Bravesgirl5
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Bravesgirl5, now known as Bgirl5 or IRL as Lindsay, is an emotionally arrested charming young female who has foregone getting a job to go to college with the idea of living indefinitely with her parents. She rivals any 16 year old girl as a consummate cam whore with a devoted YouTube following consisting almost entirely of old men and nerds that hope she will someday take off her clothes on cam. Given that she has the intellectual capabilities of a golden retriever and a voice like nails on a chalk board, the hope of nudity and possible masturbation with produce is the only reason to continue watching her videos. Well, we take that back, she deleted them, lol.
Bravesgirl5 is an attention whore of the first rank, who always asks for it. Sadly, her predilection for enormous negro cock guarantees that her vagina will share much in common with a wind tunnel by the time she is able to legally drink. At that point, she will take up hanging around redneck honky tonks, swilling whatever is on tap, fucking good old boys in the backs of pickup trucks on Saturday night, and continuing to plaster her haggard, leather skinned mug all over YouTube, thinking someone cares. She also added to her level of fail recently by becoming the girlfriend of YouTube's posterboy for unfunny, Sxephil.
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GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUUUUUUUN
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100% REAL FOOTAGE
December 27, 2006
SHE IS BACK, as bgirl5. zomg!
The battle of Bravesgirl5
Bravesgirl5 was the makings of a tradition attention whore, except with a massive amount of subscribers urging to penetrate her. General wattagecat devised a plan to take her off the internet forever, saving her from what could have happened.
A dumb blonde
Lindsay err. Bravesgirl5 made the mistake of placing her name on the internets where everyone could see it. Her name, birthday, and pictures with her drinking with college boys were placed on ED.
The reaction
Bravesgirl5 got onto ED IRC and requested an account, and blanked her own page [1] BETRAYING an ED sysop (mod sass at its highest).
Her MySpace
Someone placed a redirect embed of a quicktime movie which brought her MySpace viewers to her ED page. Shocked, she deleted her MySpace account, allowing bantown to sweep in for the kill and take her MySpace name.
Leaving YouTube
With nearly 3,000 subscribers she closed her account with all her videos deleted.
Victory
After outspoken /b/tard and well known lamer Talim phished the MySpace accounts of several of her friends and used one of the accounts to embed a quicktime movie into her comments that redirects visitors to her profile to this article, she deleted her MySpace account and removed all her videos on YouTube.
Since Bravesgirl5 has threatened to quit YouTube forever at least a hundred times, the YouTube community was shocked that she actually went through with it.
Ok. You caught me. I lied. Nobody cares that she deleted her crap videos except for the perverts that need to find new fap fodder.
Denial
After all her pwnage, the dumb bitch doesn't get the idea that she has been trolled and that she has lost. To this day she still continues to say "I'll be back someday!". Why? So more old men can stare at your chest? ED's recommendation to Bravesgirl5 is to act more civilized, show some restraint for god's sake and make videos of yourself playing "hide the cucumber".
| —Bravesgirl5, Stickam |
Hatred for Lonelygirl
| —Bravesgirl5 |
Her anti-lonelygirl15 sentiment and jb-status made her a hot commodity to the older men that inhabit the festering shit hole called YouTube.
Cam whore or just plain whore?
Bravesgirl5 angles to use the young Britney Spears tease tactic of projecting the image of both sexuality and innocence. Note how she's painted up like a cheap tramp in nearly every video, posed in her pictures to draw attention, and flaunts her sex appeal by wearing clothing which enunciate her budding breasts. In blatant contradiction, she stated on her YouTube and Stickam sites that she doesn't do live shows. She went so far in one YouTube video as to call those that had remarked upon her obviously sexual behavior "perverts" despite the fact that she is completely asking for it.
Bravesgirl5 protests her innocence (now with added lulz).
Noodz
The Bravesgirl5 problem
Bravesgirl5 has been polarizing YouTube for months. Initially jealous of the subscriber list and popularity of Lonelygirl15, she attempted to attract the notice of the Lonelygirl15 fans. When it later became apparent even to those with an IQ below what is considered necessary to be functionally retarded that Lonelygirl15 was a hoax (namely, when a site appeared stating exactly that) she made an extremely anti-Lonelygirl15 video and attracted her first wave of haters.
Disclaimer
Her Docs, well, sort of
Source: Xanga ~Info about you~
Full name? '''Lindsay REDACTED''' Do you like your name? nope I hate it Were you named after someone? no What does your name mean? umm one time I read it meant PeAcEfUL IsLe..whatever thats supposta mean Birthday? REDACTED How old are you? 16 Location of birth? atl Where do you live now?atl Do you like it? not really If you could live in another state where would you live?cali,def. Hospital you were born at? REDACTED Time you were born? 1:25pm How much you weighed when you were born?8 lbs 2oz Eye color? hazel..mostly brownish green tho Hair color? strawberry dirty blonde..mmhm What school do you go to? centennial Do you take after your mom or dad's family? definitly my dads Are you left or right handed? right
~B/f or g/f?/crush~
Do you have a g/f or b/f? yup! If so, what's their name? Christopher Walken How long have you been going out? almost 14 months Were you friends before you went out? uhh for like 2 weeks How old are they? 17 What do they look like?SEEXXXAAAAAAAY! hah brown hair, blue eyes, 6'3 Do you have a crush on a celebrity? duh who doesnt If so, who? john mayer, andy roddick
Well, you get the idea...
Quotes
Just so you guys know, we're all going to internet court:
<JordanM> Alright, well, I tried. This will be taken to court you can count on that.
And you will all be forging spam headers in no time. Here are some other choice bits:
<JordanM> if it is not removed the user will have criminal charges pressed against him and i really do not want to have to put myself or you @ ED through all of that
Much like Argent009, you can tell that in the end all Jordan cares about is the welfare of us EDiots.
<JordanM> its not just the pictures. it is my full name and false information posted about me that is putting my family in danger and it needs to stop.
OH NOES!!!!~!11!!oneone Call Jack Bauer!!!1
Do not show her parents this
She will lose her internet access, like, forever.
 having fun? lol |
 now will you buy me stuff from my amazon wishlist? |
 drink up. But mooooom it was just root beer! |
 omg, john is like my best bf evar |
 very tactile around men |
i hope her parents aren't conservative, we all know they hate blacks. |
Her fans
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 Silly chinaman, don't you know she only goes in for dark meat? |
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 this one creeps even US out |
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Moar
 lol |
 A state of the union to her fans |
 b r a v e s g i r l |
Thanks for the mammaries |
Trivia
Did you know that Bravesgirl5:
- Lives in her basement
- Previously fostered a YouTube channel with over 2,800 subscribers
- Many of her subscribers were old men
- is now known under the alias "bgirl5"
- was welcomed back to YouTube by Violetkitty411
- Has a stickam, but never goes live
- is currently studying communications, while dating some dude that watches her YouTube clips
- Her voice sounds like the screech of chalk on a board
- was born on April 10th
See also
External links
- Bravesgirl5's new YouTube account "Bgirl 5"
- Bravesgirl's MySpace
- Bravesgirl5 on MySpace - She deleted it, but it was restored by our fellow EDiots.
- Bravesgirl5 on Stickam
- bravesgirl5 answers her fans' questions
- Bravesgirl5 on photobucket (public again, now with less nigras!)
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