All Ye Faithful, December 17, 2002

By Michele Blackburn

By Kasey


By Michele Blackburn

O, Come all you faithful JAG fans to JAG's Christmas special, All Ye Faithful. This hour is sure to warm your heart as a homeless couple get a very special Christmas present, the Roberts get a gift from Santa Claus and Mac's Christmas wish comes true.

This episode (as DJE told us on ET) pays special homage to A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens and the Christmas Story.

The show starts out with Harm and Boone missing their ride home because the tailhook on the C-2 broke. The CAG won't let Harm have a plane because of the most recent plane he dunked in the Atlantic last year (Adrift). That plane was meant for the CAG. Can you spell grudge? This gets Harm into checking on planes going to the East Coast. He finds the log sheet and talks two men into giving up their flight so Harm and Boone can take it (see Quotes on how he does it).

On their flight home, they end up helping a transport plane. They only run into two problems one of them being they can't find the transport. Here's where the Christmas story comes into it. The plane turns on it's lights and after careful searching Harm and Boone see the lights and help guide it in. It turns out the transport is delivering Toys for Tots all along the East Coast. I loved the version of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer that played as both planes landed on the ship.

While Harm is mid-air, JAG takes in a homeless couple who were booted out of their apartment because the husband, Corporal Tenney, played his drums too loud. The Admiral gives up his nice warm office to the couple so the pregnant wife can be comfortable. JAG had its own little miracle that night as baby Jason Tenney is born in the Admiral's office. This makes the second baby that is born in the Admiral's office and the third pregnant woman to be in JAG. Meredith mentions this to the Admiral on his way to Bud and Harriet's house and the Admiral, nervously, asks her if she's expecting a baby. Meredith informs him that she is not, but would like to be.

Bud and Harriet have one problem, well actually two problems with their dinner. Harriet's sick as a dog and they have no money for food. They head to the Support Detachment where Warrant Officer Scoggins (a grinch worse than Scrooge) tells them because of the new house and Bud's hasty transfers the money's been tied up. They have $14 dollars in their account which upsets Harriet even more because they were told earlier they had $16. Bud insists on taking Harriet to the hospital because he thinks she has food poisoning from eating five day old Chinese food. However, Santa (no joke!) gives them a little present for Christmas Eve. It turns out they're going to be having a baby. Harm and Mac will be godparents again.

Okay, I have something to say about Tiner's baby skills. Let's just hope Chuck is better with his own kids than he was with the baby on the show. Also, guess who has a little crush on newcomer Jennifer Coates?

Again while all this is going on, there are three Kuwaiti officials or as I like to call them "The Three Wisemen" lost in Virginia. The three men are supposed to be at JAG to inspect military operations. They found JAG with the help of the Admiral and a blinking red radio beacon I'll call the "star of JAG Headquarters". Get it? Star of Bethlehem. Star of JAG Headquarters. They show up just in time to see the baby. The three men offer gifts of gold, incense and an apartment in one of sixteen apartment complexes. Okay, so they changed the story a little bit. It was still a beautiful sentiment.

Warrant Officer Scoggins shows up at Bud and Harriet's offering his apologies and thirteen courses he had ordered from his favorite restaurant. Now everyone is happy except for Mac who is worried about a no-show Harm. We also find out that Meredith may not be able to do a lot of things, but she can play a piano. They all sang "O, Come All Ye Faithful" as Mac walked off to call Harm's voice mail.

And what would a Christmas episode be without Harm visiting his dad? This time he has Boone with him. Boone remembers the day his wingman went down and thanks Harm for bringing him along. While they are there they meet Lieutenant Clarence. The Lieutenant missed his Naval Academy graduation because he wanted to be with a friend on suicide watch. Harm takes off his wings and gives them to Boone to pin on Clarence since he missed his graduation and his wing pinning.

Literally at the last few minutes of the show, Harm appears as Bud's giving his speech. This has been an emotional year for Bud and he doesn't know what to say until Harm walks in the room and then with his raised cane he says, "God bless us." The show ended as it always has on Christmas with a message to our troops.

BTW, did I forget to mention that Jacob Marley's ghost visited Warrant Officer Scoggins?

BEST QUOTES OF THE SHOW:

"That man doesn't like you."~Boone
"Yeah. Only after knowing me one minute."~Harm
"That's all the time I needed."~Boone

"What reason do you want with our plane, sir."~ Officer #1
"We have twelve reasons and all of them are named Jack."~Boone
"I'm afraid alcohol won't do it, Admiral."~Officer # 1
"Throw in some Wizards tickets and then we having a conversation."~Officer # 2

"I'll introduce you to Jennifer Lopez."~Harm
"Is this something you can do, Commander?"~Officer #1
"Known her since '96. I see her twice a year."~Harm
"We'll hold you to it, Sir."~Officer # 1

"You see Jennifer Lopez twice a year?"~Boone
"Everytime I get my teeth cleaned. She's my dental hygienist."~Harm

"I will not allow you to undermine a perfectly valid level of resentment."~CAG (to Harm)

"Shut Up!" Harriet

"And give the Corporal this phone number. 555-0174."~General
"Another agency, sir."~Sturgis
"My son's apartment. Perhaps the Corporal can teach the band how to hold a beat."~General

"I hope the ghost of Jacob Marley drops chains on your foot!"~Harriet (to Scoggins)

"Honey, please slow down."~Harriet
"Sorry. Lead foot. Actually, a composite plastic foot."~Bud

"I've been to Virginia. It doesn't look like this."~Houshon
"What does Virginia look like?"~Ghuzzawi
"Quiet! I can't think."~Touban

"So we're on the same page?"~Harm
"Just make it one worthy of your biography."~Boone

"Experience any diarrhea?"~Dr. Kubato (as Santa)
(Harriet chuckles) "Sorry. I've never had Santa Claus ask me that question."~Harriet

"Is this a problem?~Coates (finding out that Harm isn't going to be late for Christmas Eve dinner)
"It is if we don't have Aspirin."~ Mac

"How many people are you going to piss off today?"~Boone
"Everyone, but you."~Harm

"You fly, Commander?"~Clarence
"Well, that's up in the air right now, Lieutenant."~Harm

"God bless us."~Bud


By Kasey

This episode was, in my opinion, lamer than any other I have seen. Not only was there no real clear and pressing plotline to follow, rather a series of tiny plots, but the cliches got to me.

