Bill Hicks’ censored segment on David Letterman, interview with Bill’s mom, and a little reminder as to who runs their show

The following is the buildup and the actual censored segment of Bill Hicks from the ‘Late Show with David Letterman’. An introduction to the importance of this event is available in the previous post (Link). If you want to skip the introduction and the conversation with Bill’s mom then you can just watch the third video, which is the actual segment that was cut from the show in 1993, however, I recommend watching all three videos, I really enjoyed watching and listening to Bill’s mom.

One thing I would like to point out. In the first video where David Letterman is introducing Bill’s mom and talking about why she is here, he states that it was his decision to remove Bill’s routine from the show 15 years ago. His exact words are:

“… and his (Bill’s) 12th appearance, we had him on this show October 1st, 1993, and he came out, and he did his stand-up, about 5 or 6 minutes, and afterwards in considering what I had seem, and it was an error of judgement on my part, just a mistake, I made a decision I think born of insecurity more than anything else, and I said ‘I don’t think we want to have that on the show’, so we removed it from the show, and when I say we I mean the production set, but the decision was mine, and like I say looking back on it I had no real reason, I don’t know why, and I’m sorry that I did, and it was a mistake.”

It appears that Letterman doesn’t remember why he removed Bill’s segment from the show, so I thought it would be appropriate to remind him and anyone else that may be interested.

According to Bill Hicks, the reason that his segment was censored from the show is because the “CBS Standards and Practices felt that some of the material was unsuitable for broadcast.” It was not Letterman’s decision to cut the segment. The regulators who have the final word on what is aired on CBS would not allow the segment to be on the show. So even though David Letterman pretends, or thinks, I’m not sure which, that he decides what can be shown on ‘his’ show, it is actually the CBS corporation that has the final word.

Bill Hicks’ full account of what transpired can be found at ‘The Konformist’, excerpts from which are provided below:

After the show, I returned to my hotel and took a long hot bath. As I was getting out of the tub, the phone rang. It was now half past seven. Robert Morton, the producer of the Letterman show, was on the line. He said, "Bill, I've got some bad news ..." My first thought was that Dave had been chopped up and sauted by the mob cook. Robert Morton went on, "Bill, we've had to edit your set from tonight's show."

I sat down on the bed, stunned, wearing nothing but a towel. "I don't understand, Robert. What's the problem? I thought the show went great."

Morton replied, "It did, Bill. You killed out there. It's just that the CBS Standards and Practices felt that some of the material was unsuitable for broadcast."

I rubbed my head, confused. "Ah. Which material did they find unsuitable?"

"Well," Morty replied, "almost all of it. If I had to edit everything they object to, there'd be nothing left of the set, so we just think it's best to cut you entirely from the show. Bill, we fought tooth and nail to keep the set as it is, but Standards and Practices won't back down and David is furious. We're all upset here. What can I say? It's out of my hands now. We've never experienced this before with Standards and Practices, and they're just not going to back down. I'm really sorry."

"But, Bob, they're so obviously jokes..."

"Bill, I know, I know. But Standards and Practices just doesn't find them suitable."

"But which ones? I mean, I ran this set by my 63-year-old Mom on her porch in Little Rock, Arkansas. Youíre not going to find anyone more mainstream, nor any place more Middle America, than my Mom in Little Rock, Arkansas, and she had no problem with the material."

"Bill, what can I say? It's out of our hands, Bill. We'll just try and schedule a different set in a couple of weeks and have you back on."

Then Morton said, "Bill, we take full responsibility for this. It's our fault. We should have spent more time before working on the set, so Mary and I could have edited out the "hot points", and we wouldn't be having to do this now."

Finally, I came to my senses. I said, "Bob, they're just jokes. I don't want them to be edited by you. Why are people so afraid of jokes?"

To this, Morty replied, "Bill, you have to understand our audiences." This is a line I've heard before and it always pisses me off. "Your audiences!"

I retorted, "What? Do you grow them on farms? Your audience is comprised of 'people', right? Well, I understand people, being a person myself. People are who I play to every night, Bob, and we get along just fine. And when I'm not performing on your show, I'm a member of the audience for your show. Are you saying that my material is not suitable for me? This doesn't make sense. Why do you underestimate the intelligence of the audience? I think that shows a great deal of contempt on your part ..."

Morty bursts in with, "Bill, it's not our decision. We have to answer to the networks, and this is the way they want to handle it. Again, I'm sorry - you're not at fault here. Now let me get to work on editing you from the show and we'll set another date as soon as possible with some different material, OK?"

"What kind of material? How bad airline food is? Boy, 7-11s sure are expensive? Golly, Ross Perot has big ears? Bob, you keep saying that you want me on the show, then you don't let me be myself, and now you're cutting me out completely. I feel like a beaten wife who keeps coming back for more. I try and write the best material I can for you guys. Yours is the only show I do because I'm a big fan, and I think you're the best talk show on television. And this is how you treat me?"

"Bill, thatís just the way it is sometimes. I'm sorry, OK."

"Well, I'm sorry, too, Bob. Now I've got to call my folks back and tell them not to wait up. I've got to call all my friends ..."

"Bill, I know. This is tough on all of us."

"Well, you've got to do what you've got to do ... OK." Then we hang up.

So there you have it. Not since Elvis was censored from the waist down has a performer, a comic, performing on the very same stage, been so censored - now from the neck up - in America. For telling jokes.

"What are they so afraid of?" I yelled. "Goddamnit! I'm a fan of the show. I'm an audience member. I do my best shit for them ... they're just jokes." Here's this show I loved, that touted itself as this hip late-night talk show, trying to silence one man's voice, a comic, no less.

Apparently, many of my media friends, fans and supporters are also Letterman fans. They felt that this was a story that was newsworthy and expressed to me their own sympathy and outrage over what had occurred. Thursday came and went and still no tape arrived, so I took it upon myself to call Robert Morton personally. I asked why the tape hadn't arrived yet, and he said, "Um. I don't know if we are legally allowed to send out a tape of an unaired segment of a show."

I thought this had just come off the top of his head so I said, "Robert, I just want it for my archives, and my parents would love to see it," to which Morty replied, "I understand. I'll get you the tape. And let's work on another set for a few weeks from now."

CBS destroyed their copies of Bill’s segment, what you are about to see is complements of Bill’s parents who had the only remaining copy of the 1993 censored Bill Hicks segment from the ‘Late Show with David Letterman’.