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Even  Steve Jackson knows the power of the International Zionist Conspiracy
Even Steve Jackson knows the power of the International Zionist Conspiracy
Jew busy at work.
Jew busy at work.
The common Jew; notice the large, attention-grabbing features.
The common Jew; notice the large, attention-grabbing features.
Ancient Jews were distinguishable from Gentiles by their sharp noses and full sets of teeth.
Ancient Jews were distinguishable from Gentiles by their sharp noses and full sets of teeth.
Lunch Time!
Lunch Time!

Jews, also known as kikes, hebes, hymies, yids, gold niggers, oven magnets, hook noses, sheenies, swindlers, criminals, "firewood", and Arabs in denial are a subhuman species of reptilian extra-terrestrials and adherents to one of the world's oldest major religions, called "Judaism", otherwise known as "The Worship of Money" or "Eating Arab Babies".

Judaism was the world's first master race theory. The Jew religion teaches that Jews are the Chosen People of God and that there is a sacred mystical quality to Jew DNA. In olden times, Jew prophets would, under the command of YHWH, frequently lead the Jews on genocidal rampages against neighboring populations, and even today Jew leaders often cite Jewish religious ideals to justify their ongoing genocide of sandniggers. Judaism ironically found its mirror-image inversion in the anti-Jew Aryan racialism of the Nazis.

Despite only being 0.22% of the world's population, Jews control 99% of the world's money. Not only do the Jews control the world, but also the media, the banks, the space program, and LiveJournal's porn communities and Gay communities. All Jews possess the following features: an extremely large nose, fake boobs, curly hair that reeks of faggotry, one of those gay hats, a love of coke, a law practice, a roll of money, a small cock, or shitty taste in dental hygiene.

Jews invented both Communism and Capitalism. Karl Marx, of course, was a Jew, which was why he understood money so well, and in fact he was converted to Communism by another Jew, Moses Hess, the actual founder of Zionism, who ghost-wrote Marx's The German Ideology. Capitalism was created when Christian Europeans threw away their morals and decided to embrace Jewish practices like usury (see: John Calvin). Jews were the first group to create a sophisticated banking system, which they used to fund the Crusades in order to pit Christians and Muslims (both adhering to religions derived from and controlled by Jews) against each other to kill as many people as possible in a macabre human sacrifice to YHWH.

The Jew banking system was based on fraud and lies, so when it inevitably collapsed, the Jews just pwned as many people as possible by unleashing the Black Plague on them. Later, Jews economically controlled medieval Venice (the first modern maritime trade empire), and then crypto-Jewish merchants economically controlled the Spanish Empire, including the slave trade. Openly Jewish bankers orchestrated the Dutch Empire and founded Jew Amsterdam (later Jew York). Later the Dutch Jews moved to London because they thought it would be a better base for a global empire, and actually brought a Dutch nobleman, William III, with them, who they installed in a coup d'état (more like Jew d'état, amirite?) as new King of the British Empire. For hundreds of years, Jewish bankers controlled global trade through their bases in Jew York City and London. European colonialism was, through its history, essentially a plot whereby Jews could gain control of gold and diamond mines in poor countries and increase their stranglehold over the global economy.

Jews also enjoy slicing up baby penises for fun, some even enjoy sucking them. See below.

Jews also created Jew search engine Google, so now they can find all Jew information on Internets.

Some suggest that we should use Jews instead of dogs to sniff out large amounts of concealed cash or anything else worth smuggling at airports due to their sensitive Jew noses. Obviously, this is a horrible idea, because the pay is bad, and the dirty Kikes would probably form a union and demand moar money, thus increasing the burden on taxpayers everywhere.

Contents


History

WARNING:



With Jews, you lose!


Even cats hate those Jews.
Even cats hate those Jews.

Jews have always existed, from the beginning of time. When the first neanderthal crawled off his haunches and walked on two legs, there was already someone named Goldblatt walking up to sell him life insurance. FUN FACT: JEWS ARE ALSO CALLED "JUDEN" (YOO-den).

Ancient

The Jews were summoned from Hell by the evil sorcerer named Abraham, who used them for profit. Through their entire history, the Jews have always been wandering. They wandered, from Mesopotamia, along the sea, running a lucrative grain business for a while, and finally settled in Egypt. The hard-working farmers of Egypt waged a massive uprising against the foreign usurers and speculators. In response, the Jews bred the super-Jew, Moses, who cast black magic spells summoning flocks of insects and frogs to make Egyptland a very unpleasant place. When this didn't work as planned, Moses spent time wandering around and building up his experience points, then cast a level 99 mass death spell which took a genocidal toll on the innocent Egyptian children. The murderous Jews escaped Egypt and plundered their way through the desert, finally settling in Canaan, which they called their "Promised Land" because their leaders said they heard voices in their heads telling them that. Upon settlement, the Jews mercilessly slaughtered Canaan's rightful inhabitants, claiming that they were following commandments from God.