I could handle Bud Cratchett and his "God Bless Us, everyone", because to me that was semi-acceptable out of Bud; leave it to him to make a joke like that (riding in a Jag with a JAG, anyone?). But somehow I missed in the Bible that the three wise men brought gold, incense...and a housing contract?

A little drummer Marine, Joseph Tenney, and his very pregnant wife were kicked out of their apartment for his excessive (and excessively loud) practicing of his drum set, causing neighbours to be unhappy. They went to JAG because nowhere else was open over the holidays, and Sturgis tried to help them. The Admiral put them up in his office while they waited. Next thing we know, the woman has given birth, the Admiral delivered her baby, and everyone is helping to try and make them more comfortable.

Meanwhile, Harm and Adm. Boone were on the carrier - we're not 100% sure why, but there was some sort of presentation involved by the retired Admiral. Their ride's tail broke off, thus missing the trap. So Harm and Boone were stranded. Until - hey, look! An F-14 needs to be returned to New Jersey! Unfortunately, two other men are supposed to pilot it. So, of course, Harm and Boone have to convince them otherwise. Harm promised to introduce them to Jennifer Lopez, who he sees twice a year - his dental hygeinist.

The CAG, however, didn't want to allow Harm to pilot the plane - turns out the plane he crashed into the Atlantic in Adrift was supposed to be the CAG's ride. Bummer. Finally he agrees, though expressing his wishes that Boone could be the one piloting...unfortunately, as he is no longer approved to fly, Harm will be sitting front-seat.

And they're off - and will make it home in time for Christmas after all.

Bud and Harriet are not having such good luck. There's only $16 and change in their checking account because neither one have been paid, they're supposed to have Christmas dinner for eleven, and Harriet spent the entire scene eating bad Chinese food. They go to try to solve the problem of their finances, and Warren Officer Scott, the man they talk to, is NO help whatsoever. After insulting Bud for his injury and saying "Why would the Navy want you back when they can fill both your shoes?", he proceeds to say that no, he can't help them, there's nothing he can do, and the party is their own fault for not getting food before the day of. Harriet snaps at him, ends up saying she hopes the ghost of Jacob Marley drops chains on his foot, then apologizes, saying she's not feeling well, and shortly thereafter rushes out of the room, sick. Bud thinks she has food poisoning and should go to the hospital, but she's too nauseous to drive, so they'll have to wait until she's up to it. "Not necessarily" Bud says...and next thing you know, he's driving. There's a cute little moment with her responding to his question about how she's feeling: "Sick...but safe." At the hospital, it takes forever to see a doctor - finally one dressed as Santa who's on his way to

Speaking of driving: three Kuwaiti men have been sent to the US to observe US Military Law...but they can't find JAG OPS. From time to time, the show would cut to them, arguing over where they were supposed to be going. My personal favourite was when one man said "This is not Virginia. I've been to Virginia and this does not look like Virginia." "What does Virginia look like?" another asked. "Not like this!" They finally called the Admiral and he directed them to the office - they followed the red light of the radio tower on top (or was that The Star?). The Admiral, Mac, and PO Coates (who is now working at JAG OPS) escorted them to the Admiral's office where rest the newly happy family. The not-so-wise men talk about how much of a blessing a child is, a symbol of peace on Earth...and presented the newborn and his parents with gifts: Gold, incense...and the third man owns 16 apartment complexes in the Metro area.

Meanwhile, up in the air, Harm and Boone get a radio transmission asking them to help a Marine aircraft get to dry land. Turns out they're carrying Toys for Tots donations - after a minor scare involving a weather balloon, Harm hooks the planes together and guides them both to a safe landing. How very Rudolph of him.

At the Roberts House, Big Bud has just arrived and no one's sure what to do about dinner...until Warren Officer Scott shows up. Having had a strange experience not unlike Scrooge in "A Christmas Carol" with Jacob Marley's ghost (who knew Harriet had so much power?), he has come over to apologize and bring dinner. He brought 13...and Mikey says there will be 12, including the Warren Officer...but Harriet corrects him. She's eating for two, so thirteen dinners will be just fine.

Harm takes Adm. Boone to The Wall, and there they meet a young Lieutenant. He has just graduated from flight training, but missed his winging ceremony because a friend of his is on suicide watch. Harm takes off his own wings, and the Admiral pins them on. Just as the lieutenant says his dream is to be a Blue Angel, a bell from a wreath hanging on The Wall begins to ring (could it BE more corny?).

At the Christmas Party, it turns out that Meredith actually does something well - play piano. Mac is worried about Harm, but he shows up just in time for Bud's pre-dinner speech. She immediately asks where his wings are, but he says he'll tell her later. Bud then raises his crutch slightly and says "God bless us, everyone!"

End of episode.

Definitely not up to par. I'm beginning to seriously wonder about JAG Christmas eps. In some fandoms (i.e. West Wing), the Xmas ep is almost a culmination of the first half of the season, full of beautiful acting and wonderful writing. This...was not. Very, VERY disappointing. Next time, TPTB, please write your OWN ideas instead of stealing (*badly*) from all other Christmas stories ever written.


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