Out of curiosity I read the flier jammed in my front door by the ever persistent Jehovah's Witness minion doing penance by littering my neighborhood with propaganda printed on 0% post consumer waste with lead ink. The flier (impersonal invitation), which I've saved as proof of the idiocy, asks "How can you survive the end of the world?" as if the Witnesses have been chosen to know just when that will be and how to survive it.
Here's the deal with that... uh, if it really is the end of the world... will there really be any reason to survive it? Secondly, if you're organization is going to try to use fear to bait me to join this silly discourse which will undoubtedly be more strongly focused on where I can donate money than to explain how to survive the end of the world I'll skip it.
The ever tacky colored drawing of scores of people walking up a hill out of a lightening storm to the brightly lit hilltop doesn't comfort me any. Instead it points out that my fashion sense is far too advanced to be welcomed into the Jehovah's Witness "protection".
Ironic since the flier aims to alarm the recipient that in smaller text reads, "You are warmly invited to come and listen to the answer." Again, nothing warm and fuzzy about how a religion will make the end of the world more tolerable. Why would I intentionally suffer through the end of the world with people who have been invited to learn, among other things, that they must (and I quote from said flier):
- Stay Awake as Christians (sleep deprivation is a known torture technique - special)
- Know That the End is Near (whatever the fuck that means)
- Imitate Jesus' Example of Watchfulness (proven to be quite effective)
- Keep in Expectation, Watching for Jehovah's Day (is that anything like St. Patrick's Day?)
Adding further insult to injury, there is a free offer for a book titled "What does the Bible Really Teach". Can't find that one at Barnes & Noble stores or online at least not anywhere near the education section. Maybe listed under religious fanatics? The question I have is about how The Bible is able to teach anything? It is a historical work of fiction, reflecting possible explanations for unexplainable events - a collection of stories.
So, after much thought, I must admit that despite the alluring art and scary words, I'm going to have to skip this year's "Keep on the Watch" festival of fatuousness. I'm guessing that if the end really is near, well, I undoubtedly won't really be in any position to do anything about it. Additionally, and this applies to any/all religions: I don't respond to threats of impending doom, solicitation, begging, and injudiciousness. Please, stop with the annoying fliers in the mail or in my doorjamb. Don't come to my door with your religion ringing my bell. If (and that's a big IF) I'm ever at the point where I'm ready for an organized religion, well I'll simply come to you. Oh, and it will most definitely NOT be Jehovah's Witness "protection".
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