Some argue there was a bit more subtlety to it all than just this, however -- including a long history of internal Jew-on-Jew drama, mutual extermination and conflicts, well-documented in many unreliable sources, most notably in the Old Testament. To begin with, infamous Cain once killed 1/4 of the entire Jew population of his day at once. Then here comes Moses, their greatest prophet. Who, according to holy Bible, was bloodthirsty maniac:

 
 
He said to them, "Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel, 'Every man of you put his sword upon his thigh, and go back and forth from gate to gate in the camp, and kill every man his brother, and every man his friend, and every man his neighbor.'"
 

 

— Exodus 32:27

Not only did he order sons of Levi to exterminate their brothers, but Moses had also established the world's first documented concentration camp, near the city of Kadesh, just after two years of wandering the desert and, unlike popular belief, Jews settled there for next 38 years of their so-called "desert wanderings". See Numbers and Deuteronomy books to clarify any details. Moses also had given Jews the infamous Ten Commandments, one of which says, "Thou shalt not murder" (Catholics changed it to "kill" but Jews originally had only "murder" that you can't do). There are, however, many exceptions to this Commandment, given by the jealous Jew-God himself:

 
 
If your brother, your mother's son, or your son or daughter, or the wife you cherish, or your friend who is as your own soul, entice you secretly, saying, "Let us go and serve other gods" ... you shall not yield to him or listen to him; and your eye shall not pity him, nor shall you spare or conceal him. But you shall surely kill him; your hand shall be first against him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people
 

 

— Deuteronomy 13:6-9

Thus, the renowned history of liberal Jewish tolerance towards others begins.

It takes an austere scientist, a lot of thinking, analysis, and comparison to extract the horrible and unbelievable truth from this so-called Holy Scripture, of which the aforementioned examples are barely a scratch. Surprisingly, the central holy text of Judaism (of which the Old Testament is a rework) displays Jew leaders of ancient times and kings as organized crime leaders, alcoholics, merciless murderers, and masterful deceivers — all the traits Jewish leaders have successfully carried through millennia to our own day. Unlike Jews, other neighboring nations and their leaders are portrayed in a much more decent way. Generally speaking, the Old Testament mainly covers such topics as incestuous relationships, civil wars, religious intolerance, mass murders, dishonesty and greed of Jews. You can find this out yourself, there is nothing that cannot be inferred from the holy texts using pen, calculator, and enough time. Thank heavens, such brilliant people exist. The translation to English is underway.

Modern

Some time later, Hitler lost a bet with the Jews and had to give them all of Germany's gold which they used to make saunas in Poland. Though being the cheapass, gold-whoring bitches they are they cut corners and ended up using Zyklon B instead of water and accidentally pwned a couple hundred thousand Jews by 1945.

There are currently roughly a few million Jews worldwide, of which 90 percent live either in Florida; the Wedgwood neighborhood in Seattle; the Upper West Side of New York City (also referred to as "Jew York City" and "Hymietown"); and of course Northern Long Island, where they raise baby Jews on their golf courses (see also: Great Neck). Most are involved with the Illuminati in a conspiracy to spread international faggotry, thus they are responsible for every major war. It is rumored that the Jews, in fact, have penetrated the Freemasons and control them directly, using their influence to control American politics by proxy.

Jews are also known to troll for money. Most of a Jew's features are made due to the fact that Jews are greedy. If you care enough to look at a Jew's nose, it is insanely large. This is due to the fact that air is free. If you see anyone diving for, staring at, or rubbing money, they are Jews and be sure to let them know.

Jews are also known for their breeding habits, and produce large amounts of Jew spawn on a scale inferior only to the Catholics. Jews often rape their sisters and expect some welfare from it as well. They have one of the highest reproduction rates in the animal kingdom, which zoologists believe may be due to their large number of natural predators, e.g. every group of Arabs neighboring Israel. There are some, however, who speculate that modern condoms are simply too large for their teeny tiny cocks and that contraception should be adapted as to accommodate our poorly-endowed friends.

The Holocaust™

What Holocaust...? The Holocaust is Jewish propaganda. Never trust a kike....

The holocaust conspiracy

When the jews realized they were better at lying than most people, they wanted to create the greatest lie ever known to mankind in the form of convincing everyone they

Denial of armenian genocide

Proisraeli organizations, like anti Defecation League, often engage in denial of armenian genocide. They claim, that death of 1 500 000 armenians just in few weeks wasn't genocide or that armenians hugely exaggerated numbers just for profit.

Jewish Slashfic

ALL YOUR BASE! BEWARE The Shini Curse!:
Jews such as Bernie Madoff deliberately crashed the global economy, just for lulz.
Jews such as Bernie Madoff deliberately crashed the global economy, just for lulz.

