/a/ you are wonderful

Never change, /a/. Never change.
Also thank you anonymous writefag.
Edit: Okayokay I’ll post all of it as it gets posted!

Here is this awesome Schneizel x Kannon’s hat fanfic that’s being posted on /a/~

Part 1

Kannon held his hat protectively in his fair hands as he walked slowly to Prince Schneizel’s office.

He knew that this constant sexual activities with his delicate hat and his prince where not going to be a good thing. His hat had seemed heaver than usual, it’s usual soft silk, feeling more dry than usual. He had gotten it cleaned numerous times but nothing seemed to do a thing.

So this is what had brought Kannon to Schneizel, his features dark with the uneasy feeling building inside him to tell the Prince the news.

He knocked on the door, and entered quickly, Schneizel sitting at his desk, seemingly busy with the paperwork on the table.

“Oh Kannon, what is it?”

“Um, your highness. I’m not sure how to tell you this…”

“What is ever wrong? You look a lot sick.” Even with considerate words, Schneizel usual expression didn’t change.

“You see, Schneizel-sama, my hat, this hat, it’s well… it’s pregnant. And you’re the father.”

“Schneizel-sama, hurry! The hat, it’s time!” Kannon Maldini moved the hat quickly onto the large bed that lay in the Second Prince’s privet quarters. He placed the hat down on the soft sheets, kneeling down on the floor to caress the sore hat.

Schneizel walked lazily across the room, not really interested is such a stupid thing. “I don’t see why I need to be here Kannon, you can care care of this silly thing well on your own.”

“Schneizel-sama!” Kannon yelled in horror. “How could you say such things in front of the hat! And during this time! The least you can do it try to comfort it.”

Schnezel took a seat in on of his lavish chairs, watching uninterested as Kannon prodded over the silly hat, whispering to it as the hour clocked on.

Finally, Kannon stood up in glee, holding out 3 tiny hats, almost identical to the original. Only there were more streaks of gold through the silk that matched Schneizel’s own blond hair.

“Those are…” Schneizel’s eye’s gleamed at such a sight, Kannon too excited over the new birth to notice the look in his eyes, went on about what names they should give the newborns.

A few weeks passed, Kannon’s hat return back to it’s normal gleam on top of Kannon’s head and the 3 little hats grew quickly into maturity.

“Kannon, I was wondering if I could have some time alone with the hats this afternoon.” Schneizel asked off-handedly. It had felt like years since their birth and The Prince could no longer contain himself from those hats.

“Oh that’s wonderful Your Highness! I was beginning to worry when you hadn’t been spending any time with them! I think they would enjoy that!” Kannon clasped his hands in front of him as he smiled, over joyed that Schneizel was finally opening up to his “children.”

“Good. I’d like 2 hours alone. You may come to get us after that. But I would not like to be bother before that.” He gave his orders clearly as he grabbed the hats from Kannon’s open arms.

“Yes, your highness.”

Schneizel took not time stripping down completely. He wanted to enjoy this as much as he could, without the restraints of his clothing. He lined the hats up on a pillow, running a finger along the one of the right, feeling his erection harden.

“Yes, you will do well first.” He pucked the hat off the pillow in one swift movement, bringing it down to his arousal. He tested it first, rubbing his wet tip against the new silky fabric. They were still somewhat small, they weren’t as sturdy has Kannon’s hat either; but they would surly do well enough.

He wrapped the first hat around his shaft, taking no time to move his hand quickly up and down. They felt amazing. He hadn’t had much sexual released lately, other than the few blow jobs Kannon had offered him, but it just wanted the same as a hat.

His breathing caught in his throat as he felt his stomach tighten, releasing his hot liquid into the now crumpled hat. He tossed it to the side quickly, somewhat disappointed.

Letting his eyes wonder back to the other 2 hats, he looked at the one in the middle and smiled.

“You can do a better job pleasuring me, can’t you?”

Schneizel lay on his back, rubbing the next hat slowly along his cock feeling it harden with each movement. “Mm, yeah that’s how I like it.” He jerked his hips upward, as if the hat had the control and was teasing him. “Don’t play with me you slutty rag.” He jerked his wrist, finally surrounding himself with the moist fabric.

He moved quickly, the urgency for his release growing and he thrusted fast and faster, moaning loud as his climax hit, his cum shooting out onto the awaiting hat and his abdomen.

He sat up slowly, throwing the hat onto the floor as he reach up and took the last hat sitting quickly on the pillow and letting his tongue move slowly along it’s fabric.

“Those two have been a disappointment. Do you think you can live up to my expectations?”

The little hat didn’t answer and Schneizel took no more time playing a game with the last hat and thrusted into it quickly. His cock was still sensitive from coming only moments before, but it took no time for him to harden quickly and feel his climax become closer.

“Oh fuck. Why aren’t you as good as that cum rag mother of yours? God, I just don’t feel satisfied with you at all…” Schneizel leaned forward, moving his hips quicker, about to come when he heard someone scream.

