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The Nancy Reagan Stem Cell Research Good Time Hour Presents ...

henry_rollins.gifLet the scientists out of their cages! Ladies and gentleman of academia, the laboratories await you! Let’s get this century started! What a breath of fresh air. For so many years, I have had to put up with adults in power who act like rejects from a Children Of The Corn III casting call.

To those who oppose President Obama’s lifting of the ban on stem-cell-research funding, I know progress and change is hard for you. I know your ancestors were incensed when they were no longer allowed to burn women at the stake as witches, but they got over it.

As to your perceived moral high horse: you may be high, but you’re not on any elevated plane. Please, act your age, not your shoe size. Your moral stock value is pennies on the dollar. You voted for war and destruction. You willfully looked away from the truth repeatedly as thousands of people died needlessly and thousands more were horrifically injured. You did that, torture monkey. So please, put your method-acting anger crap away along with your “god hates fags” signs. No one’s buying it.

Did you see what your hero’s wife had to say about president Barack Hussein Obama’s lifting of the ban?

“I’m very grateful that President Obama has lifted the restrictions on federal funding for embryonic stem cell research. These new rules will now make it possible for scientists to move forward.”

Oh no! What are you going to do about that? I can’t believe I’ve got Snorin’ Orrin and Snarlin’ Arlen as my wingmen on this! Talk about the ground shifting underneath your feet! That Ronald Reagan was utterly ruinous to America is really not up for debate at this point, but the last several years of the man’s life could have possibly been better if stem cell research had not been held up by the intellectually left behind.

Do you have any idea what a pain in the ass you people are? Note to Michael Steele: you’re not going to knock down a damn thing. We’re miles up the road. Feel free to join us any time—that is if you’re not too winded from Rush Limbaugh sitting on your chest all week. Who’s going to be the head of your party next, Rip Taylor? You’re more fun than a pool fulla pandas!

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