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Warehouse 13 Review

 

Here is What You Need To Know:

Put it back in the warehouse and keep it there.  Seeing it all in high-definition just makes the pain all the more acute.  Another show about people running around looking for mysterious objects that do mysterious things?  Again, really?  That is what we get with Warehouse 13.  What makes this sad little show even more ridiculous is that it appeared with much fanfare as the SciFi Channel unveiled its "new" name and new branding.  The "new" SyFy promotional commercial was only about ten times better than Warehouse 13.  Come to think of it the promo was about ten times cooler than anything on this increasingly sad and lame "network."

The cast is truly awful in this stillborn joke of a show.  The two agents played by Eddie McClintock and Joanne Kelly are really annoying to watch.  McClintock is obviously not even remotely believable playing a "nice guy."  His screen presence is all wrong for the role.  Jeremiah fans, all 12 of us, might remember Joanne Kelly, who played Libby.  She just doesn't work in this role. Saul Rubinek is decent as Artie, but his character, like all the characters in Warehouse 13 is a cliched placeholder for the uninteresting dialog and "plot."  Boring and done to death, just like everything else on the SyFy channel.

A lot of people are going to compare this to the X-Files.  You will probably hear a bunch of crap about how Warehouse 13 is "a fun and whimsical version of the X-Files."  Its not.  Its not fun and the show it is "borrowing" from isn't so much the X-Files as it is Friday the 13th-The Series.  Not a lot of people remember this show but he it a man and woman team that inherited the task of recovering dangerous and powerful objects.   Friday the 13th-The Series ran for three years we will see how Warehouse 13 fairs.

 

 

 

What Was Cool:

 Seeing the end credits and knowing that it was over.

 

What Was Stupid:
 -The entire show.
-The people who wasted all the money on the SyFy rebranding.
 -Thinking that everyone, everywhere had forgotten all about Friday the 13th-The Series.

The Film’s Real Genius or Geniuses:

 Oh please...

 

Story D (The X-Files meets oh who cares.)
Use of Science C- (Sure science is mentioned but its treated as magic.  Oh that's progress.)
Acting D
Portrayal of Women B
Style/Sex Appeal C-
Enjoyability Grade
Home Theater/HD Factor C
(The cinematography will not set your HDTV on fire, but you might want to do it yourself after watching this recycler or plots.)
Gut Check (Level of Studio Executive Guts) D (Doesn't take much effort to order up something out of the formula bucket.)
Overall Innovation D
Overall Grade D

 

A Little Fact About Cherie:
Sadly, alas I am indeed old enough to remember Friday the 13th: The Series.  Perhaps I should just forget all about "the twitter" and the "Book of Face" and stay on MySpace will all the other old folks.