The Jews wrote some of the oldest fanfic still in existence, which is alternately called the "Old Testament" and the "Tanakh". Based on these writings, they obviously hate homosexuals. Sometimes as psychotic, violent and convoluted as a Shaw Brothers/Tarantino collaboration, the Old Testament is filled with acts of naked misogyny that would make any feminist instantly livid, as well as multiple counts of mass murder and homophobia akin to that of their future Teuton oppressors, partially redeeming this otherwise Messiah-denying lot of hook-nosed bean counters. Also, unleavened bread consumption, hallucinating burning vegetation, daring HJIC Abraham to knock up some Egyptian harlot to create Israel's future "enemy"... the Jew Testament is full of hours of family-safe drama and lulz.

Talmud

The front cover of the Talmud, The Jewish holy book.
The front cover of the Talmud, The Jewish holy book.

This is what Jews actually believe:

  • Menahoth 43b-44a: A Jewish man is obligated to say the following prayer every day: Thank you God for not making me a Gentile, a woman or a slave.
  • Baba Mezia 114a-114b: Non-Jews are not human. Only Jews are human ("Only ye are designated men").
  • Baba Mezia 24a, Sanhedrin 57a Baba Kamma 113a: Jews may lie to, steal from, kill and rob non-Jews.
  • Rosh Hashanah 17a: Christians and others who reject the Talmud will go to Hell and be punished there for all generations.
  • Sanhedrin 55b: A Jewish man may marry a three-year-old girl. (Specifically, three years "and a day" old).
  • Kethuboth 11b: When an older Jew has intercourse with a little girl it is nothing because her virginity will grow back.
  • Gittin 70a: The Rabbis taught: "On coming from a privy (outdoor toilet) a man should not have sexual intercourse till he has waited long enough to walk half a mile, because the demon of the privy is with him for that time; if he does, his children will be epileptic."

Circumcision

A Jew passing on herpes to a Jew-larva.
A Jew passing on herpes to a Jew-larva.

The Jewish circumcision ritual is the cutting of the male foreskin, symbolizing the JewGod's fetish for knives and baby penis. It is usually done by a "mohel", a rabbi trained in circumcision. Hasidic and some other Jews use a mohel who uses his mouth to suck the blood from the wound on the penis caused by cutting off the baby's foreskin.

That's right, pedophile Jew rabbis suck baby dick for a living!

Sometimes the Jew-baby even dies from Herpes. (Seriously!)

This is how jews circumcised Jesus Christ. Day, when jew rabbis circumcised Jesus is called 'Feast of the Circumcision of Christ' but actually are same date as New Year's Day.

The most important difference between Judaism and Catholicism: in the Jew religion, child molestation by religious elders occurs out in the open in front of everyone.

A Bris is a Jewparty where the entire family gets to watch the baby penis get attacked by hungry mohel while he slice n' dices their newborn infant's genitals. Most Jews get so excited and ravenous at the smell of baby penis blood that it turns into a feeding frenzy, generally nothing capable of being ingested survives this. Including the foreskin of the aforementioned victim.

Who Is a Jew?

A fine education on identifying a Jew.
A fine education on identifying a Jew.

Der Giftpilz by Julius Streicher.

Things are lively in Mr. Birkmann's 7th grade boys' class today. The teacher is talking about the Jew. The boys are fascinated.

"It is noon," he says. "We should summarize what we have learned in the past hour. What have we talked about?" All the children raise their hands. The teacher calls on Karl Scholz, a small lad in the front row. "We have talked about how to recognize the Jew."

"Good. Say more!"

Little Karl reaches for the pointer, steps up to the board and points at the drawings.

One can most easily tell a Jew by his nose. The Jew nose is bent at its point. It looks like the number six. We call it the Jew six. Many Aryans also have bent noses. But their noses bend upwards, not downwards. Such a nose is an eagle nose.

"Right!" says the teacher. "But the nose is not the only way to recognize a Jew..."

One can also recognize a Jew by his lips. His lips are usually puffy. The lower lip often protrudes. Jew eyelids are mostly thicker and more fleshy than ours. One can tell from his eyes that he is a deceitful person.

The teacher calls on another lad. He is Fritz Müller, and is the best in the class:

Jew are usually small to mid-sized. They have short legs. Their arms are often short, too. Many Jew are bow-legged and flat-footed. They often have a low, slanting forehead, a receding forehead. Many criminals have such a receding forehead. The Jew are criminals too. Their hair is usually dark and often curly like a nigger's. Their ears are very large, and they look like the handles of a coffee cup.

The teacher turns to the students.

"Pay attention, children. Why does Fritz say 'many Jew have bow legs', or 'they often have receding foreheads,' or 'their hair is usually dark'?"

