldn't have been happier. It looks like those awesome Austin-ites are bringing summer in March, specifically 500 Days of Summer, the one apparently adorable title I particularly pined for as a non-Sundance-ite.

But wait! There's more! In addition to six picks from the Fantastic Fest crew that have yet to be announced (and are as eagerly awaited by yours truly as anything else), SXSW is bringing Broken Lizard's latest (The Slammin' Salmon), an Iron Maiden tour doc (Flight 666), Jason Eisener's already acclaimed horror-comedy short (Treevenge), and a handful of other features and shorts programs.

Between all of that and all of this, I can honestly say that I'm the most psyched for this fest than I have been in the past three years (nothing personal, Matt!), and again, you can be sure to hear plenty more from our lot in just a couple of weeks.

Megan Fox Gets Pissed & More First Looks

Filed under: Horror, Images

I never got the Megan Fox love. I can appreciate sexy women, but everything I saw on the young sexpot just didn't intrigue me ... until now. Entertainment Weekly has thrown up a whole slew of First Looks into movies and television show appearances, and I'm ready to see more Fox.

To the right is Ms. Fox dressed up, bloody, and pissed in Jennifer's Body. You might remember that this gig has her playing a mean teen possessed by a demon, who takes a "Lestat" sort of approach to killing. Fox says: "she takes revenge on men who she secretly hated her whole life anyway. I've always hated boys, so I identified with that very easily." (Sorry, boys. And please let this mean that "Maneater" is on the soundtrack...) If this image is any indication, Megan needs to get into some more excellent tough chica roles stat. Cast her, Joss Whedon!

There's also image love for I Love You, Man, Will Ferrell as Dubya, and an unrecognizable Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange in Grey Gardens -- an upcoming HBO film about the Bouviers. But my other favorite image has to go to the lovely Lauren Graham who looks amazing in 30's garb for Guys and Dolls. She really needs to get cast in some solid retro fare... Too bad she's too old to play Zelda Fitzgerald.

Oh God, Here We Go: Kevin James Gets Another Starring Gig

Filed under: Comedy, Casting

Just last month I wondered why Kevin James comes off as so comically inoffensive. Most of you commented on his lack of starring roles, and the fact that he hasn't been in our faces enough to inspire the vitriol spewed towards the likes of other disappointing funny men.

But now that might change -- Variety reports that the producers behind Paul Blart: Mall Cop are giving James another starring role, this time in Frank Coraci's The Zookeeper. Just call him Kevin 'The Keeper of Public Places' James. For this flick, written by Jay Sherick and David Ronn, James will play a zookeeper who plans to leave his job because he can't seem to meet a girl, only to have the animals intervene. Move over Ace Ventura!

Producer Todd Garner says that James was always a first choice because of his talents in physical comedy. Maybe, I guess, but I at least hope that they don't shuffle him into this unrealistically goofy and out-to-lunch Blartish role again. James is better with the sarcasm (just watch him talk about renting a car), and to leave that behind could very well thrust him into Murphy disappointment in a jiff.

Discuss: When Do You Recast a Character?

Filed under: Casting, RumorMonger, Angelina Jolie, Comic/Superhero/Geek, Remakes and Sequels



With yesterday's Wachkowski Bros / Superman rumor came the inevitable speculation as to who would be the man to fill out Superman's underoos. Would Brandon Routh return? Does a reboot mean he's out, and someone like Jon Hamm might be in? It might just be my imagination, but it seems like there's a reluctance to see Routh get the boot. Fandom has been mixed on his performance in Superman Returns but hell, fandom is mixed on Returns in general. As much as we might want a fresh start, it seems a bit unfair and strange to recast Superman already.

But what is the time frame on recasting? From the general hysteria that surrounded the Angelina Jolie-less Tomb Raider reboot, I'd say the general public feels like the actor or actress in question ought to be dead and buried. (I'm not talking about the Cinematical readers, who handled it in an objective manner. I'm thinking of regular news outlets who breathlessly announced "Jolie booted from Tomb Raider?!" As if she was weeping copiously over losing her twin semi-automatics, and not racking up Changeling nominations.)

Yet only a mild disappointment has followed rumors that Edward Norton might be replaced as The Incredible Hulk -- though we were all pretty shocked that they were remaking/recasting the character so soon after Eric Bana went green. Maybe a general numbness has set in when it comes to Bruce Banner, though, because fandom seems to simmer with a threat of violence should Christopher Nolan recast the Joker.

What would the reaction be if they recast Wolverine? Tony Stark? Would it be safe to recast the Fantastic Four?

It's a question worth putting out there. Which characters (and it doesn't have to be comic book related -- any franchise will do for the discussion. Throw in Axel Foley or Jack Sparrow if you want.) can safely be recast? Is there a time limit? Does it depend purely on the performance? Is any character truly untouchable?











 

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