As with global warming and the handgun crisis, future generations will judge us harshly for not preventing Paris Hilton's music career while there was still time. Fortunately, the heir mattress's album is much sleazier than her disappointingly competent single "Stars Are Blind." Damn it, Paris, we don't want mellow reggae from you -- we want idiotic trash disco like "Turn It Up," "Screwed" and the admirably tuneless version of "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" "Don't be scared to party," this budding life coach advises. Why settle for pseudosleaze like Peaches when Paris delivers the real thing?

ROB SHEFFIELD

(Posted: Sep 6, 2006)

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