Jawsus
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jawsus aka Pruane2 aka Sexman aka Pruane2Forever aka Prone2Failure aka BAYUTMAYUN aka Pierce (real name) is an ugly 13 year old cool guy who claims to be not interested in pornography, most notable for his fucked-up grill. His awkward silence (think Billoon45), high-pitched, whiny and grating voice (think Gaydiamond), doesn't help either. Essentially, all of which creates much antilulz and commercial shit like 50 cent. Jawsus derives his name from the fact that one could easily drive a Mack truck between any pair of his teeth. His father is a hopeless alcoholic with a mangina and his mother is a dickgirl AZN which explains why he looks like a fucking hybrid with bad teeth. He spends a great deal of time shitting out "movie reviews", offering his "thoughts" on various subjects or attacking porn addicts and gays. He really wants to suck Le Shizzle's wang because even though he became his YouTube friend he is still desperate for the cock. With cries of DENTAL PLAN, LISA NEEDS BRACES, and BRB OCEAN, The entire Internet drove him off of YouTube for a short while although he has returned to les tubes under the name Pruane2Forever.
Fuck he has braces now. I doubt they will do much, though.
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But why, daddy? I want moar, give me fame!
One wonders if Fra. Johann has ever spread his seed in rural Pennsylvania...
Some light was recently shed on the mysterious origins of Jawsus' twisted mind twisted teeth.
To wit: John, his father and bedfellow, appeared in a rambling drunk video to spin the yarn of how he once punched out a snooty cabbie.
Jizzus was in his fine, nasal, whiney form, and proved to be a hard-hitting journalist:
| —that's what Jawsus would have done, by golly. |
| —Father John, tough guy. |
He's Back, Assholes
(Sex)Man's best friend
Also in this gem of a video, Jawsus showed his deep affection for the family beagle when he was appalled that the insolent TaxiMan threatened to screw the pooch, too –- something that only Jazzus feels entitled to do.
Father John's Freudian slip of repeating "You wanna fuck my wife and my DAUGHTER?" as "You wanna fuck my wife and my DOG?" speaks volumes of the sexual escapades that take place at the Jawsus household.
Is he referring to Jawsus when he says "my daughter"?.
Chris Crocker is also Jawsus best friend as he/she (what ever the fuck a Chris Crocker is) duals Jawsus to a video-camera whore off!, to see who can bitch on about their lives the best. But because Jawsus hates everything they ended the relationship to go on with their transgender lives.
My name is
With levity known only to the inebriated, pappy John thought nothing of dropping SexMan’s powerword by addressing him “Pierce”.
In hindsight, this had been a very prescient name-choice for baby Jewsus, as piercing is exactly what his grating voice was to inflict on his unsuspecting public's auditory nerves not a decade and a half later.
He also divulged that he is of Irish ancestry, though that came as surprise to noone.
The greatest revelation of this short video came next, when Jawsus rebuked his father for using the name, and to quote:
It recently came to light that Jawwie had a bitchfight when his dad referred to him as "Pierce" because his dad didn't blow his load into Jawwie's mouth last time they had some fun, but instead, blew it all over his face.
There you have it. Had you been in a BDSM relationship with your father, you might have turned out a feckless lolcow, just as Jawwie has.
The saddest part of all this remains that a video of his drunk, rambling father got a rating twice as high as Jawsuses best offerings.
Jawsus on the front page
Proof positive that monkeys are still running les tubes, Jawsus was featured on March 14th, 2008 and again on April 14, 2009. Whether it was a mistake by a YT employee or in fact chosen to be front page material is still unknown but he has officially given hope to every other low life vlogger on the site who has honest dreams of hitting it big.
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Mommy Dearest, halp me become famous!
In what was hopefully a taste of things to come, Jawsus's mother made a short vocal cameo in the video. If her looks match the shrill voice, she is a 400-Lb hambeast with a hairy wart on her nose.
| —Jawsus the Sexman on e-fame |
Fan(g)B(r)as(c)e
| —Shotacat approves. |
This is boylover smoothoperator2005 seeing past the teeth, to his inner beauty, even forgiving Jawsus ripping his favorite shota fap show, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody.
Do let SmoothOperator know that boylove is nothing to be ashamed for. Oh and do remember Jawsus is homophobic.
Jawsus vs. Magibon
In what must be the most ironic and jaw-dropping statement ever to soil the noble tubes, Jawsus said this about MRirian:
| —the earth stopped spinning for a moment. |
Yes, you read right. Jawsus, the Canunck Juliana Wetmore IS CALLING SOMEBODY UGLY.
Not just that, he is calling somebody WITH FUCKED UP GRILL (who is otherwise demonstrably raepable) UGLY.
We may never know why world haet's Amerikka, but we do know why Amerikka haet's Jawsus.
What If
The video is the only one from Jawsus's apparent cockpuppet, Gang Bang Productions.
There are two ways to explain this.
A. Jawsus truely haets Magibon, or:
B. Knowing full well that he is the Joseph Merrick of our time, he realized that he will be (like his predecessor) relegated to search for true love among THE BLIND (and deaf, come to think of his voice).
UNLESS...he could find somebody as repulsive as himself, somebody with teeth so crooked and soul so camwhorishly black....Maggie!!?!
Upon this discovery, Jaewsus fell in loev with Magitard and quickly baleeted the hateful rant. Luckily, a concerned anon re-uploaded it in an attempt to prevent these two ever having offspring, as it would be the apotheosis of the dark matter of the internets.
Jawsus Related Videos before 50
And you thought that a regular vagina dentata was every guy's worst nightmare.
After he deleted his original channel, he recently returned to les tubes under the name Pruane2Forever. Shortly after creating this new account he uploaded a video with the message: "I'm Back Assholes"...Noticeably, the little coolio is under the impression that he is superior to everyone else, which can be seen with him saying "I took time out of MY day" in almost every fucking video. What an informed little blood belching vagina, trying to make himself sound ten times superior.
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ZOMG hes a racist. 50 CENT want to be his pal
Jawsus hates Soulja Boy, who is black, which makes him racist. He also is racist with the way he says "fifty...ur i mean fitty cent" which means he is gunna get a cap in his arse due to trying to act black.
It's pronounced TWO-PAWK, not TEEW-PACK, dipshit.
He then made another account where he hid his face due to his faggotery,that constantly gets hacked.
Jawsome Quotes
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Reactions to Jawsus
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Reactions to the Jawsus monster
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Gallery
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See Also
Resources
- Jawsus on YouTube
- Find a dentist near you
- Song Jawsus Christ, Stop Jacking It!
- MySpace - Send him hate mail! Or befriend him, get him to trust you then find him and break his teeth!
- Jawsus' long lost brother?
- His STEAM account Updated, retard thought he could shake us of by changing it slightly
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