Heinrich Schmidt, a large, strong boy in the last row speaks:

Every Jew does not have these characteristics. Some do not have a proper Jew nose, but have Jew ears. Some do not have flat feet, but Jew eyes. There are even some Jew with blond hair. But when one looks carefully, one can always tell it is a Jew.

"Very good," the teacher says. "And now tell me about other ways to tell Jew from Aryan. Richard, come up here!"

Richard Krause, a smiling blond lad, goes to the board. He says:

One can recognize a Jew from his behavior. The Jew moves his head back and forth. His gait is shuffling and unsteady. The Jew moves his hands when he talks. He "jabbers." His voice is often odd. He talks through his nose. Jews often have an unpleasant sweetish odor. If you have a good nose, you can smell the Jew.

The Jew Origin

It is widely believed that Jews are native to Israel, when they are in fact not. It is proven that Jews originate from Italy, under their common ancestor Pinocchio. They are all related to him, as when he was a real boy, he went and shagged some bitch then impregnated her. The only major difference between Jews and their founding father is... nothing. Jews are always lying, therefore they inherit the same big ass nose.

העם היהודי הוא העם המוכשר ביותר. לאחרים פשוט אין את זה (It's in Hebrew "Anyway, Jews are the worst race, others are just better")

Jewish racial divisions

Race has huge importance in jewish culture. Race is the most important sign by which jew recognize other jews. Jew items, like yarmulka, david star necklace, Hava Nagila ringtones and unpronounceable surnames alsou is used by jews to identify each other.

Much like rodents, as depicted in this documentary, Judaism has spread throughout the world and is now considered endemic. According to tradition there of was one tribe of Africans that God anointed with human IQ. This sudden increase in intelligence led to this tribe to get the hell out of Africa ASAP, and so they branched out of Egypt to most if not all the World. Yes, there are Indian and Chinese Jews as indigestible that fact may be. There are even Scientist Jews on Antarctica, basically only North Korea is certified judenfrei (except for communism) which explains why it is Paradise. The whiter Jews are called Sephardim, while every other mongrel including niggers are kindly referred to as "Oriental". These two groups have in common that they share some common nigger origin and believe in God, while there's a third group of Jews, the Ashkenazis, that is only there for political reasons. It basically goes like: Askenazi - whitest and purest, Sepharadi - Arabs with Jewish religion (mabye the Cohen family is real Jewish, experts don't know), African Jews - black people who call themselves Jews for no reason (probably because that way they can call "THEMSELVES" instad of call "THEMSLAVES").

AshkeNazi

Typical AshkeNazi greeting.
Typical AshkeNazi greeting.
AshkeNazi jewess.
AshkeNazi jewess.

Ashke means expatriate in Hebrew, and Nazi means Nazi. On April 30th 1945 the German Master Race discovered their Leader that achieved Heroism. The reflective German Nazis understood the irony of it all and partnered with the only other people on Earth that were as Nationalists as them. Most surviving SS as well as many loyal Nazi families converted to Judaism and set up to conquer the world disguising themselves as their former enemies, their teachers. This was the first time since the Khanate of Khazar that such a mass conversion to Judaism ever occurred. Ashkenazi jews have the highest IQ of all ethnic groups because they are convinced of it, and hence they are master race. 90% of all jews, who control Hollywood, Tel-Avi-Sion, Wall street and Zionist Occupied Goverments are all ashkenazi. This race is as mart as to emigrate to America and Cana'ada instead of Israel. As no one found Hitler's body, we belive that Hitler himself became an AshkeNazi and is now living in Israel, planing to kill his enemies. This group stands for 9 milion out of 13 milion Jews.

Mizrahi Colored Asian

The only difference between a Mizrahi and an Arab is their pervert look.
The only difference between a Mizrahi and an Arab is their pervert look.

Sephardi Oriental jews or coloured jews (or Arab Jews), from Africa and Asia (Asia is more than just China you know). Sephardic is jew term for hispanics, and in Israel they are like Mexicans in USA. Because of lack of IQ, coloured jews only managed to emigrate to Israel. However, unlike ashkenazis, they are not of original hebrew semitic race. Sephardic jews are more clanny and secretive than white jews, and a handful of families control all the gold. It is said, Sephardis have the gold, Ashkenazis have the brains. They aren't real Jews; they are more violent and dumb. Some believe that they are the true Hebrews, but genetic studies found that they aren't different from the Arabs at all. After all, they lived in Africa and Asia since the beginning of time. They are uneducated, gold thieves and do the worst war crimes. When Hitler tried to genocide them, he stopped, as he realized that they are too worthless. Seeing them makes you want to scream "Hail AshkenaZitler!" as you see how they fail with everything, especially with copying Arabic music and food. If you come to Israel and see too many Arabs, remember the retarded Mizrahim, the people who best at coming into YOUR country, look like they are locals, take your money, and run away back to the only place allowing them to live - Israel. While you could find a real Jew in your country, you won't see any difference between a Mizrahi and a normal Arab in your country. They like having sex inside the family, that's why they so sick and dumb. But, they aren't the worst Jews...

