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Shakespeare
knew everything ...everything

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Catherine was anxiously waiting near the fire, waiting for her Vincent! She was growing impatient...looking at the clock, and pondering what could be taking him so long!
She had given him directions over 10 minutes ago...
directions to her bathroom, when suddenly she
heard Vincent from the confines of the bathroom, clear
his throat and ask,
"Catherine have you any more toilet paper?"
"Here Vincent, you'll have to open the door"
Vincent said, "It's unlocked,
but I can't reach it as I am in a
bit of a 'situation' here.... Catherine."
Catherine replied, "I'll leave it at the door then Vincent"
"Never mind, I will just use this catalog here like we
do in the tunnels!"
Catherine quickly said,  "Oh no! Vincent don't use..."
Vincent shockingly said,
"Catherine!! What IS this "stuff" you read?!!!"
Stuttering a little Catherine embarrassingly said,
"Wooooaa,  Just a little porn Vincent...why?
"Eh...ummmmm...Catherine! WOW! Oh this stuff is so
graphic Catherine...and you read it, I'm shocked."
Catherine tries to hold her giggles in and says,
"Well Vincent, one has to do something to get rid of ones
‘frustrations’...I wouldn't need those catalogues
if...if...Oh you know what I am getting at, don't you?"
Vincent answered, "Yes Catherine, I know, we might just have to do something about that then, can't have a frustrated lady
on my hands now, can I?"
"Vincent what's that noise?".
"Catherine, what are all these buttons for on this
toilet seat? And I just noticed this seat is warm too".
"Oh Vincent, I forgot to tell you about that, it's one
of those hi-tec toilets, I got it imported from
Japan! You don't actually need toilet paper, as it
gives you a wash and blow dry!"
Catherine could hear
the water swooshing and the dryer going and going and
she wondered what Vincent could be taking so long
doing? She stealthily peaked around the corner into
the bathroom and gasped as she saw Vincent with his
head in the toilet! She screeched, "Vincent you
are not supposed to wash your hair in there!" He stood
up startled by Catherine with his hair the
wildest, fluffiest and fullest Catherine had ever seen
it! As Catherine got over the initial shock of seeing
Vincent with his head in the hi-tec toidy, she went
into an uncontrollable fit of laughter, with tears
streaming down her face. Once she had gotten control of
herself she looked seductively at Vincent. "He looks
so, so cute and innocent" she thought. "Oh Vincent, what
am I going to do with you?" Catherine then thought, "I
know what I'd LIKE to do with you!” "Catherine!" said
Vincent in an astonished manner. "Your thoughts are
wicked!" Catherine grinned as she gave Vincent the
eye, "Yes, they are...aren't they?" Catherine then
said, "Now get over here Vincent...don't be afraid!"
Vincent walked over to Catherine not sure what she had
in mind to do to him, She held out her hand, and smiled
a passionate smile and said, here Vincent I can do it
better for you if you are sitting down." Vincent walked
toward his Catherine and sat down where she indicated,
and as she nestled in close to him, she picked up her
golden boar bristled brush, and said,  "Let me see if I
can work through those tangles for you!"
"Ow...ouch! Catherine, that really hurt.”
"I know, I'm sorry Vincent, well you would put your head down the
toilet! I think we may have to put you in the shower
and get some conditioner on that head.”
Vincent stood and said, "What ever you say
Catherine..." Catherine enforced, it is the only way
Vincent." Let me show you where everything
is...use this shampoo first, and then this
conditioner. Just yell if you need any help..."
"Oh, and there are plenty towels in the bathroom, just
use as many as you need...I mean, you have a LOT of
hair there" .A few minutes later Catherine heard a weird
noise coming from the bathroom. She moved closer and
put her ear to the door.
She giggled as she heard Vincent "singing!"
As Catherine listened intently at the bathroom door,
suddenly there was a few seconds of silence, followed
by the first words of a song Catherine hadn't heard in
a long time. Vincent began to sing "Is this the real
life?, Is this just fantasy?"...Catherine
couldn't believe what she was hearing, and thought
"Surely this amazing man couldn't know all the words
to Bohemian Rhapsody...could he?" Catherine rushed to
her CD case to get her "A Night At The Opera" CD, and
took out the booklet with all the words in it, as she
herself didn't know all of them. She sat down outside
the bathroom door, and followed the words as Vincent
sang them all, word perfect, he never missed Gallileo! As
he finished with the words, "Nothing really
matters, anyone can see..nothing really matters..
Nothing really matters to me...Catherine let out a
smile as a tear rolled down her cheek. And she thought
just how much she loved this intelligent, caring and
adorable man of hers..."Anywhere the wind blows...."
Suddenly she heard a thump...poor Vincent had
slipped in the shower!!! When she called his name, he
didn't answer her...she thought "Oh No!! I have
to check on him to see if he is all right!!!"
Catherine slowly stepped into the bathroom and saw
Vincent lying on the floor just outside the shower
door and called out his name again" Vincent...Vincent
can you hear me?" Catherine quickly looked around and
picked the largest towel she could find to cover
Vincent. "Good job he is lying face down!" she
thought. (Oh sure she did!) She heard a moan and got down on her knees to check on Vincent, and he looked at her and said, "what
happened Catherine?" Catherine smoothed his hair from
his eyes and said, "You must have slipped in the shower
Vincent, Do you think that you are injured anywhere?"
Vincent started to move and said, "No I don't think so
Catherine..."Just then he started to stand up and
Catherine said..."No don't stand up Vincent!!"