He looked over quickly to see Kannon standing there, horror written across his face, grabbing the hat off his head and hiding it beside his back as to hide such a scene from his own hat.


Schneziel, his erection still not gone decided to ignore Kannon, making a few more thrusts, but suddenly feeling the fabric rip against him, his cum shooting onto his expensive bed sheets.

“OH GOD THE HAT! THE POOR HAT!” Kannon ran over to the bed, grabbing the now broken hat from Schneizel’s sweaty hands. “No, no, no, no.”

Schneizel sat up calmly, jumping off his bed as he walked over and began dressing slowly. “I thought I told you two hours Kannon.”

“Your highness… how could you do this… all three of them.” Kannon now had all three hats laying in his hands, his own hat now laying on the floor my the door way.

“I wanted to see what they could do. They’ve all failed though, I have no use for them anymore.” He finished dressing, walking over to Kannon’s hat that lay on the floor alone. “Oh so you’ve come as well. I’m disappointed in your off-spring. You can take them and leave me forever. You’ve lost your usefulness to me.”

He said nothing more, his voice cold and emotionless as he left the room, only Kannon’s cries could be heard in the background.

Days later, after the third hat spend a few nights in the intensive care ward abroad the Avalon, Kannon took the hat family and sent them away, hopeful that they could find a better life somewhere away from Schneizel’s obsession.

He couldn’t bring himself to leave Schneizel’s side, even after all of this, Kannon owed him too much. But Kannon watched as the days passed afterwards, Schneizel become somewhat distraught.

“Your highness, are you all right? You seem upset these past few days.”

The second prince said nothing at first, his eyes looking as if they were some place far away. Finally he looked up at Kannon, frowning at his hatless head.

“Kannon… I miss the hat.”


Kannon sat unhappy in his small privet room, legs crosses as he sat in the chair on the far side of the room looking pensively at the single bed against the wall.

“You’re here in secret. We mustn’t let His Highness know that you are all here.” His bit his bottom as he looked at the hats lined up on the bed, this was their idea after all. Kannon would be taking no part in their revenge against His Highness.

“Very well then. You know when he retires to his bedroom for the night. I doubt know if I’ll be able to help you if anything goes wrong.”

He looked at the hats, knowing there were not about to stop now, not after waiting all these months for this moment.

“Very well.”

Schneizel el Britanna walked slowly into his bedchambers. Even though his body felt tired, his mind was restless. The battle had been long today, much longer than was needed. Some people were so stubborn. Did they just not know when to give up?

He stripped off his coat and gloves, kicking off his shoes before finally collapsing on to the bed. He closed his eyes, letting his forearm drape over his eyes before he felt something strange plop onto his stomach.

“What in the world….?”

It was Kannon’s hat. More specifically, his hat! His dear lover whom he had missed since it had been sent away.

“How did you get here? Where is Kannon. What-” But his line of questioning was cut off as he felt one of the smaller hats fall on to his mouth. For some reason he felt panic begin to raise in side of him as he felt the hat push a part of itself in to his mouth. What was happening?

Suddenly, without being able to concentrate on anything other than breathing through his nose; he felt his cock being pulled out of his pants, the shaft rubbing up against the soft silk. He muffled a moan, feeling saliva run down his chin, thrusting his hips forward in hopes of more contact.

Schneizel closed his eyes, as he felt the last two hats fall onto his chest. This couldn’t be happening. How could be possibly be getting raped by his own hats of all things?

Slowly he felt his white dress shirt be pushed up, as the final who hats made their way to his nipples. Schneizel threw his head back, the sensations of their silk against his chest and the relentless rubbing against his aching cock was beginning to drive him mad.

He wanted to sit up now and fuck Kannon’s hat senseless. Tell them he was sick of playing this game now, but he couldn’t move. His eyes shot open in fear as his hole body felt weak, save for his pounding erection.

It was hat #3, whom had put itself into his mouth. He had been drugged. This was now offically rape.

He wanted to yell out for Kannon, surely he would come to save him from this situation. But he was helpless now, and these hats were about have their way with him.

He felt Kannon’s hat tighten around his cock, moving achingly slowly. He let out a small cry, almost chocking on hat #3 who still hadn’t removed itself from his mouth.

Just end this already. He kept yelling in his mind, tears moistening his eyes because of the lack of oxygen and the lack of release.

Hats 1 and 2 remainded steady in their movements, the skin on his nipples becoming sore. If this continued much longer, he might not have skin left on his chest.

Finally Kannon’s hat seemed to grow tired of his torture, quickening its pace as hats 1 & 2 decided to move down his body slowly, rubbing slowly down his now exposed legs, their soft fabric sending shifters up his spin.

They found their place on both sides of his balls, taking no time to find the same rhythm as their mother, teasing Schneizel even more.

He was going mad. He needed to cum this second. Please, please, please, haven’t you had enough? He said to himself, hoping somehow they would magically hear his thoughts.