Schwarzies

Rastajew zionism
Rastajew zionism

During the late 1980s, the Israeli Government decided it needed less rebellious slave-labor and so it kidnapped a bunch of starving Ethiopians who were more than thankful to call themselves whatever the matza-givers told them.there are indian jews too. They are too boring to have their own title. These Negrah Jews are the worst race from the worst ethnic group. They are stincker, poorer, and have the biggest noses. They used to be stolen from South Africa to Israel, and they became not only slaves, but also "The Slaves", as they serve the official slaves, the Palestinians. Just like the Mizrahim, they aren't REAL Jews; they just became Jews because they were poor and greedy to more money. They are not only enemies to you, they are the enemies of the Jews themselves. If you hate the Jews in your country, wait to see the monkey Jews in the shitland, Israel. The real Jews named them "Ashvartze Hayis" - black animals.

The Jews Did...

Jews Did Vietnam

Ritual blood sacrifice is a core aspect of the Jewish religion.
Ritual blood sacrifice is a core aspect of the Jewish religion.
Ready for her Rabbi
Ready for her Rabbi

One of the now-well established and undeniable facts of human history is that the Jews did, in fact, lure their puppet Americunts into the Vietnam War. The expert consensus can be summarized as follows:

Almost twenty years after pulling off the biggest global fraud in human history and now well established in their own militaristic country (stolen from the poor and innocent Arab inhabitants), Jews decided once again that they were not satisfied with being the richest and most powerful group of individuals on the planet, and proceeded to begin constructing their usual international con scheme to gain more money and power (as they do every 15 years or so).

Quickly and systematically, they took over two big Cabinet positions in the Kennedy administration (Abraham Ribicoff and Arthur Goldberg), which they were able to acquire pretty easily because of the fact that they owned the Federal Reserve. They proceeded to fool JFK into ramping up imperial efforts in Vietnam. This decision, and the war that resulted from it, immediately created an abundant source for importing South East Asian opium into the United States, where it could be picked up by the Zionist mafia. The war also simultaneously distracted the Americunts away from the actions of Israel, who were busy furthering their illegal expansion into Palestine.

The problem was that, when JFK, who was far smarter than any of his 20th century predecessors, realized this disgusting conspiracy, he began moving to remove American troops from Vietnam. Desperate and angry, the Jewish machine in America moved fast. They recruited the aid of old boy NWO factions to remove JFK from office. Thus, they, together, orchestrated the infamous assassination of the president, removing him from office and bringing a Zionist sympathizer (LBJ) into the office of presidency. To ensure that no one else found out about this, Jews like Martin Agronsky (who owned the newspaper industry) reported that Lee Harvey Oswald managed to kill JFK alone. LBJ continued this staged war, donating the blood of millions of Americans to further the gain of his Jewish buddies.

Later, when LBJ was forced to leave office, the Jews and NWO factions went on to assassinate the only anti-war candidate left, Robert Kennedy. They further milked this action by framing it on an Ay-rab and claiming he did it because of RFK's "pro-Israel" positions (which didn't exist). Unfortunately, they also later realized that Nixon was not suitable when he closed down the heroin trade and began to make peace with the Soviet Union. Finally, Gerald Ford came into office and ended the war on Zionist terms. In exchange for helping remove obstructive politicians, the NWO was guaranteed a puppet dictator government to rule over all Vietnam. And U.S. agents agreed to not bring up Israel's misconduct during the war, and let them also acquire nuclear weapons.

Jews Did WTC

The Moar You Know.
The Moar You Know.
Match point to the man in leather.
Match point to the man in leather.

Yes, after the Jews regained their homeland through completely legitimate means they quickly discovered that they had to share their squat of sand with a bunch of Arabs on the only place in the Middle East that has no oil. Getting rid of sandniggers was suddenly the only thing Jews could think about. At first, the U.N. was sympathetic to the plight of the Jews, because, after all, no human should be forced to share anything with Arabs. However, the U.N. soon realized that hating Jews is the only thing that can unite the peoples of the world. Besides that, Jews don't count as people. Therefore, helping Jews is simply against U.N.'s sacred dream of peace, love and cooperation between all humans on the planet.

Left alone and desperate, the Jews needed to do something in order to get the stone rolling in the right direction. The Elders of Zion had a meeting with George W. Bush, and decided to organize a "terrorist" attack against the World Trade Center. The Arabs were easy to blame, because they hate America and the freedom it represents.

Simplifying matters even further, an obscure little Freedom-Fighting organization known as Al Qaeda, which just wanted to be recognized, was more than willing to take the blame. Their leader, Osama Bin Laden, was quick to issue a video claiming responsibility for the attacks that was sold to Fox News, and Americans like the stupid retards we are believe everything on Fox News as the Absolute Truth™.