Vincent blushed and said, "Of course not Catherine, I
was not thinking! Pardon me, I forget that it is
different in your world. You see after 10 o’clock in
the Tunnels, it is transformed into a Nudist Colony
where we all run free and unencumbered...Forgive me
Catherine." Catherine could feel a blush rise from her
neck and said "Really Vincent? Now I just can't
picture Father making his way through the Tunnels
flaunting his wares for all to see". Vincent tried to
stifle his laughter, but it was no use, his body shook
as his laughter over came him. Catherine collapsed on
top of his back and said amusingly "Vincent Wells, you
had me there!" As Vincent held Catherine's gaze he had
a mischievous smile in his eyes that gave Catherine
cause to ask..."You were joking weren't you
Vincent?!!!! I mean that could not possibly be going on
in the tunnels could it?! I mean a Tunnel Nudist
Colony?!! With Mary, Mouse, Pascal, and Oh God
forbid...William?! Vincent tipped his head back and
silently laughed and said, "Yes Catherine...I was
jesting." Amorously Catherine then said, "However
you...you Vincent, I am sure would be a vision
to behold.... You are so beautiful." Vincent, in a
deep husky whisper passionately asked, "Catherine...how
do you personally feel about running around naked?"
Catherine looked at Vincent seductively through her
bangs and said "Well I have on occasions closed the
drapes and just sauntered about without a stitch
on, it's wonderful! Makes me feel so 'free spirited' and
is rather comfortable.” Vincent looked invitingly into
Catherine's eyes and said, "Catherine how would you feel
about a 'saunter' at this very minute?" Catherine
gasped in shock and said "Oh Vincent, I am sure I would
never be able to control my desires if I were to end
up running around here in the nude with you!"
Vincent then said, "Nor could I Catherine...nor could I..." Vincent
took his lovely Catherine's hand in his and said, 'It
was merely a thought...a dream that we could really be
that free with one another. However we must not lose
sight of who I am..."Catherine lovingly said, "That
is what I love about you Vincent, you are so
proper, and I am finding very modest too. But you
shouldn't be Vincent...if you only knew...."Vincent
stared day-dreamily and said, "One day Catherine I do
hope to be free of all the inhibitions that plague me"
Catherine tipped her head and asked, "Vincent have you
ever tried Hypnotism? I dabbled in it a little bit in
college." Vincent asked, "Hypnotism Catherine? You
mean to say that you could hypnotize me?" Catherine
seductively said, "Oh yes I could, if you were
receptive to it. So are you Vincent...receptive to it?"
"Well I am not sure Catherine, I have never
dabbled in such a thing. If it turned out I was
receptive to it, wouldn't that mean I would not be able
to remember anything? I mean you could do anything you
like with me and I would be oblivious to
it!" Catherine looked at Vincent with just a hint of
mischief in her eyes and said "Believe me Vincent, you
would remember everything!" Vincent could read his
Catherine's desirous thoughts, but decided to say
nothing and just play along for a
while, thinking
"Hmmm, this is going to get interesting..."
Little did Catherine know that "twice" before Father and Peter had
tried hypnotism on Vincent, but found that because of
his unique chemistry, they found it "impossible.” But of
course Vincent wasn't going to let Catherine in on that
little piece of information..."Okay Vincent! When
shall we do it...the hypnotism that is?" Vincent heaved
a heavy sigh, and said, "Catherine of course I am
willing to try anything...there is no time like the
present." Catherine tried to contain her excitement, as
she said, "All right then Vincent, I will need you to
lie down here on the couch, and relax...as Catherine
slipped her necklace off that Vincent had given her,
she sat on the coffee table aside of him, and said,
"Just watch the crystal Vincent...watch the crystal"
She then began the sway of the stone in motion, and as
she looked down into Vincent's beautiful blue eyes,
she saw him follow the stone, and then she softly
said, "Your eyelids are getting heavy ... it is
difficult to keep them open Vincent...so heavy...so
heavy." Vincent then said, "Yes they are Catherine,
the crystal is mesmerizing, don't you think?"
Catherine softly said, "Ssssssssshhhhhh Vincent...you
shouldn't talk, just relax." As Vincent's words echoed
in her mind, she looked at the swinging crystal too,
and thought, "Yes...it is mesmerizing...and before
another moment passed, Catherine had leaned forward on
Vincent's chest sound asleep! Vincent raised an
eyebrow and thought to himself, "Hmmm, now this is a
predicament that every man dreams of being in!" With
soft soothing voice he said, "Catherine with the snap
of my fingers, you shall wake up refreshed, and
respond amorously when the word "Shakespeare" is
spoken. "Snap", Catherine awoke and said, "Vincent, I
am so disappointed, it didn't work on you huh?" Vincent
disappointedly said, "Afraid not Catherine...I should
go, as Shakespeare once said, "Parting is such sweet
sorrow, that I shall say good-bye till it be morrow."
Catherine grabbed Vincent by his collar, and kissed
him with a passion in a way that she had always
dreamed of doing! As Vincent gathered himself,
Catherine was getting ready to come back for seconds,
when he snapped his fingers once more. Catherine shook
her head, and said, "Vincent...what happened." Vincent
guiltily said, "Catherine, I am afraid that you were
the one hypnotized instead of me. Forgive me
Catherine!" Catherine looked downward, to make sure
that she was still dressed, and brought her hand to
her lips, and said, "Vincent, what have I done?"
Vincent led Catherine to the couch and as he told her
to relax that he would bring her up and out of her
trance, he lovingly said, "Nothing happened Catherine,
that you would be ashamed of. You bestowed the
sweetest of kisses on my lips, that demonstrated to me
the passion that one day awaits us." Catherine softly
said, "Ah Vincent, you don't have to bring me up out
of my hypnotic trance yet...do you?" Vincent tipped his head,
and said, "Well Dear Catherine…as Shakespeare once
wrote...
THE END
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