The Official Ash Williams Webpage

 

Groovy

Real Ultimate Power

 

Hi, this site is all about Ash Williams, REAL Ash Williams.  This site is awesome.    My name is Robert and I can't stop thinking about Ash.  This guy is cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

 

Facts:

 

1.    Ash is a mammal.

2.    Ash kills deadites ALL the time.

3.    The purpose of Ash Williams is to flip out and insult people.

 

 

Weapons and gear:

 

This is my BOOMSTICK Vroooom!   

Boomstick              Chainsaw   

 

 

Klattu Veratta, Nickle...Necter...Neck-Tie...

Necronomicon

 

 

Testimonial:

 

Ash can say 'Klattu Veratta Nictu' anytime he wants!  Ash looses his girlfriend ALL the time and doesn't even think twice about it.  This guys is so crazy and awesome that he flips out ALL the time.  I heard that he was eating at a diner.  And when some dude dropped an axe, Ash killed the whole town.  My friend Henry The Red said that he saw Ash Williams totally uppercut some king, just because the king fell for a dumb joke.

 

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

If you don't believe that Ash has REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or he will chainsaw your hand off!!!  It's an easy choice, if you ask me.  

 

Ash Williams is sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants.  I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart.  This guy is totally awesome and that's a fact. Ash is fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet.  I can't wait to start Chemistry 101 next year.  I love Ash with all of my body (including my metal hand).    

 

 

Q and A:.

 

 

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about Ash?

A: Ash is the ultimate paradox. On the one hand he knows how to make robotic prosthetics, but on the other hand, he can't remember 'Klatu Veratta Nictu'.

 

Q: I heard that Ash is always cruel or mean.  What's his problem?

A: Whoever told you that is a total liar.  Just like other mammals, Ash can insult hospitality OR be a village hero. 

 

Q: What does Ash do when hes not saving the middle ages or flipping out?

A: Most of his free time is spent slaying deadites, but sometimes he makes out with random wenches.  (Ask Henry the Red if you don't believe me.)

 

 

Well hello Mister Fancy Pants

This is a picture of my best friend Henry the Red.

He's a lot older than me and is the Duke of Shale and leader of the Northlandic peoples,

which is bragable.


Like this parody? See several more (THE HORROR) at BrianX's website

realultimatepower.net

Copyright 2002

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