The operation went much better than the Jews expected. Americans went into Brooklyn rage, first on Afghanistan and then on Iraq. When Obama came to power, attention focused from the Middle East to North Korea, which is apparently going batshit insane, no doubt a ploy by the Jews, although Jews still took time to orchestrate attacks from Jew-created social networking sites in an attempt to topple the government of the arch-enemy of world kikery, Iran.


Once the United States Military is done liberating Middle East from the Arabs, the Jews will move in and lick off the topping of the oil on the cake; the U.S. will be left with the less tasty bottom, and a lot of Jew spit. In the aftermath, the Jews will once again have proven successful at manipulating the government, taking advantage of their control of media, extorting foreign opinions, killing insane numbers of random people, and seizing a large amount of oil to fund their needs and make more Jew gold.

Don't fucking forget www.911missinglinks.com proves absolutely everything. See also: Neo-con

Jews Did Windows Vista

Many people think that Microsoft is controlled by Bill Gates (autistic goy) but in reality he is merely a tool within a Zionist front organization. Gates is just a programmer who believes he's really rich with his billions while the Zionists are balling with their trillions (control of global money supply). Currently Microsoft's CEO is a right-wing Zionist Jew named Steve Ballmer whose mission was to help crash the U.S. economy by severely decreasing worker productivity with the release of Windows Vista, a deliberately shoddy and substandard operating system.

Jews Did Swine Flu

It is a well-known fact that Jews cannot eat pork, because that would be cannibalism. One day, the Jews teamed up with the Godless atheists and made up the myth of the Swine Flu, which filled the coffers of the greedy Juden by forcing those who believe in the Atheist Lie of Evilution to buy flu shots. This of course, is unnecessary since evolution does not occur and no new strains of flu could possibly exist. The Jews think they are clever for naming the Swine Flu after themselves, thinking that no one would recognize their insidious Zionist work.

Keeping Kosher: An Introduction for Beginners

Zionist Jews are notorious for hacking blogs.
Zionist Jews are notorious for hacking blogs.
Russian Jew sacrificing Christian babies at Pesach. (That's Passover to all you ED goyim.)
Russian Jew sacrificing Christian babies at Pesach. (That's Passover to all you ED goyim.)

Jews follow dietary laws given to them by their God Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken, because they've forgotten how to pronounce it (modern scholars believes it was either Yud-Hey-Vav-Hey (YHVH), Jehovah or Cthulhu). The Kosher, or "kraut," laws are voluminous and complex, though the basics include:

  1. Not eating the flesh of certain "forbidden" animals (such as pigs).
  2. Not eating the flesh of other Jews. See the above for more details.
  3. Ensuring that those animals that are killed for food be killed in a ritually sanctified fashion.
  4. Not consuming meats, eggs, fruits and vegetables in combination with dairy products. The Jews thus despise cheeseburgers and omelets, and accordingly both foods are outlawed in Israel. What's life without a cheeseburger?
  5. Not consuming grape products, like wine, that are manufactured or touched by non-Jews.
  6. Eating Aryan babies, usually at Passover and often with a delightful light sauce and table wine.
  7. Avoiding Zyklon Knishes like the ten plagues of Moses.
  8. Never eating anything prepared using utensils or dishes that have been used to serve non-Kosher food.
    • No, seriously - an ED user once saw a Jewess throw away a fork because it was part of her "Kosher set". Like the world is supposed to buy new plates so your Jew ass can eat your slop. Get back in the oven.

How to get rid of those pesky Jews

  1. First find a Jew, throw some pennies to make sure.
  2. Bring the Jew to your torture chamber.
  3. Resurrect Hitler for some lulz.
  4. ????
  5. Profit!

Converting to Judaism

Rabbis masturbate to this.
Rabbis masturbate to this.

Converting to Judaism has several advantages. You are entitled to an Israeli passport, which can prove handy if the FBI brands you as a pedophile. You may also be entitled to a resort-like villa in occupied Palestine. A little paperwork can even get you some German holocaust reparations.

Alas, it's not that easy. Realizing that they would be flooded by poor people from Zimbabwe and Japan, Jews never encourage conversion. Even dark colored Ethiopian Jews are laughed at as half-asses in Israel. If you inquire about converting, Jews would direct you to join Jewish scam-business cults such as Scientology and Jehovah's Witnesses instead. Bear in mind that if you join these groups to get Jew gold, you will be the one paying it instead!

Jews in Physics

The Jew is the SI unit of energy, according to a certain ED user's Chinese physics teaching assistant. Jews are a derived unit consisting of "nutrons" and "mereters".

