"Kate," Holding Therapy survivor: "Everyone in the room was helping to hurt me, and like a rapist, they told me when I just stopped fighting and took it like a good girl, everything would be okay."

Day 542. Survivors found: 8

This blog is being attacked and threatened with permanent suspension. I was not allowed to publish this survivor account until now because of this; WordPress is apparently caving to the collective demands of AT/Holding Therapy proponents Heather Forbes, Ronald Federici, Arthur Becker-Weidman and co.

This may very well be the last post on this blog.

If you oppose the permanent suspension of A Search for Survivors, I ask that you please write WordPress at tosreports@wordpress.com

Put this in the subject line:
[WordPress #352210]: 493@childtorture.wordpress.com

Please phrase any protests, inquiries and arguments with the utmost courtesy. Thank you.

 
Thank you for your website and your effort to find others.

My sister Junie and I both were taken to a therapist who I only remember as LindaI was twelve at the time (Im in my 20s now), my sister was four.

Our adopted father left us when Junie was only a few months old. Mom couldnt handle it. They had gone through two international adoptions and both had failed at the last minute. Junie was supposed to be the golden baby who saved their marriage, but it hadnt worked. Nobody even came to see her when mom brought her home.

Junie had colic, mom thought my sisters crying was a deliberate attempt to upset her. She was convinced we had parasites under our skin. She took us to the doctor constantly, telling him he just wasnt looking hard enough for them, told the school nurse we had staph and told all our family members we had scabies. I still have scars on my back from her trying to dig out my freckles with peroxide and sewing needles. As soon as they were healing she would say she saw something in it and open the wound again. Then she took us to the doctor and said we had sores that wouldnt heal.

What mom needed was help. Now that I am older, I look back on it and I am angry that our family didnt do something besides just turn their heads the other way. I blame them as much as anyone else.

One of moms few remaining friends pulled her into the RAD/AT cult at this horrible, vulnerable time. This friend convinced her that the problem was us. I still have never forgiven that woman for what she did to our family.

Mom took us to several child therapists, who told her we seemed fine. Mom said it was because we were both manipulators, that we even somehow managed to trick all these professionals. Everyone was just blind to what trouble we were.

Every time this happened she yanked us and went looking for a new therapist who would validate her. Finally her friend found Linda.

The therapist diagnosed me with ODD and RAD and my sister with RAD, she showed my mom how to do holding therapy. She ignored the fact that our adopted father had physically and sexually abused me and that restraining me sent me into panic attacks. All these years she felt like nobody understood her and now she had someone who did.

They told me I was hateful.

They held me down to spit on me, lick me and scream at me. My adopted father had sexually abused me. Mom knew this and still let them do it. She watched, and sometimes helped. I was powerless and I felt like I was being attacked all over again, only this time it wasnt in a locked bedroom, it was in an office in broad daylight. Everyone in the room was helping to hurt me, and like a rapist, they told me when I just stopped fighting and took it like a good girl, everything would be okay. They taught me how to hate. They told me I was manipulative.

Eventually you realize that the world doesnt care. Nobody cares, and so you just take it. Go limp and let your mind be somewhere else. I learned the exact words and expressions I needed to use to get away. I knew what to say to make them happy. I would do anything to make them happy, just to avoid being held down and tortured again. They taught me to manipulate.

They told me I was a liar. When my sister Junie would misbehave, I took the blame and the punishment. When mom asked me if I loved her, after an hour of holding me down, screaming in my face and wiping spit on me, I said yes. I didnt mean it. I couldnt mean it, at least not then. But I said it to stop mom from hurting my sister.

They taught me to lie.

One day, Linda was gone. She moved to another state without so much as telling anyone. Linda took people for all they were worth and felt no other obligation to us, once the checks cleared. After all this, I think my mother was hurt the most, which sounds strange but its true.

Our relationship never recovered. She lost her daughters forever because in a vulnerable time, she listened to someones bad advice.

Again, thanks and just thought you should know there are two more survivors out here.

 
Thanks again to Kate for coming forward.

Once more, if you oppose the permanent suspension of A Search for Survivors, I ask that you please write WordPress at tosreports@wordpress.com

Put this in the subject line:
[WordPress #352210]: 493@childtorture.wordpress.com

Please phrase any protests, inquiries and arguments with the utmost courtesy. Thank you.

Here is what else you can do to help.

Comments 6

  1. Rinda wrote:

    thank you for posting . I hope and pray you get to stay up

    Posted 22 Aug 2009 at 14:08
  2. Linda Rosa,RN wrote:

    Many, many thanks, Kate, for telling your gripping story here. What state was the therapist Linda practicing in when you had the misfortune to fall into her clutches?

    Many children caught up in Attachment Therapy are lead to believe these methods are standard psychotherapy, or that they wont be believed if they complain to anyone outside the family that they are being tortured. Hearing the stories of others must be of great value to them.

    It is hard to believe that WordPress is threatening Wayward when what this site is all about Attachment Therapy is a brutal practice officially condemned by major professional societies. APSAC, the American Psychological Association and others have no problem calling this abusive and dangerous.

    Look it up, WordPress:

    http://www.apa.org/divisions/div37/RADTaskForceManuscript.pdf

    But the likes of Federici, Forbes, Becker-Weidman, etc., are unlikely to try to harass the American Psychological Association or close down their website.

    If WordPress closes down Search for Survivors, they are doing nothing less than enabling these therapist sadists who get their jollies off torture the most vulnerable of our citizens. This deplorable enabling of Attachment Therapy has been going on for decades; it is totally incomprehensible to any decent person.

    Posted 22 Aug 2009 at 15:11
  3. Monica Pignotti wrote:

    I see that this blog was taken down yesterday, but today it is back up. Kudos to WordPress for doing the right thing and standing up to cyberbullies. As long as this site stays up, I take back what I wrote about them yesterday when I took them to task for taking this blog down.

    In my opinion, the term Attachment Therapist may actually be too kind, as the term therapy to describe what these people do is highly questionable. It doesnt matter what we call these people. What matters is what they have been writing, claiming and doing to others and there is plenty of evidence for that.

    Thanks to Kate for having the courage to come forward and tell what happened to her. It is through these survivors that the truth has and will continue to come out.

    Posted 23 Aug 2009 at 12:54
  4. chops wrote:

    Holy shit. I found this blog sort of randomly. I have psychology degree and Ive never even heard of this holding therapy bullshit. Its so patently ridiculous and blatantly abusive that I dont even know where to start. Im speechless and horrified. Its like it came out of a textbook titled How to Senselessly and Brutally Traumatize Children. Ive got to do a fuckload of research on this now.

    Posted 26 Aug 2009 at 00:06
  5. Adopted Jane wrote:

    OMG I cant believe the blog was taken down
    Did you not have my comment saved ?

    I cant believe that *mark* from WP said that Heather Forbes is not a attachment therapist
    Has he READ these pages from her own mouth ?

    http://www.beyondconsequences.com/aboutus-heather.html

    http://www.mhadallas.org/pdf/2008_BrochureFinal.pdf

    Says clearly she has been trained by Attachment therapists !. If not trained to be one then what ?

    Posted 27 Aug 2009 at 03:31
  6. forthelost wrote:

    You have to know that people who support them have the right to call them attachment therapists, but if you oppose them it suddenly becomes a bad label. *sarcasm*

    Posted 27 Aug 2009 at 13:23

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