Spaniard admits Arsenal are out of the title race

Arsenal are languishing in fifth place, seventeen points off the pace with twelve Premier League games left to play. Injured midfielder Cesc Fabregas appears to have been informed of this situation, and has today made the shocking announcement that his side may not win the league this year:

“It’s not realistic to look at the league title now. You can never say never but we would not be intelligent to be looking right to the top of the league. To be intelligent now is to go game by game and think about who is directly in front of us.”

In addition to this ‘intelligent’ revelation, Fabregas also revealed that the world is round, cats don’t get along with dogs, and cars need petrol to make them go vroom vroom.

[Goal.com]

Chelsea fancy themselves against 14-time world champion

When Big Phil Scolari joined Chelsea in the summer, he established a rapport with his squad by joining in with their second favourite game - darts. Despite never having played before, the World Cup winning manager showed a natural talent for it, and was only bettered by Joe Cole and John Terry.

The Chelsea squad even take their dart board to away games, and have become so confident that they fancy their chances against the most successful darts player of all time. A journalist friend of The Spoiler recently interviewed Phil Taylor, who revealed that he has accepted a challenge to face the entire Chelsea first team.

According to Taylor, JT is very passionate about his hobby, and even refers to himself as John ‘The Power’ Terry.

Gunners’ figures defy the crunch, but how much longer will their financial health last?

On the day that Mike Ashley has been forced to plough £10m of his own cash into Newcastle to cover operating costs, Arsenal have announced that their profits have risen £4.5m to £24.5m before tax for the six months ending 30 November 2008.

Matchday revenue and broadcasting revenue both increased (by £.3m and £4.5m respectively), and problems shifting the properties on the old Highbury are not as drastic as previously reported; the 186 apartments are valued at £76.7m, and they had already sold £58.1m by November 2008.

Chairman Peter Hill-Wood told the BBC:

“Clearly there are some significant challenges ahead of us, both on and off the pitch, over the closing months of this financial year and beyond.

“The UK property market has been particularly affected by the economic downturn and, inevitably, this has had an impact on the group’s own property development activities.”

While these figures represent a picture of fiscal health, the Arsenal board must be mighty concerned by their reliance on Champions League money. According to Simon Chadwick, a professor in sport business strategy and marketing, English clubs have made an average of £34.39m from reaching the knockout stages of this year’s competition, and the eventual winner will make up to £98.69m.

Arsenal recorded a net debt of £318.1 million for the year ending 30 May 2008, including £250.2 million borrowed for building the Emirates Stadium (part of a 23-year loan at a fixed interest rate).

If the club fail to clinch fourth spot in the Premier League, thier delicate financial model could start to crumble.

Adidas pays footballer and b’baller to dick around

Remember 2008? Nobody cared about Lady Gaga and her indifferent attitude to trousers, Twitter wasn’t lowering office productivity on a global scale and David Beckham was still welcome in the United States of America.

Before he tried to escape from the land of hope and glory, Mr B filmed an Adidas advert that featured Missy Elliot, The Ting Tings, Katy Perry and loads of other terribly important people at a ‘house party’.

The German sports clothing manufacturer have since released a clip of the Milan loaner mucking around in the driveway with Boston Celtics behemoth Kevin Garnett. Instead of testing each other at their respective sports, Beckham and Garnett devise a Baseketball-style hyrbid of football and basketball. If the editing is to be believed, Beckham comes away looking like the coolest man on earth, while Garnett’s skills do not match up to his ability to shout slogans.

[Off The Post]

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Once a baseball WAG, always a baseball WAG

Star of highly lauded films including Lost in Translation, Vicky Christina Barcelona and the unforgettable Home Alone 3, Scarlett Johansson has become an American institution during her 24 years on this mortal coil.

At some point, her really big boobs superb acting talents caught the eye of New York Yankees captain Derek Jeter - a man whose bedpost notches includes Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Tyra Banks, Minka Kelly and Brazilian supermodel Adriana Lima.

Jeter had his way with Scarlett in 2004, but he clearly had other things to do, and they quickly parted ways. She is currently married to Van Wilder.

Toronto Maple Leafs man improvises after his stick breaks

When an ice hockey player breaks his stick, he usually looks for someone to blame and consequently beat up. Torotno Maple Leafs centre Dominic Moore, however, defied convention and continued in his quest to get the puck into the net using techniques he picked up from a far superior sport.

NHL rules prevent a player from scoring with his foot, which is why Moore passes to his teammate instead of going for glory himself.

[WithLeather]

Someone didn’t take the FA Cup defeat very well

On Tuesday night, Blackburn Rovers were dumped out of the FA Cup by Coventry City, the side who also spanked them 4-1 at Ewood Park in the same competition last year. Striker Jason Roberts has landed himself in hot water after a 17-year-old Sky Blue fan let him know how rubbish his team is. The Sun reports:

Premier League ace Jason Roberts punched a jubilant 17-year-old fan in the face after the lad’s side dumped Blackburn out of the FA Cup, it was claimed yesterday.

Police were called when the striker, 30, allegedly flipped as he boarded his team’s coach home.

Shocked witnesses, including an off-duty cop, said the £3million star vaulted a barrier to belt the jeering Coventry City supporter.

A ‘member of Coventry City staff’ (that’ll be a steward) said the youngster had facial injuries from the shocking incident, but no arrests have been made.

If the mouthy fan wants revenge, he’ll get at least two opportunities next season when the clubs meet in the Championship.

Arsenal keeper humiliates his butch dog

He may have kept a clean sheet against Roma on Tuesday night, but Arsenal shot stopper Manuel Almunia is clearly in a bad mood. Yesterday, he decided to take his frustration out on his dog (one of those little yappy Terriers), which he paraded around north London on a pink lead and with a pink neon jacket. Only Paris Hilton’s dog has been subjected to humiliation worse than this.

We would have provided a picture of this flagrant animal cruelty, but stealing pictures from tabloid newspapers seems to make their lawyers unhappy for some reason. To see Almunia’s fierce mutt for yourself, click here.

UPDATE: Mad props to our girls at Kickette, who have provided a picture of Almunia’s canine artrocity

Reds steal Spanish victory, Pensioners defeat Old Lady

Real Madrid 0/ Liverpool 1
Fernando Torres didn’t manage to break his Bernebeu goal curse, but finally had the honour of playing in a side that defeated Real Madrid last night. Yossi Benayoun’s late strike at Rafa Benitez’s old stomping ground put the gaffer in a jubilant mood, giving him cause to quash the departure rumours that circulated yesterday:

“Believe me, I am staying. I know all about the news in England but I can tell you I am thinking to stay and I want to work hard for this club.”

Chelsea 1/ Juventus 0
Meanwhile in west London, Didier Drogba showed his new lease of life under Guus Hiddink by sending Juventus back to Italy with nothing to show for. Roman Abramovich, who skipped across the pitch with Bono and The Edge after the final whistle, was clearly satisfied.

Spoiler bonus: Highlights of Bayern Munch’s demolition of Sporting and Villarreal’s draw with Panathinaikos after the jump…