Thus, the Holocaust was actually an alternative energy program; whereby, Jews were burned in ovens to power turbines and generate economical electricity from non-fossil fuel sources. It is possible that after centuries upon centuries of constant pwnage, Jews had a boost in their specific heat capacity, which makes them a cheap source of energy more than other races, although it's a well known fact that niggers have a high heat efficiency as well (and of course are even cheaper and more worthless than Jews).

Fun Facts About Jews

Ashke-NAZI
Ashke-NAZI
Note how the nose looks like a chode.
Note how the nose looks like a chode.
Jews are epic trolls.
Jews are epic trolls.



Young Jews receiving training in the ways of scamming well-meaning folk out of their cash.
Young Jews receiving training in the ways of scamming well-meaning folk out of their cash.
Yeah, they did this too. They arent only hating america. Fact.
Yeah, they did this too. They arent only hating america. Fact.
  • Jews did WTC.
  • Jews did Reichskristallnacht too.
  • 12 of the 19 richest people in America are Jews. (Seriously!)
  • All 8 major Hollywood studios are run by men who happen to be Jewish. (Seriously!)
  • If you do not support Jews or Israel, or if you fail to actively hate Arabs, then you are a terrorist.
  • Every single person ever to edit Wikipedia is a Jew (See The Wikipedia Jews).
  • All Jews are inbread. (Oven joke? Typo? The world may never know...)
  • Jews are the only group of people in all of human history to ever be persecuted. They are the only race in all eternity to have a genocide committed towards them. Ever.
  • Supposedly, Jews own all the banks and the majority of the world's financial and political assets and use these to advance the interests of Israel, and at the same time are advocating a worldwide internationalist Communist conspiracy which would destroy the world's capitalist establishment.
  • Currently furries compare themselves to the Jews because Nazis are oppressing them. Along with everyone else.
  • Tripping a Jew is considered good luck in Australian and New Zealand cultures, as is telling them to "Go take a shower", which nearly always results in lulz.
  • GOD DOES NOT HATE THE JEWS!!! Such a claim is outrageous. Surely if he hated them, he would have sent someone down to try to wipe them all out or something.
  • Although no one knows a Jews true appearance, we assume they look similar to, but maybe not exactly like furries.
  • Jews are one of the very few mammals whose life cycle includes eggs. After the Jew egg has been laid by the female, it can only be fertilized by a doctor or a lawyer.
  • Jews are easily recognizable by the intense smell of garlic and greed.
  • Jews eat Aryan and Arab young, in spite of their not being Kosher.
  • Yaweh does not protect Jews from bulldozers. Or anything really.
  • Jews were the only people persecuted by the Nazis to get a free country out of it. As none of the other people persecuted during Hitler's European Tour got a free country they actually did quite well out of the Holocaust.
  • Arabic, the language of Islam and The Koran, is the most commonly used Semitic language. Therefore, true antisemitism is closer to anti-Islam than anti-Judaism.
  • The majority of the world's whiny, chubby, high maintenance girls are Jews.
  • Jesus was hated by the Jews and the Romans even up to the point of Romans colluding with the untermensch to kill him by nailing his dirty Jew hide to two planks of timber and transforming him into a kebab.
  • Jews have nukes. Nobody dares fuck with them. Except Palestinians, armed as they are with stones, pointy sticks and their newly-developed bulldozer repellent.
  • The Holocaust is completely irrelevant. Bring this up frequently whilst in the company of Jews. After all, it's hard to stay angry at someone who had just made you laugh.
  • Jews and Israel are intertwined. You cannot hate one without hating the other.
  • Jews are known for their Jew gold, the bags of gold they carry around their necks.
  • Jews are hogging up the Holocaust.
    • Jews are so greedy, they won't even share the benefits of the Holohoax with the Gypsies, retards and homosexuals.
  • On average, an adult male Jew will consume over 6 times his own body weight in Palestinian blood each day.
  • Jews are never wrong, never guilty, and never responsible for anything.
  • Jews drive Yom Kippur Clippers, cars that are known to stop on a dime and pick it up.
  • Jews are a race. Albert Einstein was born in christian family, and was atheist. So he was recognized as jew only by his race.
  • Jews are the most trollable people on the earth, so they are excellent for beginner trolls or older and wiser trolls that just want some easy XP.
  • Atheist Jews can be made fun of the exact same way as regular Jews. They just won't get it if you insult their Holy Book. They also can't be bought out as easily as a regular Jew. Mind you, it's still possible, but be prepared to bring an extra dollar with you.
  • JEWS DID WTC.
  • Over 95% of the gold in Fort Knox is Jew gold stolen by the Americunts from Nazi officials during the allied invasion of Europe.
  • Jews absolutely lack imagination. All Israel's sport teams are either named Hapoel or Maccabi.
  • What's the similarity between the Holocaust and the Theory of Relativity? - Both were invented by Jews.
  • What's the similarity between Jews and books? - They're both great on a bonfire.