Slowly Kannon’s hat stopped at the top of his shaft, running itself over his wet tip, enjoying seeing Schneizel be the one begging for once.

Satisfied with the look for pure torture on Schneizel face, his eyes shut tightly, sweat running down his forehead as his flushed a deep red, Kannon’s hat continued it’s thrusting, the other two hats never stopping with their attack on Schneizel balls.

Suddenly, he felt his whole body stiffen, hat #3 putting itself out of his mouth allowing him to let out a coarse scream; as he threw back his head, cum shooting up on to his chest.

The hats slide off his body quickly, leaving Schneizel spread helpless across his bed, eyes glossed over from such an intense organism.

The bedroom door opened slowly and Schneizel somehow found the strength to turn his head to see Kannon’s figure walk into the room, leaning down to pick up the hats.

“Your highness, it seems even karma is a thing that you cannot escape.” And with that Kannon walked out out the room, leaving Schneizel unable to give any sort of reply.

When I was a young man

Schneizel sat back in his throne, his three tiny hat children resting quietly on this thigh. They had ask if he had always loved mama the most, and being the type of man he was, he wasn’t about to like to impressionable children.

“No children. A long time ago, long before things are as they have become to today, I met the most wondrous hat I’ve ever seen…….

It was while Marianne, Lelouch and Nunnally still lived in the palace and he had come to visit them one afternoon. Clovis had been staying there as well for a few weeks and had talked Marieanne into allowing him to paint their portrait to hang in the palance.

He had been allowed to sit in and watch Clovis do his work, though Nunnally had found it more fun to run around and hang over Schneizel, whining that he wanted to play game with him instead.

Schneizel smiled, knowing the perfect game to get Nunnally to participate in. He leaned down, wispering in his ear as the others continued to call her over.

“Once Clovis-nii is done with his painting, I want you to bring your mother’s hat to be. If you can do that, you win the game.”

Schneizel sat down and watched patiently as Clovis did his wonders on the painting. He tried to hold back a smile has he watch Nunnally continue to look up at her mother’s head and the beautiful white hat which sat there on top of it.

He was getting excited just thinking about it. Soon that hat would be his and he would lock himself up in his room and have his way with such a slutty looking hat, it would be appropriate first his first time actually fucking a hat. It had been a strange fetish he had discovered. It might have steamed from the fact that he had lost his virginity with a women of the court who wore the most outlandish hat the whole time during sex.

Yes, that had to of been the reason. But now that he had finally found something so suitable, and not something a disgusting as a shirt or a rag, his excitement was bubbling to the surface.

Clovis yelled in excitement, completing the painting after much hard work, and Schneizel’s eyes immediately looked over a Nunnally who had stood up on the love-seat and reached to grab the gorgeous hat from her mother’s head.

The Second Prince stood up quickly, watching as Lelouch yelled after her, probably to take the hat back in his possession. He wasn’t about to let that happen.

Thankfully Nunnally made it to him quickly, holding the hat up into his waiting hands, smiling at him and yelling ,”I won the game Nii-sama! I won the game!”

Schneizel took the opportunity, hat placed under his arm to walk quickly from the room, Clovis and Lelouch yelling at him, confused.

Alone by himself, with only Marianne’s hat as his company, he felt his heart begin to race. This was it, finally the moment he had been waiting for.

He unzipped his pants with a shaky hand, his cock already semi-hard with anticipation. He let his hands run through the soft blue ribbons that adorned the hat, yes this would be very pleasurable.

Slowly he trusted into the loops of ribbons, enjoying the odd sensation they created against his cock. He bit back a moan as he trusted faster and faster into the softness. This was better than any women he decided. Better than anything his own hand could give him as well.

“Fuck- yes.” He pulled himself out from the mess of blue, rubbing his dick along the soft sides of the hat, the silk sending amazing sensations.

His thrusting continued, not letting up on the poor hat that was not made for such fierce actions against it. He gripped the sides of the hat too hard, feeling the framing crack inside. Seems like Marianne would not be getting her hat back at all now.

Let leading his back against the wall, to keep himself from falling over as his knees became weak. He was so close, only a little more.

He fucked the ribbons again, missing their sensations, as he let out a deep moan, his body shuddering as let out line after line of sticky cum into the now ravished ribbons.

“That… was amazing.” He said to no one in particular, letting the hat fall from his hands and onto the floor in a hot sticky mess.

He cleaned himself up quickly before turning his attention to the hat again. He couldn’t very well take it out of the room now and it was no longer any good for future fucking. He let out a sigh, as he picked it up quickly, walking to the window on the other side of the room.

He opened the frame, enjoying the cool breeze on his still flushed cheek, letting the broken hat fall the three stories down into the depth of the palace garden. There, the problem was solved……

“No one asked me what became of the hat after that and Marianne didn’t seem too concerned of it’s well-being. I did have a good laugh when I happened to see one of the maids walking through the palace on day, with that same fucked hat upon her head.”


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