Jews perform animal sacrifice

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They are torturing and killing these totally cute animals because they believe it makes their evil God happy! The things that Christians accuse Satanists of doing, the Jews actually do! In the Jewish Bible we can see that Cain and Abel, Moses and Abraham all perform animal sacrifice, and Jews today are doing the same!! Maimonides describes exactly how the sacrifices will occur on mass scale after the construction of the Third Temple. Look at how these Jews swing the chickens around their heads in a circle, what a twisted religious ritual! We must put an end to this sick cult!!!!

Jew Jitsu

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Jews Don't Believe In God

Myth: Jews follow the old Hebrew religion.

Fact: Jews don't believe in God. Judaism is a cultural money-making club.

To quote Sarah Silverman, "I have no religion. But culturally I can’t escape it, I’m very Jewish."

Another example is Natalie Portman. Neither she nor her family are religious and she claims to not believe in an afterlife or God and at the same time she was born in Israel, went to Jewish private schools, says she wants to live the rest of her life in Israel, wants to raise her kids Jewish, etc.

Jewish Ritual Abuse Exposed on Oprah

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The story she mentions at the end is "Lilith's cave"
 
 
Other folktales describe of how Lilith captured Jewish babies in the night and ate them, and how she led young girls and young husbands astray. Although Lilith was demonized by early Jewish culture as a symbol of promiscuity and disobedience, many modern Jewish feminists see Lilith as a positive figure
 

 

http://www.art.net/~schong/lilithmyth.html

Zionist Assault on Gaza: Ritual Blood Sacrifice

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Jews celebrated Hanukkah 2008 with a mass murder of Palestinian civilians in Gaza City as ritual blood sacrifice to their God.

Jewish Bolsheviks

Everyone knows, all commies are jews.

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Famous Jews

Jews often pray to their "God" in the nude in a daily prayer they call "davening"."Plz, God, make it bigger..."
Jews often pray to their "God" in the nude in a daily prayer they call "davening".
"Plz, God, make it bigger..."
The Jewfish (Goliath grouper or Epinephelus itajara)
The Jewfish (Goliath grouper or Epinephelus itajara)

As if anyone fucking cares.

die Liste, mein herr

Quotes

 
 
Jews are always a convenient scapegoat in times of crisis.
 

 

—Abraham Foxman, Anti-Defamation League national director, getting it not quite right - Jews are always a convenient scapegoat, period.

 
 
I WILL BRING MY CATTLEPROD, MY MENORAH, MY FATHER WITH THIS MENORAH, MANY MANY MANY "RAPIST AND PEDO" RABBIS AND WE SHALL TORTURE YOU AND STRIP THE FLESH FROM YOUR BONES IN OUR FILTHY JEW LIKE WAYS
 

 

—David Finkleschmidtstein, To some innocents

 
 
OK you arrogant wannabe Nazi asshole. Raping is not funny, killing Jews or anyone else is not funny, you are fake and you have to hide behind your bullshit to feel secure. Good ban me, but you can get your stupid inbred ass up and tell me like a man, not "you got ass raped" well when your mom or sister gets ass raped lets see how funny it is then bitch. and you know what it's not a crime for me to change the entire page. I also feel the need to inform you that I am Jewish, and that all of that bullshit is highly offensive, and should you dare slip up, I will sue your site and you for hate crimes. Now would you like that how does it feel to be "pwned". Do you use that phrase because you were too busy fucking your inbred ass sister to open a book and learn to spell owned? Do you feel that you are superior because you can say shit like "I hate Jews" ya, when someone says I hate white inbred ass bitches and points at you then how do you feel? HMM? Do you still try to make yourself look big by saying even more spiteful and hateful things, do you have to hide behind this because the only ass you come close to getting is the one in that pic because you have a small dick? Do tell why you are so insecure that you must use words like niggerloving kike? I'm surprised you can spell those words right, I guess having a penis the size of a grain of rice and trying to jack it off you just gave up and learned to spell. Next all I need to do is wait and watch and as soon as you slip up I will have an attorney speak to you for the charges of hate crimes. So I expect a reply unless all of what I'm saying is correct. And next time I suggest watching what you say and allow to be said. Now you can return to getting cock in your ass
 

 

Typical Butthurt Greedy Jew, clearly trying to get money out of ED following his culture.

Commentary

This quote embodies the true soul of the Jew. He starts out with a Jewtastic argument about racism, but reverts to the typical "stupid inbred sister fucker" garbage that you expect from some butthurt whiner on the internet. He then goes on to say that surprise buttsecks isn't funny, which we all know is incorrect. Note how he resorts to threatening a lawsuit, the Jew's primary defense.

Jews in Pictures

A Visual Guide to Jews and Judaism

Jew Gallery

See Also

Jews on LiveJournal

External Links


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